Updating Old, Terrible First Posts -

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Flowers For Sonichu

2nd Team all-confefence in Kick the Autistic
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Some of our older threads have classic lolcows that still provide tard cum years later, but they have very terrible and uninformative OP's along the line of "ever heard of this guy?" accompanied by a link to their ED page. In the past, we had a much lower standard when it came what constitutes a good lolcow thread. With our ever-increasing userbase, it's beneficial to update these threads so newer users can be informed and updated on them.

So, if a cow is near and dear to you and you think they deserve a better OP, post it in this thread along with a link to the OP and I or another staff member will update it and give you proper credit. Maybe @Null could make a trophy out of it or something.

Here is an example: Mylarballoonfan. He's personally one of my favorite lolcows.

This was the OP. It was terrible, uninformative, and made over three years ago by someone who was eventually banned for sexually harassing female users and being a sperg in general:

At my request, @chimpburgers graciously rewrote the OP to make it more informative and provided some videos for context:
Mylarballoonfan is an old school lolcow that has been around for years, making videos about his various fetishes and interacting with his friends like CoolDudeClem. He's went so far as to buy an overpriced Bratz TV import just to satisfy his bizarre obsession with Bratz dolls. One of his other quirks is having a rabid hatred for specific decades like the 1980s or the 2010s and making tons of rant videos about it. He goes by other names but on this site, we prefer to call him Sammy and he's been one of our pet lolcows by far. Speaking of this site, he also has an account here and in the past has sent a lot of angry PMs to people who have called him out and neg rating them in response. Although he is not as active here as he was before, the chimpouts he provided those times under his @ILoveMylarBalloons account were still quite funny.



ED page on him lists a lot of his different accounts and alt names if you're interested in learning more about this cow.

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/MylarBalloonFan

There's even a Mylarballoonfan Archive for all your MylarBalloonFan needs and classic moments from this cow. @January Cyst runs the page and does an excellent job archiving the videos that he churns out and is someone I consider to be one of the experts on this cow in this thread.

http://www.dailymotion.com/franklinnealgarrett

Pissing Mylar off is also really easy. Just insult his Bratz doll obsession or call him out on his other bullshit and he will get angry right away.

Now enjoy some of Mylar's great content both from the past and present. I think these videos are a good way to get a feel for Mylar without having to get that deep into him.

 
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CatParty

Boo
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What about newer threads as well? I love @CatParty but he makes shitty ops as an example as well as a few others.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/bob-mckim.18655/

Though at the time Bob was pretty new, so I can't exactly blame him on that one.

Yeah I had nothing on him at the time. I just saw his videos and knew he needed to be seen by everyone as soon as possible. I even admitted I was sorry I didn't have more info. Props to @Durable Mike Malloy for getting us started down the road to tons of crazy fun
 

Yaks

Beware of young girls...
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

MediExcalibur2012

kiwifarms.net
Some of our older threads have classic lolcows that still provide tard cum years later, but they have very terrible and uninformative OP's along the line of "ever heard of this guy?" accompanied by a link to their ED page. In the past, we had a much lower standard when it came what constitutes a good lolcow thread. With our ever-increasing userbase, it's beneficial to update these threads so newer users can be informed and updated on them.

So, if a cow is near and dear to you and you think they deserve a better OP, post it in this thread along with a link to the OP and I or another staff member will update it and give you proper credit. Maybe @Null could make a trophy out of it or something.

Here is an example: Mylarballoonfan. He's personally one of my favorite lolcows.

This was the OP. It was terrible, uninformative, and made over three years ago by someone who was eventually banned for sexually harassing female users and being a sperg in general:



At my request, @chimpburgers graciously rewrote the OP to make it more informative and provided some videos for context:
This will be a nice feature

There should be a list of people that make shitty threads here as well

Like not this one; this is a good thread :P
 

PolexiaAphrodisia

Life just kills me. Do you have any pot?
kiwifarms.net
Margaret/Margo, Venus Angelic's Mom
[youtube]NLSCXRnjMGk[/youtube]

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Venusangelic

Discuss.


Margaret Palermo is the narcissistic, manipulative, and unstable stage mother and ex-manager of Venus Angelic, a YouTube personality known for her distinct “living doll”, pseudo-Japanese style. Originally from Hungary, Margo moved her daughter from country to country several times before eventually settling in South Korea. While ostensibly the travel was to further Venus’s career as a model, it has been theorized that Margo’s parenting style came under fire in several countries - she insisted on homeschooling Venus and kept her extremely socially isolated, and also shared a bed with her.

In addition to controlling the content of Venus’s videos, often times encouraging her to be more sexual or perpetuate Japanese stereotypes by using a high-pitched “kawaii” baby voice, Margo insisted on sharing every bit of attention. The Palermos were featured on the American television show “My Strange Addiction,” where in one disturbing scene Margo interrupts one of Venus’s photoshoots to twirl around wearing her daughter’s dress.

An article appeared in a British women’s magazine featuring Venus…yet told entirely from Margo’s perspective. Margo had apparently written the article and sent it into the magazine without being contacted. Venus looks incredibly unhappy in all the photos.



Margo’s personality and control over her daughter can be very clearly seen in this interview, where she insists on speaking for Venus and verbally attacks the interviewer when he calls her on her bullshit. Margo claims that Venus is incapable of understanding basic questions, mocks her when she does not answer a certain way, and covers the ears of her teenage daughter to talk about such revolutionary concepts as “feminism”.


Margo originally defended her daughter’s every action fiercely, to the point of looking insane. She would use Venus’s social media accounts to harass and bully other models with a similar look to Venus, including YouTube dancer KimonoTime and XiaoRishu, a girl whose only crime was defending Venus from people who called her a weeaboo.



Notably, she posted a photo of a gyaru fashion icon to Instagram, called her “weird”, and bragged that she had been desperate to get a photo with Venus. The woman she had photographed found the photo, was understandably pissed off, and attempted to clarify what had happened – only to get a shitstorm of abuse from Margo about how “I’ve never heard of you,” “you looked homeless,” “now you attack me here,” “I don’t pose with money between my legs in a car”, etc.


In addition to bullying and harassing others, Margo also likes to stir up drama on Instagram by threatening to kill herself. According to Venus, Margo would often threaten her with this to get her to do whatever Margo wanted of her.



Due to her interest in Lolita fashion, Venus was invited to Japan by a man known as Mr. Yan, the owner of a brand of Lolita clothing called Bodyline who is notorious for hitting on potential brand representatives and trying to convince them to marry him. Of course, he proceeded to make advances and proposals to Venus. Margo was doubtlessly disappointed that they had lost a free ticket to live in Japan, and later encouraged Venus to meet up with a Japanese male fan of hers called Manaki who made efforts to go to the same locations Venus visited in Japan. Venus and Manaki hit it off, and began to date and got married very quickly. Two weeks later, any videos of Venus’s mentioning her “boyfriend” had been changed to “Ex-boyfriend”, prompting many fans to wonder if they had split up. Venus/Margo tried to pass it off as “He’s not my boyfriend because he is my husband now!” However, in reality, Venus had fled Korea to live in Japan with Manaki and escape Margo’s psychotic hold, and Margo – who still had control over Venus’s YouTube account – had changed the titles herself. Ever since then, Margo has gone from fiercely and rabidly defending Venus’s every move to continuously slandering her.
Edit: corrected the timing of the my strange addiction video
 
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Luminous Being

Triangle
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Update for https://kiwifarms.net/threads/brianna-wu-john-flynt.16461/

There's a lot of stuff already in the OP of the first thread and this is my first try at writing anything close to a concise dossier on a cow, so if it's shit don't use it or use it and make it better.

I'm used to technical writing so I'll probably leave out a lot of stuff I'd consider superfluous and just add a few keynotes. Mhh...

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First Thread: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/brianna-wu-john-flynt.6034/

brianna_and_john_animated.gif


[wiki=Brianna_Wu]Brianna "John Walker Flynt" Wu[/wiki] is a [wiki=Brianna Wu#Exposure]failed[/wiki] [wiki=Background_Check_Incident]human[/wiki] [wiki=Brianna_Wu#Brianna_The_Art_Thief]being[/wiki], [wiki=Brianna Wu is John Flynt]tranny[/wiki],"video game designer", [wiki=List of Brianna Wu's Lies]terrible liar[/wiki] and all around [wiki=Brianna_Wu_as_a_Harasser]unpleasant person[/wiki] that attached xirself to the Gamergate hubbub to gain e-fame and appear relevant. [wiki=Brianna_Wu's_Harassment#Crash_Incident]She also pretty much killed her dog.[/wiki]

She is also married to [wiki=Frank_Wu]Frank Wu[/wiki].



The only thing Wu gained by jumping into the middle of the GG drama was people taking notice of her and checking her background, which is something Wu would love to not happen, because almost every accomplishment she cites, ever story she tells, some persons she claims to know or have work for her and every though she has are at the very least embellished if not outright fabrications and figments of her imagination.

Wu's only claim to fame is a [wiki=Revolution 60]horrible iOS "game"[/wiki], only talked about in hushed whispers when Wu is listening, that is currently not available to buy anywhere and has been rumored to receive a port to PC/Steam VERY SOON (read: never ever being released) and aforementioned forced involvment in Gamergate.

Outside of not doing anything regarding Revolution 60 Wu is also good at not doing anything when it comes to "trans activism", a self-proclaimed passion of hers. All that is ever accomlished by Wu is talking over trans people, talking over people that have actual stories to tell and taking up space and time whenever she's anywhere close to persons that actually matter.

Wu's real interest lies in [wiki=Brianna_Wu's_Harassment]being a victim though[/wiki]. The most prominent example of jerking off the harassment angle was Wu's appearance on the [wiki=The_Internet_Ruined_My_Life]SyFy channel[/wiki], a day that made many Kiwis remember times long since passed.


Other than that Wu can be found on her Twitter @spacekatgal all day, talking about inane shit, lying about her life and accolades and also lying about her knowledge when it comes to programming and technology. Speaking of Wu's tech knowledge, the has also contributed to the writing of a book called [wiki=Women_in_Tech]Women In Tech - Take Your Career To The Next Level[/wiki], which is hilarious if one considers that Wu has no tech career and has to constantly lie in the chapter attributed to her to seem interesting. Many of the lies in her chapter completely contradict not only lies in the same section of the book but also ones that Wu told elsewhere.

In summary it can only be said again that Brianna Wu is a sorry excuse for a human and waste of of space.

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That's way less than I anticipated. Maybe someone padd it with some images!

Other than that, rip it apart lol.
 
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