WEIGHT LOSS UPDATE | DAYS 1-10 (8/2/2019) -

[L_I_F_T_E_D]

Edit: Full Recap!

WEIGHT LOSS UPDATE | DAYS 1-10 - 8/2/2019 (Day 45 of this 100-Day Nightmare)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

- We're still in the hotel room.

- Reminder that she's been on Weight Watchers because the Weight Loss Doctor put her "on a very very restrictive plan" with more lies about the calories (that he reportedly told her NOT to be counting) and the sodium content (because she's unable to COOK and because she included the beef jerky snack BAGS that he TOLD her to eat with the hopes she'd get SICK of the taste).

- "It was confusing to me." (YOU A DUMB BITCH, Hamber. Everything confuses you.)

- Way too long of "Hambersplaining" how WW points exist and that it's different than "counting calorees" because 1 Snickers bar is the same calories as 2 bananas (what's up with all the banana talk recently?) but they are different POINTS.

- Neck-jiggle reminder of the 100 Days of Weighing In Goal she set. Claims to have done 9 full days of weighing in and this is the 10th day and DARN IT if she doesn't have a scale toted with them on this vacation! (In such a rush she forgot so many things, likely because of a fight she had with the others over the Becky Left Me Saga and creating this immediate need for her to vacate for some time.)

Day 1 Reminder (from the day AFTER the Weight Loss Doctor and Grocery Haul): 567.4LB
Day 2 (already ate/drank complaint) - 568.6LB
Day 3 (wearing 2LB clothes complaint, but still refuses to show herself ON the scale) - 568.8LB
Day 4 - 565.6LB
Day 5 (already ate/drank complaint) - 566.2LB
Day 6 (swollen complaint) - 565.2LB
Day 7 (ate too much last night complaint) - 564.6LB
Day 8 - 564.0LB
Day 9 (swollen complaint) - 563.2LB
Day 10 - No weigh-in; didn't bring scale to hotel

- Hamber wants to claim BONUS weight loss because she gained for a few days. Claims to not know what a tare function is on a scale, but certainly knows how to apply it in her mind for extra pats on her immense back.

- "The more restrict I am, the more chance I'm going to fail." [Insert your own joke about things that restrict Hamberlynn; I recommend "gravity", "leggeens", "doorways" as a starting point]

- "The faster you lose the weight, the less likely you're going to keep it off." (But if you DIE because you DIDN'T lose the weight fast enough, you never GET a chance to KEEP it off.)

- Name-drops Obese2Beast as having "taught" her lessons about losing weight. (*awaits backlash / response video?*)

- Bullshits about her past "successes" at weight loss and what "works" for her. (Still up over 200 elbees by MY math, which is not exactly a track record to be flaunting all that "knowledge", BOOBOO.)

- Going on be reserving weigh-in videos for separate monetization in TEN DAY INCREMENTS, so she can retort to everyone complaining at her about not posting weigh-ins that they'll need to wait for the NEXT 10-day batch. (Of course, at the rate these videos come out and the fucked-up timeline, likely gonna be a MUCH longer wait.)

- Admits to going over points ALL of Week 1 on WW, so her goal is to "fail less" for Week 2 in terms of points.

- She is ON TRACK (because she weighs as much as a train.)

TL;DR: Hamber actually lost 4.2 elbees over the course of 9 days, and then went on this "vacation situation" so this may be a huge failure and the last we see of weigh-ins until she quits WW again and the cycle renews.

 

[The biggest iron]

Archive:

 

[Aldora]

Spoiler alert: she didn't lose weight.

 

[Whatthefuck]

What sort of ridiculous horseshit is this????

 

[Phalanx]

This content is nearly if not 2 months fucking old, seriously this cunt. Amber how the fuck are the lighter when you look bigger. This time line is fucked.

 

[Strawberry Pocky]

You forgot your scale at home tho

 

[Aldora]

Real title: WEIGHT GAIN UPDATE DAY 10,220

 

[Soccer Mom in Handcuffs]

So, Becky loses 30lbs in a vacuum while Amberlynn fails, even though she and AL are codependent/fused at the flab? I'd love to hear the insults that AL hisses at Becky to try and sabotage her. This whole video is rambling shit.

 

[Blathersnake]

Oh shut up bitch. You don't choose healthy foods to begin with, stop blaming your former weight loss doctor for you being a complete and total failure with losing weight because your lack of brain proved you can't understand the simplest of instructions when it comes to food.

Weight Watchers isn't going to do anything, just like the nine billion other times you've done WW. You are still going to choose foods with the most calories and fat and little nutritional value.

 

[GargoyleGorl]

Wait, wait, wait.

So she launches into this thing where she's like, "You can eat two bananas or one Snickers bar and either way it's 220 calories. So if you don't know anything about nutrition and are just counting calories, then you'd eat the Snickers bar because it tastes better and you get more bang for your buck. But WW teaches you to eat healthy, so the bananas are zero points and the Snickers bar is, like, 15".

Okay. Fine. I follow.

But if the Snickers bar is 15 points and the bananas are zero points, you could theoretically have BOTH, right? So instead of having either a Snickers bar for 220 calories, or two bananas for 220 calories, you can have a Snickers bar AND two bananas for 440 calories.

Am I missing something here? Because the way she explained it sounds absurd. It sounds like you could use up all your daily points on Burger King and then also have another 2000 calories of "healthy" stuff because it's zero points. And you're supposed to lose weight like this? I must be missing something.

 

[Loves to Huff]

10:57 Bitch name drops obesetobeast, probably misconstruing his words. Leave him alone.

I wonder how much weight she gained during her staycation a month ago?

 

[ADHD]

also I want to say it's been officially one week on Weight Watchers and I've logged every single day every single bite

doubt.jpg

the faster you lose the weight the less likely you're going to keep it off because it's not always so sustainable because when you lose weight super quickly that means you're restricting yourself a lot

This bitch can lose weight on 3k calories a day. That's not fucking restrictive. Normal sized sedentary humans would gain weight at rapid speed eating that much, yet she could lose weight by cutting back to that.

 

[Your_Fairy_Wish_Prince]

What the fuck is even happening anymore.

Wait, wait, wait.

So she launches into this thing where she's like, "You can eat two bananas or one Snickers bar and either way it's 220 calories. So if you don't know anything about nutrition and are just counting calories, then you'd eat the Snickers bar because it tastes better and you get more bang for your buck. But WW teaches you to eat healthy, so the bananas are zero points and the Snickers bar is, like, 15".

Okay. Fine. I follow.

But if the Snickers bar is 15 points and the bananas are zero points, you could theoretically have BOTH, right? So instead of having either a Snickers bar for 220 calories, or two bananas for 220 calories, you can have a Snickers bar AND two bananas for 440 calories.

Am I missing something here? Because the way she explained it sounds absurd. It sounds like you could use up all your daily points on Burger King and then also have another 2000 calories of "healthy" stuff because it's zero points. And you're supposed to lose weight like this? I must be missing something.

She seems to follow the Lewis Black philosophy when it comes to eating:

 

[saisegeha]

At this point I'm convinced that Amber has been dead for weeks and her goarlfrehnd is collecting the YouTube bux until she runs out of videos to upload. Get ready for a deathfat cannibalism feast, Slaton's will be invited soon to make sure nobody finds Amber's corpse.

 

[Dry Gorl]

Spoiler alert: Amber talks about how SOOPER PROUD she is of herself for losing weight while being very noticeably out of breath just from talking.

She says she reached her goal of losing 5 pounds. Even though she gained some first & reached 568, but in her last weigh in she was 563. The math and mental gymnastics are truly exhausting. According to her, she is doing amazingly well and if she hadn't conveniently forgotten her scale, she would absolutely for sure have shown us how she has been continuing to lose weight while on the trip.

 

[Pudgy Bear Claws]

So she weighed naked, after she ate, fully dressed, after she ate, while she was swollen, after overeating the night before, naked and while swollen. The result: she barely lost shit.

She admits she went over her points every day which is fucking mind blowing since she gets like 70 a day plus an extra 50 per week and lean meat, eggs, veggies and fruit is "free." This cow is totally doing the program wrong.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Wait, wait, wait.

So she launches into this thing where she's like, "You can eat two bananas or one Snickers bar and either way it's 220 calories. So if you don't know anything about nutrition and are just counting calories, then you'd eat the Snickers bar because it tastes better and you get more bang for your buck. But WW teaches you to eat healthy, so the bananas are zero points and the Snickers bar is, like, 15".

Okay. Fine. I follow.

But if the Snickers bar is 15 points and the bananas are zero points, you could theoretically have BOTH, right? So instead of having either a Snickers bar for 220 calories, or two bananas for 220 calories, you can have a Snickers bar AND two bananas for 440 calories.

Am I missing something here? Because the way she explained it sounds absurd. It sounds like you could use up all your daily points on Burger King and then also have another 2000 calories of "healthy" stuff because it's zero points. And you're supposed to lose weight like this? I must be missing something.

If you're a fucking moron, like our gorl is, one may think that this is how it works. It's definitely not. Her fatasss gleaned that instead of the core principle of all the meals being well balanced and healthy and human sized portions. That's the fucking key. HUMAN SIZED PORTIONS. Not elephantine portions our gorl and Chantal favor and refuse to give up. She's so fucking stupid it's painful.

 

[Madam Spergwell]

She's so proud of having logged every single bite so far on WW. So is she implying that she was going to log every tiny bite of all those different Japanese candies she bought at FYE? Yeah no.

 

[Lesbian Sleepover]

The sheer ignorance of this video will shed another tier of amababies

E: incorrect autocorrect words

 

[Captain Ahab]

CICO doesn’t let you it whatever you want. Sure, you can technically eat 1 lbs of sugar to get your calories but you’ll be hungry all day long. Sugar doesn’t fill you up for long. When you do CICO, you quickly realize you have to eat a lot of low-calorie foods to fill your stomach and avoid overeating calorie-dense ones.

400 kcal of bananas is preferable on CICO to 400 kcal of chocolate bars because the bananas have a lot of fiber which fills you up and keeps you full for longer.

WW is just a shittier form of CICO that repackages calories into points and of course wants you pay for their “hard” work. You could achieve the exact same result by counting calories instead. Actually you could most likely get better results since some of their choices are questionable.