trouble with walking..., grocery shopping, taste test - 8/24/2019 - (Day 67 of this 100-Day Nightmare)

Plague Dog

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edit: might i add, the sheer force with which she ripped open that bag of mediterranean candy is astounding and frightening. her desperation was palpable. don’t get between a gorl and her food, folks! you won’t like her when she’s angry.
What I thought was amusing was the way it was clearly open but then she kept tearing at it. It looked like it was so she could claim it was impossible to store so she would be forced forced to eat them all.
 

Strawberry Pocky

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
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Recap. Because I'm fucking lovely and saving you the horror. If anyone ninjas me I'll feed them to Fat Albert.
@L_I_F_T_E_D you ninja'd me. Shniffle.

Hey guize
Fuck off (this is going to go badly. I already want to smash the screen)

She asks how we are. She doesn't care, it's just so she can tell us she's utterly fabulous, just as you would expect a quarter ton of lard and dumbth to be. She thanks us for asking; dunno about you but I didn't. She looks like a truly exceptional toddler today; thin, stringy orange plait is the new bows/bun combo. Good, I can use it as a handle to carry her head around when Rickie finally loses it and decapitates her. And remember the hideously glitzy naff crimbo tree? She's wearing it as earrings. All of it. She has a Great-Pacific-Gyre'sworth of hideous plastic earrings, I am pleased that she had endeavoured to choose the worst ones. Achievement unlocked. Have a bun.

Apparently we need an app that is amazeeeen it's like this thing and that thing and she doesn't really know but you rully rully need it it's awesome. Well, I'm sold.

Apparently she walked for 3 minutes. Citation fucking needed. Screenshot of phone showing a time. I believe now. She'd not just put a timer on and let it run, not our gorl. She not a lah.

We're off to do more lumbereen walkeeen but Swo-lynn is in da house. We are Proud of ourselves for this mighty achievement. Er...what? Turning a timer on?

Holy Jesus fuck....we're off outside. insert gif of Jurassic Park glass shaking. Followed by Jurassic Park T-Rex shaking in terror. Some form of ambulation is being considered but we're having a sit and think about it first...I think that might be an arm. Please tell me I am wrong.

Aaaand we're off to The Tree, which is trying to uproot itself and run away. Thud squelch thud squelch reeeeeeeee (that's the leggeeeeeenz screaming in agony) There is a large tube of turkey tied to a stick in front of her head and our gorl WILL get that turkey....THUD SQUELCH THUD SQUELCH. We've left the phone behind to capture all the glory.

2.05 ominous grrrrowl noise. Are the leggeeeeens about to give up? Are we having a little dainty fart sichewayshun? Oh no, just a tractor starting up. Rickie must be doing more work.

We're at the tree. Earthquakes have occurred, tsunamis blooshed landwide, but still out gorl lumbers on.....

And we watch...

And watch....

Kill me.

Jeeeezus, this is taking forever. At least she's not talki- ah fuck. Ruined the moment. Twinkie Storrrr is now traumatized; this vuhlooorg is on track.

Ooof wheeeeeze ooooof wheeeeze ooooof. The behemoth's back hurts and...wheeeeze......hufff......Breathlynn....Backlynn...But WE WILL KEEP TRYING, GOOORLZ! Again, we are...huff.....Proud. Gasp.

Wants....Holy baby Jesus and all the angels on an iced cream bun....She wants you to DM on insta to tell her how to walk. I shit you not. DM Albert and tell her how to walk.

In shop. Gone ham, apparently. No idea what that means but it was unlikely to be pleasant for the ham. Talk talk bore bore. Hulthy....starting slow....drivel.....know own pace...get back to hulthy....look, green stuff (scrambled to hide chocolate covered lard slabs)

Oh. Stealth weather is freaking her out. Surpriiise. It's outside, but she'th thcared. Uwu.

Now we're home again, great editing. Used camera y'day, not using it today, blah blah drone it's all too hard and editing and phone and boooore and my ears have divorced me

Food. Trying to say Mediteranean. Failing. Beetus paws stroke food as Thumbo looks on, wishing Kate Winslett would caress her flesh beard thusly. Albert dribbles gently on the packaging. It's chocolate (I think? You know I'm not rully
listening) so "hulthy" lasted less time than particles take to circle an atom smasher. Breaking the laws of fizzix, along with the chairs...floor....Rickie's sanity....But she walked to the tree,you hatuurz. She deserves a treat.

Those of a delicate disposition, look away. Feeder porn/dump truck at work.

Fuck me, she's scarfing at a rate. She likes whatever shit this is of course she does because it's food. Still talking about food food food back to first food she likes food not so much this food (crams massive pawful in anyway) but....sput...first food good food. Hideous noises emanate. We're a Happy Hippo now, blurp.

AAAARGGHHHH HORRIBLE LESBIOTIC SEX MOMENT (Thumbo is going to smear lard all over her love then barbecue her massage the beast. EW. At least no oils are needed to braise our blessed bloater; she produces her own lubricating cheese.

Thankfully we were spared the deets and now we're doing SIMS. Ludicrously thin AL made by Thumbo which Albert feels is accurate...... then the beast cackles until she wheezes over Thumbo's own thinner SIM. It's HUHiLARious how thin Thumbo made her own sim and Al needs to point it out even if she dies trying,huff wheeeze, hufff. No irony here, gorls. What a cunt.

She's been watching a theeeeeng on telly it's rully rully good and you should watch it. Again, sold to T. Clanger, my we're on a roll today.

She thinks she's going to end the vuhlog here great I've clicked out faster than she followed that nosebag.


Summary.
Watch the walking and wheezing. Fuck the rest in the arse with a rusty spork.

FIN.


Field notes: the word "walked" is used herein as an over-arching verb covering any form of perambulatory movement except the scootypuff. She needed that, she'd walked to the tree.

There is no appropriate word for the specific movement and I haven't made one up yet (tho "bloofumpeting" is a strong contender. ) However, the motion can best be described as that of the Herculean effort involved when you decide to move a bloody huge wardrobe on your own and just sort of...graunch it from side-to-side. Albert, of course, is assisted by having limbs so she essentially throws one of these gargantuan lumps in front of her and momentum does the rest. After around ten seconds all outlying areas have more or less come to rest, and the next monumental limb is hurled forth.

Unfortunately our researcher's notes end abruptly at that point. It is feared he was crushed underfoot. RIP, poor squashed person.
The scholarly/vocabulary struggles are all to real. Mighty Albert, the Biggest of Hams, really does defy description and transcend dictionary definition.

I have been going with "Humpflapping" recently, myself.
 

Nicotine Fetish

kiwifarms.net
not going to watch this video because it sounds boring as fuck
but if what you guys are saying about her not even being able to walk 3 mins.
thats a big yikes
like bro just imagine
you can't even walk fucking 3 mins and you're under 30 years old
and for literally, literally, LID-ER-ALLY, because you can't stop eating shitty foods.
you make a ton of cash filming yourself doing stupid shit with your iphone
actually live in a house with your fellow LGBT buddies
somehow got yourself a significant other
and (I mean... all things considering at her weight) your health is redeemable.
i know im saying shit that has been said a thousand times before
but my god woman what the fuck is happening that you have LID-ER-RALLY every blessing and your chunking it out the window for some shitty food. I just find it so gross how an """able bodied""" woman making fat stacks of cash rambling into her phone 10 mins a day can cry to herself asking ~wHy mE~ because she can't put down the burger king.
addict doing addict shit and it's as gross and amusing as always.
 

Pinky&Perky

kiwifarms.net
View attachment 905239

How can you look like this and still be conceited as hell. She is down right horrifying!
I do not like Becky, but she didn't sign up for this - there is no way this woman can take care of her intimate personal hygiene..... I can't even imagine what it is like for Becky in this heat to deal with Amber's period let alone everything else - and Amber tries to alleviate her shame by putting Becky down in her vloggs - this can not go on - Becky is going to rage quit on Amber and yet again we will get a pity me crying vlog and some idiot white knight feeder will come and rescue her in his flat-bed truck and whisk her away to yet another state .... Is it Minnesota's turn yet?
 

letericajones

Yes, yes, uh-huh !
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I only watched the walking part because I wanted to see the sideshow and it looks like her ankle fat is about ready to touch the ground. So just to recap she can waddle for a few mins, sounds like she's about to have an asthma attack and can only navigate stores with a mobility scooter. I wonder at which point morbidly obese people transition to the bed bound stage.. whether they decide one day it's time to move on or if they just can't get up one morning.
 

clusterfuckk

My soul was empty...so I ate 2 ramens.
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I only watched the walking part because I wanted to see the sideshow and it looks like her ankle fat is about ready to touch the ground. So just to recap she can waddle for a few mins, sounds like she's about to have an asthma attack and can only navigate stores with a mobility scooter. I wonder at which point morbidly obese people transition to the bed bound stage.. whether they decide one day it's time to move on or if they just can't get up one morning.
It usually happens after a medical issue that results in them not moving from bed for a few days. Then it’s all over for the fatty. That’s literally all it takes.
 
E

EH 110

Guest
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I do not like Becky, but she didn't sign up for this - there is no way this woman can take care of her intimate personal hygiene..... I can't even imagine what it is like for Becky in this heat to deal with Amber's period let alone everything else - and Amber tries to alleviate her shame by putting Becky down in her vloggs - this can not go on - Becky is going to rage quit on Amber and yet again we will get a pity me crying vlog and some idiot white knight feeder will come and rescue her in his flat-bed truck and whisk her away to yet another state .... Is it Minnesota's turn yet?
Becky did kinda sign up for this. She found Amber through YouTube and chose to reach out to her. Shortly after Amber moved in, Becky turned against Rafe, who had been her friend for 10 years. Becky wanted to take things slowly, but within months of meeting Amber in person, they were living together. When Amber said her lease was up, Becky should have said, "That's too bad. I'll help you look for a new apartment." Instead, she invites Amber into their home. A couple of months later, Becky quit her job after a minor injury. She recovered and never went back to work. Becky has no backbone and that's her own fault. She's willing to put up with Amber for cheap toys and clothes. I don't feel bad for either of them.
 

Nicotine Fetish

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It usually happens after a medical issue that results in them not moving from bed for a few days. Then it’s all over for the fatty. That’s literally all it takes.
Very true. Amberlynn is one medical mishap away from the house of cards falling down. Not saying I want it to happen (low key maybe I do for the entertainment value) but legitimately one mishap away from her body collapsing. It’s really not cute. And she could really die that quick. She is extremely sick - more than I think she realizes. She’s only a skip away from her bank account getting robbed with medical bills, her mobility tanking, and developing some kind of chronic incurable illness. It’s kind of scary. And the fact that she laughs about it is morbid. Cause we all know who will get the last laugh. 😉 hope she has life insurance. Cause that’s gonna be a large expensive casket.
 

letericajones

Yes, yes, uh-huh !
kiwifarms.net
Becky did kinda sign up for this. She found Amber through YouTube and chose to reach out to her. Shortly after Amber moved in, Becky turned against Rafe, who had been her friend for 10 years. Becky wanted to take things slowly, but within months of meeting Amber in person, they were living together. When Amber said her lease was up, Becky should have said, "That's too bad. I'll help you look for a new apartment." Instead, she invites Amber into their home. A couple of months later, Becky quit her job after a minor injury. She recovered and never went back to work. Becky has no backbone and that's her own fault. She's willing to put up with Amber for cheap toys and clothes. I don't feel bad for either of them.
Good point. Look how quickly she gave up her independence.
 

Turd Blossom

Take your protein pills & put your helmet on
True & Honest Fan
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And I think the saddest part is that if she started doing three minutes of walking three times a day, she could really improve
Am I crazy or didn't her weightloss Dr. suggest she do this? But apparently she decided to disregard everything he told her because she willfully misinterpreted his advice and he had the unmitigated nerve to suggest she snack on beef jerkey instead of cramming Reese's cups in her piehole.

View attachment 905239
How can you look like this and still be conceited as hell. She is down right horrifying!
The fact that she put that outfit on, looked in the mirror and decided that a dainty hair bow would add just the right amount of pizzaz is absolutely wrecking me.
The hair bow era was the best era and I'm glad to see it make a comeback.
Perhaps she's digging them back out of storage in anticipation of Destiny's return.
bow1.png

A nostalgic flashback to better times, humongous hair bows, chunkier chokers, thicker hair and a daintier, slimmer gorl.
 

Barbarella

Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake.
True & Honest Fan
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The most amazing thing to me is she takes a video like that, watches it back, and posts it. What does she see that we don’t? (Or Vice versa?)

All she has to do is twist her ankle on one of these “walks” and that is the end of her diminishing mobility. Look at her foot position now, and look at the fat dripping down over her ankles. She’s not walking, she’s heaving her fat from side to side, and it could throw her off balance. She’s really not far from true bedbound status and then death.

Once on pillow mountain forever, Becky will bring her fast food and candy even when immobile. If people get disgusted and stop watching, they are in a world of hurt because all her money is YouTube-she has no sponsors and no other paid obligations.

I also believe those leggings have been on a couple years. A years or so ago she admitted that clothes can “grow” with fat, it’s why she wasn’t concerned about sizes. Those pants are so tight that I don’t think she can put them on and take them off daily.

If we saw her legs, they wouldn’t be like that picture, smooth and fat. There would be lipomas and mushrooms and discoloration and infected areas all over. They’d look like this:
 

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Gorlax

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The heavy breathing sounds kind of overexaggerated. She sounds like someone who's being super melodramatic after getting done at the gym. I can see her breathing all heavy for the camera as a flex, like "I'm so exhausted after working out SO HARD", but in reality she walked for a couple of minutes so it reaps more of a "I'm so out of shape I get winded just being a human" result.
Just my thoughts idk. You never know with Hamber.
 
W

WS 530

Guest
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yep nougat is exactly what this fat bitch needs more of

at first i was a little MOTI about becky's caretaker buying her a PS4, but today's video made me realize that becky will have to sit there playing with amber constantly watching over her shoulder and shrieking BAYBEEE at everything she does. have fun, becky.

the timer for walking wouldn't work because she would set it for 3 and a half minutes and set off for her loop around the trees. the timer would go off while still out by the trees and she would be stranded out there, unable to make it the 15 steps back to her stoop. eventually the landlord would have to call the same crew of men to come and haul her away piece by piece like her beloved tree :'(
I d pay to watch that
 
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Strawberry Pocky

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
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I do not like Becky, but she didn't sign up for this
lmao she absolutely, literally did.

Very true. Amberlynn is one medical mishap away from the house of cards falling down. Not saying I want it to happen (low key maybe I do for the entertainment value)
Soft/Respectful disagree on the "Entertainment" value point there, my pal my dude. Big Ham has been serving up the most mind-numbingly boring, god awful pigswill over the last few months it would be an insult to even call them Vlogs at this point. It's bland, tasteless, awful garbage.
Did you SEE the ASMR videos? Do you remember the dry chicken sandwiches?
The ceiling weigh ins?
House/Bedbound Era is well and truly the worst Era - and if Hamber finally succumbs to a medical condition or situation and winds up on the filthy Pillow Swampheap permanently? That's fucking it, friend.

Game over, man. Game over.
 

Pinky&Perky

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The heavy breathing sounds kind of overexaggerated. She sounds like someone who's being super melodramatic after getting done at the gym. I can see her breathing all heavy for the camera as a flex, like "I'm so exhausted after working out SO HARD", but in reality she walked for a couple of minutes so it reaps more of a "I'm so out of shape I get winded just being a human" result.
Just my thoughts idk. You never know with Hamber.
Agreed, she does seem the type who is over dramatic with a feigned illness but with genuine life threatening disorder she ignores and underplays them
 
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Plague Dog

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All she has to do is twist her ankle on one of these “walks” and that is the end of her diminishing mobility
I almost wonder if she would be happy if that happened. Not to have a hurt ankle obviously, but it would incur several "advantageous" side effects
  1. She wouldn't have to exercise or weigh in.
  2. She would be deserving of sympathy.
  3. She could ask her housemates to bring her whatever she wants to eat because she obviously can't cook.
  4. She'd get a ton of views.
  5. She could blow off whatever she wanted for "medical reasons."
  6. If she did "attempt" some exercise she could just stop after a minute because it's making her leg hurt.
 
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