TRYING MOCHI + WEIRD CANDY!!!!! - 7/30/19 - fat gaijin eats japanese food and cRaZy snacks again

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Ravenna

kiwifarms.net
Candy again.
How many veggies has she even eaten since she announced that her doctor was not allowing her to have veggies (lie) so she had to stop his plan? The two wilted pieces of broccoli on your orange chicken don't count gorl.
Thankful for all of you that do the re-uploads and recaps. I can't stomach her videos in their entirety anymore, and I don't want to give her any views either.
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
Candy again.
How many veggies has she even eaten since she announced that her doctor was not allowing her to have veggies (lie) so she had to stop his plan? The two wilted pieces of broccoli on your orange chicken don't count gorl.
Thankful for all of you that do the re-uploads and recaps. I can't stomach her videos in their entirety anymore, and I don't want to give her any views either.
From what we've seen, she ate the lettuce and that veggie monstrosity with those fries. Thank God she took the tomato off or she would have been seriously off plan.
 

Loves to Huff

Fantabulously Greasy
kiwifarms.net
Candy again.
How many veggies has she even eaten since she announced that her doctor was not allowing her to have veggies (lie) so she had to stop his plan? The two wilted pieces of broccoli on your orange chicken don't count gorl.
Thankful for all of you that do the re-uploads and recaps. I can't stomach her videos in their entirety anymore, and I don't want to give her any views either.
Don't forget the two cucumber slices on her totally healthy veggie burger!

At least AL didn't force Becky to taste this candy. She looked so uncomfortable the last time; as dumb as Becky can be she seems to have at least some sense of shame. Definitely evident in the Taco Bell moookbongg where AL chided her for eating too slow.
 

Wyzzerd

Magical advice for reasonable fees.
kiwifarms.net
You ain't kidding, that looks fucking horrible. It looks like she's put her fingers in soil, smushed them around, pulled them out and said, "Bayyyyyyybuh, I'm ready to eat my Orange Chicken. Bring it here."
A spoonful of soil is probably cleaner and healthier to eat than anything Amber has come in direct contact with.
 

EvaBraunsGhost

I was like - whuuuuut???
kiwifarms.net
Sooooo, Albert finally admits (while trollingly pretending to jest with us) what we've known all along...gorl gotta problem with dollar, they burn holes in her pockets but she couldn't possibly do anything useful with her cash like, oh, idk, med insurance maybe??? Oh no, let's buy and ruin some Japanese snacks absolutely nobody is interested in and her 600lb frame certainly doesn't need 😏

Screenshot_20190730-171912.png

One (okay there's more than one but hey) thing bugging me lately is Al's missing-tooth type situation, is it just me or does it look a lot more visible lately?
 
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Lex in tonne

kiwifarms.net
I always wanted to try making one of these, this seemed like a perfect opportunity to do so.
Took a while and a bit of my soul but it'd be a good resource to quote from since it is basically word for word everything that was said in this video (reduced the speed to 75% and 50% to understand some of the nonsense that was said at some points)

anyways, enjoy!

(Amber waves, smiles) “Hey guys! So, in today's video (holds up bag full of candy) we're going to try.. a bunch.. of snacks. I know not everyone likes it when I do these videos and I totally understand, but, let's take my weight out of the occasion, just for this video, I'm only trying little bits and pieces of each thing, I'm not sitting here eating the whole thing.”

(holds up bag again) “So, the store is in the mall, where we are located. It's called FYE.. aaand.. we got just a BUNCH of random snacks. Obviously, whatever we eat, we're gonna give to, uh, she has like a huge family, we have roommates (rolls eyes) etcetera etcetera. (cut) Becky is sitting right next to me she didn't wanna be in this video so I was like OkAy. (holds up bag again) She's actually going to be handing me the random snacks. I feel like most these things are actually gonna taste really really good.”

(holds up first candy bag) “First things we're trying is a sour smog ball. (reads) it's crunchy candy with a sour chewy center (shows candy bag to camera). I... (snickers, rolls eyes, licks lips sneakily) I'm, I.. I can't handle sour like Becky can... so. The flavors are lime, cherry, strawberry and lemon, blue raspberry and grape. I'm just gonna go in for it and try a... cherry. (cut, holds open bag to her face, sniffs, screeches) ahhaah (looks at Becky) they SMELL sour (back at camera) I've never SMELT sour before (sniffs open bag again) Until NOW. (holds red candy to camera) Goteem (pops candy into mouth)”

Becky in the background “heh, Goteem”

(Amber sucks on candy ball and reads packaging again) “Okay, it's a crunchy candy so lemme suck on it.. (inhales deeply) I'm gonna fast forward and when I start tasting sourness i'll let you know how it tastes. As of right now.. (symbolizes OK sign with both hands) it's really good it tastes like (motions in a happy dance way) a creamy cherry situation.”

(cut) "Okay, so I been sucking on it for about like, fifteen seconds, (smacks lips sucking candy) it's just getting sweeter. In my opinion. (smacks lips, holds candy between teeth for camera, smacking more, rolling eyes, pretending to look at watch on wrist comically waiting for something to happen) tik tok.. (laughs wheezing, chews) I'm chewing, (chews, smacks lips, gets excited) OkAaaAy, It's definitley sour but it's not like, “oh my god”. (sourness kicks in, squints hard,) wait, I think it got in my nose (laughs, pats her chest,) I'm getting heartburn (laughs wheezing), (cut) “those were really good, not as sour as I thought they'd be, (smacks lips) but like I said I can't handle sour so it was like, in my nose and now I have heartburn.”

(holds up second candy box to camera) “next thing is Pocky, this is (reads from box) an almond crush chocolate pocky, it's chocolate cream covered biscuit sticks (opens box) I have tried these before, (imitates sassy woman voice) but it's been a long time booboo (pulls candy bag out of box, shows it to camera) so this is how they look, (opens bag) Pocky is always.. (licks lips) incredible you literally can't go wrong (pulls one stick out, licks lips) so. (shows it up close to camera, takes dainty bite, nods head in approval, smacks lips) mhhm. (chews, orgasm eyes, smacks lips) oh this is goood (another dainty bite) it literally tastes like a little (motions sassily) bread pretzel situation with some chocolates (orgasm eyes) can't go wrong.”

(holds up third candy bag, excited) “you guys.... I've... never tried Mochi before... I'm probably pronouncing it wrong. But this is mango Mochi. (licks lips, opens bag) I'm super super nervous (swallows) but, (notices something written on bag, surprised and excited) what? It's only 87 calories for one of these (tears bag open with teeth, sniffs inside the bag, looks unimpressed) hmm.. I'm not sure I like the smell. (close up shot of her face, GASPS sharply, remains in shocked expression with open mouth and wide eyes for a few seconds while holding Mochi off camera, gasps again) oh my god if a cloud, you, if you could feel a cloud it would be this (shows Mochi to camera, squishes it) look at it! Huh, okay. (licks lips, takes big bite, looks at Mochi and shakes head in shock) there's stuff in the middle (shows half eaten Mochi to camera with mango filling inside) (chews, shocked face, looks at Mochi, licks lips) OKAY. (motions OK sign with one hand) that's good, I taste the mango which is probably the center, (licks lips) I think the outside part (takes dainty nibble, smacks lips like a candy connoisseur) is like.. (more wine tasting lip smacking situations) kinda creamy?”

(holds up fourth candy bag to camera) “we have some Breaking Bad Blue Sky rock candy. (opens bag) so, here's a little tidbit, (smacks lips) I have never seen breaking bad, I won't watch it, I tried to watch the first episode but.. it kinda triggers me. I hate saying that, I hate being that person it just reminds me a lot of my past so I'm just like hmmm.. I'm good. So the fact that I'm trying this, hah, wEiRd. (holds blue rock candy to camera) so, this little, blue rocks (daintily puts rock in mouth, chews on it, looks unimpressed, smacks lips, looks at candy bag) this.. this is literally just a sugar rock.”

(holds up fifth candy to camera) “okay, so this is wEiRd, a, hi, (licks lips) this is called “a leaky bar” (reads from package) it's green citrus frosting (frowns suspiciously) filled white chocolate (shows packaging of girl in piggy tails with green snot running from her nose)”

becky in the background “it's actually garbage pail kids”

“yeah, it says garbage pail kids (motions candy in front of camera, pretend confused) whaAat..?? that looks like snot. (opens package) oh shoot it's green!! (looks at Becky) I thought it was gonna not be green huh, I don't know why (looks at green chocolate bar) OkAyy.. let's just try a little.. situation like this (hesitantly takes bite, chews, smacks lips, adorns another shocked expression, smackity smack smack lips some more, confused expression) my taste buds are ACTUALLY confused (smells candy bar, disgusted expression, looks at Becky) Stinks. (laughs) I'm gonna try just a you know, another nibble (takes another full size bite, shows half eaten bar to camera with green filling inside) this is what it looks like (chews, looks at package) I think I like it.. You can definitely taste the white chocolate it's super creamy and soft.. the green citrus.. (smack) it's not like as citrusy as it sounds.”

(holds up sixth candy box to camera) “we have another Pocky, I feel like I've tried this one before? I'm not a hundred percent sure, this is cHocoLaTe BaNanA (opens bag, smiles excitedly) chocolate banana is so good, tell me if you guys remember (smacks) whennnn the ice cream truck used to go past, I used to always get this like chocolate and banana.. ice cream situation? I don't even know. But okay (pulls out candy stick shows to camera) they're literally just yellow. (takes bite. Chews, smacks lips, looks confused. Takes another bite.) HMMMMMMmmm (tosses rest of candy stick into her mouth and looks inside package) are they only yellow? (cut, puts candy bag back into the box) so far this might be one of my favorites.”

(holds seventh candy package to camera) “y'all, we have another Mochi. This is the strawberry Mochi. (opens package) from how the mango one tasted, I feel like I'm gonna like this one even more (gasps as she drops a mochi to the floor) one went down on the floor (cut) they're so cute and fluffyyy I just wanna keep one as a pet. Alright you guys ready? (takes a big bite and looks at camera, moaning sounds, showing half eaten Mochi to camera with red filling inside, moaning, eye fucking the half eaten Mochi in her hand, smacking, lips licking, nodding and shaking candy in her hand) it's GOOOD but I feel like I like the mango better! (takes another bite) which is really weird, (licks lips) but it is good!”

(holds eighth candy package to camera) “we have some original gummy fun mix (laughs, tears package open) OkAy. (smells inside of bag, pulls back in disgusted look) ooohhhh this smells like a trash can (resumes smelling, looks at Becky, bursts out wheeze-laughing) that does not smell good. (looks inside bag) so, I can't tell what is what because it doesn't tell you, so I'm just gonna go in and dive in (pulls a green gummy bear out) we have a green one ( chews gummy, looks left and right, smacks lips, scoffs dismissively) tastes like a gummy bear (pulls a shark shaped gummy) we have a little.. shark, I guess? (eats half shark, looks unimpressed, looks back into package, eats other half of shark) tastes like a gummy? (pulls green-white marbled gummy and shows to camera) this one's cool. So here we go. (bites half of gummy and shows the other half to camera) look how pretty! (chews, smacks, unimpressed, eats second half of gummy, shrugs shoulders) they literally just taste like regular gummies.”

(holds ninth candy bar to camera) “here we have a Food Fight bar (looks at package) it says its smooth and sweet cookie buttah tard cum chocolate. (licks lips) oh my gosh this sounds so good (opens wrapper) so its shaped like the green one I had but this one's actually chocolate. (takes dainty bite)”

Becky in the background “and it's not garbage pail kids.”

(moaning sounds, shows candy bar with missing bite to camera, chews, looks confused) wait, (smacks lips, chocolate expert detecting hints of oak and aged cocoa situation type deal nodding in approval) you can definitely taste the cookie butter which to me.. cookie butter kinda has like a cinnamon taste (takes another dainty bite) it's not bad. If I'm craving chocolate, (shrugs shoulders) sure. Other than that... (unimpressed) eeh.”

(holds tenth candy package to camera) “SO excited for thesee.. these areee (reads from package) "chuggerz - this split is bananas its gummy scented bananas" (shows candy to camera, licks lips) I... LOVE banana FLAVORED things.. (repulsed impression) I just don't care for bananas too much (opens package pulls out banana gummy) shaped like a banana (smells it) smells like a banana (bites half, chews, gets aroused) tastes like a banana (moans, shoves other half of banana gummy into her mouth, orgasm face) I know that's so weird (wheeze laugh) I just said I don't like bananas but I'm like oooh tastes like banana (shakes head) tell me there's someone else out there like that. (hold package to camera) these are so good, I recommend these, oh my god.”

(holds bottle of soda to camera) “So, to wash it all down we have a.. (reads packaging) carbonated soft drink in sour watermelon flavor. Opening these.. (gets ready for a momentous task) are always fun and I just dropped the lid. (shows cap to camera) so you have to put that little thingie inside this thingie and a ball drops and its like clink clack clickity clack alright let's do this thing. (shoves cap into bottle neck and exudes inscrutiating amounts of effort to drop the ball) (cut) you guys I'm saddened to tell you that this little.. part of this actually broke. (snaps cap top off) see? So I can't get it open. And I tried (tries twisting the bottle open) twisting and twisting and twisting and I know people who probably drink these all the time you guys are probably like YoUrE sO DuMb.... I am. So, not gonna be able to try that (puts bottle away) love wasting money.. but I still hope you guys enjoyed this video I feel like really sugared up and I don't really like that feeling?? for some reason afterwards if I chug water I feel a lot better so I'm gonna go do that but I hope you guys enjoyed the video and i'll see you in my next one (blows kiss to camera)

end

and this is my favorite screenshot from the video :)
67301399_2881389415268599_5550851995759280128_n.png
 

Barbarella

Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So, been thinking about her tooth situation. Her timeline is confusing, but I think it’s after her belly button situation, yeah? They gave her antibiotics, so maybe whatever infection she’d started in her rat teeth were also killed along with the fat caused infection. Her mouth is not healed though, those teeth are still coming in, so the pain cessation is temporary. Maybe it’s why she could eat a bag of candy without whining. (We know she’d have eaten it either way).

Which sweet summer child thinks Amber will leave any sort of tip for the maid? It’s adorable that somebody still thinks Amber has the ability to do anything nice for somebody else, especially when nobody will know. (Counting Beckster as a nobody.)

Last video when she was playing that card/question game situation and was asked what misconceptions about Americans she’d like to dispel, not only did she not know what dispel meant, her answer was that Americans are fat. Next video she eats two pounds of Japanese candy.

Maybe the situation was that she thought “dispel” meant “agree with.”

I’ve sat through a lot of fucking boring video situations waiting for her to have a stroke due to her untreated diabetes. But I’m starting to think I’m the one who stroked out for continuing to put up with this.

Situation.
 

Takayuki Yagami

Justice is Blind, and Autistic
kiwifarms.net
Considering the degree to which she just inhales shit, and the overall texture of mochi when you’re not ready for it, does she nearly choke on it? I can’t listen to this bitch without commentary.
 
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Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
So, been thinking about her tooth situation. Her timeline is confusing, but I think it’s after her belly button situation, yeah? They gave her antibiotics, so maybe whatever infection she’d started in her rat teeth were also killed along with the fat caused infection. Her mouth is not healed though, those teeth are still coming in, so the pain cessation is temporary. Maybe it’s why she could eat a bag of candy without whining. (We know she’d have eaten it either way).

Which sweet summer child thinks Amber will leave any sort of tip for the maid? It’s adorable that somebody still thinks Amber has the ability to do anything nice for somebody else, especially when nobody will know. (Counting Beckster as a nobody.)

Last video when she was playing that card/question game situation and was asked what misconceptions about Americans she’d like to dispel, not only did she not know what dispel meant, her answer was that Americans are fat. Next video she eats two pounds of Japanese candy.

Maybe the situation was that she thought “dispel” meant “agree with.”

I’ve sat through a lot of fucking boring video situations waiting for her to have a stroke due to her untreated diabetes. But I’m starting to think I’m the one who stroked out for continuing to put up with this.

Situation.
I'd be gobsmacked if either one of them are remotely aware that it's proper etiquette to tip your housekeeper if they're cleaning for you multiple days. Neither one of them seem like they've ever stayed anywhere nicer than a roadside motel. Even if they did, you're right, there's no way in hell she'd do it. She already bitched about paying for the room. That would come out of the CF fund, boo boo. Can't have that can we?
 

wommart rat

kiwifarms.net
The fact that she thinks any of this shit is interesting, edgy, or novel only demonstrates how small her world really is. They sell pocky at walmart, mochi at trader joe's -- and now, apparently, at FYE (which I thought was extinct but apparently still has a foothold amongst the hillbillies). If she was going to eat truly authentic Japanese snacks she'd need to find a real Asian market and get some dried squid, some shrimp flavored rice crackers, some red-bean flavored candy, etc. But wait, she wouldn't do that because (as everyone else has pointed out) this was an excuse to eat some candy, not actually experiment with foods from a different culture.
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
The fact that she thinks any of this shit is interesting, edgy, or novel only demonstrates how small her world really is. They sell pocky at walmart, mochi at trader joe's -- and now, apparently, at FYE (which I thought was extinct but apparently still has a foothold amongst the hillbillies). If she was going to eat truly authentic Japanese snacks she'd need to find a real Asian market and get some dried squid, some shrimp flavored rice crackers, some red-bean flavored candy, etc. But wait, she wouldn't do that because (as everyone else has pointed out) this was an excuse to eat some candy, not actually experiment with foods from a different culture.
Exceptional hillbillies at that. They were ridiculously overpriced in their heyday. I can't imagine that's changed. Of course, we're talking about two exceptional individuals who still purchase DVD's, yes, DVD's, from the discount bin at WalMart, so...

ETA: They'd be repulsed by actual Japanese snacks. Becks would be too terrified to even try and Culturedlynn would scrunch up her pigs nose at the first whiff of anything seafood adjacent. It isn't slathered in mayo based sauces so it's not authentic, right? I also love that she wants to learn about a country and culture that if she could survive a flight out to would be stared at in awe and disgust by everyone she encountered.
 

Turd Blossom

Take your protein pills & put your helmet on
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"Becky didn't want to be in this video"

It's nice to see Amber's trusty thumbservant finally smartening up a little. It also might shed some light on how, despite her girlfriend's best efforts to sabatoge her, she's managing to lose some weight "without really trying".

Remember when Amber smugly informed us that she had to keep track of Becky's calories because she was so much better at it and Becky didn't know what she was doing? My how the tables have turned.

Also I enjoyed how Amber claimed that "WE got these snacks at the mall". I'm pretty sure she meant "I sent Becky to get those snacks and some Cheesecake Factory takeout at the mall while I sat in the room watching Trisha Paytas vids and had UberEats deliver me a light snack of crab rangoon with double rice because she was taking too long,"
 

YOUR MOM

Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.
kiwifarms.net
Has Eric put up a video taken during his and Rickie's vacation from Amberlynn? They must be so happy but what if this gives them incentive to break up the family? Eric's videos are the only place we can see Al's true form unposed and with all 620lbs on display.
 

ADHD

kiwifarms.net
So, been thinking about her tooth situation. Her timeline is confusing, but I think it’s after her belly button situation, yeah? They gave her antibiotics, so maybe whatever infection she’d started in her rat teeth were also killed along with the fat caused infection. Her mouth is not healed though, those teeth are still coming in, so the pain cessation is temporary. Maybe it’s why she could eat a bag of candy without whining. (We know she’d have eaten it either way).
In her Snapchat tantrum, she said she'd been to the dentist. We just haven't seen any videos addressing it yet due to her fucked up out of chroniclelogical order situation.
 
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