Weird Dreams Thread -

January Cyst

I could eat a knob at night
Last night I dreamed that I was in my house when several armed men came to kill me.
I tried to leave but was unable to do so and ended up shooting 3 of them but noticed that a song was playing throughout the whole thing so I pulled out my phone and used the google assistant to identify it.
It said the song was by Fallout Boy who were most well known for composing the soundtrack for the Fallout video game series.
I went on youtube to listen to Fallout Boy after I woke up to see if I could find the song, but to no avail as I've no idea what it actually sounded like.
But I know it doesn't sound like Fallout Boy.
If someone were to turn this into a movie, it would probably suck.

Also, I have a recurring less Fallout Boy oriented dream that I'm in high school and the final exams are coming up.
I know that I can't pass them and I wake up.


I, Scout, humbly present a toast to Miss Pauling!
Closer to the second one but scaley all over and frankly I find it suspicious that you seem curious about it. You aren't really a big-titty troonsnake, right? I'll call the real Null over to launch you out the airlock if you are.

Okay I think I got a fairly good understanding of what the snake looked like.
Wait hang on you said skeet, ah fuck gimme a minute.

There we go, fixed.

I had a dream last night that Null started a credit union for lolcows and people who laugh at them. He somehow got NCUA approval. Afterwards, the dream became about me running some kind of animal shelter.
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How come he don't want me man?
True & Honest Fan
I had a dream the other night that "they" were making a James Bond movie where several of the actors to play the character over the years all teamed up for whatever reason... (the only actors I recognized in the dream were Connery and Brosnan... but CraIg was probably one of them. Maybe Dalton as well..)

The weirdest thing is I've only seen a handful of Bond flicks..
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I should be working

Someone in the office keeps stealing my pens.
Over the weekend I had a weird dream about Piers Morgan.

He made me a Sweet and Sour Chicken dish, then we jumped on a horse, the horse turned into Piers and I was riding him across a purple field.

He disapeared after that and some stuff happened involving a pile of news papers later, I can't remember much about that bit.
However, a while later I found myself attached to mister Morgan's foot.

Over all, I had a horrible night's rest.
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Just an average joe
Last night I dreamed that I was a doctor in the victorian age who was called in the middle of the night. It all began with a heavy knocking on the door and a desperate man calling me, because the condition of his wife got worse. Turned out that his pregnant wife had a fever and was yelling a a very strange name I can't recall. After some time, where I was asking her husband several questions about her condition, the door opened and a figure, dressed in tatters and rags. As it approached the bed, we, the husband and me, retreated. It stopped by the bed, stroke the face of the woman and drew a sign/symbol of her belly with his finger which was visible, as it would be painted. After a while it started glowing and disappeared and the figure turned around and left.


Just an average joe
I must have had more to drink than I thought last night.
I had a similar experience. I dreamed about a certain German lolcow called "Drachenlord" (Dragonlord) who dozed himself and has become paranoid. Due to his unhealthy lifestyle he most probably won't hit retirement age. So in my dream the Lord got a visit from the grim reaper, who was just an average dude. No scythe, no cloak and no skeleton. Just a bit pale and pitch black eyes. He just said, that the time has come and the lord goes on a sperg out. Calling him names, tell him to fuck off before he calls the police and tries to intimidate him. All useless efforts but it went on and on. I think this will be his purgatory: trespassed in his paranoia without having a relieved until the end of time

Absolute Brainlet

Local demon pimp shitposting on New Zealand forum
I had a dream that basically went like a really shitty horror movie/game. Why was it shitty? Oh, nothing really, just constant fucking jumpscares, sometimes in quick succession even.
There's one sequence that really stands out in my mind:
The main character of sorts (some regular dude) is on his computer, and he gets a pop-up with a picture of a dog on a white background. He closes it, but another pop-up appears in its place. This repeats, with the pop-ups turning weird, then creepy, but briefly stops when the guy gets a pop-up with THE Smile Dog. He leaves it open for a few seconds, and a gravelly voice (presumably Smile Dog's) begins warning him that this is his last chance and there's no turni- but he then closes it. After a few more pop-ups with scary bloody faces, the screen is finally clear...
...for a few seconds, because it suddenly cuts to a jumpscare of a screaming face on a black background.
Then it just devolves back into forgettable shit.
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a hot nazi with a machine gun for a chest
I watched one of Count Danks madlad videos earlier about Tarrare, the human stomach. And I've just had three nightmares in a row about getting eaten by that dude. I woke up in a jolt because in one of my dreams, this gangly monster of a man was leaning over where I'm sleeping now and opened his mouth as if he was gonna eat my face. Think I found my new nightmare fuel :'(
I had a nightmare that was simultaneously the most retarded and absolutely terrifying dream I've ever experienced. I am convinced a demon was responsible for it.

I'm talking with family members when I notice an old looking desk with a copy of "Anna Karenina" on it. I pick up the book when I get jump scared by a screeching woman, face contorted black and red, yellow eyes and black hair. Her scream is dull and even toned, not loud but sudden, quick, and disorienting. It sounded nothing like a woman at first, more like grinding machinery without the sharp edge. You only realize it was a womans scream after it has passed and you can process just what the fuck happened.

The book wasn't actually "Anna Karenina": It was a sort of memoir about a young woman trapped in a dark basement with her newborn daughter and forced to eat rats until, inevitably, she eats her daughter (I've never actually read Anna Karenina so maybe that is what its about). The book itself wasn't the terror; it was the screaming woman.

Everytime I interacted with the desk, she would appear, consuming the whole dream for a moment, and scream at me. After the first time, I had slowly become lucid and it seemed she did too. She looked at me now, not the dream. She hunted me, her gaze was always on me. She watched me from that desk and book. Anywhere I went, the desk and book and her glowering intent followed me. I begged everyone in the dream to not touch it, as everytime they did she tormented ME. I looked for help, finally finding a monk I had once been acquainted with. I begged him to help me and, for the last time, he picked up the book.

Now in the semi-wakeful state, where the dream holds your body captive as your mind and soul desperately try to escape but are found trapped, I could hear my ragged breath choke out the words of the horrid woman, now red with rage, who hunted me and cornered me so viciously:

"I am Lucy of the Order 666. I serve Satan. He lied."

Even in my semi-concious "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I'm going to die" nightmare, this final line was so fucking dumb I started laughing. It didn't last long because it was a really intense nightmare and I was shaking like a bitch in the middle of a dark room.

Thinking about it now, its the dumbest thing to be terrified about. Part of why I believe it wasn't sleep paralysis but a genuine possession. Only the devil can make something so retarded genuinely teerifying.

The moral of the story; don't get wasted on Christmas Eve when you said you'd go to Midnight Mass. Christ's blood might be wine, but He doesn't appreciate it when you bail on his birthday for a shit load of drinking.

Here's a weird dream I had a few years ago.

The dream took place in Central Park. A man named Feral Williams was strutting around. He looked like Bill Maher in drag a la Mrs. Doubtfire. After walking down through the park undisturbed, suddenly a young twentysomething Latina policewoman named Maria Diaz came up to him and angrily told him that his make-up is all wrong. Feral Williams insisted that his make-up was fine, but Maria Diaz said it looks horrible and that he’s under arrest. Feral Williams ran from her and naturally she gave chase. Random citizens around the park tried to stop him, but he was too fast and agile.

Their chase even had them swimming and boating around Central Park’s lake. At one point, when they were running Feral Williams yelled out in falsetto voice, “Get away from me!” The dream ended with both Maria Diaz and Feral Williams in their own boats sailing across Central Park’s lake one last time, with Maria still pursuing Feral Williams.

The Littlest Shitlord

True & Honest Fan
Just a little bit ago:

This dream very much had the mythic feel of Steven King's Dark Tower series. There were opposing cosmic forces and a band of companions brought together by fate to accomplish some great task. And they were trapped inside a mansion and had to leave before daylight. But inside were the forces of the monkey and the crow, orange (greed) and yellow (fear), with the crow being good and the monkey evil. And everything was all interwoven, with the opposing forces linked together in an offset fashion. You could have the Boon of the Monkey or the Bane of the Crow, and the boon seemed desirable but was bad while the bane seemed bad but was good.

The boon was offered if you submitted to the monkey, and she would hit reality itself upside the head with a frying pan and you could make any paradox real for yourself. You could make 2+2=5 for you if you wanted. But everyone in existence would know what you had wished for and treat you appropriately. Like if you were in prison and wished yourself out, you would be forced to wear the prison uniform even if you made it all the way to Heaven. A member of the group was a non-molesting pedophile and was tempted to wish for a child who could truly consent to sex, but he didn't.

The bane of the crow was that you had to sacrifice someone to the crow to leave. But an evil person who had been metaphorically grabbing at you and pulling you down would be materialized (and start physically grabbing at you and trying to pull you down), and you could sacrifice them instead. So the fellowship sacrificed this rich scumbag politician that had been suing them and slandering them and sending hired goons after them instead.
And I had the strange idea as I woke up that the dream had been meant for Null, and if he passed up a corrupt opportunity to get his heart's desire then Vordrak would be sacrificed. Weird, huh?