Twitter 8/5 - Chris's stressful day (is blacklisted from Papa Johns; kicked a cop car after causing a fender-bender) -

Fapcop

kiwifarms.net
That’s one thing you gotta appreciate about Chris... He’s always been very diligent in letting his trolls know exactly what works and what doesn’t, and which button to press.

Mighty considerate of him, to let his I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT ME know that their time and effort has brought results!

And yeah, calling in pizzas is hardly the most original tool in the trolls toolbox, but it did give us this little treat, so I’m not going to complain!
 

Apteryx Owenii

formerly a jerkop, wants to avoid merge
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
A few people mentioned kicking a cop car being a felony, it's probably not. Generally kicking a cop car, unlike kicking a cop, is technically no more serious a crime than kicking a non-cop car. Vandalism would be the common violation. Maybe they could tack on some sort of 'disruption of official business' type charge but it would probably also be a misdemeanor.

No, the reason you want to avoid kicking cop cars over other cars is they often have cops around them who will fuck your day up if you kick their car. Which makes me think that either CWC was kicking a tire as someone said or he did it when they weren't looking.

He got away with it and wasn't charged.
It is possible for the police to charge someone without arresting them, particularly in a case where the crime in no longer in-progress; if this were the case Chris might think he got away with it for now. I don't think this is likely to be the case, though... more likely they just believed that he didn't know he had hit the vehicle because he's a dummy.
 

Muscle Bra

I passed high scholl bitch!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
As much as I make fun of Chris and all that crap, ordering pizza to his house is stupid. If you paid for it so they'd deliver it, congrats, you gave fatty more free food. If you didn't pay for it, then Chris and Barb would refuse to pay and the poor delivery man and rest of the restaurant would waste their time and money.
Do places still deliver food without receiving payment in advance? I can’t remember the last time I had food delivered that didn’t require me to give them a credit card number.

Nice to see that Chris is still kicking things he doesn't like, like the child he is. KICK DA HEXBA...uh, I mean KICK DA COP CAR! KICK DA COP CAR! KICK DA COP CAR!
To say nothing of America’s favorite game...

I don't think this is likely to be the case, though... more likely they just believed that he didn't know he had hit the vehicle because he's a dummy.
I have no idea how the state of Virginia would handle this but, given the amount of fender benders and hit’n’runs with which Chris has been involved, is there any chance that the state would refuse to allow him to renew his drivers license?
 

LoveYouLongTime

kiwifarms.net
Do places still deliver food without receiving payment in advance? I can’t remember the last time I had food delivered that didn’t require me to give them a credit card number.
Pizza places still allow orders without advance payment to appease the people who want to pay in cash. Considering pizza bombing is a thing you would think they would wise up and just make everyone pay first.
 

Zebedee

Providing mental diagnosis to e-famous degenerates
kiwifarms.net
I've been having a rough time. This made me smile. I don't think Chris will ever realize his true value.
Be thankful he doesn’t, as I f he ever did gain some self awareness, that very same value would disappear quicker than a w.ee.n could shout ‘Julay’.
 
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Apteryx Owenii

formerly a jerkop, wants to avoid merge
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I have no idea how the state of Virginia would handle this but, given the amount of fender benders and hit’n’runs with which Chris has been involved, is there any chance that the state would refuse to allow him to renew his drivers license?
You need a fair amount of points to get your license suspended in VA. I think a more likely outcome would be that the insurance company would jack his rates or cancel his policy.
 

Super Colon Blow

Does she have big thingies?
kiwifarms.net
Do places still deliver food without receiving payment in advance? I can’t remember the last time I had food delivered that didn’t require me to give them a credit card number.


To say nothing of America’s favorite game...


I have no idea how the state of Virginia would handle this but, given the amount of fender benders and hit’n’runs with which Chris has been involved, is there any chance that the state would refuse to allow him to renew his drivers license?
Papa John's accepts payment in cash on delivery.
 
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Reactions: Muscle Bra

Fapcop

kiwifarms.net
I can honestly see his CPU goddess taking over a $50,000 Tesla
Oh Lordy! A Tesla would, ignoring the price tag of course, technically be the perfect car for Chris. No liquids to top off, no oil to change. Zero maintenance. Except for maybe the tires, which Chris would ignore just like on a regular car.

The absence of a gas bill every week would also fit his tugboat to a T.


On the other hand, I doubt that neither Chris nor his fellow drivers would be very safe with him and Magichan behind the wheel of a car that accelerates this fast.

What would undoubtedly turn Chris and Tesla into a hellacious ball of fire, would be the autopilot though.

Chris would get in the habit of saying: “Magichan? Hubby? You want to drive?” And then turning on the Autopilot so he can sit and play on his iPhone instead.

Totally ignoring when he’s supposed to take over, and crash into a firetruck or a broken down vehicle on the side of the road.


Papa John's accepts payment in cash on delivery.
Every takeout joint that want to do business near a Martin Luther King Blvd does though, no?



Well it wasn't a significant one, but it was still a cop altercation and it's evident Chris really will need a caretaker when Barb is gone.
Like, he attacked a police car...

That’s probably a slightly optimistic take. What would he need a caretaker for?

To sit and stare wordlessly into the air while praying to the great hoard in the sky to take her to where Bob is, like Barb probably did?


Barb has checked out quite a few years ago, and barely seems to have the strength for more than an occasional court visit these days.

Chris probably does more or less what he wants to (Which, granted, isn’t a whole lot) while Barb just nods and mumbles “Ok”.
 
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AnOminous

FIST FUCK
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
A few people mentioned kicking a cop car being a felony, it's probably not. Generally kicking a cop car, unlike kicking a cop, is technically no more serious a crime than kicking a non-cop car. Vandalism would be the common violation.
Most states distinguish between kinds of vandalism, with some vandalism rising to the level of a felony depending on what kind of property it is. For instance, in Minnesota, it's a felony if it's a marked police vehicle. Most places, including Virginia, it isn't, and becomes a felony if the damages are over $1,000. Virginia also specifically lists "monuments" relating to the "War Between the States."

Every takeout joint that want to do business near a Martin Luther King Blvd does though, no?
Some want a credit card even if you're paying in cash, and all of them insist on you coming outside to pay. They're not going into some building they may not come out of again.
 

Apteryx Owenii

formerly a jerkop, wants to avoid merge
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
wow i wonder what Chris and Barb will do when their van dies, from what i understand it's their only car and they share it. Their credit must be shot after all those debt hearings. no dealership will give them a loan.
They might actually get a loan from a dealership of some sort. Ever see those commercials that advertise that they don't care about your credit, they'll put you in a car? Often they'll find ways to do it. They don't mention that they'll charge you interest of 15%-22% and repo the car at the drop of a hat leaving you with nothing but pockets empty of tardbux.

It would also invariably be shitty used car that starts to break down almost right away.
 

Optimus Prime

Resident KF Transformers Expert
kiwifarms.net
Oh Lordy! A Tesla would, ignoring the price tag of course, technically be the perfect car for Chris. No liquids to top off, no oil to change. Zero maintenance. Except for maybe the tires, which Chris would ignore just like on a regular car.

The absence of a gas bill every week would also fit his tugboat to a T.


On the other hand, I doubt that neither Chris nor his fellow drivers would be very safe with him and Magichan behind the wheel of a car that accelerates this fast.

What would undoubtedly turn Chris and Tesla into a hellacious ball of fire, would be the autopilot though.

Chris would get in the habit of saying: “Magichan? Hubby? You want to drive?” And then turning on the Autopilot so he can sit and play on his iPhone instead.

Totally ignoring when he’s supposed to take over, and crash into a firetruck or a broken down vehicle on the side of the road.
Chris would be too preoccupied by the fact Teslas have sound projecting whoopie cushion effects.
 
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