Was Ethan a good boy this year? - Christmas predictions, hopes, and dreams

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

Well 2020 was quite the year for Ethan Ralph, but did he end up on the good list? Will he get coal in his stocking this year?

What do you think is under the tree in the Ralph household?

 

[Vetti]

What's under the tree at the Ralph household? A decorative bed of snow made from eight paper plates taped together.

 

[PhoBingas]

What's under the tree at the Ralph household? A decorative bed of snow made from eight paper plates taped together.

A bottle of Maker's that's been haphazardly opened, with 2/3's of the contents gone.

 

[Vetti]

A bottle of Maker's that's been haphazardly opened, with 2/3's of the contents gone.

It's next to the Wild Turkey Dick Masterson sent.

 

[soy_king]

That's a relative concept: In the eyes of God, no, but in the eyes of the Holy Cob, then a resounding yes.

 

[Crystal Golem]

A bill from his lawyer and a new curry comb for may.

 

[Barry Scott]

A knock off Nintendo Switch Popstation

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

Hopefully he finally got that N64 from Vito. I mean, Vito is the only source for N64s.

 

[MeltyTW]

well he got a court summons for his now underway trial for xmas so im guessing not, the only bigger lump of coal he could possibly receive is possibly Xander Jr.

 

[FM Bradley]

All he's getting for christmas is gout.

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

well he got a court summons for his now underway trial for xmas so im guessing not, the only bigger lump of coal he could possibly receive is possibly Xander Jr.

you mean Cornelius Xander Rad Roberts Ronnie Ralph Vickers?
The Chosen One™ anointed in holy corn oils?

 

[Steverambo]

half a gram of crystal meth and a slightly used bottle of vaseline

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Ralph will be under the tree this Christmas, passed out.

 

[TwoDollarPeePeePooPoo]

A fresh, unwiped asshole for Ralph to stick his thumb into.

 

[RichardRApe]

Looming sex offender status.

 

[Shiggy Diggster]

Dozens of ears of corn sent by them damn dirty a-lawgs.

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

I won't lie, more than once I have thought about sending a cheap set of ceramic plates to the crack shack. With a little note wishing him and Fai Fai luck. Now would be a much funnier time to do that.

 

[Shiggy Diggster]

"GAYDUR HELP ME THE KAREN FARMS IS SENDING ME SHIT FOR MY GLORY BOX YOU GOTTA STOP THEM GAYDUR!"

Also I did look up if it was possible to have produce delivered to Ralph and it is, but I decided not to be that guy.

(psst seasonal roots is a richmond based online farmers market)

 

[Insane In The Membrane]

Liquor from Dick, cocaine from Warski and qualudes from Keemstar

 

[Weeb Slinger]

That six-word story that is often attributed to Ernest Hemmingway - "For sale: Baby shoes, never worn." This year, Ralph is getting those shoes.

Also, that rusting old car that's been up on bricks in the yard since before GamerGate: A lick of paint, perhaps garnished with a few crudely rendered Disney characters, and you have the perfect playpen / activity centre for the infant guntling - 2021's answer to the little lord Jesus.