Anyone have some good hobo stories?
Weird Homeless People Encounters -
- Thread starter Lackadaisy
- Start date
A black hobo recently grabbed my hair and leaned in to sniff it as I was getting off the train. I have short hair too, it's bizarre.
But weirder, as I was walking away another (non-hobo) black guy ran after me and very solemnly said "...I saw what that guy did." He made it sound like the hobo'd fucked me up the arse.
I was just like "Oh, uh... Yeah?" Then the guy apologized on behalf of his race, and went on a full blown rant about how fucked up black people were. He followed me a couple blocks until I realized I was actually walking the wrong fucking direction and had to awkwardly pivot and scurry away.
But weirder, as I was walking away another (non-hobo) black guy ran after me and very solemnly said "...I saw what that guy did." He made it sound like the hobo'd fucked me up the arse.
I was just like "Oh, uh... Yeah?" Then the guy apologized on behalf of his race, and went on a full blown rant about how fucked up black people were. He followed me a couple blocks until I realized I was actually walking the wrong fucking direction and had to awkwardly pivot and scurry away.
I once had to pull my Marine friend off a homeless person who was a stolen valor and made the AWFUL mistake to know enough mil jargon to claim he was in my friends unit.
He has some good points.
Yeah, glass eyes are expensive without insurance and need to be professionally cleaned or they will get infected.At the south station in boston i saw a guy standing on a corner with a cup and no eyes. Like, empty sockets.Now I wish i had dropped him some money.
I saw a homeless guy jacking it at a gas station before. Just reached down his pants and went for it while slowly walking towards people. Everyone around (me included) just tried to ignore it and hurry up with their business so they could get away cause that is one guy who does not give a shit about anything.
One night i was in bar with some college dudes and my roomates,it was the bar's last night before it closed and it was depressing as fuck, the bar closed and people went 3 hrs in a windy night talking to eachother outside?
So i decided to get a ride with one of my roomie's friends.
he and a couple decided to stop to have something to eat in a very shady 24hr place.
When we were returning to the car a dude appeared out of nowhere and they quickly entered the car,i took too long to get in and he started to turn the key like it was one of those cliche horror movies but the car wouldnt start in time, the dude came and asked ''sup,do you guys have something please'', we said all at the same time ''nope'' and he accelerated,making the tires burn
So i decided to get a ride with one of my roomie's friends.
he and a couple decided to stop to have something to eat in a very shady 24hr place.
When we were returning to the car a dude appeared out of nowhere and they quickly entered the car,i took too long to get in and he started to turn the key like it was one of those cliche horror movies but the car wouldnt start in time, the dude came and asked ''sup,do you guys have something please'', we said all at the same time ''nope'' and he accelerated,making the tires burn
At the south station in boston i saw a guy standing on a corner with a cup and no eyes. Like, empty sockets.
South Station is a trip.
I was in Boston the weekend after the Marathon bombing (I was in Salem at the time) and I was having a smoke when this guy comes up to me and asks if he can bum a smoke.
So we're standing there smoking and he asks me where I was when the bombs went off. I tell him Salem and he says he was in Fall River. "You see what happens when we leave the city?" he asks me.
I'm going along with it because why not, so I go "We are the true protectors of this city."
"That's right, man." He says. "We are the real protectors."
And then he hugs me and goes "Money is no object, man. No object at all." and walks away without another word.
I knew this guy, I used to go to the church he slept outside and I gave him some change once.
https://www.mrconservative.com/2014/02/32124-homeless-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-dog/
https://www.mrconservative.com/2014/02/32124-homeless-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-dog/
While waiting outside a tattoo parlor I was approached by a very chatty homeless 'veteran.' He told me a story about how he got caught in a fire once and suffered severe burns on his chest--sure enough, he lifted up his shirt and let me see how he quite literally had one of his nipples burnt off.
That said, his charred nipple still looked infinitely better than my hideous pepperoni nips.
That said, his charred nipple still looked infinitely better than my hideous pepperoni nips.
Some weird gypsy woman approached me and said that she would tell me everything about my future. I was all "fuck off lady I dont believe this type of thing", but the truth is, I was shitting myself, because I didn't wanted to know about my future, what if it was a bad future?
I gave her some coins and told her to leave me alone. Suddenly, she started to point at me, rolling her eyes and making weird noises. I was shitting myself at this point, and asked if she was okay. She looked at me and said that she was seeing a tall, pale and eurasian man in my future. I was okay thats cool and ran away, without hearing the rest of the prophecy.
I gave her some coins and told her to leave me alone. Suddenly, she started to point at me, rolling her eyes and making weird noises. I was shitting myself at this point, and asked if she was okay. She looked at me and said that she was seeing a tall, pale and eurasian man in my future. I was okay thats cool and ran away, without hearing the rest of the prophecy.
ER was short. But he's tall in heavan now.
Im super glad Elliot is ded, because I don't want to meet a fucking psycho.
Besides, he was short. And where I live, eurasians aren't uncommon, I'm eurasian myself.
I don't know if this lady was homeless or just some random crazy person (We have a lot of both in my city) but she was sitting on a bench outside of a store downtown, wrapped in a shawl, looking like something out of a Russian folktale. She was eyeing all the passerby with the eyes of a malevolent witch probably hoping that some unattended child would wander by and be her dinner that night. At one point a young woman walked by, not noticing that Baba Yaga has zeroed in on her. The old babushka reached out and snatched at her, presumably to steal her youth, but was just a second too late and the young woman didn't notice. Neither the person with me nor any of the passerby, so it's entirely possible that Baba Yaga was using an ancient Russian cloaking spell that only I was able to see through.
Next time, make sure you carry your special anti-Ruskiwitch wizard dagger...!
My wife and I were once walking through our local city with a friend of ours from Denmark. A homeless dude asked us each in turn for money and we threw him some pocket change. When he got to my friend he was told, "I'm sorry dude, I only have Euro's" in an extremely thick Danish accent. The homeless guy glared at him and called him an 'Irish Cunt'.
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