Twilight Princess -

[Heimdallr]

Has anyone played this game?

I sort of missed out on it when it came out in 2006, but it seems very good.

Better in some ways than the newest Zelda game. Any thoughts/ideas?

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

It's NOT Ocarina Of Time in the same way that a hand job isn't a blowjob. Given a choice you know which one to pick but if both are on offer then fuckin' A take both. If you've not played Skyward Sword or Windwaker I recommend playing them both first, they're a hand job with skillful ball fondling.

 

[Jacquetta]

I got it on release date and tbh, out of the Zelda games I've played (everything but Skyward Sword and Spirit Tracks) I've only enjoyed Phantom Hourglass less.

I mean in full fairness I think my file if not my copy was fucked, because it didn't matter how many bombs I used or how much I changed up the timing, I couldn't get into the Lake Hylia temple. The rock just would not explode.

At some point I intend to nab the Wii U or GC version because I have a sneaking suspicion that not waving around like a ret.ard will help me enjoy the game more and probably make me a little more capable of being objective. The main problem is I preordered it before all the delays and was so excited it was unreal, and then... well...

Spoiler: TL;DR-level Zelda sperging ahead

Like I implied up there, I got the Wii version. That was a huge mistake because the motion controls were absolutely fucking terrible, the sensor sucked hard enough I ended up replacing it with a third party sensor that happened to be wireless, and the amount of batteries I went through still makes me wince.

Anyway, I probably should have seen the shit motion controls coming, but I didn't because I think I was like barely seventeen when it came out and teenagers don't do that critical thinking thing so well sometimes. My best friend I think actually turned around and went straight back to the store to return it and get the GC version. I regret not doing the same.

I also was really unimpressed by what of the story I saw. I know there's a formula to the console Zelda games where you do three dungeons and then the real story gets going but for some reason it really fell flat with me this time. Sorta felt like a cut rate Ocarina of Time with Link to the Past elements mixed in there for me. I mean, it does seem like it gets a lot better based on the story spoilers I read when I had no idea Nintendo was gonna start releasing HD versions of the the 3D Zelda games but I still wouldn't exactly say I was blown out of the water.

This is kind of a nitpick thing, but going from Wind Waker with all of is gorgeous bright colours to Twilight Princess sucked shit. Why was the scenery so fucking brown so much, guys.

I did love the shit out of the soundtrack, though. Twilight Princess has a pretty fantastic soundtrack. And it did have some great characters!

TL;DR: listen to @LazarusOwenhart about playing Wind Waker if you haven't already done it. Skyward Sword also seems to be really great. All my friends who've picked it up highly recommend it but I haven't played it. I sold my Wii ages ago and the only friends who haven't sold theirs off aren't local.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

@Jacquetta Did you use water bombs on the bubbles? You don't bomb the rock directly, you hit the bubbles and a geyser appears which destroys the boulder. You need the iron boots and water bombs to do it.

 

[Jacquetta]

@Jacquetta Did you use water bombs on the bubbles? You don't bomb the rock directly, you hit the bubbles and a geyser appears which destroys the boulder. You need the iron boots and water bombs to do it.

Yup, that's exactly what I did. For about three hours before I gave up and decided I wasn't even going to bother making a new file, lol.

(then I sold the game a few weeks later, and most of my other Wii games.)

I mean, it's entirely possible my fine motor skills really were that bad back then but I sort of doubt it? I'll see if it goes any better if/when I get my hands on a non-Wii copy of the game, though.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

@Jacquetta The WiiU version is very good but if you're used to the Wii version it'll seem odd because its flipped. Since the original game was developed for the NGC and link is left handed they had to flip the entire game 180 degrees to make him right handed and shoehorn in the motion controls. I'm hoping they do a "Zelda" collection for the Nintendo Switch because that thing could easily run the Wii Zelda games.

EDIT: How is this off topic @Conrix ??

 

[Jacquetta]

@LazarusOwenhart I do remember the flipping was a thing, yeah. So it's probably good I haven't played it at all since... god, early 2007, I think.

I'd be really surprised if they don't do some kinda Zelda collection for the Switch since they did one for the GC. I guess there wasn't really enough for the Wii to have one on top of that but I think there's a fair case for another one now.

 

[FuckYou]

It's NOT Ocarina Of Time in the same way that a hand job isn't a blowjob. Given a choice you know which one to pick but if both are on offer then fuckin' A take both. If you've not played Skyward Sword or Windwaker I recommend playing them both first, they're a hand job with skillful ball fondling.

OOT - Masterfully performed fellatio that leaves you orgasming within a minute and wanting to experience the pain of being succ'd
MM - more of a rough start which leaves you unpleased as you feel the teeth on your dick. Toungue technique of the bitch isnt that good.. then it really kicks in and she succ's even better than the last bitch
WW - Your dick is massively disappointed for a little bit but the girl gets good.. great skills .. not enough to make u jihad but enough to keep u satisfied. One of the longest lasting succ's but the jihad at the end leaves u speechless and desperate for more
TP - She jerks you off for like 3 hours while you anticipate the succ. When it comes, you remember the OOT girl.. But sadly the current girl succing you seems to have no skill despite copying the OOT bitch's blowjob technique. Jihad is powerful but easy to pull off.. Underwhelmed.. You might call her again in a few years.
SS - She bites your dick off while trying to be seductive and girly about it. Fuck this bitch

 

[Anchuent Christory]

It's a much better Zelda game than most give it credit for. But then every Zelda game that isn't Ocarina of Time or Link to the Past is a much better Zelda game than most give it credit for.

The general rule for critiquing a Zelda game is to moan about it when it releases and then look back on it a couple of years later and say "Y'know what, that was actually a bloody good game"

 

[Heimdallr]

The visuals are stunning if nothing else.

 

[Assorted Nuts]

I think it's one of the weakest Zelda games just in general. It's a boring copy of OOT at best, an ugly cluttered mess at worst.

Maybe that's just me, I've got a handful of weird opinions about the series. Do not get me started on Link to the Past and why it's horribly overrated.

 

[FlamingPie]

A bit of a retread from Ocarina, but a good one. The combat is just as good as Wind Waker's, the dungeons from Arbiter's Grounds onwards rule and Midna is one of the better side characters in the franchise.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

A bit of a retread from Ocarina, but a good one. The combat is just as good as Wind Waker's, the dungeons from Arbiter's Grounds onwards rule and Midna is one of the better side characters in the franchise.

I disagree when you say the combat is as good as Windwaker and would genuinely love to know why you think it is?

 

[FlamingPie]

I disagree when you say the combat is as good as Windwaker and would genuinely love to know why you think it is?

I like the use of the hidden skills such as the Shield Attack, Helm Splitter, etc. I think it gives Link a bit more variety in taking out enemies.

 

[melty]

I think it's one of the weakest Zelda games just in general. It's a boring copy of OOT at best, an ugly cluttered mess at worst.

Maybe that's just me, I've got a handful of weird opinions about the series. Do not get me started on Link to the Past and why it's horribly overrated.

OK I'm genuinely curious. LttP is my favorite but I know a lot of that is nostalgia goggles.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

I like the use of the hidden skills such as the Shield Attack, Helm Splitter, etc. I think it gives Link a bit more variety in taking out enemies.

I agree with you the hidden abilities are a nice twist but I find the combat in TP is far less fluid than WW. In WW the moves flow together seamlessly and if you get a rally going and are clever with your shield and targeting you can clear a room in seconds without a hit. In TP link always seems to need to recover his footing after a move which makes the combat disjointed.

 

[Assorted Nuts]

OK I'm genuinely curious. LttP is my favorite but I know a lot of that is nostalgia goggles.

Link to the Past is a very competently made game, but there's enough little things wrong with it that I think makes it pale in comparison to most other games in the series. I'm going to be comparing it to OOT or Link's Awakening in quite a few places as I fell those games do most of what LttP does only better.

The movement feels bad, man. Instead of tight controls Link moves like he's covered in grease and can't get any traction. Even the way his sprite moves conveys this, you can see his feet are moving faster than the run speed indicates.

Combat is unsatisfying and feels more like an annoyance than a challenge. I don't enjoy poking at enemies with an incredibly dinky sword and watching them vanish in a puff of smoke. OOT and LA have larger, clearly defined sword swings. Enemy deaths are also more satisfying. In OOT there's that loud crunch sound whenever the final blow is dealt and in Link's Awakening they fucking explode.

Boring world and NPCs. Nobody in LttP has any personality, they all talk to Link like they already know him and you learn nothing about them. Like, this guy is in a side quest in OOT for about two seconds and he has a more interesting personality and backstory than anyone in LttP. Except maybe the Flute Boy, but that isn't saying much. Most games make Link an outsider to the wider world, which makes it natural to want to learn about all of the people. In LttP he lives right in the middle of the map and everybody in Kakariko already knows him. There's no better example than comparing the Maidens of LttP to the Sages of OOT.

The music isn't that great. Entirely a subjective opinion, but the score doesn't click with me. I especially thought the dungeon theme got old really fast. OOT did this better by having a unique, atmospheric track for each dungeon that was memorable, but unintrusive.

The big chest with the dungeon item every time got stale. The other Zelda games do this better by usually giving the dungeon item to a unique mini boss.

Fuck Skull Woods.

This is probably the most nitpicky of them all, but I don't like the world map. Seriously. It's so detailed you can see individual aspects of the landscape. Really takes away from the mystery. It's much better in games where the map fills in as you go. Isn't it weird to enter a whole new dimension after beating Aghanim only to have a highly detailed map of the region?

Jesus, that was longer than I expected. Sorry if I got a little spergy.

 

[FlamingPie]

I agree with you the hidden abilities are a nice twist but I find the combat in TP is far less fluid than WW. In WW the moves flow together seamlessly and if you get a rally going and are clever with your shield and targeting you can clear a room in seconds without a hit. In TP link always seems to need to recover his footing after a move which makes the combat disjointed.

Interesting. Not that I think about it, this could easily apply to Ending Blow. I have Twilight Princess for the Wii U and I could look at it (after I finish my current runs of Paper Mario and Resident Evil 4), just to see how disjointed it is, then move on to Wind Waker for comparison.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

Interesting. Not that I think about it, this could easily apply to Ending Blow. I have Twilight Princess for the Wii U and I could look at it (after I finish my current runs of Paper Mario and Resident Evil 4), just to see how disjointed it is, then move on to Wind Waker for comparison.

I will say that the WiiU version is a lot better than the Wii because it doesn't have the janky motion controls. That being said I remember the GameCube Version being less fluid as well and my first experience with the game was on GC so maybe they tweaked it a little.

 

[Rap Scallion]

I tried giving the game a few chances but I could just never get into it. The washed out colors and choice of soundfont (sounded like the same soundfont as Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance, which was pretty lousy) were probably my least favorite things about it, and it ended up having quite a different vibe from the beta that was advertised (I distinctly remember a scene where a giant skulltula chased Link through the woods that was removed from the final game).

I think the wolf shit was the biggest no-sell for me, the stuff with the collecting Tears of Light (which was repeated in Skyward Sword, why) was tedious. The horse combat was frustrating as well. Midna annoyed me because I feel like excessive emphasis was placed on her. I mean, I know she's the titular Twilight Princess, but I just could not find her likeable/relatable. Ultimately I think the shitty soundfont was what ruined this game for me because it felt so lacking compared to Wind Waker and even earlier entries in the series.

I've watched a few friends play it and I think it's slightly more enjoyable from a spectating position, though.