weight update | i feel miserable (02/12/21) - Being +500ibs is a miserable experience. Shocking. Also, "Muh mental illness".

Diet Coke 4 Life

When I peek, it is in the line of duty.

0:00 ‘Hey guise!!’ *POW GOODBYE SPEAKERS* still. You need to change that shit, AL. Or at least use some fucking volume control when you ‘edit’ your crap-pile videos.

0:13 She’s strugglin’ for words here. Yes, it’s a weightless update. Yes, she’s wearing those retarded glasses that feature what I can only assume are thin plastic lenses with the most mild of prescriptions if anything at all. And dumb as fuck pom-poms on her ears. Those are all I can see now.

0:24 Apologizes for the ring-light reflecting on her shit glasses. In song. My ears bleed. My new bottle of vodka is open, it is tasty, and tonight will be spent in hazy happiness after this shit. She promises to figure out how to make a damned ring light work with her fake as fuck glasses.

0:30 She feels this isn’t a ‘look at me’ video - it’s a ‘listen to me.’

0:45 She fears the backlash. She hates society because it judges you for gaining weight. She says that being part of the body positive movement or something is a whole ‘nuther video.

1:24 She professes she’s not into the Healthy at Every Size or whatever. Sure, AL. I remember you saying you’re HeAlThY jUsT bIg.

1:58 Ramblerambleramble The reason she hasn’t done this video is she’s afraid of the backlash and wants her channel to be more about her and less about her body and her weight.

2:33 She’s fucking rambling about her having mental disorders and eating disorders and whatever. She wants to understand why she’s a train wreck.

3:00 She acknowledges that her weight, her indecisiveness and The Cycle (FUCKING CREDIT KIWIFARMS, YOU CUNTWAFFLE) are the main allure of her channel. Not that she’s a giant cuntwaffle, and THAT is why she’s a train wreck that we love to watch burn.

3:07 Sorry, I’m just going to type cuntwaffle again because it’s fun and my fingers are tingly.

3:08 She says all those things that make her a train wreck is mental illness. No, It’s because you’re a cunt. She insists it’s all whaaaaambulance-worthy bullshit.

3:30 Yes, we’re disgusting assholes. She’s afraid to share because we shame her for her mental illness.

4:08 We get high off her gaining weight lolz NOPE. We enjoy you being a cunty idiot. If I wanted to watch fat chicks, I’d watch some of the other nice fat ladies who aren’t dingy cuntwaffles.

4:52 Has a picture-in-picture photo of her scale (holy hell, she figured it out!) that reads 536.4. No image of her on it without support, though, so she’s still a goodly bit below LifeByJen for honesty (yes, I just swallowed regurgitated vodka at that, because I am painfully aware of how those two don’t go together). But still, hear me out - at least fat-fuck Jen with GinGin the dingus girlfriend-in-a-wrecked-car-ditching assclown video’d herself getting onto her talking scale with no support around her. AL can’t give us that. I wonder if she’s got a towel-bar holding up her fupa a la Homer Simpson.

4:53 ‘As you can see, I’ve put on weight’ LOL Ms. ‘I’m never going to be in the 500s again’ no shit. Claims she’s now only down 30-something pounds when she was originally down over 90, and now she feels it all over her body and she feels disgustingly miserable.

5:22 Wah wah wah she feels horrible le sob lolol

5:42 ‘I literally hate myself right now’ PFT bullshit, NarcLynn.

5:58 ‘I can blame it on a million different things’ OH FUCK SHE’S BRINGING THE ‘I can’t have a kid’ THING AGAIN. Dude. You dumb bitch. You’re a lesbian. You wouldn’t have a child anyway if you bang Becky to the moon and back. Kinda need a dick or a donation from a sperm bank (which you can’t afford) for el kiddo, dips hit.

6:34 And now she’s blaming estrogen. You know, the estrogen she takes to REPLACE THE ESTROGEN HER BODY NO LONGER PRODUCES, to keep her from going into early and instant menopause. This is not enough estrogen to make her gain weight. This is not contributing to her weight gain. This is REPLACEMENT, not SUPPLEMENT. I wish I could punch her face in without risking the loss of my knuckles in a land of fat. Or passing out from the stench of fat-body drowned in cheap tweenager perfume and candle fumes.

6:40 Says she can blame all sorts of shit but ultimately the only person she can blame is herself. Except she does nothing but blame external forces and what not.

6:45 Sorry I’m rambling. Tipsy as hell.

7:14 Oh, we’re supposed to be proud of her because she didn’t order take out today. She confesses to ordering takeout for every single meal with the exception of her Jenny Craig week for the last year.

7:46 Blathers that yes, you can eat out and lose weight, but she orders multiples or the most fatty thing on the menu and she merrily gorges on shit.

8:06 POINT. BLANK. PERIOD. Pardon me. Video paused. Need to mix a few shots into my large glass of Diet Coke. The aspartame will aid in my happiness.

Okay, back. And holy shit is it hitting hard so excuse typos

8:07 Admits to being weak and she’s a dipshit who has no self control. She deleted Uber Eats off her phone.

8:43 Goes on and on about how she has to work to download apps to order her shit now



Sorry gotta look carefully and make sure I typed that right. Because that’s her new myfitnesspal account. Yup. No typos.

9:30 Yeh, calories/portion control and shit. The standard shit everyone says to do.

9”47 Going to post more videos on this topic even though she hates doing it. She needs the money, gorls, so she’s caving. She even acknowledges that when she stops uploading weight videos her engagement goes way down

10:28 waaaaah I’ve let myself down I was so amazing and now I feel horrible sob sob *dry tears* ramble ramble ramble

10:57 Hopes we liked her sad update

tl;dw/r: She's a whiny sack of shit who feels miserable because she's put back on nearly all the weight she claims to have lost. I laughed between shots. Recommend watching the archived version to lap up her salty (non-existent) tears.
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My Cat Is Racist

People judging you on your weight gain? Perhaps because you started your channel as a weight loss channel? Maybe because you start and stop diets within days of each other after preaching and devoting yourself to this "amazing new weight loss plan"? Perhaps because you blame EVERYTHING on your mental health? If you are so self aware of your own mental health issues then get help. Fix yourself.

Also, We don't hate you Fat Amber. Hate takes effort. It takes us caring. We just find you fascinatingly unable to do anything right while at the same time patting yourself on the back and acting smug as fuck.
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How many MyFitnessPal accounts has she started and then abandoned? One a year ?? Interesting how its all on us for calling her a train wreck and watching her do the shit show. Why else would anyone watch ? She doesn’t take her health seriously so why the hell should we ? This is exactly why she gets “hate “. These cows use mental illness as a get out of jail free card. So what ,lots of people have mental issues. But they seek help and try to manage it. She is really a cunt with this new cycle or whatever this is.


If there's one sport this girl could get a gold medal in, it's mental gymnastics.

I love how she once again clarified that the reason her life is a train wreck is due to mental illness. Just keep saying it but do nothing to fix it I guess.

It's also amazing how she's blaming her "recent" overeating on her allegedly newfound inability to carry a child. When, REALISTICALLY, did she think she would be able to conceive? That hasn't been a possibility for her for years due to her size, but now she's conveniently able to blame it on her hysterectomy instead of her own bad choices. Which, ironically, was itself also a product of her bad choices.

Super Book

So it's disgusting that people find her shitshow entertaining. Totally not disgusting that she's chosen to whore herself out as a YouTube deathfat rather than be a functioning member of society though.
To be completely honest, Amber can barely hold down a proper job. iirc she had a call center job during the Dusty era and she did fuck all at it while constantly complaining about how much physical pain she was in.
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DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
True & Honest Fan
Okay, let's start with a few facts. At her new weight, assuming her height is 5'3", (I forget & can't be arsed to confirm on a Friday evening), her BMI is 95. Eating a staggering 4,291 calories per day which is at least twice what most women her height need per day, she maintains her current weight.

It's impossible to take her seriously when she pre-emptively whines about the haters; how we train wreck watchers can't sneer at fatties then turn around & claim to be nice, warm human beings or some such rot, Sure we can - easily, What we won't do is succumb to her gaslighting. I have loads of empathy & sympathy... for those who DESERVE it; whose issues are no fault of their own or if they are, have demonstrated they've learned or are learning from their own mistakes. So no sympathy or empathy here, Amber, not without demonstrable change.

What about her is a train wreck? Everything. Maybe it is due to her mentulz but again, she's demonstrated no genuine attempts to change. She has demonstrated an almost admirable ability to make excuses.

Why the weight gain? Nope - can't blame the hysterectomy or being on hormones. The hormones simply replace what she no longer produces & hysterectomies on their own don't cause the amount of weight gain she's shown us. Been there, done that - as long as you don't use the Pity Party excuse, weight isn't going to change barring some interesting comorbidities.

Her own earlier videos show exactly how highly she prioritized having kids; about as highly as this arachnophobe longs to have her own pet tarantula.

She feels terrible, she tells us. Yet her last few videos have been the epitome of smug, CuntyLynn. She's now counting calories, no longer ordering out, deleted her eating out apps, even! Never mind that ordering from her favorite gastronomic gin joints can be done just as easily as picking up the phone & ordering; I'm sure she's got her favorite items at the forefront of her primitive brain.

And... she's VagueLynning again. How many calories is she allowing herself per day? She won't tell us because she could be held accountable. If she dropped to a hefty 2,500 calories per day, it would lead to a deficit of almost 1,800 calories per day or a weight loss of 7 lbs. every 2 weeks. WHEN she doesn't produce that, she'd get flack & rightly so.

I predict she'll do one more weigh in, losing a couple of pounds, then crickets.
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