Interests Twitter 1/30 - Chris's D&D sheet -

[TheOnlyYamchaFan]

Yeah, I thought as much. That also means Chris wouldn't be able to find players for yet another reason, instead of just being Chris

and with what @Some Manajerk just said about the math making chris flee in terror: i can see chris being another stereotype at the gaming table: the player who never bothers to learn anything about the game.

Chris: I want to attack the goblin. How do I do that?
Player 2: you use your attack bonus.
Chris: ... *stares blankly at his character sheet*
Player 2: here.*points on his sheet*
Chris: I KNEW THAT!
DM: okay, roll to attack.
Chris: what dice do I use again?
DM: The D20.
Chris: Which one is that?
Entire table groans since this has happened every single attack chris has made thus far and shows no sign of retaining information.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

In some ways, it makes you wonder if Chris may not be more suited to something like an old-school Vampire The Masquerade campaign, where story-telling and character interaction were - at least in theory - more the idea of game-playing than dice rolls and rule lawyering.

However, you'd still have to put up with Chris insisting that he's a beautiful and highly artistic Toreador lay-dee, and that (including, no doubt, his attempt at a classy-yet-sexy female voice) would still put other players' teeth on edge.

 

[horrorfan89]

Actually, my first thought when I heard that he was going to learn D&D was that some trolls were going to teach him an outdated version of the game like AD&D, 3.0, or 4e. I love AD&D, but it'd be hilarious to have chris only master a version of the game that's not exactly easy to find anymore. Chris spends a lot of time learning what THAC0 is only to find a D&D game, sit down, and realize his character sheet is not like the other players and has to relearn everything. Autism galore.

I'm honestly surprised Chris hasn't bought rare aka expensive copy's of the 80s version game books or minitures and set pieces and bragged about how they're as old as he his. Kinda like what he did with those happy meal transformers he bought off eBay a while back and sperged out over them.

 

[Do You Realize]

I’d love to see him play in L5R with something like this. A culturally rigid environment based on Medieval East Asia where non human characters had better stay the fuck out of the city or risk being murdered by every single person around them and the ever looming threat of the Taint is present all over the places which makes you mutate and go insane. Then again he’d very likely try to say his character was a sibling of one of the Kamis or something and immune to the Taint and any DM Worth his salt would make it so every NPC in the entire game was trying to murder Chris for being a sacreligious abomination disrespecting ancestors and tradition. If he got good enough rolls and managed to hold out he would eventually cause the Emperor to call all the Great Clans together to fight him, and Chris effectively causes world peace as everyone in the game tries to kill him.

Brilliant because "Taint" involved with Chris. I'd actually want to watch this happen.

 

[Antipathy]

In some ways, it makes you wonder if Chris may not be more suited to something like an old-school Vampire The Masquerade campaign, where story-telling and character interaction were - at least in theory - more the idea of game-playing than dice rolls and rule lawyering.

However, you'd still have to put up with Chris insisting that he's a beautiful and highly artistic Toreador lay-dee, and that (including, no doubt, his attempt at a classy-yet-sexy female voice) would still put other players' teeth on edge.

If I ever play VTM, I'm going to play Mister Bombardini, who was an old 4chan post about some guy shitting all over Mary Sue wish fulfillment vampires with his morbidly obese nobleman who loved (to eat) children.

Alternatively, I will ruthlessly mix slang from 1500 to 1900 in my speech and create the Gordon Ramsey of vampires, constantly flipping his shit in ye olde slang about how everyone is DOING IT WRONG and needs help in preparing a proper meal.


Remember: the end goal of any TTRPG is just to have fun by making a character and roleplay. That's where Chris fundamentally cannot get about D&D, or VTM or Dark Heresy or Delta Green or so on (although Chris would fundamentally not be able to play any 40k or Lovecraft based TTRPG by nature of the setting). He always wants to play himself, or what he thinks himself to be, or what he wants himself to be, and not have fun creating a character and then unleashing that character onto the world.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Looks like he got to play after all:

 

[horrorfan89]

Looks like he got to play after all:
View attachment 1167255
View attachment 1167256

Wow there's just so much to unpack here.... firstly who was stupid enough to allow Chris to play with them? As @TheOnlyYamchaFan said the only point to inviting him to play would to break his spirit and torture his hideously op hombrew abomination of a character.


Second we all know the meaning behind that second tweet...he thinks tommorow he'll wake up not as a 38 year old fat Autistic tranny slob, but as a 16 year old magical goddesses girl and anyone who doesn't agree with that or believe what he does will be left behind and not merged with him

 

[Super Colon Blow]

How long before we have another satanic panic when the other people in his game start killing themselves?

 

[TheOnlyYamchaFan]

"NPC ranger who is now in foreground."
So he was given a premade ranger, but bawwed when he saw he wasn't going to play his OC sonichu, and the DM let him mix and match it for an AD&D session. Honestly, that's the part that's funny. Teaching chris an outmoded D&D game which no one else normally plays. I guess chris had to learn what THACO means. Even better, AD&D is far more merciless than 3rd, or 5th edition. Much easier to kill chris's OC.

Wow there's just so much to unpack here.... firstly who was stupid enough to allow Chris to play with them? As @TheOnlyYamchaFan said the only point to inviting him to play would to break his spirit and torture his hideously op hombrew abomination of a character.

I think that's the reason these guys are playing him in AD&D. For example poisons in 3rd and later editions do ability damage. Poisons in AD&D are usually save or die. Much more lethal monsters and traps, and a lot more class restrictions.

This is as close as throwing chris into the deep end of D&D as it gets. Its only a matter of time before chris kills himself and flips out.

 

[horrorfan89]

"NPC ranger who is now in foreground."
So he was given a premade ranger, but bawwed when he saw he wasn't going to play his OC sonichu, and the DM let him mix and match it for an AD&D session. Honestly, that's the part that's funny. Teaching chris an outmoded D&D game which no one else normally plays. I guess chris had to learn what THACO means. Even better, AD&D is far more merciless than 3rd, or 5th edition. Much easier to kill chris's OC.


I think that's the reason these guys are playing him in AD&D. For example poisons in 3rd and later editions do ability damage. Poisons in AD&D are usually save or die. Much more lethal monsters and traps, and a lot more class restrictions.

This is as close as throwing chris into the deep end of D&D as it gets. Its only a matter of time before chris kills himself and flips out.

Eh if that's the intention then good on these guys for messing with Chris in a way that's not complete weinery

If it turns out they're legit doing this to enable Chris and his ego then to hell with the lot of them

 

[TheOnlyYamchaFan]

Eh if that's the intention then good on these guys for messing with Chris in a way that's not complete I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT ME

If it turns out they're legit doing this to enable Chris and his ego then to hell with the lot of them

I hope video of these games surface, or we get info from the other players/DM about chris's character.

 

[Vendetta]

I can't tell if he's going for a war cleric build or what. Why would he need a crossbow?

 

[Tikbalang]

How long before we have another satanic panic when the other people in his game start killing themselves?

They end their suffering

 

[Male Idiot]

Honestly I can see him finding a group made of sjws with their own super speshul OCs from twitter. Do we know he played IRL or online?

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

He doesn't really say a lot about the actual game, does he? Considering how enthusiastic he claims to be about it, you'd think that he'd mention at least something about the plot, his character beyond the vaguest details, the other players' characters AT ALL, what sort of encounters/threats there were...this is all on the level of a seven-year-old kid writing for a school assignment 'I went on holiday and it was good'. Fuck's sake, Chris, be a bit more interesting.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

He doesn't really say a lot about the actual game, does he? Considering how enthusiastic he claims to be about it, you'd think that he'd mention at least something about the plot, his character beyond the vaguest details, the other players' characters AT ALL, what sort of encounters/threats there were...this is all on the level of a seven-year-old kid writing for a school assignment 'I went on holiday and it was good'. Fuck's sake, Chris, be a bit more interesting.

Just be patient, we know the TSSSF cards are coming.

 

[TheOnlyYamchaFan]

He doesn't really say a lot about the actual game, does he? Considering how enthusiastic he claims to be about it, you'd think that he'd mention at least something about the plot, his character beyond the vaguest details, the other players' characters AT ALL, what sort of encounters/threats there were...this is all on the level of a seven-year-old kid writing for a school assignment 'I went on holiday and it was good'. Fuck's sake, Chris, be a bit more interesting.

I noticed that too. Its possible he's saving that for his Discord chat, but like @TrippinKahlua said we're gonna start getting pictures and rants about his character and the D&D game on twitter. Chris can never keep his OCs and him separate so he'll start telling us all about the monsters he's slain.

I can't tell if he's going for a war cleric build or what. Why would he need a crossbow?

It was probably part of the starter item kit you get in 5th ed

Honestly I can see him finding a group made of sjws with their own super speshul OCs from twitter. Do we know he played IRL or online?

knowing chris's fear of online interaction, it was likely IRL. And it has to be trolls playing it because I cannot for the life of me see any blue haired SJW picking up an AD&D book. They're typically filthy casuals who got into D&D through 4th or 5th edition.

 

[Some Manajerk]

It was probably part of the starter item kit you get in 5th ed

I don't recall any of the classes off the top of my head that start you with a hand crossbow. most of the ranged starter weapons are either short or longbow, or your choice of one simple/martial weapon. You'd have to deliberately pick it, which just adds to the theory "chris just grabbed something that sounded cool without thinking about it."

 

[Sir Joahim Browinson III]

And it has to be trolls playing it because I cannot for the life of me see any blue haired SJW picking up an AD&D book.

I hope you are right about that.
As much as don't like That Guys in tabletop games, I really wanna see how this will turn out, with more details no less.

 

[ANobody]

Honestly based on the lack of details on the session, Chris might have just lied to seem like he has friends