Weird Dreams Thread -

Surf and TERF

Ouisandrê
kiwifarms.net
I dreamt that my girlfriend cheated on me by having a threesome with a couple from college that I dislike. She was surprised when I told her that it was a dealbreaker and then called me a bigot for thinking our relationship should be monogamous.
 

The Littlest Shitlord

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So I dreamt that I was watching these commercials for He-Man toys, but they were really weird and were made to enact really bizarre specific scenarios. Like Skeletor had this jet pack thing that could reverse directions and propel him into the ground because he flew too high and attracted the wrath of this giant/sky god guy. And there was this playset with a villainess called Cancera who had this good guy who was strapped in this machine that would give him dick cancer if her demands weren't met. And the commercial specifically said "dick cancer" instead of penile cancer, because this was marketed at kids. And the design of the toys was rather sexualized, although not unacceptably so, with Cancera being a skinny pale big-titted platinum blonde with some generic black skanky clothes and the guy being a tanned muscular dude in a vest that showed his abs and the same homoerotic vibe that all the 80s He-Man male toys had. And this ad came right on the heels of another ad for a gender-flipped version of the same scenario.

So I was watching and reacting to these ads, and I was getting mad about it. I was thinking to myself something along the lines of, "Cancera? What the hell? Cancer isn't something that kids are going to be scared of yet. And another thing, kids that age have the idea that the villains always lie and cheat just because they're evil, so are kids supposed to role-play out this scenario where Cancera gets her demands met and gives the guy cancer anyway, so he goes to his yearly prostate exam from Man-At-Arms or whoever who sticks his finger up his ass and tells him he only has two months to live? This is completely age-inappropriate. This is retarded, and whoever came up with this is a goddamn mongoloid who should be fired." And that was when I woke up.
 

Tootsie Bear

kiwifarms.net
I was suffering from allergies when I fell asleep to a random let's play of Luigi's Mansion 3. Had a weird lucid dream where I was roommates with various YouTube game reviewer and let's players like Jontron, Peanutbuttergamer and many more. We were all staying at this huge mansion where the kitchen was stocked with every junk food imaginable and the sink faucet dispensed any soda flavor you wanted. Long story short, we ended up having a party playing games like we were best friends since forever.
 

Kiwi Lime Pie

The tasteful summer treat. 🥝🥧🐈
kiwifarms.net
I had an odd dream the night before last where one of the tenants from the flat across the street apparently had a very large summer night party. In-dream, I'm up in the middle of the night and hear commotion. So, I look outside and there's countless people leaving the flat. They're loud enough that they seem drunk, high, or both. At first, they go the house next to the flat and act like they want to find something they can vandalize just for kicks. After finding nothing of interest, most of them run across the street onto my front lawn and start looking at my house to see if they can find something thrill-worthy.

Because the window in the upper den is open, I yell out to the crowd, "Hey!" in an attempt to dissuade them from doing anything foolish. It instead had the opposite effect; I'm not sure where or how they got it, but they got a large ladder and some of them used it to climb up to the second floor bedroom in an attempt to open the window and get inside. Because the window has a security lock on it, they couldn't open it enough to get in.

Meanwhile, I've grabbed my phone to call the police, but I can't find the non-emergency number. Once I hear the commotion at the bedroom window, though, I figure calling 911 would now be justified and I wonder why nobody else is seeing or hearing the commotion.
 

fishercat

good for health, bad for education
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I had a dream about JoJo's Bizarre Adventure where Part 5 ended early because the villain was forced at gunpoint by a court of law to go to therapy.
 

Positron

Bovid-19. Codename: White Yak
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Recently my dreams are like movies: I was merely watching the scene instead of being in it.

There is one veterinary clinic which, as a service to the community, offered some free consultations at the end of the day: 6 each for dogs and cats, 3 for birds, and 3 for bunnies and rodents. A boy brings in a big grey lop-ear rabbit, which has been vomiting for days. He waited after a mottled bunny and when it is his turn, he told the vet what happened. When they opened the cage, however, they found that the inside was stained with blood, and the bunny was vomiting blood. The vet said there is nothing he can do.
 

The Littlest Shitlord

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Recently my dreams are like movies: I was merely watching the scene instead of being in it.
I have that sometimes too. I even had a dream that continued like a movie after I walked out of my own dream in disgust like an actor quitting mid-scene. I can't find anyone who can tell me what this means.

There is one veterinary clinic which, as a service to the community, offered some free consultations at the end of the day: 6 each for dogs and cats, 3 for birds, and 3 for bunnies and rodents. A boy brings in a big grey lop-ear rabbit, which has been vomiting for days. He waited after a mottled bunny and when it is his turn, he told the vet what happened. When they opened the cage, however, they found that the inside was stained with blood, and the bunny was vomiting blood. The vet said there is nothing he can do.
But was he pressing buttons?
 

Robert James

Not your average John Smith
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The most recent one I can remember was one where I was working a late shift at some nameless hardware store with my brother. I had worked 18 hours that day and was exhausted my bro let me take his car since mine was almost out of gass. Had two friends from work that offered to drive me home so I could sleep on the way there. I agreed to it and gave them the keys half way home they revealed that they took my brothers keys and he would have to walk home. I demanded we turn back since the store was in a bad part of town, they refused and I spent five minutes trying to get them to turn around. I grabbed the driving wheel and demanded that if they wouldn't go back for my bro they should drop me off. They pulled over and I grabbed the keys.

The driver tried to wrestle them from me and eventually I got so pissed I elbowed him. He was stunned so I did it a few more times got out of the car went to the drivers side dragged him out punched him a few times more. Went to the back seat grabbed his girlfriend who was threatening to call the cops and threw her out. Then told her that her and her boyfriend were trying to carjack me and no officer would prosecute me. I got back in the car and went back to the store to grab my brother and woke up.

Aparantley I had done the elbow in real life since I dented my headboard and my elbow was killing me.
 

Dom Cruise

kiwifarms.net
Had this a couple of weeks ago.

I was in some spooky haunted house and I was trying to sleep in a bedroom, the way the bedroom was set up laying on my side in the bed had me facing a closet door that was slightly open, I open my eyes and see a female face staring at me from the dark of the closet and then the door slams shut.

I leap up, freaked out and someone is with me although I don't know who, but they go open the closet door and turn on the lights and that's when I learn the closet is huge, bigger than a closet would really be almost like it's another room simply being used a closet and it's filled with junk like old toys, one of which is a Mr Potato Head and some of which has now fallen down.

Then a music box starts playing a tune and I recognize it as the tune of Duran Duran's "Ordinary World" which contains the lyrics "Still I can't escape the ghost of you" which is a detail I find really wild.

So me and the other person are now pretty freaked out, but thankfully then I woke up.
 
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Kiwi Lime Pie

The tasteful summer treat. 🥝🥧🐈
kiwifarms.net
I leap up, freaked out and someone is with me although I don't know who, but they go open the closet door and turn on the lights and that's when I learn the closet is huge, bigger than closet would really be almost like it's another room simply being used a closet and it's filled with junk like old toys, one of which is a Mr Potato Head and some of which has now fallen down.
Growing up, I had a number of dreams where closets from my house or my grandma's house were not only larger than they really were, but they also doubled as either elevators or secret passages to hidden/undiscovered rooms.

I recently had my own dream about old junk: A file cabinet from my basement somehow ended up in my bedroom. Logistics of that notwithstanding, I was curious to know what was in it. Opening the top drawer revealed a bunch of old, useless, nondescript junk that needed to be recycled or thrown into the trash. However, I reached into the far right side of the drawer and pulled out two unexpected items: a half-empty pack of undershirts and a replica Philadelphia Flyers jersey. The latter confused me because I have no ties to Philly nor do I own any pro style uniforms.
 
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Save the Loli

kiwifarms.net
Old entry from my dream journal:
5/2/17 - Dreamed ISIS nuked Seattle. The nuke blew up right in the part of Seattle with the most hipsters. Then, I met Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi himself, who was hanging out with some Buddhist guy. Al-Baghdadi started laughing and saying how it would help the liberals take over America, and I was yelling at him, but then I realised nothing of value was lost because the only people who died were hipsters and now Washington would become a solid red state. Then the US announced that they were gonna nuke Raqqa, which they did, and ISIS was destroyed.
 

Fougaro

Glow in the dark K/DA Popstar
kiwifarms.net
I recently had a dream that I and other people survived a sinking cruiser, but then I was hunted by the Russian military because the FSB had a joint gay op with the CIA going on to kill all the survivors.
 

NIGGER ASS PEE POOPY RAPE

erect: ╭ᑎ╮ pee: ╰Ụ╯ micropenis: ╰ᶸ╯ ⁞ LONG: Ɛ====Э
kiwifarms.net
a few nights ago I dreamed I was in a walmart parking lot at night and saw Richard Stallman camping butt naked in the grass right next to the parking lot, like 20 feet from the walmart building and less than 10 feet from the concrete of the parking lot. his car was parked in the grass right next to him and he also had a grill, a folding chair and other common things people take when camping out in the woods. he was sleeping on a towel on the ground. I have no idea why he didn't just sleep in his car, I assumed drugs were involved. there were cars in the parking lot but no other people in sight. I snuck up to his camping site and found a treasure chest behind his car. I was trying to open the chest out of curiosity, not planning to steal anything but just wondered what he could possibly be keeping in there. somehow despite being extremely quiet he woke up, I remember thinking it was as if he could sense my presence with some kind of demonic power. he was angry, rightfully so because it looked like I was trying to steal his shit so I ran away.
 

Shadfan666xxx000

kiwifarms.net
I had this one really bizarre dream a long time ago back in middle school. In it, I was adventuring into a cave and snuck in down a long mineshaft. Throughout the cave, I found documents and even a cassette VCR of some weirdness experiments to make witches. Eventually, as such dreams go, I had awakened the great terror at the bottom if the cave and a giant coven of witches shook the cave as I ran.

Now you might think that the setting for this story would be something like a modern lab or an abandoned umbrella base but it was indeed an abandoned mine. In fact, it was the same kind of mine you'd see in an elder scrolls game because the dream played out like a mix of elder scrolls, thief and every shitty indie horror let's play with a dash of COD. The way I left the cave was in fact via a command prompt flashing in front of my eyes to run by pressing select on an XBOX controller.

After leaving, i decided to fast travel via the map over to Kvatch(?) where a giant horde of angry witches chased me to via fast travel as well. Eventually, we fought off the great witch sirge and i was named hero of the city. Good times.
 

Picklechu

kiwifarms.net
I had a dream last night in which, among other things, Null started a for-profit university in order to fund Kiwi Farms, and I got a PhD in Christory. I spent the rest of the dream at the beach, which was then hit by a tsumani right before I woke up.

I've been doing a lot of reading on for-profit education for the past week, so that's probably where that part came from.
 

Fougaro

Glow in the dark K/DA Popstar
kiwifarms.net
I had recently a dream where I witnessed a brutal battle royale taking place in a city in a similar vein to Hunger Games or Mirai Nikki, but only more psychopathic. The winner would get a Play Station 3 as a reward. In 2020 mind you.
 
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Opposite Time Nomad

"I wanna speak to the manager of Hot Topic"
kiwifarms.net
Dreamt I was in a town on a quest with some men. I found a giant animal care place by a pottery shop and got separated by the men. The shop had candle holders and incense burners. It was also connected to the animal care place and sold frogs and fish because of it. I wanted to buy a tadpole. They had one for a gabbyfish which I dont think exists but thats what it was called. It was like a bigger tadpoles with bulging eyes and teeth. I wanted a frog tadpole but they had none so I took the gabbyfish. Missmonstermel worked there as an animal caretaker. My dad's pastor friend from Australia was a elevator mechanic at this place. He told me to take the elevator, so I hopped in the elevator and the world became like an acid trip. It was bright, colorful and melty somewhat like the Land of Dreams in Eastern Mind. My s/o was there dancing but it was like they came out of a cyriak video. Weird and distorted and I recorded it on video to make sure I was really seeing it. It looked like a bunch of strange Instagram filters. Then they lead me into a building with an endless stairwell and many rooms, like an endless hotel. We were hiding from my parents. Then my s/o dyes my bangs and a strip of my hair blue. Mom found us and was dumbfounded by this decision.

I woke up after that.
 
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Twolegstillmidnight

Off with her legs!
kiwifarms.net
After I had my wisdom teeth removed I dreamt I was on top of a skyscraper surrounded by helicopters who were shining lights down and telling me to surrender myself.

The next minute I was in this top security prison in an orange jump suit but I realized it must have been the future because the walls in my cell had these semi-interactive TV screens and one of them was playing a clip of my arrest from the night before, talking about how a dangerous criminal had been comprehended.

When I looked away from the screen I noticed one whole wall of my cell was a window to the outside and that I was in a top story of a very high building looking over an advanced metropolis. It finally fucking occurred to me that this wasn’t the right timeline for me and I didn’t know where I was so I reached into a pocket in my jumpsuit and pulled out my cell phone. I was going to call my mom.

Then it occurred to me that if I was in prison I wouldn’t have my phone and I woke up.
 
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