Weird people you've met IRL -

ForgedBlades

Milled wedges.
kiwifarms.net
There used to be an old guy who shopped at my family's business we dubbed "Goddamn Donald". His name was Donald, and he was the stereotypical poor white trash country bumpkin. Wore overalls, talked kind of like Boomhauer, the whole nine yards. He gained his moniker because literally ever other word that came out of his mouth was "goddamn". He loved coming in and shooting the shit. Example:

I goddamn woke up this morning and goddamn walked outside and the goddamn storm overnight with that goddamn wind goddamn blew a goddamn limb off a goddamn tree and the goddamn thing cracked my goddamn windshield on my goddamn truck.

No exaggeration. He was old, so of course he felt the need to yell because he was probably partially deaf. He talked this way all the time, he didn't care who or what was nearby when he did. Kids, women, nuns (probably), it didn't matter. He always had a story and would come in to tell it to my grandpa on a daily basis.
 

Gravemind

A monument to all your sins
kiwifarms.net
There used to be an old guy who shopped at my family's business we dubbed "Goddamn Donald". His name was Donald, and he was the stereotypical poor white trash country bumpkin. Wore overalls, talked kind of like Boomhauer, the whole nine yards. He gained his moniker because literally ever other word that came out of his mouth was "goddamn". He loved coming in and shooting the shit.

No exaggeration. He was old, so of course he felt the need to yell because he was probably partially deaf. He talked this way all the time, he didn't care who or what was nearby when he did. Kids, women, nuns (probably), it didn't matter. He always had a story and would come in to tell it to my grandpa on a daily basis.
Man, I'd look forward to having a regular like that. Sounds like a fun time.

I just suddenly remembered that, at a gym I used to go to, there was this fat, fat, tall motherfucker with a balding head and a gigantic white beard who used to prowl around the entire gym, from opening to close, bending the ear of anyone who he could successfully entrap into talking to him, ogling women and guys (especially guys in the male locker rooms considering how much he liked to peek in on dudes in the showers and how often he'd eyefuck dudes using the sauna/hot tub back there).

Used to call him "Santa Claus" due to his striking resemblance, even if he was anything but jolly. More like a nosey, demented, perverted old fuck.

But then again, there were a lot of weird dudes at that gym. Handful of (usually old) guys that liked walking about in the locker rooms with their dicks hanging out, trying to check out everyone. Pretty good reason why I got sick of going to that gym before long.
 

Finder

I don’t seem to understand
kiwifarms.net
Years ago when I worked retail we had a schizophrenic lady that would come into the store maybe every few months when she lost it again. She’d use our computers for “research” because if she did it at home “they” would come and kill her and her husband. She’d spend hours doing this and when we asked how she’d explain where shed been to her husband she told us she’d just say getting gas...for six hours.
 

OvercookedBacon

Adds extra flavor
kiwifarms.net
From my first job, being a grunt at McDonald's, mostly cleaning the dining area. Every day without fail, two older men (70s or so) would come in around 4 PM and order coffee. You know that feeling you get when you're being watched? They would sit at the same table, every time, and just watch me while I cleaned tables. Literally every time I'd see them (not even purposefully looking) they'd be staring right at me with these wide closed-mouthed smiles. Still creeps me out to this day.
 

friends o' niall

hold it in, do a dance
kiwifarms.net
This guy had on some ridiculously large headphones lying flat around his neck which he then proceeded to put on his balding head and look at some kind of animated cartoon that involved buff raccoons in full view of everyone
This one, by any chance?
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The irony is, the dude you're describing wouldn't be out of place as a background character from that show.
 
A former friend put her favorite shirt on an exposed light bulb before taking a shower and was shocked to see a scorch mark on the shirt when she got out. She did a lot of wierd dumb shit like that, but that was the dumbest. She'd be a lolcow (pretty sure she has BPD) but sadly she's just smart enough to keep her Facebook account locked and/or stuff offline.
 

TowinKarz

I've been a wreck lately.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Pretty tame, but, one of the local pizza delivery guys once told me, without prompting or warning, to take all my money out of the bank because in "2 months" there was going to be a huge "Solar Storm" that would EMP the world and everyone's bank accounts would be wiped.... and he was totally calm and collected about it.

Said "the Government" knew it was coming and was keeping it under wraps to prevent panic, but fortunately, the truth got out on someone Alex Jones-tier guy's website he was shilling, didn't catch the name and didn't care to have him repeat it.

Though I've dealt with him a few times since, I've never asked him where the big solar storm went since he's otherwise a perfectly normal and courteous guy.
 

Pissmaster

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Pretty tame, but, one of the local pizza delivery guys once told me, without prompting or warning, to take all my money out of the bank because in "2 months" there was going to be a huge "Solar Storm" that would EMP the world and everyone's bank accounts would be wiped.... and he was totally calm and collected about it.

Said "the Government" knew it was coming and was keeping it under wraps to prevent panic, but fortunately, the truth got out on someone Alex Jones-tier guy's website he was shilling, didn't catch the name and didn't care to have him repeat it.

Though I've dealt with him a few times since, I've never asked him where the big solar storm went since he's otherwise a perfectly normal and courteous guy.
Maybe the delivery right before yours tipped him in crystal meth
 

TowinKarz

I've been a wreck lately.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Maybe the delivery right before yours tipped him in crystal meth
He's a fairly old-looking guy, like in his mid-to-late-50's, so I think it's more of a case of.... now i know WHY he's delivering pizza at 50.... though I guess meth could really add on the years.

Oh, that reminds me.

We repo cars at work, and occasionally, a person who gets repo'd comes in to pick up personal property from the car because they know they'll never be able to get the vehicle back. One was a silver Chrysler 300 that the debtor had painted "REPENT!" and "GOD WILL DESTROY YOU!" all over the windows and bodywork with yellow poster paint.

When he came to get his stuff out, he told everyone at the garage that he'd stopped making payments because "The end was near" and "Nuclear war is right around the corner" and we had very little time left to make good with the Man Upstairs.... just like Pizza Guy, he was smiling and chipper the whole time.

That was, IIRC, 2008.....

Wonder whatever happened to that guy?
 

Pissmaster

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He's a fairly old-looking guy, like in his mid-to-late-50's, so I think it's more of a case of.... now i know WHY he's delivering pizza at 50.... though I guess meth could really add on the years.

Oh, that reminds me.

We repo cars at work, and occasionally, a person who gets repo'd comes in to pick up personal property from the car because they know they'll never be able to get the vehicle back. One was a silver Chrysler 300 that the debtor had painted "REPENT!" and "GOD WILL DESTROY YOU!" all over the windows and bodywork with yellow poster paint.

When he came to get his stuff out, he told everyone at the garage that he'd stopped making payments because "The end was near" and "Nuclear war is right around the corner" and we had very little time left to make good with the Man Upstairs.... just like Pizza Guy, he was smiling and chipper the whole time.

That was, IIRC, 2008.....

Wonder whatever happened to that guy?
>2008

In all seriousness, there was a shitload of fearmongering among fundies that year over Obama's overwhelming popularity and how they thought he could be the antichrist, so that might be where that all came from.
 

Autumnal Equinox

You’re a goody little two shoes!
kiwifarms.net
My friend’s ex girlfriend was into all kinds of new age woo and would go off on the strangest tangents. Told me once after some random conversation we were all having (that had nothing to do with her beliefs) that “she always knew there was something fairy-like about me” She didn’t mean fairy as in an effeminate gay guy, she literally believed I was part fae and always liked being around “my ethereal energy” combined with her boyfriend’s “solar aura”

Don’t know what my buddy saw in her, chick was nuts
 

General Tug Boat

Waffen tier shit poster and retard wrangler
kiwifarms.net
I've meet tons of crazy people in my day and probably one of the strangest was the story I heard of the drifters that someone I know ended up taking in for a very short period.

Buddy was carrying around this suitcase and claimed he had a million dollars in it. So one day, the person I knew ended up opening up this suitcase while the guy was taking a piss. Apparently it was just one lone pair of panties. He ended up getting ban hammered...
 

Gravemind

A monument to all your sins
kiwifarms.net
>2008

In all seriousness, there was a shitload of fearmongering among fundies that year over Obama's overwhelming popularity and how they thought he could be the antichrist, so that might be where that all came from.
That, and 4 years away from 2012. I seem to recall there being lots of Y2K'ish fearmongering about the end of the world leading up to 2012. End of the Mayan calendar or whatever.

For thread tax, I'm not sure if this should count as "weird person", "IRL autism", or just the case of one truly exceptional idiot, but there's a guy I've known since middle school who started hanging around some mutual friends of mine who attended another school around the time we all started high school, and, despite being a grade A student for most of his academic career and coming from a Christian, God-fearing upbringing, once he was really exposed to the "secular" world around him he dove so far off the deep end that he may as well have gone base jumping off the Grand Canyon without any safety equipment.

To elaborate further so that metaphor just doesn't seem like an exaggeration, his change in behavior started out with a slow burn. He developed a love of metal (not so bad), a budding interest in Satanism (now we're starting to jump the shark a little bit), went through an incredibly cringe phase bragging (?) about how he was evil, developed an interest in Nazi Germany and Hitler (this seemed to be a recurring thing among a handful of dumb kids trying to be edgy back then), transitioned into listening to rap, trap, and hip hop, gained a major interest in hard drugs and alcohol (despite not having indulged in them yet), and "educated" himself on the law and crimes – case in point, there was one time where he wouldn't stop being a fucking cringe-ass retard bragging about how he'd kill people and do drugs and go to jail, and when me and our mutual friends called him on his bullshit, he started bragging about how he wasn't afraid to go to prison. Now this faggot's pasty white-skinned and baby-faced as fuck, so we warned him that somebody would DEFINITELY make him their bitch in the pen. The retard proceeded to deny it left and right, claiming that "inmates aren't allowed to do that" and that "COs will always be watching so inmates can't do that". We all proceeded to laugh in his face over it.

I sometimes wonder if the constant shit we gave him for acting like an edgy fucking idiot might've been the thing to push his delicate little psyche over the edge, because, a little less than a year after that, he actually did start experimenting with alcohol and drugs. Started fairly light on the drug side of things, only really smoking weed, then eventually smoking and dealing weed a little bit later on, but he just as quickly degenerated in just a few months after that. Not exactly sure how or where he got his hands on some stronger shit, but, one weekend evening, he apparently shot up on meth, stripped naked, busted out of his house, and went on a tear through his neighborhood until he finally got caught by the cops hiding out in someone's truck he'd broken into. Earned him an immediate expulsion from school and a brief stint in juvie, although IIRC they were debating trying him as an adult since he was about 17 at the time. And over the years, he'd just gotten worse and worse, getting himself in and out prison on a constant basis through his early adult years, usually for drug possession charges. Apparently he'd taken up crack at some point, and, after that, my friends and I never really kept in touch with him outside of maybe the odd time or two I caught him temporarily working at some places of business I'd visit, like the IHOP I mentioned in an earlier post.

So yeah, TL;DR, Weird guy I know completely throws away and shits on a promising life and future he could've had just because he thought it'd be cool and it'd make him cool to do just about everything possible to fuck his own life up.
 

Cool Username

kiwifarms.net
I once was shopping in a thrift store when a lady entered the place holding a baby. At first I didn't pay much attention to it, but then she stood next to me and I could see it was like a Reborn baby doll. You know, those hyper-realistic dolls made of silicon or something. And this lady was holding it as if it was real. She said to the employee, "She's beautiful, isn't she?" And the woman, who was a really nice person, went along with it and said, "Yes, she is." And the two women talked about the doll for a couple of minutes as if it was a real baby.
I think that lady wasn't in her right mind. For example, she was wearing a bathrobe.
 

820㎌Cap

Powering YOUR electronics since 1745!
kiwifarms.net
coming from a Christian, God-fearing upbringing, once he was really exposed to the "secular" world around him he dove so far off the deep end that he may as well have gone base jumping off the Grand Canyon without any safety equipment.
I've read on the internet and heard about this happening IRL a lot, it seems to mostly happen to catholic/boarding school kids/whatever. Noticing this pattern just seems to reiterate that you shouldn't overly shelter your kids, nor let 'em go entirely unsheltered either; it seems like you need to strike a nice balance, comparable to walking a tightrope.
 

Gravemind

A monument to all your sins
kiwifarms.net
I've read on the internet and heard about this happening IRL a lot, it seems to mostly happen to catholic/boarding school kids/whatever. Noticing this pattern just seems to reiterate that you shouldn't overly shelter your kids, nor let 'em go entirely unsheltered either; it seems like you need to strike a nice balance, comparable to walking a tightrope.
Oh yeah, definitely. There's quite a number of people I knew from school who turned into some wild children once they graduated and weren't under mommy and daddy's thumbs anymore. Very few of them flew as far off the handle as that guy did, though. I don't think he was particularly sheltered either since apparently some of his family, including his older sister, had a history of making similarly poor life decisions as well, so I also wonder if that might've factored into it.

I feel bad for his parents because it's clear they really wanted to make sure he wouldn't turn out the same way. It was pretty sad seeing his parents a bit before I graduated myself, because they seemed totally defeated about the whole thing.

To be fair, the majority of African-American males go straight from childhood to the rap, weed and crack portion of that story as soon as they hit puberty.
Like I mentioned in the post, this kid wasn't even black. He was about as pasty-white as you could get. Came from redneck stock on top of that.
 

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