Video 1/7 - Eli shows off Runescape Parkour (also fuck Judge Judy) -

[lynx]

 

[Shrekolas Cage]

Of course, he does it by filming the computer screen.

Things of interest:
-He and Jace did a sort of trade, with Jace using Eli's Xbox and Eli using Jace's computer
-Doritos are, according to Eli, too expensive
-Noobs are bitches
-Eli doesn't get welfare
-Doesn't know why Jace gets welfare, says "I don't know, autism?"
-He plans on faking a disability to get welfare
-Judge Judy is fat

 

[Abby]

I have faith that Eli could successfully 'pretend' to be disabled.

 

[Amo Bishop Roden]

This is probably the best title for a Deagle Nation video yet
thank you Eli

 

[KatsuKitty]

What is it with these guys and Judge Judy? If Jace and his friends were actually a show, Judge Judy would be like that one thing they keep slipping in references to.

Also, Eli's jokes are fucking hilariously terrible. "Judge Judy is so fat that, like, she was buying all the fuckin'....Doritos and like, the cops stopped her and now she can't eat like any more fuckin' Doritos."

 

[Centipede]

"There goes maximum destruction... that's basically... what I do to pussy... haaaaah"

"Judge Judy is like a fat tree... coz if you hit her with an axe... she'll fall down... haaaah!"

Eli's complete lack of self-awareness is his funniest trait.

 

[ChuckSlaughter]

Of course, he does it by filming the computer screen.

-He plans on faking a disability to get welfare

Someone tell Eli I'm pretty sure he can get a little welfare if he just works only a few hours a week or something. He doesn't need to mess up his life making an ssdi claim jeez.

 

[KatsuKitty]

Someone tell Eli I'm pretty sure he can get a little welfare if he just works only a few hours a week or something. He doesn't need to mess up his life making an ssdi claim jeez.

TANF doesn't cover single men for the rest of their life.

 

[ChuckSlaughter]

TANF doesn't cover single men for the rest of their life.

Yeah, but couldn't he get a $100 - $200 dollars of food stamps if he works like 10 or 20 hours a week somewhere and then talks his parents out of making him pay rent if he hasn't already? I was under the impression that if you're a working poor adult you're pretty much set most places but I could be wrong.

If he can work 20 hours 8 dollars minimum wage at mcdonalds or goodwill and swing 200 in food stamps, get his parents to leave him alone, he'll be living almost a 30/k year lifestyle but my experience with food stamps is somewhat limited.

I personally think it would be a good idea for them to sell some deagle nation merch. They could do medals and challenge coins, coffee mugs, stickers, t-shirts... it's kind of a cool logo actually. Some of this requires upfront money but kiwi farms seems pretty generous sometimes, I'd be willing to help, deagle dad seems sort of helpful and could provide the organization skills that they seem to lack.

 

[blackie toy]

But Judge Judy is pretty much the skinniest TV court judge. She's fuckin' tiny.

And... the closing message...

Spoiler: I Can Get The Government 2 Pay Me Wel Fare 2 Be A DISABLED DJ

Oh, Eli. That's not how disability works. That was a sick remix though.

 

[Germanicus]

I don't think that being lazy and retarded entails welfare entitlement.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

I think I love this kid.

 

[Enig]

I don't think that being lazy and retarded entails a welfare entitlement.

The United States of Americlapistan

 

[Amo Bishop Roden]

Eli is on a roll

 

[herpes]

As of the end of last month, Eli does in fact have a job.

Eli finally found a store that would take him,and hes going to be a janitor at Hannafords now so we will actually have income.

I wouldn't be terribly surprised if he's already lost it for whatever dumb reason but getting fired is also the sort of that these guys usually complain about openly so who knows. I'm gonna assume Eli is employed until we hear otherwise.

If Jace is getting $900 a month from his SSD and Eli is working even part-time at minimum wage, they could hypothetically live semi-decently off of that but it would require some intense budgeting I doubt either of them is capable of. As for his plan to get "welfare," it typically takes years for SSD claims to be accepted and the process is definitely far too much work for him. Getting disability bux from the US government is a very drawn-out and involved process even for those who actually need it, let alone some scummy stoner kid. If someone were to research the right stuff, they could fake a mental illness, brain damage, or something of that nature for SSD, but it'd still take a very long time, involve a lot of work, and in Eli's case, I doubt his ego would permit him to fake something "gay" like depression or a traumatic brain injury and I doubt he has the acting chops or intelligence to properly and consistently feign a physical disability.

Spoiler

Also fuck Eli. social security fraud isn't a joke okay

I was under the impression that if you're a working poor adult you're pretty much set most places but I could be wrong.

The issue is that even if somebody gets food stamps and whatnot, they're still impoverished and still face the same problems and risks associated with it, namely unforeseen expenses. If someone receiving government assistance has a fall and breaks their leg, not only are they potentially out of work for weeks/months and making even less money than they normally do, but now they also have medical bills to contend with because poor people in the US generally don't have health insurance at all or they have shitty insurance that makes them pay a percentage of their medical costs. Even if government assistance can help a poor person eke by and lessen the burden of living in poverty, it's not a foolproof system and it doesn't erase all the problems that can result from being poor.

To translate that from something a normal person would experience to an example more relevant to Deagle Nation, Eli got his car towed. Getting it back was 500 dollars (more than half of Jace's monthly income) out of their pockets that they couldn't plan for. Think of how many times Jace has broken shit (monitors, webcams, internet cables, etc) and then had to replace it. It's mostly because of their own incompetence but these guys have a lot of accidents that cost them actual real-life money they could be using for other things. The way I look at it, they fuck up so often and have so little financial security that eventually one of their mistakes will be the one they can't recover from or fix with a donation drive, regardless of whether or not they're receiving any government assistance beyond Jace's SSD. At least their families will probably be there to pick up the pieces for them.

 

[Erwin Rommel]

As of the end of last month, Eli does in fact have a job.


If someone were to research the right stuff, they could fake a mental illness, brain damage, or something of that nature for SSD, but it'd still take a very long time, involve a lot of work, and in Eli's case, I doubt his ego would permit him to fake something "gay" like depression or a traumatic brain injury and I doubt he has the acting chops or intelligence to properly and consistently feign a physical disability.

They wouldn't need to fake mental illness, as I'm pretty sure we can say for almost certainty that Jace has some mental illness. Examples include the 'killing my dad' moment and the 'none of you are real' moment. We also know that he takes medication for something. I think all of these things can lead us to the conclusion he has something that could be considered a mental illness.

 

[ChuckSlaughter]

As of the end of last month, Eli does in fact have a job.


To translate that from something a normal person would experience to an example more relevant to Deagle Nation, Eli got his car towed. Getting it back was 500 dollars (more than half of Jace's monthly income) out of their pockets that they couldn't plan for. Think of how many times Jace has broken shit (monitors, webcams, internet cables, etc) and then had to replace it. It's mostly because of their own incompetence but these guys have a lot of accidents that cost them actual real-life money they could be using for other things. The way I look at it, they fuck up so often and have so little financial security that eventually one of their mistakes will be the one they can't recover from or fix with a donation drive, regardless of whether or not they're receiving any government assistance beyond Jace's SSD. At least their families will probably be there to pick up the pieces for them.

Well yeah, if eli smooths things over with his parents he will have no bills so they can fuck up super hard and still be ok. It doesn't seem like his parents will give him food though.

 

[Germanicus]

I can't imagine Eli as a janitor. He can't even keep his own cottage clean. And I'm pretty sure he couldn't even screw in a lightbulb. The only job he could possibly do would be bagging groceries.

 

[Kecleon]

'I heard Judge Judy went into a restaurant, and ate everything in the restaurant, and they had to close the restaurant.' - Eli Wiggum

EDIT: Just noticed the tactical use of the eternally-present Batman Forever font:

Break leg, get government cheese #easeemoni

 

[Gorogoroth]

So, Eli was living rent free until his parents found out about MICIS,Tupacalypse, the grow house etc, and then decided to charge him 600 dollars a month rent. They must be giving him a monthly allowance; He's not on welfare, and we're not even sure if he's still got/ever actually had his bagging job. Even if he did, the one thing I've learned about the states is that you're all on concentration camp level wages because freedom or something.
Even previous to Jace living with him, he must've been getting money off his parents to survive on. Sounds to me like they're simply witholding 600 dollars of his pocket money.