VACATION DAY 1 + EXERCISE UPDATE!!!!!! 07/31/19 -

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L_I_F_T_E_D

kiwifarms.net
VACATION DAY 1 + EXERCISE UPDATE!!!!!! - 7/31/2019 (Day 43 of this 100-Day Nightmare)

Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch things so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

- The timeline officially jumps BACK to Pillow Mountain and BEFORE the candy scarfing, as they haven't left yet. More talk about Necky's appointment (which is why she's not in the video glued to Hamber's immense side just yet.)

- More fucking bullshit about her "therapeutic coloreen". The INTRODUCTION of the "new marker set". And it came with FREE PAPER PAD! (But she won't use it, because it involves creativity. Just slap down those pre-drawn mandalas and let her waste the precious time she has left before DYEEEN of her rampant unspoken health "situations"!) And a FREE GLOVE! (That almost certainly won't fit her hamhock paws!) And a FREE BAG!

NONE of this is "free" if you PAID for the markers - it's a "kit" that was likely in the description! You're getting NO special treatment here, narc! You even posted the fucking Amazon listing showing it's a FUCKING PACKAGE DEAL OH MY GOD WORDS MEAN THINGS YOU DUMB BITCH!

- "Why am I putting my face in them?" (Because your default instincts at this point in your life are to either shove everything to your face or shove your face to everything.)

- Hamber is officially outside now and wearing "makeup". Necky is getting "her fan" (because between the two of you, it's certainly going to be used on Necky only and not at all your "dainty" lard-valanche situation).

- "Don't. Judge." (YOU ARE BEING JUDGED IF YOU PUT YOUR MOONFACE AND WORD DIARRHEA ON THE INTERNET YOU BRAINDEAD BEHEMOTH)

- She is sad that they have to leave Twinkie Storr at home. She has "seperation problems". (That's called gravitational pull.)

- GAS STATION. Hamber is craving foods they can't get in BFE, like "Meditteranean" food. (No, Hamber - Cheesecake Factory's Orange Chicken is FULL OF GREASE, not FROM GREECE.) She's loading up on beef jerky for dat protein - not at all for dat sodium. And a Diet coke - the only time you'll likely hear the word "diet" in this entire VACATION SITUATION.

- "Sorry for the beeping" (Because Hamber is unable to turn off the ignition and this is Necky's best chance to air out a LITTLE bit of HAMBERSTANK accumulating through this drive)

- More blathering nonsense about DepresshunLynn preventing this trip. FFS shut your blabhole and get on with the rest of this bullshit video.

- More reminders of how much Hamber hates Kentucky, but finds everything outside of Pillow Mountain to be gorgeous. ROCKS AND TREES, Y'ALL!

- THE BEASTS HAVE ARRIVED. Floor 9. Hamber is afraid of heights (I would ALSO be afraid of plummeting through nine floors when the floor gives out if I were that weight.) Her duffelbag somehow broke (it has also given up on life - strange how many things in her world recently have ALSO given up and died of their own volition).

- "Ninth floor - that's scary!" (Oh, a number on a FLOOR is scary, as opposed to the number on the SCALE that you don't show because you're afraid to admit how large it is?)

- Did she randomly exclaim "Big Bertha"?

- "Y'all - I'm laying on the motherfucking BED! It was TORTUROUS getting up here!" (So how is this different than any OTHER day, you cow? Good thing you immediately got over your fear of "unwashed hotel sheets" in order to relieve yourself from the minimal STANDING and WALKING you were forced to do to get from the car to this room! Was THAT the "exercise update"?)

- "We ordered food!" (NO SURPRISES HERE.) Let's see what her "Meditteranean food" order is! Chicken kebab with VEGGIES and rice! (FUCK YOU, DOCTOR! HAMBER IS FINALLY EATING VEGGIES!)

*ALERT* UPCOMING VIDEO OF "EVERYTHING HAMBER ATE ON VACATION" IMPENDING!

- Hamber is very excited about going to Target.

- Watching a movie called "Greta"! (Another thing YOU ALREADY DO AT HOME THANK GOD YOU PAID SO MUCH MONEY FOR A HOTEL ROOM TO DO THE EXACT SAME BULLSHIT!)

- Hamber shows off the bathroom lighting, which we already saw thanks to that Target 90's Nostalgia video. (Fuck this timeline. Fuck it in Hamber's gargantuan ass.)

- It's a shower you don't have to lift your feet to get into! (Still doubtful it can handle her girth since the door to the actual bathroom looks to be smaller than her wideness. Willing to put money down that of the hours and hours of hotel-room footage we'll be subjected to over the next few days of uploads, there will be zero mention of visibility of post-shower Hamberlynn.)

- More showing off of what on a normal plus-sized person would be a DRESS but is worn as a SHIRT for ThunderGuntLynn.

- Disgusting window footage, plus beetus-riddled hands pawing at the curtain. *retches*

- FREE EARPLUGS! (Necky can stick them in her nostrils as Hamber rapidly stenches up the hotel room!)

- Plug for some Bath & Body Works lotion. (Why bathe when you can just "bathe" yourself in something LESS stinky? That entire tube would not be enough to cover the massive surface area of all that chubbBBB.)

- Hamber claims to be "sitting in a chair" when actually only a portion of her ass-shelf looks to be legit on it - the portion that fits on the half of the chair NOT guarded by arms. (Like, you SERIOUSLY have to lie about SITTING IN A CHAIR to fool your followers into thinking you're somehow "normal-big" instead of "super morbidly obese" that you ALSO claimed to be in a video that technically happened in the future from this video I FUCKING HATE THE TIMELINE MINDFUCKERY)

- "I haven't been ||exercising|| but I have been moving more" (I used '|' to represent her air-quotes because of the size of her sausage-fingers)

- FLASHBACK TO APRIL FUCKING 7TH to show her "moving". Complaints abound. Claims she isn't "trolleen". Two days ago, walked 1:16, and now can walk 1:22. She used to be able to manage TWO fucking minutes. You're not trolling - you're DYING. WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? (wastes 40 seconds on old footage)

- FLASHBACK TO APRIL GODDAMNED 24TH to show her "moving" again. Made it to 3 minutes!

- Claims she's so much better than that now. Her breathing problems are JUST because she's "over 500 pounds", but she's not as much "in pain" from the sheer act of being upright and supported by her LEEEYYYYYGS. She shows a stopwatch of 3:13, which we're all totally going to believe she accomplished off-camera.

She records every fucking minute of her trolling lard-laden existence, but the ACTUAL things people request to see, NAH Y'ALL NO SUCH LUCK I DIDN'T RECORD THAT.

TL;DR: Hamber does all the things she does at home, but is not at home. Time is as meaningless as counting calorees.

edit: JUST noticed that Hamber and Necky had to ride the elevator SEPARATELY, due to space limitations, weight capacity, or BOTH.
 
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Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
Or Amber's been pawing at the windows with her greasy trotters, since we know she has to touch everything.
It's that or Becks has been licking them. Could go either way.

She's been riding on the elevator? Becky too?

Time to start watching the Kentucky news for an elevator accident that killed two landmasses and a poor blind man who had no idea what he was walking into.
And their luggage and the luggage rack. I'm sure the hotel staff had the paramedics ready to go on speed dial.

[ETA: Sorry @emspex for being a double posting shitlord.
 
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SmileyTimeDayCare

kiwifarms.net
If it is a Hyatt Place as has been speculated its about 114$-ish dollars a night. Not too sure how that rates on a scale of expensive or not but I would expect my windows to be clean for that price. Not too sure how long they stayed but honestly I would have preferred an air B&B just for the funky aesthetic some of those places offer but as per usual we have to do everything as basic bitch gorl/ American consumer as possible. No desire to see historical sections of the city, or eat food that isn't from a restaurant chain.

Makes me sick.



Isnt there a rhyme about being wider than a bathroom door frame...

Fatty fatty two by four
Couldn't fit through the bathroom door?
She's staying at the Hyatt Regency.

Carpet, chair(RIP) and bathroom match pictures on the internetz.

I believe the room they are in is going for $179 a night. Which makes it not even the most expensive hotel in the vicinity.

Not to powerlevel but when I travel(for vacations) I go a little low on the hotel because I'll probably be out doing things. AL knows damn well her ass is constructing Pillow Mountain Site B on that fucking bed.

Just spend the extra $20-30 for the next step up hotel wise. I mean $180 isn't cheap but she's acting like she's staying The Pierre or Plaza. She's in a GD midrange chain motel. That's just AL though isn't it? Everything is Cribs...every purchase of hers is the fucking Hope Diamond and every minor struggle is the human fight versus nature.

Editing for the picture. Not friendly enough for our whorl I guess.

lolgetrektal.PNG
 

ThisWillBeFun

kiwifarms.net
Look how wide she is. At what point is she considered a dwarf planet?View attachment 868838
I really want to know what she sees when looking at herself in a mirror or while editing.
What is computing in her pea sized (the only small thing about her) brain when she sees this image?

Does her brain magically make her see a dainty 110 pound woman in a skater dress? Is her brain is so screwed up, she doesn't see what we do?
Good God, she is the size of a car. She is fatter than ever. Over the 600 pound mark & I bet she's still gaining. Just think of the massive amount of food she must be consuming.
IRL she must be frightening to see.
 

Dutch Courage

Curious Onlooker
kiwifarms.net
Naysayers can say what they want. Our gorl "moved" for 7 more seconds than she did on April 7, and even a small progress is good progress.

If she keeps it up, she will move an extra 22-23 seconds per year. So, at this rate, in 60 years, she ought to be able to move for about 20 minutes at a time.

Another scaleless victory!
 

Peetz's Bank Account

Down the drain since high school
kiwifarms.net
I have heard of people going on vacation for wine tasting, or to visit the best Michelin rated restaurants in the world, but I have never heard of a vacation just to be closer to fast food.
Lots of fatties do that. There are a lot of obese rural families who go about an hour or two away for the weekend because there is a small city where there's a shitty amusement park and chain restaurants like Cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden, Hardee's and other shit that they don't have back home. They spend the day eating and farting around at the shitty amusement park, and buying a bunch of shit they don't need especially when they only live in a double wide trailer. Although on second thought, Amber's even fucking worse. She doesn't even leave the room, they probably get all their food delivered via DoorDash or Postmates so she doesn't have to move. Amber goes to the hotel so she has clean sheets for a couple of days and can eat all the chain restaurant food she wants.
 

Strawberry Pocky

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
kiwifarms.net
She's the type of person you see get on the lift and instantly you look for a reason to catch the next one, I also have to wonder if the bag carrier was just an excuse to have something to lean against so she could make the long and dangerous trek to their room.
Bold of you to assume there would be any room on the lift to squeeze in next to her at all.
 

StrawberryDouche

kiwifarms.net
She looks dead. I’m aware that we say this every goddamn day, but it’s especially bad in this video. Maybe it’s just the Tucky hotel lighting accentuating her jaundice & lack of giving a fuck.
Her eyes are noticeably sunken in recent videos vs progressively fatting themselves shut previously. My personal theory is that the more her brain shrinks, the resulting vacuum space is sucking her eyeballs in.




And it doubles as a feedbag!
 

Haesindang Park

kiwifarms.net
edit: JUST noticed that Hamber and Necky had to ride the elevator SEPARATELY, due to space limitations, weight capacity, or BOTH.
Holy shit man... I didn't think I would live to see or even hear that this was even possible.

Lots of fatties do that. There are a lot of obese rural families who go about an hour or two away for the weekend because there is a small city where there's a shitty amusement park and chain restaurants like Cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden, Hardee's and other shit that they don't have back home. They spend the day eating and farting around at the shitty amusement park, and buying a bunch of shit they don't need especially when they only live in a double wide trailer. Although on second thought, Amber's even fucking worse. She doesn't even leave the room, they probably get all their food delivered via DoorDash or Postmates so she doesn't have to move. Amber goes to the hotel so she has clean sheets for a couple of days and can eat all the chain restaurant food she wants.
So I suppose that gyms should open in these small cities to get these rural fatties to workout no? The problem with these rural obeasts is that they think lazing around at home and eating is comfort to them but real comfort does not involve eating. To many people, spending the entire days exploring outside in a touristy area, attending festivals, or even going to conventions to late night when they finally get to rest would be actual comfort but that is assuming that they are not obese. Something to note that a lot of rural fatties are on prescription opioids, aka painkillers, because of their severe obesity causing pain on their LAYGS at least as a result from their lifestyles. If I were a doctor, I'd tell them that before they pick up the fork, what do they want to eat and what can they do afterwards so they don't spend their lives taking opioids to deal with pain while they're struggling with being mobile due to obesity. Not to mention, I'd encourage them to ask themselves if they're eating because they're hungry or they're eating because they're bored once they touch the fork.

EDIT: Oh hey I came up with an idea for a new silverware product; inscribe "Are you hungry or just bored?" on them!
 

Chihiro

kiwifarms.net
I think they had to take separate elevators for weight issues mostly what is the usual weight capacity of an elevator? Is it 1000 lbs? lets be generous and say that amber is 570 and idc what anyone says becky is closer to 350 than they admit...that is 920 and lets add roughly 50 pounds of luggage...yeah...that's dangerously close to weight capacity if its 1000. Yikes.
 

whammy

I’m Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife.
kiwifarms.net
Excuse you, she is a big YouTuber and you have no idea how hard her job is. You should be grateful that she even bothers giving you all this quality content, boo boo.
um, yeah, boo boo. her job is different than waitresses or cops or doctors and surgeons who have to stand on their feet all day. her job is more mentally exhausting.
 

Dry Gorl

Thoughts slip in my mind like maggots on a train
kiwifarms.net
Gotta love how she recycled that old ass footage from April to make her video more than 10 mins.

And inserting random bullshit like the markers. NO ONE CARES! She has absolutely nothing to make videos about, because every day is the same and being housebound isn't exactly thrilling, so she keeps splicing random bits that make no sense with no order whatsoever.

Soon she'll run out of material and the audience will get bored, so she'll have to do a juicy layg reveal. She's already using her monstrous body to make money - and she knows it - why else would the thumbnail feature a clickbait full body shot? Hamber, you could buy thousands of markers and millions of mandala coloring books, not to mention live in the Hayatt for a year if you did that video. Your laygs are worth a lot of views, gorl, so think about it.
 

ChubbyChaser

kiwifarms.net
AL's timeline is so frustrating. Why not just release the videos in chronological order?? We already know they're over a month old. We've already seen the inside of the hotel room. We saw the markers in the ASMR video THREE weeks ago.

Sad thought, AL has probably never been to a concert has she? She mentioned Ariana Grande is coming to town in November, bet she'd love to go. But she can't walk that far to get into a venue and sure as shit can't fit in a seat.

Can we be so lucky as to have another broken Scootypuff at Target situation??

Can she actually fit in that shower at all? The door looks too small to squeeze through for her.
 

clusterfuckk

My soul was empty...so I ate 2 ramens.
kiwifarms.net
Look how wide she is. At what point is she considered a dwarf planet?View attachment 868838
Fucking imagine looking like this and flaunting it all over YouTube and BEING PROUD.
Imagine it!
I have second hand embarrassment for her.
not really i dont give a fuck about the cunt.

This is once again an example of how the world has no shame any longer.
 

Madam Spergwell

moist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
and the beds. since the chair was wide and it is Kentucky maybe they are used to needing heavy duty furniture to support Slaton like guests. But still AL is beyond the average obese weight so there are these struggles...
Becky... f u Becky help me get on the bed.
This is one of my favorite clips from MSHPL. Ya buncha bastards! But Al's videos would be so much more interesting if she did film things like this instead of pretending to be dainty and minimizing her daily struggles.
 
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