Twitter 4/14 - Chris makes up new OC to spite Cole Smithey -

GhostBird50

a marvel of science gone wrong
kiwifarms.net
Compared to other cows bizarre and extremely specific fetishes, like fucking dragons or cartoon horses, mazophilia seems very normal.
throw dwarfs into that mix as a fetish because she only stands at 4 foot 11 inches shes, not even 5 foot. I'm not kidding your avg person with dwarfism at max normal is at 4 foot 10 inches as an adult.
 

Tikbalang

Wear your shirt inwards out
kiwifarms.net
Chris has the habit of drawing himself as sonic fanart and some re-tarded children, but now he's too lazy to draw the character that he just type the description on twitter
To be fair, when has personality ever mattered to chris?
There are only three personalities in Chris's world:
  • Good: People who give compliments on Chris or Chris likes those people (Tara Strong and MKR)
  • Neutral: Generic people in general and Chris has mixed feelings on those people (Genosamuel, Pewdiepie and Bob)
  • Bad: Cole and the Trolls
 
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SpeedBaller

kiwifarms.net
Lol it's funny because nobody would give two fucks about Cole if he wasn't the bastard offspring of Barb/Half brother of Chris. And yet Chris's mind exaggerates Cole's "success."

I mean yeah, he wrote a negative review of Toy Story 3 but what else has he done?
I'd say his biggest accomplishment is escaping 14 Branchland Ct and making a career for himself and having a seemingly normal life despite having an awful redneck whore for a mother who lied to him repeatedly about the identity of his true father as well as apparently an awful stepfather in Bob. The fact he left the home at 17-18 without any semblance of support from his family and became a positive contributor to society (at least as a taxpayer) is fairly admirable.

The truth is, we know very little about Cole. His online presence makes him appear to be smug and sanctimonious but those are traits that are intrinsic to the job of being a critic. There are lots of people who have little or no internet presence that have made hundreds of millions or billions and made huge philanthropic contributions to society but we would never know.

It will be interesting to see what happens to Chris and Cole's relationship when Barb dies. Cole clearly loathes his mother for obvious reasons and understandably shouldn't give her a penny. I think Chris is burning his bridges with his family when he talks smack about them to thousands of people while begging for money. If he were to shut up, he might actually receive some sort of support or at least reconciliation with his family after that witch Barb bites the dust.
 

Stephanie Bustcakes

This is what Chris actually believes
kiwifarms.net
I'd say his biggest accomplishment is escaping 14 Branchland Ct and making a career for himself and having a seemingly normal life despite having an awful redneck whore for a mother who lied to him repeatedly about the identity of his true father
How do you know she lied about the identity of his father? Cole suspects his real father is Yeates, but I'm not aware of any evidence that he really is besides his middle name being Coleman, which is a big stretch.
 

Unknown beast

*angry Meat noises*
kiwifarms.net
How do you know she lied about the identity of his father? Cole suspects his real father is Yeates, but I'm not aware of any evidence that he really is besides his middle name being Coleman, which is a big stretch.
well barb was married to yeates and not the man she said was coles father (and lied about it)
we have no solid proof but a lot of circumstantial evidence
 

Silver Octopus

kiwifarms.net
Kinda peculiar that every womyn in the cwcville universe has at least D-cup breasts.
Chris doesn't understand cup sizes at all.
He claimed to have D size moobs back in 2015, ask him today and he'd probably say he's got G or H size tits.
He probably thinks D cups are the standard for women, probably because everything he thinks he knows about women; he learned from porn.
 

SpeedBaller

kiwifarms.net
How do you know she lied about the identity of his father? Cole suspects his real father is Yeates, but I'm not aware of any evidence that he really is besides his middle name being Coleman, which is a big stretch.
Well there are the marriage and divorce papers that Cole tracked down with a PI that match up with his birth and he tracked down his supposed father Jack Smithey who was in Florida and apparently denied ever being married to Barb and we can assume also denied being Coles father by the wording of the email.

Chris also eventually states that Coles Dad is some drunk guy named Randy in the Sarah May chats:

[8:11:22] Christopher C.W.C.: HE knows who his parents are; our Mother, Barbara Chandler, and some drunk guy named Randy. (As in Ran Coleman Yeatts)

Also given our knowledge of Barb and what a shitty person she is and what promiscuous whore she was in her time, it is not surprising she lied or might not know.

Without a DNA test we won't know for sure and for all we know it could be some other random guy she fucked.

I doubt that. Even if he were to shut his mouth, Chris is just too insane to have around unioronically.
I only meant that Cole might have at least been willing to reconcile with fatty in someway even by as little as corresponding with each other or maybe help him out occasionally.
I agree that fatty is too gross and uncouth to be tolerated by any somewhat normal individual.
 
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