Skitzocow Valerie Jade Salter / valeriejade1 - Batshit insane

[Flowers For Sonichu]

I've been following this individual on Twitter for a while and I held off making a thread on her because I thought there is no way this woman is real, but I did a little bit of digging and holy shit she's a real Gale Schuler tier crazy person.
Here she is accusing Trump of having sex with her when she was and some other dude of violent rape

Don't trust people who own multiple flashlights

Here's her screaming in the void at some dude

She's in love with Edward Snowden but doesn't see him as marriage material

Also Keanu Reeves

Here she is claiming that Evan Perez, a journalist of South American descent, is actually Korean and she lost her virginity to him.

She's fat because she's afraid her brother will rape her if she loses weight

Here's a big old text wall of blasphemy

Spoiler

Before what I assume was a severe mental break, she was a bit of a socialite in Southern California

http://0.jothere.com/L8IPUB/JIT_arc...e/members/14536661/Chome_HTML_only_LKN4TH.htm
http://archive.md/91yfT

https://www.meetup.com/OC-Good-Life/events/31947452/
http://archive.md/7kL5N

Here is her writing a passionate defense (in all caps) of Snowden in the comments section
http://www.columbian.com/news/2016/nov/19/letter-snowden-deserves-firing-squad/
http://archive.md/2KGD8

She's been arrested before
http://roseburgmugshots.com/profile/2799705/valerie-jade-salter-1/
http://archive.md/Cda1I

Twitter: https://twitter.com/valeriejade1
http://archive.md/THWUS
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/ValerieJades
http://archive.md/5bd2v
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/prettykittyjade/
http://archive.md/qlbkJ
Youtube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCp42FAjKcq87FED9YcbJjwQ
http://archive.md/Im9AS

 

[PsychoNerd054]

I'm a little suspicious of the whole oral rape thing she described. How do you lose half a cup of blood that fast and not die?

Jesus had super long toe nails and black feet. His sandals were flip flops that he bought in the super market and they were made of leaves and rope. Jesus employed Mary Magdalene to do his nails for a small fee and a blowjob. Jesus later had pretty feet.

Bless you!

 

[Iron Lady]

Finally a thread on the proving ground that I don't have to nitpick for the eleventh time to have all links at the bottom, thank you. While I like that you have a little bit of everything, it's not enough. First, this thread it's mostly images, and VERY BIG ones. The only spoiler you have is because you wanted to have like 10 images on a row because you couldn't be bothered to just read it and TL;DR that sh1t for anyone else. Those videos you have up aren't archived.

First sentence must tell why the lolcow is interesting or note-worthy, not you explaining that you have crippling anxiety and held off on this one because you weren't sure if you should do it. I know you follow-up on the next one, but there's a basic bitch guide that our greatest leader Null did not that long ago. The OP needs a more clearer and in-depth WRITTEN introduction or general info, not just images for lol's and a single spoiler for a chain-tweets. Also spoilers, because you know, a lot of big images that take up space for no clear reason. The videos must have archived version, and there's 2-3 interesting tidbits that you decided to simply copy/paste that link and give barely any info.

This needs to be proofread a bit, organized and properly categorized, and hopefully, add more information. There's clearly potential, that's for sure.

 

[SpessCaptain]

Finally a thread on the proving ground that I don't have to nitpick for the eleventh time to have all links at the bottom, thank you. While I like that you have a little bit of everything, it's not enough. First, this thread it's mostly images, and VERY BIG ones. The only spoiler you have is because you wanted to have like 10 images on a row because you couldn't be bothered to just read it and TL;DR that sh1t for anyone else. Those videos you have up aren't archived.

First sentence must tell why the lolcow is interesting or note-worthy, not you explaining that you have crippling anxiety and held off on this one because you weren't sure if you should do it. I know you follow-up on the next one, but there's a basic bitch guide that our greatest leader Null did not that long ago. The OP needs a more clearer and in-depth WRITTEN introduction or general info, not just images for lol's and a single spoiler for a chain-tweets. Also spoilers, because you know, a lot of big images that take up space for no clear reason. The videos must have archived version, and there's 2-3 interesting tidbits that you decided to simply copy/paste that link and give barely any info.

This needs to be proofread a bit, organized and properly categorized, and hopefully, add more information. There's clearly potential, that's for sure.

While your advice is sound and true, I recommend that you leave these conversations with staff members in the future; this is grade-a backseat moderating. FFS and Zedkissed are using this as a place to draft their thoughts and this isn't a final product.

I agree with the whole "sell your lolcow" at the start and hiding the images, I mean its content but I think written word and explaining why they are lolcow worthy is better.

 

[Iron Lady]

While your advice is sound and true, I recommend that you leave these conversations with staff members in the future; this is grade-a backseat moderating. FFS and Zedkissed are using this as a place to draft their thoughts and this isn't a final product.

I agree with the whole "sell your lolcow" at the start and hiding the images, I mean its content but I think written word and explaining why they are lolcow worthy is better.

Fair enough, sorry if I sounded like a sped.

 

[SomethingWittyandBadass]

She seriously sounds like a crazy person.

 

[Abortions4All]

I love classic paranoids. Without medication, this will get worse until we finally have the female John Bulla. More, more!

 

[Turd Burglar]

@Flowers For Sonichu, if you need some help with research, let me know! I've been interested in her since your post and have been going through her Twitter. It is some potent shit.

 

[Tramadol]

Can't imagine what she acts like in person, She's crazy enough online.

 

[Frogasm]

How do you lose half a cup of blood that fast and not die?

the average person donates more blood at a blood drive than she says she lost. losing half a cup of blood could make you woozy if you have other medical issues but its not gonna kill you on its own.

 

[CreamyHerman’s]

Good good, reading those tweets makes me feel grateful that I don't have a Twitter.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Sorry Melania. Whatever your operation was, I hope you recover quickly. Just know that they forced me into two abortions. The people all around me were really mean and didn't want me to have a baby for myself. They only wanted me to take care of other children. It isn't fair

There's 15k posts of this shit? Jeez, who has the time to go through it all. I don't know how anyone is willing to follow these people who post reems of shit a day, doesn't it destroy their feeds?

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Quite crazy.

You're being watched sheeple!

Détails
She put the word "NAUGHTY" in School Girl and Professor Pub Crawl...

I have brought her back by popular demand...so please help me welcome her back to make her hostess debut for:

" BAD SCHOOL GIRL AND DIRTY PROFESSOR

PARTY NIGHT"!!!!!

Make some noise for Miss Valerie "Jade" Salter who will make it happen the only way she knows how!!!

* " BAD" School Girl Contest (Male judges needed... DON'T BE SHY!!!)

* " DIRTY" Professor Contest (Female judges needed... DEFINITELY NOT SHY!!!!)

MEN: Please dress your best as a Professor and be intelligent as you are!

WOMEN: Wear your "naughty" short little school girl outfits... NO BRAINS ARE REQUIRED!

*MEET HERE AT 8:00 PM FOR SOCIAL, D.J. DANCE PARTY STARTS AT 9:00 PM!!!!

ALL DANCERS COME AND GET YOUR GROOVE ON AND IF YOU'VE LOST YOUR GROOVE...WE WILL HELP YOU GET IT BACK BEFORE THE NIGHT I

S OVER!!!!

TO ALL THE PROFESSIONAL " PARTIERS", YOU KNOW THE DRILL: SINCE THERE IS NO COVER CHARGE...NO DRINK SPECIALS!!!

(Contest winners will receive a complimentary bottle of wine and the experience of your life!)

NILOO TREAT (She inspires me!)

CALLING ALL COUPLES!!!! GET DOWN & DIRTY!

Contest for all Couples:

Do role playing of your favorite fantasy, use vivid imagination and please make believe "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" in your special relationship.

* For ideas on your presentation, you may rent the video "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (jolie and pitt) and view the kitchen movie scene!

CAUTIONARY NOTE:

PLEASE ACT RESPONSIBLE!
(We are in public!!) RUMOR HAS IT OTHER COUNTIES WANT TO GET IN ON WHAT'S HAPPENING AT THESE MEETUPS!!! WELL COME ON DOWN, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!!!!

(LA, San Diego, Riverside, up and down along the coast including the mountains are open to this invitation!)

PLEASE NO HATERS!!!!

We are a group of happy-go-lucky people looking to have good clean fun times...

WE'LL MEET U HERE!!! Lots of love!!!! TONS OF FUN!!!!! Party on dudes!

(Newbies come and say "HELLO" please!!!)

"BRING YOUR DANCING SHOES!!! COME TEAR UP THE DANCE FLOOR WITH ME, BABY !!!"

"I'LL BE WAITING HERE FOR YOU!!!!"

("MEET ME AT 8 P.M. AND DON'T BE LATE! LOVE YOU!")

*Actually, we cannot guarantee this lady will be here, but this sure is a lovely picture...is it not????

PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR RSVP NOW!!!!!!!!! See ya!

https://www.meetup.com/fr-FR/OC-Good-Life/events/31947452/

 

[Portajohn]

Looks like she found this thread.

(archive)

 

[Lunete]

She seems like the kind of person who films random cars driving by her house and accuses them of stalking her.

 

[Null]

Bump.

 

[Coin Ops]

She's like Pamela Swain from an alternate reality.

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

Did he fist her throat with spiked knuckles? Or is he really that well hung?

Losing that much blood from being orally raped is some really perverted guro hentai shit. Get some normal fetish to brag about or something.

 

[ConspiracytoLaugh]

Looks like she found this thread.
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Oof. I’ve never seen anyone on here so crazy they think Kiwifarms is one person.

EDIT: Apparently she has a daddy dom fetish too (sorry for mobileposting)

 

[Vyxenn]

Looks like she found this thread.
View attachment 549698
(archive)

Any explanation as to why she's not in a psycho ward?