Ultimate Christmas holiday smash - things you should do that are easy


True & Honest Fan
Easy yet for some reason nobody does it.


Homemade eggnog is a guaranteed hit, since hardly anyone ever bothers to make it. Which is surprising since its relatively easy to do once you know what to do. The store bought shit ain't got nothing on the real thing.

I find Alton browns recipe to be the easiest to follow, and its quite good too. Just do steps 1 through 3. Cooked egg nog is for pussies who don't want to add generous amounts of alcohol to the cocktail (and eggnog IS a Cocktail)


Quick explainer for what you need to do here. I recommend doubling the recipe for starters. What is on offer for here will give 5 people one drink each. And who wants just ONE? You will need a Punch Bowl to do this btw, we are talking 4 cups of milk, 2 cups of cream and a alcohol. Use a mixing bowl for your egg whites. Crack the eggs over the mixing bowl, and separate the whites and the yolk. Whites go in mixing bowl, yolks go in Punch Bowl. Separating is easy too. Just crack the egg over the bowl so the yolk is sitting in the bottom shell and the egg white is dribbling in. Throw the top shell away and then pour the entire contents of the bottom half into your opposite hand. The egg white will start to slip through your fingers. Just pull on it and it will slip right off the yolk. Put the yolk in the punch bowl. Repeat until you have all your eggs separated.

Set the egg whites aside and follow the mixing instructions in the recipe using the punch bowl. Sugar into yolk, then milk, then cream, spices then booze, etc. Don't follow booze instructions either. Light it up. Its a cocktail, not a milk drink. Justify it by saying the alcohol will kill any bad things that may be lurking in the raw egg. don't worry if the spices clump. Egg whites will fix that. Once the punch bowl is mixed, beat the egg whites. You can use a standard whisk or even a fork if you want. Its all in the wrist. The goal is to turn the egg white into a foam. You will know you are done when the mixing bowl is filled with foam and no liquid egg white is visible. Pour the egg white foam into punch bowl mixture and mix it GENTLY. They will add a great texture to the drink, and also finish binding all the flavors of the alcohol and spices. Serve in a tumbler and garnish with a dusting of cinnamon or nutmeg. Pumpkin Pie Spice mix will work too.

For Alcohol I use Bourbon and Brandy on a 2 to 1 ratio of Bourbon to Brandy. You can add a hit of vanilla extract too if you want.


Everyone has had ham. But they have not had whole country ham. This is one of those rare delicacies that people have heard of in passing but have never experienced. And its a shame because country ham is amazing. Its basically a ham that has been salt and smoke cured for months and kept in dry storage. It has an intense flavor and a texture that is entirely unique.

Best instructions are here.


Water cooking is for pussies who don't want the full experience. I prefer the oven method. Soak the ham for an entire day, changing the water every 4 to 6 hours or so. This will rehydrate the fats and so on and is an essential step. After that you want to get a big ole roasting pan and put some liquid in the bottom. You can use water, but the pros use coca cola or doctor pepper. No lie. 20 minutes a pound at 300 degrees until you get an internal temp of 160. These hams are finicky. Meat thermometer is not optional. You may end up burning the rind on the outer layer. Don't panic. What is inside is what counts and its a salt lick of awesome.

Serve the ham with Colemans English Mustard or a pepper salsa. Any kind of Chutney is good too.

Anyone interested, I usually get my ham from these dudes.


They mail em.
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True & Honest Fan
You buy ham in the mail?

Wild right? Country hams are shelf stable. They put em in a vacuum seal bag. The one we are eating this year has been sitting in my closet for the last 3 months.

You just gotta make sure the seal holds though. If it breaks mildew can grow on the rind. Hilariously enough the ham is STILL good if that happens. Just scrape it off, cook it, and seperate the outer layer like you would a bad onion. But nobody has time for that.