Tumblr Yaoi fangirls - the lulziest breed of fandom

[tobacky_vapor]

Let me be the first to say there's nothing wrong with liking same sex pairings/sex/whatever. But there comes a point where You got to accept the fact that not everyone that you want to be gay is going to be gay. Yaoi fangirls have always amused me because most of the fanbase happens to be one of the most deranged groups you will ever come across, they are also the easiest to piss off. Despite how batshit insane they are, whenever confronted with the slightest tidbit of logic, they lose their shit.

Here is an example of their insanity:
http://weebstories.tumblr.com/image/63741841161

My fondest memory interacting one was at an anime convention. This was awhile ago so this isn't word for word, I typed the events the day after this took place so not everything is accurate.

Spoiler

Me and a friend of mine were discussing who we like pairing up with for fire emblem awakening. For me it was tharja (because marrying her gives you two powerhouse daughters). While we were talking about it, a fangirl interrupts us. The following goes something like this.

Fangirl: OMG, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT FIRE EMBLEM AWAKENING PAIRINGS!?
Friend: uh... Yeah we talking about who gives...
Fangirl: (interrupting my friend) OMG I loooove pairing my unit with chrom....he is so hott...
Friend: uh...good for you...
Me: to be fair chrom does give female my unit the most kickass son for that generation.
Fangirl: huh, um no you misunderstood, I like pairing chrom with the BOY my unit, they are sooooo fucking HAWT together.

My friend facepalmed and looked like he was going to say something, until he realized I was going to annoy her at that point.

Me: Wait, what are you talking about? You can't put the two of them together, the S rank isn't available for chrom and boy my unit.
Fangirl: WELL IT SHOULD BE! I have no clue why Nintendo was so homophobic about it.
Me: But, he has a daughter from the future that's proving he is not gay. Remember Lucina? Yeah that's chrom's daughter.
Fangirl: That can be changed! Lisa and be Lucina mother!
Me: Um, no she can't, genetics don't work like that.
Fangirl (now losing patience): Are you some sort of fucking homophobe? I don't know why the hell people don't want to see a game where the guys can marry other guys!
Me: Hold on, so you're telling me every guy in the game should be either gay or bisexual? You do realize that that is as biased as wanting every single character in the series to be straight.
Fangirl: WTF HOW IS THAT BIASED!?
Me: Well every guy has a choice in life to have whatever sexual preference he wants, you need to accept many guys preference is to be straight. Also, Imagine how quickly population would die out if every single guy in the world was gay.
Fangirl: WTF!? The male seeds can be put into a woman's ovaries, it's possible to do that this game too!
Me: Thing is this is in the medieval age, where science wasn't advanced enough to discover that yet.
Fangirl: Yeah!? Well maybe magic could give the powers to make boy my unit or chrom pregnant and_

At this point me and my friend start laughing hysterically, at the same time the scroll completely loses her shit and starts Flailing her arms back-and-forth at me screaming Baka and all that good shit. Security then KMan and escorted her out for causing a ruckus. My Friend told me that he really wish he had a cam recorder with him because that made his day.

Anyways, feel free to share your real life or Internet stories. More to come from me

Edit, this is my favorite story where sane yaoi lover lashes out at them.

http://snappedchopstick.deviantart.com/ ... u-15468936

 

[Springblossom]

Here is an example of their insanity:
http://weebstories.tumblr.com/image/63741841161

I feel like if more women were like that, the number of gay teens suiciding would go way up.

Seriously, though, why are women like that? Guys don't freak the fuck out over lesbian pairings.

 

[exball]

ChrisxClyde. I ship it.

 

[Springblossom]

ChrisxClyde. I ship it.

"B-but I'm straight!", Chris weakly protested, as Clyde embraced him. "I'm not-I am no HOMO!"
Chris' protests were stopped by Clyde's lips. Chris gave up all attempts at resisting, and began to kiss back, first weakly, then with more force. As they kissed, Clyde began attempting to undo Chris' pants. As Clyde eased them off, the smell of filled the room.

 

[tobacky_vapor]

ChrisxClyde. I ship it.

"B-but I'm straight!", Chris weakly protested, as Clyde embraced him. "I'm not-I am no HOMO!"
Chris' protests were stopped by Clyde's lips. Chris gave up all attempts at resisting, and began to kiss back, first weakly, then with more force. As they kissed, Clyde began attempting to undo Chris' pants. As Clyde eased them off, the smell of filled the room.

Ever since that fateful day, Chris and Clyde became lovers. Then one day.....

Chris: Clyde dear, something is wrong...
Clyde: what is it Chris darling? *Clyde asked concerned*

Concerned if Chris was sick or not, they decided to take into the doctor. The doctor gave the most startling news, That Chris was pregnant with a baby girl. Defied all genetics but finally chris can finally have a lovely little girl with his lover Clyde whom they name "crystal"

The end.

 

[exball]

ChrisxClyde. I ship it.

"B-but I'm straight!", Chris weakly protested, as Clyde embraced him. "I'm not-I am no HOMO!"
Chris' protests were stopped by Clyde's lips. Chris gave up all attempts at resisting, and began to kiss back, first weakly, then with more force. As they kissed, Clyde began attempting to undo Chris' pants. As Clyde eased them off, the smell of filled the room.

Ever since that fateful day, Chris and Clyde became lovers. Then one day.....

Chris: Clyde dear, something is wrong...
Clyde: what is it Chris darling? *Clyde asked concerned*

Concerned if Chris was sick or not, they decided to take into the doctor. The doctor gave the most startling news, That Chris was pregnant with a baby girl. Defied all genetics but finally chris can finally have a lovely little girl with his lover Clyde whom they name "crystal"

The end.

Beautiful, fucking beautiful.

 

[Something Vague]

The yaoi fangirls I find the funniest are the ones that see real gay relationships and go "eeeeeewwwwwwww"

I find it kind of similar to the frat boy that likes the hot girls making out with each other, but an ugly or average-looking happy lesbian couple, he hates them.

There was this really good essay about yaoi and why there are good reasons that there are people that support gay rights do not like yaoi... I have to dig it up, but yeah, it's really interesting and gives a look at the genre and the stereotypes and such, hopefully my Google-fu can retrieve it.

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

 

[tobacky_vapor]

The yaoi fangirls I find the funniest are the ones that see real gay relationships and go "eeeeeewwwwwwww"

I find it kind of similar to the frat boy that likes the hot girls making out with each other, but an ugly or average-looking happy lesbian couple, he hates them.

There was this really good essay about yaoi and why there are good reasons that there are people that support gay rights do not like yaoi... I have to dig it up, but yeah, it's really interesting and gives a look at the genre and the stereotypes and such, hopefully my Google-fu can retrieve it.

Oh I know which when you were referring to. I believe this is the one you wanted:

http://weebstories.tumblr.com/post/1622 ... i-fangirls

 

[Foulmouth]

I find it kind of similar to the frat boy that likes the hot girls making out with each other, but an ugly or average-looking happy lesbian couple, he hates them.

But,but,but hawt lesbians are HAWT !!!

 

[Something Vague]

That one's not it, it was more detailed and longer

 

[random_pickle]

As a yaoi fan myself, I've seen some wierd shit in the fandom.

1.) No matter what the personality the two guys have, one is usually depicted as a femine male ( boobless shemale practically) who is whiny and submissive, while the other guy gets depicted as a macho rapist.

2.) Many yaoi fanfics and doujinshis use rape, and worse, make it look KAWAII DESU!11!!1 (I admit, even I did this in my first fanfiction, which I will never ever speak of again).

3.) The constant "Boy1 x Boy2 is totally canon! Who cares about that slut Boy1 is with, his lover will always be Boy2! Boy2 doesn't want to kill him! It's just sexual tension!" bullshit.

4.) The fact that everytime I look up yaoi from my favorite fandom, it always comes up with shotacon. What the fuck is wrong with these people?!

5.) Mpreg................just mpreg

 

[Niachu]

As a yaoi fan myself, I've seen some wierd shit in the fandom.

1.) No matter what the personality the two guys have, one is usually depicted as a femine male ( boobless shemale practically) who is whiny and submissive, while the other guy gets depicted as a macho rapist.

2.) Many yaoi fanfics and doujinshis use rape, and worse, make it look KAWAII DESU!11!!1 (I admit, even I did this in my first fanfiction, which I will never ever speak of again).

3.) The constant "Boy1 x Boy2 is totally canon! Who cares about that slut Boy1 is with, his lover will always be Boy2! Boy2 doesn't want to kill him! It's just sexual tension!" bullshit.

4.) The fact that everytime I look up yaoi from my favorite fandom, it always comes up with shotacon. What the fuck is wrong with these people?!

5.) Mpreg................just mpreg

Pretty much. Lazy and weird stuff like butchering characterization and mpreg exists and can be freely made fun of, but #2 is easily the worst. It's bad enough that no small amount of published, professional material involves it and has the couple be in sparkly love by the end. The fangirls that go out in public and latch onto/glomp/attack unwilling targets are the immature ones who invest a dangerous amount of emotional energy into their precious imaginary worlds, though the same can be said of shipping and getting stupidly angry over fictional things in general. Generally it embarrasses the hell out of the sane yaoi fans who don't push their interests on everyone.

 

[MysticMisty]

There were lesbian yaoi fangirls briefly in the anime club at college. They quit though during the second or third meeting because the club had a no yaoi rule because 1)You cannot watch anything sexually explicit or violent on campus, even in the privacy of a classroom and 2)Yaoi is too specific an interest. If you're not interested, you will never be interested and the point of the club was to share our favorite anime and try new ones. They didn't have any epic tantrums or anything like that. They just quietly argued with the club president about the rules and then left the club forever.

I did see them around campus occasionally though, and they always wore cat ears and yaoi pins. I pity anyone who asked them what yaoi was.

 

[Himawari]

As a yaoi fan myself, I've seen some wierd shit in the fandom.

1.) No matter what the personality the two guys have, one is usually depicted as a femine male ( boobless shemale practically) who is whiny and submissive, while the other guy gets depicted as a macho rapist.

2.) Many yaoi fanfics and doujinshis use rape, and worse, make it look KAWAII DESU!11!!1 (I admit, even I did this in my first fanfiction, which I will never ever speak of again).

3.) The constant "Boy1 x Boy2 is totally canon! Who cares about that slut Boy1 is with, his lover will always be Boy2! Boy2 doesn't want to kill him! It's just sexual tension!" bullshit.

4.) The fact that everytime I look up yaoi from my favorite fandom, it always comes up with shotacon. What the fuck is wrong with these people?!

5.) Mpreg................just mpreg

you forgot

6. in yaoi world EVERYONE IS GAY. EVERYONE.

seriously, sometimes I go on BL manga reading binges, even though I haaaaaaaaate the majority of BL manga (because of 1 and 2 that you stated) but the few occasional gems I find buried amidst all the shit sometimes make it worth it.

But seriously in a whole lot of BL manga it's just kind of weirdly accepted that everyone in the world is gay? Like there's one series about five(?) brothers and by the end all but one brother is boning some guy of their own. (And I don't know if there was any continuation or side story in the original novels in which the odd-brother-out ended up with some guy too but I would not be surprised.)

It's so bad that I've seen yaoi fangirls talking about how Japan is an incredibly accepting country of the LGBT crowd and that there are publicly open gay couples all over the place there and I just want to pull them through my computer screen just so I can laugh right in their faces holy shit.

I mean you rarely ever see some guy in BL manga worrying that "oh, but maybe that guy I like isn't into other guys," it's just kind of assumed that everyone is openly homosexual.

oh speaking of there's also

7) Grown gay men acting like middle school girls with crushes

cut that shit out

also can I just say that it is incredibly irritating to go to Kinokuniya to see if maybe they're carrying that one BL manga that was actually really really good and I want to buy it, only to see that their BL section is pretty much nothing but Junjou Romantica/Sekaiichi Hatsukoi? GO TO HELL NAKAMURA YOUR MANGA IS TOTAL SHIT IT SHOULD NOT BE SO EXPLOSIVELY POPULAR ALSO PLEASE LEARN HOW TO DRAW HANDS GODDAMMIT FSDJHADFH

 

[Niachu]

also can I just say that it is incredibly irritating to go to Kinokuniya to see if maybe they're carrying that one BL manga that was actually really really good and I want to buy it, only to see that their BL section is pretty much nothing but Junjou Romantica/Sekaiichi Hatsukoi? GO TO HELL NAKAMURA YOUR MANGA IS TOTAL SHIT IT SHOULD NOT BE SO EXPLOSIVELY POPULAR ALSO PLEASE LEARN HOW TO DRAW MANOS GODDAMMIT FSDJHADFH

The yaoi hands are the only entertaining things to come out of that terrible, terrible manga.

 

[The Dude]

My best friend is gay and that first story about the chick who wants a gay son so she can take him shopping and turn him in to a mincing limp wristed caricature pisses me off. Not every gay person is some BDSM loving, makeup wearing, flouncing stereotype. These girls are fucking ignorant and deranged.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Yeah, if that's the kind of gay son that chick wants, she'd know he was gay long before he ever officially came out.

Unless she's incredibly, incredibly stupid, which seems likely.

 

[CalmMyTits]

I do like yaoi, but only if it makes sense. I really love one show/cartoon, and while there's no one gay on there, I've read well-written slashfic with Male A and Male B.

But then, I've come across PLENTY of shitty slashfics. Why is it that there is always more crap than there is for good stuff? I also see the same in yuri and het.

 

[exball]

Yeah, if that's the kind of gay son that chick wants, she'd know he was gay long before he ever officially came out.

Unless she's incredibly, incredibly stupid, which seems likely.

She doesn't want a boy really. She wants a girl with a penis.