Weird cures for what ails you - Save a life!

UselessRubberKeyboard

CPU Rainbow Heart, Goddess of Spectrum Consoles
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Pom Bar crisps are awesome for settling an upset stomach. I have no idea how it works, but it does every single time.

If anyone in our family had a cold or the flu, my mum used to give us hot m.ilk with a shot of whiskey in it, an a small pat of butter floated on the top. Even the little kids.

Gripe water used to be a regular over the counter cure for babies with colic, and it worked really well - probably because it was mostly alcohol, and what wasn't alcohol was fennel. They took the alcohol out of the formula now though, so it's just herbal shit that doesn't work.
 

Mesh Gear Fox

Hi, how are you?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
When my sinuses are all full of junk, I take a bit of snuff (finely ground tobacco) and it opens them up right away. Plus you get a little rush from the nicotine so you feel a bit better.
 
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Yolandi

Resident Pokemon Go expert
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I did this weird thing where I started drinking water regularly and now even when I am at my sickest I feel pretty ok. It's amazing and you should try it. (I'm serious)
I made the big switch to drinking mostly water last year and it really does help. I never understood how people could drink it because as a kid I always thought it was gross. What I didn't realize was that I just didn't like cold water, I like it room temp with no ice. And once I figured that out I drink it every day.

Also I was drinking a lot of orange juice for a while and I noticed that every time I was drinking it I got a sore throat so my doctor said to lay off of it for a while, that the acid might be burning my throat. After a few months of none I had a glass of it last week and I was totally fine.
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

don't step on me
kiwifarms.net
Ear infection, put cloves of garlic in your ears.
Foot fungus, put cloves of garlic in your shoes, socks or between your toes. Garlic has anti-bacterial properties.
Vaginal yeast infection, eeh... maybe try the garlic and see what happens.

Tooth ache and it's saturday night and your dentist doesn't work weekends? Take a paracetamol/ibuprofen pill and place it where it hurts, like if it's in the molars put the pill there and bite down, gently, just to hold it in place. It will slowly dissolve in that area and decrease the pain and the swelling. Remember that one, it might come in handy some day.

Do you have food poisoning and having trouble eating, drinking or keeping anything down? Slice a chilled Conference pear into strips and dip them into filmjölk(it's like kefir/yoghurt but obviously better because I grew up with it), then put them in your mouth at whatever pace you feel comfortable with. The pear is so soft that it slowly melts away, the body will absorb the water and the sugar that it is tricked into ingesting while the filmjölk/kefir/yoghurt contains helpful bacteria that soothes the stomach. After a while the body will start to accept drinking small amounts of water or even eating/keeping down something inoffensive and easily digestible.

Seriously, this works, besides it being my personal go-to cure I've helped several friends feel better and stop projectile vomiting with my homegrown pears and filmjölk remedy. It needs to be the big, ripe and specifically Conference pears though. D'Anjou can go fuck themselves, I'd rather eat a pine cone, those are easier on the teeth and just like anime, nashi was a mistake. Kaiser is too sweet and too soft.


Is there any remedy for sneezing extremely loud?

?
Yes, I can relax and let my sneezes out as a sigh(people find it weird). I have that thing where if I go from the dark into bright light(from winter darkness into a store) I might chain sneeze 5-15 times in under a minute, so there's been a lot of practice. It's more cathartic to have that big dog sneeze but it is not always appropriate, it's loud and people assume someone is sick and spreading disease if they're sneezing a lot, can't blame them for that but it's not a good impression to give.

edit:
Lifehack(s): to practice not sneezing loudly, twist a piece of toilet paper into a sort of soft, pointy pipe cleaner and stick it up your nose, you will know when you find the spot, spin it a bit and now you have caused a sneeze. Repeat until bored or until the person on the other side of the phone accepts that you have a cold. Wild coughing can be caused in the same way with q-tip in the ear, that doesn't work for everyone though.
Eat toothpaste if you want a one hour fever, the body really doesn't like fluoride.

I made the big switch to drinking mostly water last year and it really does help. I never understood how people could drink it because as a kid I always thought it was gross. What I didn't realize was that I just didn't like cold water, I like it room temp with no ice. And once I figured that out I drink it every day.
Other than the daily cup of tea or coffee I pretty much only drink water - it leads to people at restaurants thinking I'm cheap, lunch restaurants where a soda is included say "oh, but there's a soda included". Don't want it.
It makes drinking the rare juice, tard cum or can of soda a special occasion to be savored, so many flavors and whole tard cum is an experience if only consumed a couple of times per year. Drink too much or too often of something and the flavors dim. Ask someone that drinks 4+ cans a coke per day what the actual taste of coke is and they will be lost, they don't notice it anymore. So if you like soda, drink mainly water, it will make the soda better.
 
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SugarSnot

You will not want it after reading the tags.
kiwifarms.net
Whenever I feel like shit I just tell myself that "This is what today feels like, and that is neither good or bad. It just is." And somehow I'm convinced that today will pass and the neutral feelings of days to come wash over me making me feel less bad. I can't count how many days that mind set has made me go to work instead of calling in sick.
 
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Yolandi

Resident Pokemon Go expert
kiwifarms.net
As far as mental health is concerned, sometimes I just like acknowledging I feel crappy or I'm having a hard time and give myself some time to rest (if at all possible.) A day of sadness once in a while is okay but usually a few days means it's time to get some help. That can mean talking to someone you know or a mental health professional. It's always okay to admit something is wrong when something is actually wrong.

A time when I needed more than just a day to rest or a chat with a close friend was when someone close to me passed away and I couldn't figure out why after a year it felt like it had just happened and I was still crying every day. I went to counseling for a few months and got the help I needed. I was able to figure out why I was having a hard time and it helped a lot.

I also agree with the above post about just getting through some days and having hope for the future. Hope is invaluable.
 

PopcornTin

kiwifarms.net
Vitamin C (by itself, specifically no rose hips) taken in tandem with other things can induce a period. Vit c and dong quai is especially effective, but vit c and parsley tea works and is less harsh overall. The vitamin c will fuck with your stomach though regardless if you take it long enough. It's definitely good for kickstarting periods that are late when you're not pregnant. Might work to induce abortion if you're pregnant (very early), might not. If you're not willing or able to get an abortion if it doesn't work, you probably shouldn't try it

Parsley tea is just kind of good for you overall, too. And it's delicious
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

don't step on me
kiwifarms.net
Vitamin C (by itself, specifically no rose hips) taken in tandem with other things can induce a period. Vit c and dong quai is especially effective, but vit c and parsley tea works and is less harsh overall. The vitamin c will fuck with your stomach though regardless if you take it long enough. It's definitely good for kickstarting periods that are late when you're not pregnant. Might work to induce abortion if you're pregnant (very early), might not. If you're not willing or able to get an abortion if it doesn't work, you probably shouldn't try it

Parsley tea is just kind of good for you overall, too. And it's delicious
Why not rose hips? Rose hip soup I can understand, vitamin c breaks down at 60c/140f but gram-for-gram they have eight times more vitamin c than oranges. They're also rich on dietary fiber.
 

Slimy Time

The Fang of Burnell
kiwifarms.net
Hiccups - Plug your ears with your fingers, tilt your head back and get someone to hold a glass/bottle of water and drink until you cannot drink anymore. Apparently it tricks your brain or something like that, and ends them almost instantly. Have done this for 15+ years, and it has never failed me.
 
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Hiccups - Plug your ears with your fingers, tilt your head back and get someone to hold a glass/bottle of water and drink until you cannot drink anymore. Apparently it tricks your brain or something like that, and ends them almost instantly. Have done this for 15+ years, and it has never failed me.
Waterboard the hiccups away? Interesting trick, maybe it works similarly to scaring someone.
 

Yolandi

Resident Pokemon Go expert
kiwifarms.net
I've also found that holding my breath as long as I can, then having a deep exhale and holding another deep breath a few times can also help hiccups go away if you don't have anything to drink. But the drinking thing works too!
 

Give Her The D

Amputee without a Soul
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Do supplements count?

I take these to help with anxiety and brain function, and I feel a lot more alert and less anxious:
  • 2x Pharma GABA 250mg, three times a day
  • 2x L-Tyrosine 500mg, three times a day
  • 1x Taurine 100mg, once a day
  • 1x B-Complex melting tablet, once a day
  • 1x dropper of hemp oil (when needed)
 
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