Tumblr's wicca community - Fair is foul, and foul is fair, Trigger warnings and filthy hair.

[Surtur]

Ahhh, the Pagan tag on Tumblr is a blast and a half. The Heathen and Asatru tags aren't any better, mind if I post any funny stuff I find in there?

 

[Vitriol]

Ahhh, the Pagan tag on Tumblr is a blast and a half. The Heathen and Asatru tags aren't any better, mind if I post any funny stuff I find in there?

go for it.

here are some not al all rapey spells to coerce enchant a lover:

Spoiler

Spoiler: explanation of magical theory!

Powerful Love/Admiration Spell

MOONLIGHT’S ADMIRATION SPELL

What we’re going to do here is gently draw out every good aspect of the person looking for love and/or admiration and make those aspects more noticeable to all those around them which induces attraction/admiration both physically and emotionally. I wrote this for a friend but I thought I’d share. Who doesn’t like a little extra attention?

Things You Will Need:

• Full Moon
  
  
• Monday (If Possible)
  
  
• Midnight
  

• Glass Bowl
  
  
• Small Round Mirror
  
  
• Spring Water
  
  
• 3 White Floating Candles
  
  
• White Flowers
  
  
• Tumbled Moonstones
  
  
• Deity Offerings & Cleansing Tools
  

Instructions:

After cleansing the area and taking the proper precautions, arrange a centerpiece for your altar. Use a clear glass bowl or dish and place a small mirror in the bottom of the bowl. Add water, and place three white floating candles in the dish. Surround your entire centerpiece with white flowers and tumbled moonstone.

After first invocations of your deity(ies) associated with truth and attraction (as well as the moon herself), offerings and first prayers, light the candles floating in the water. Gaze into the mirror and meditate on the reflected candlelight, envisioning the good, attractive aspects of the Centrist (the person you’re casting the spell on/for).

Now hold your hands over the bowl and start to charge the whole with abundant silver light. As you do this repeat this chant slowly while thinking of the Centrist and his/her good traits:

“Silver light of midnight’s swell
Gift this unseen child well
Make seen, what is not seen
attract the eye with silver sheen.”

Finish the spell by thanking the moon and your deity(ies), and verbally closing what you have initiated. The Centrist must keep one of the moonstones in his/her possession for three days.

How it Works:

• The full moon will give this spell more power.
  
  
• Monday is the day of the moon and perfect for moon spells.
  
  
• Midnight is when the moon is at her peak.
• The glass bowl gives a clear base that won’t block the energy you’re about to create and work with.
  
  
• The mirror represents the outward reflection of the Centrist’s good, attractive aspects.
  
  
• The water makes this spell gentle and gradual.
  
  
• The white candles represent good truth, and bringing that good truth to the surface, making it more apparent.
  
  
• The flames of the candles represents the desire to be noticed.
  
  
• The white flowers represent purity, honesty, and perfection.
  
  
• The moonstones represents love success. They also intensify and absorb the energy that the moon has given you.
  
  
• The silver light is the energy the moon has gifted you with.
  
  
• The number of days the stone is held is very important. The number 3 represents successful relationships. It will take three days of holding the stone for the spell to take full effect.
  

spirit-magick-nature
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Releasing the Hounds


Alright so the kid gloves are coming off. I do not recommend doing this curse if you are a beginner or don’t know how to summon and control entities. I mean if you choose to do this then that is on you. I hold no responbility for your actions. With that said, let us continue.

This curse is designed to summon find ghost hounds to rip apart five aspects of the victim’s life: finance, romance, family, friendship, academia. You can change these aspects as you see fit.

Just so you know, this curse is going to be divided into three parts: Summoning the hounds and appeasing them, creating the curse and enacting it.

What you’ll need: five bowls, a fire, a piece of the victim’s clothing or hair (something with their scent), a necklace.

Part 1:

• Create a summoning space around each bowl. This could be a circle drawn or an elaborate summoning sigil. I personally prefer the last. Just make sure that it will contain the ghost hounds you are calling forth.
• Create a change to summon the hounds of your choosing. Here is a sample chant “Great hounds of death, beasts from the realm of shadows - I call forth five you! Within these five spaces you shall come. By my hand and by my will, it is so.”
• Once you have brought the hounds into the spaces, you will have to appease them. To do this, give them a small offering (it could be the bones of an animal, the blood of an animal, etc). Remember, this is to satiate them. Place the offering into each bowl.
• Next, connect the summoning circles to a greater circle in the middle. Make sure the greater circle has a binding sigil drawn in the center. Place a necklace there. Make sure the necklace has been purified of all previous energy by fire and salt.
• Now connect the energy of the hounds to the necklace. With this, you are binding them to the necklace. Say a binding chant and finish the binding.
• If you don’t want to bind them, then you could try striking up a deal with them. However, I am more partial to binding.

Part 2

• Create a fire. This will be the focal point of the curse. The fire should be created by the necklace.
• Over the fire, create the curse. Draw five sigils in front of it, representing each of the facets of the victim’s life that you want to rip apart.
• Say a chant to summon the curse. Here is an example “By my hand, I call forth the great hounds to rip apart your life, for you have wronged me. Great hounds, five in number, destroy the five aspects he holds dear. Finance, romance, friendship, family, college. Watch as the hounds rip them apart.”
• Now take the piece of the victim’s hair. Wave the victim’s hair over each bowl so that the astral hounds obtain the person’s scent.
• Say “You now have the scent of he who wronged me.” Throw the object of the victim’s into the flame.
• Now it is time to give the hounds their payment. Spill three drops of your blood onto the necklace. Wave the necklace through the fire five times.

Part 3:

• To enact the curse, you are going to either have to give the necklace to the person or bury it near them.
• When this has been accomplished, spill three more drops of blood onto the ground and whisper “By my will and by my hand, I release the hounds.”

and there you go. I know its a bit long winded but here you are.


lilfairyboy
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[neverendingmidi]

And yet they mock people who pray to the Christian god, because lol those people think "prayer" is going to do something.

Now hang on, I need to mix some shit together and place my tube of lipstick on it for a month or so to charge it magically...

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

Cray Cray lady claims Wicca is the first religion.

Ahh yes, the "ancient religion" myth. My all-time fav.
Wicca is about 60 years old. Most of the things it claims to draw from are bullshit. The Celtic druids, for example, used bizarre runic markings that have never been translated (or indeed, even proven to be an alphabet), and we know next to nothing about them as few written records exist. They could've worshiped spider monkeys for all we know. Most of the religion has been adopted from 18th-19th century ideas about what ancient religions were like.
That's not to say the whole thing is invalid, mind, you can believe whatever you like. But claiming it has the same level of historical relevance as something like Judaism or Catholicism is just wholesale deception.

 

[TheAmazingAxolotl]

You know, I was expecting a thread about Wiccans, just in community watch and not Tumblr. Poe's Law just takes full effect in the tumblr variant of wicca; you've got a shit-ton of people that don't quite understand paganism pretending they're pagans just because they mumbled some mumbo-jumbo under their breath and Chad Thundercock, by whom their sexual advances were rejected, had a bad day that day means they're actual witches.

Look at a lot of the tumblr posts, the keywords for their "spells" are imagine. Imagine a pink glow emanating from your hand and flowing into the perfume bottle or some shit. It's almost as if they know it's bullshit but are trying to give themselves the benefit of a placebo.

I did laugh at "Auld Lang Syne" being an incantation. Maybe if I recite "Ode to a Haggis" at someone, it'll condemn them to a day of feeling like they're not wearing pants and their piss smelling really bad.

 

[Erica]

Decided to pop into and see some "pop culture magic." This is in case you would like to get power from things that are literally made up.

Spoiler: the amount of notes on these depresses me

But don't sneer, as us witches can be very oppressed.

Spoiler: where apparently man made electricity can replace the need for fire

Though apparently, you can be an atheist and a witch at the same time.

Spoiler: I stopped trying to understand a long time ago

 

[Steamboat_Bill]

Ahh yes, the "ancient religion" myth. My all-time fav.
Wicca is about 60 years old. Most of the things it claims to draw from are bullshit. The Celtic druids, for example, used bizarre runic markings that have never been translated (or indeed, even proven to be an alphabet), and we know next to nothing about them as few written records exist. They could've worshiped spider monkeys for all we know. Most of the religion has been adopted from 18th-19th century ideas about what ancient religions were like.
That's not to say the whole thing is invalid, mind, you can believe whatever you like. But claiming it has the same level of historical relevance as something like Judaism or Catholicism is just wholesale deception.

Those people who actually believe it's an ancient religion are crazy-assed motherfuckers; they'll tell you how people who practiced witchcraft were persecuted in the Inquisition and at Salem - of course, ignoring the fact that most of the victims were innocent Jews and Muslims/people who'd gotten on the bad side of the accusers.

 

[Vitriol]

Ahh yes, the "ancient religion" myth. My all-time fav.
Wicca is about 60 years old. Most of the things it claims to draw from are bullshit. The Celtic druids, for example, used bizarre runic markings that have never been translated (or indeed, even proven to be an alphabet), and we know next to nothing about them as few written records exist. They could've worshiped spider monkeys for all we know. Most of the religion has been adopted from 18th-19th century ideas about what ancient religions were like.
That's not to say the whole thing is invalid, mind, you can believe whatever you like. But claiming it has the same level of historical relevance as something like Judaism or Catholicism is just wholesale deception.

Most of their rituals are derived from 19th century psuedo-occult societies popular with bored aristocrats. It is not at all a coincidence Gerald Gardner had pretensions to that class and was caught lying about his background more than once. A lot of the rest of it is bastardised hindu and Buddhist concepts- chaukras etc.

Modern wicca bears essentially no resemblance to even what little we know of the ancient celtic religions. I remember staying with family out by Callanish ( a complex of druidic stones) one summer when I was a child and asking my uncle about them. He said the only thing we really knew about the druids was that they practised animal sacrifice and the archaeological evidence and roman accounts hinted at human sacrifice as well. You wont see any of that on tumblr.

We don't even really know what their gods were called; just roman interpretations made by a handful of foreigners who weren't around for more than a season or two anyway, guesses from place names and a reimagined set of legends from ireland that weren't written down until the middle ages and may be a remnant of a divine mythology but could equally be an ancestor based myth like those of the jewish patriarchs. There is literally no historical evidence at all that a female fertility goddess was particularly revered over the rest of their pantheon and the few snippets we do have focus mostly on male gods of war, hunting, thunder, death and kingship just like every other tribal european pantheon of the time.

this notion that all the various pantheons are the same 'facets of nature' is actually a distinctly Greco-Roman concept and didn't even work particularly well in those closely related systems- see the drastic differences between Mars and Ares or Saturn and Kronus or indeed Janus who has no Greek equivalent. Claiming one can use half preserved greek ideas of 'mother gaia' and a few idols which may or may not be celtic in origin to infer the existence of a sovereign celtic mother earth is intellectually dishonest.

 

[chimpburgers]

This thread is simply amazing.

I created a Community Watch version of this thread here since this one has been doing so well already.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

Why do these spergs want to use magic so much when you can do so much more with science than do these weird little things that resolve minor nuisances

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

Why do these spergs want to use magic so much when you can do so much more with science than do these weird little things that resolve minor nuisances

Because there is a magical force in the world that can fix nearly anything and solve literally almost any problem. It even comes in convenient paper form.
Problem is, getting a hold of enough of it for all the cool spells is really hard work, so they stick to staring at the rain, muttering to themselves, and smelling like patchouli instead.

 

[TheAmazingAxolotl]

Why do these spergs want to use magic so much when you can do so much more with science than do these weird little things that resolve minor nuisances

Because "magic" is an easier explanation for their autistic pseudo-witchcraft than "my hypothesis revolves around whether or not this water I boiled and left to bask in the light of the full moon will grant me the power of clairvoyance"

 

[EggGender]

Damn, I really wanted to make a thread on this myself but I was beaten to it lol.

Anyway, slight powerlevel/sperging here, forgive me, but as a person who's been researching witchcraft and wicca on online communities for a while, I can say that compared to other witch communities, Tumblr's witchcraft/wicca community is both scary and fucking bonkers. Other communities at least try to make sense of their 'magick' beliefs/ experiences with correlation to the metaphysical and parapsychological, but Tumblr's MO is basically, "if u think really hard, it'll happen!! u magical it's all about intent!! YOU are the Higher power uwu" Basically, there are rules to follow but Tumblr wiccans/witches think they're way too special to follow them and do whatever they want, resulting in everything you guys see here. The scary part,(to me, at least) is that I'm also fairly certain there are a bunch of potential crazy cult leaders amongst them, and given that the majority of these people are willing to believe that praying to a Pikachu figurine can help them fight their oppressors, I'm a bit concerned for them.

Spoiler: For example

https://archive.md/csOm3/db1d69adbd11522782acf0d9cccc7a892d745b6d/scr.png

When I first started exploring Wicca Tumblr, I came across this blogger. This person claims they are an actual Christian angel brought down to Earth to teach people about magic. They don't claim to be mentally ill and using it as a crutch or some shit, so I'm not even sure if they're aware. In 'normal' tumblr/online communities, they would've been given the crazy label and ignored, in those actuallydivine communities, for the most they'd have their identity validated by other 'actuallydivine' angels or something, but on Wicca/witch Tumblr, these people actually treat them as if they're some Divine prophet, no questions asked and soak up every single drop of 'magickal advice' this person has to offer, which not only is stupid, but potentially dangerous for obvious reasons. The ironic part, is that these folks are the same people who say stuff like "Christians are nothing but sheep who blindly follow idiots! They never question their authorities!!" yet here they are, taking potion drinking pointers from some random stranger with no known qualifications because they said they're an angel.

 

[Erica]

Inspired me to look at the "magick" tag, and the first post:

I might check up on this blog to see what actually happened in ten minutes.

 

[EggGender]

Inspired me to look at the "magick" tag, and the first post:
View attachment 67501

I might check up on this blog to see what actually happened in ten minutes.

.
You just stumbled upon a "Techno" witch, a witch who gets their power from playing with their iPhone all day. Not even making this shit up. And since my previous post was lacking in the lulz department, have some more techno witchcraft posts for all your technodevotional needs!

Spoiler: A moon prayer composed completely in C++

https://archive.md/fAtA6/69da39faef21540e7d0ec542e842a9cbe6636ae4/scr.png

Spoiler: How to charm your selfie so it can actually get notes for once!

https://archive.md/Qd6M0/a598cae6fa45f38216ba277eeb22c3b6faa358f3/scr.png

Spoiler: Spirits?? In MY phone?? It's more likely than you think

Spoiler: Emoji Spell list to solve all your problems

Too long to screencap actually, sohere's a link

 

[EI 903]

The first time one of these speds has a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal it's going to blow their fucking mind.

 

[HG 400]

You shouldn't criticize this stuff so narrow-mindedly a lot of it is grounded in reality and works.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

So many blogging edgelords claim they're pagan, it's fucking hilarious. Seems like the halfway house between boring internet shitposter and Tumblrina.

Don't want to admit to being brought up a boring church-on-special-occasions christian? Atheism too associated with right-wing loonbags for your liking? Have no fear, you too can be pagan! Grab your tie-dye and a few herbs from the local supermarket, let's go! Claim you have to cover your hair all the time, that you're polyamorous because some Celtic goddess with an unspellable surname said so, then spend a few evenings a year with candles and a glass 'crystal' in the back yard when Tumblr reminds you it's Samhain. Totes pagan, respect my religion! We're a harassed minority with ancestors that were burned at the stake, where is your white christian guilt? PAY ATTENTION TO ME I'M TOTALLY NOT A BORING WHITE PERSON.

Indigenous beliefs are actually really fascinating, but damned if you'll find any amongst the online pagan community.

 

[AnOminous]

Indigenous beliefs are actually really fascinating, but damned if you'll find any amongst the online pagan community.

Speaking of which isn't all this shit cultural appropriation?

smh kill whitey uwu

 

[Moogsy]

*~~WARNING: REAL MAGIC / POWERFUL SPELL~~*

Attention Spell: The key to success in personal business is having a lot of people who care about you and what you're doing. If you want the attention of a LOT of ppl, you can cast this powerful spell.

1: Make a magical medallion out of clay. The shape and sigils on the medallion should mean a lot to you as a person, as well as what you want your subjects to care about.

2: Record a video of yourself breaking the medallion into pieces and shoving them up your ass.

3: Make sure as many people as possible see the video as they will be instantly charmed and interested in you!

*~Blessed be <!> fair are we~*
*~Respect the spirits and fiddle de fee~*
Buy my book for more REAL MAGIC spells!