Weird/Terrible Books - Post the most obscure, odd, and terrible written works you've even seen

Lissamine Green

In the midst of life we are in death et cetera
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I forget the title, but a Sci-Fi book I read was about a giant tower ( went into outer space ) where almost all of humanity lived - the higher up you lived, the more important you where. The dregs of society had to live outside the tower on farms.

The entire social order was based on ceks and how fast a woman could have children. Ceks education was started in elementary school * redacted - way too F-ing cringy * . 💢
Every one was basically a swinger -ceks was highly encouraged with everyone.

Was there a story or plot line? H3ll if I know, I stopped reading the book after the first chapter.
Why are you censoring words like "sex" and "hell" that way? You know you can say naughty words here, right?
 

Rice Is Ready

Mmmm, red velvet
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I owned this for the longest time but had to pawn it off several years ago.
Hope you got your money's worth! That book sells for hundreds on eBay! I got the PDF off of a Reddit thread. My favorite quote by PeeWee in the book is "That's how we all lost our pussy-fuck-cherries."

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Also the Carl Panzram book is amazingly brutal and disgusting but also his life was an adventure. Dude was a fucking slave driver at one point.
 
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BrunoMattei

No I am not the Cinema Snob
True & Honest Fan
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Hope you got your money's worth! That book sells for hundreds on eBay! I got the PDF off of a Reddit thread. My favorite quote by PeeWee in the book is "That's how we all lost our pussy-fuck-cherries."

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Also the Carl Panzram book is amazingly brutal and disgusting but also his life was an adventure. Dude was a fucking slave driver at one point.
Wait, I think I had a PDF. I know I owned a book from the same publisher about the art of killing. I also own the Panzram book and it's sitting right next to me weirdly enough.
 

Second Missing Primarch

Guilliman/el'Jonson 2020: Vote or Die, Heretics
True & Honest Fan
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John Ringo's Paladin of Shadows series. It's about an ex-Navy SEAL who is a horrible person, knows he's a horrible person, and channels his horribleness into killing people who are worse than he is, except when he runs out of bad guys to kill he beats up hookers instead. He starts out by rescuing a hot college girl from being kidnapped, goes on to fuck up a bunch of sex traffickers, kills Osama bin Laden, and stops a nuke from going off in Paris. And that's just the first book. He eventually becomes king and warlord of a hidden warrior tribe in the country of Georgia, acquires a harem of college girls, sensual Slavic babes, and teenage hookers, kills a bunch more bad dudes, blows stuff up, gets laid a lot, and is generally a huge badass. Ringo only wrote the first book to get it out of his head because he thought it was garbage and didn't want to publish it, but then he posted some of it to his website and a bunch of his fans thought it sounded cool, so he went ahead and did it.
 
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3119967d0c

"a brain" - @REGENDarySumanai
True & Honest Fan
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John Ringo's Paladin of Shadows series.
Oh yes. Truly exceptional books.

"Do you like Fifty Shades of Gray? Do you like Clive Cussler? Do you like Pamela Geller?"

John Ross's 'Unintended Consequences' is a great read too. It's kind of like a libertarian take on the Turner Diaries, where sexually perverted libertarians rise up against a tyrannical government (lol). Sex scenes are awkward AF and contribute nothing to the plot, as you'd expect. The gun porn isn't bad, though. PDF copies are easy to find.
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The late Mike Vanderboegh's unfinished book 'Absolved' is another good effort in the same vein, with a similarly unrealistic plot, though made less entertaining by the lack of cringy sex scenes.
 

Bessie

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Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk
shatnerquake_by_poojipoo.jpg
It’s the first ShatnerCon with William Shatner as the guest of honor! But after a failed terrorist attack by Campbellians, a crazy terrorist cult that worships Bruce Campbell, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner.

Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Rescue 911 Shatner, Singer Shatner, Shakespearean Shatner, Twilight Zone Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Esperanto Shatner, Priceline Shatner, SNL Shatner, and – of course – William Shatner!

No costumed con-goer will be spared in their wave of destruction, no redshirt will make it out alive, and not even the Klingons will be able to stand up to a deranged Captain Kirk with a lightsaber. But these Shatner-clones are about to learn a hard lesson…that the real William Shatner doesn’t take crap from anybody. Not even himself.
I downloaded a PDF of it after finding the cover image on DeviantArt, but I never got around to finishing it. I also can't find my PDF anywhere. From what I remember reading, it belongs in this thread.

Victoria: A Novel of 4th Generation War by William S. Lind

The triumph of the Recovery was marked most clearly by the burning of the Episcopal bishop of Maine.
She was not a particularly bad bishop. She was in fact typical of Episcopal bishops of the first quarter of the 21st century: agnostic, compulsively political and radical, and given to placing a small idol of Isis on the altar when she said the Communion service. By 2055, when she was tried for heresy, convicted, and burned, she had outlived her era. By that time only a handful of Episcopalians still recognized female clergy, it would have been easy enough to let the old fool rant out her final years in obscurity.
The fact that the easy road was not taken, that Episcopalians turned to their difficult duty of trying and convicting, and the state upheld its unpleasant responsibility of setting torch to faggots, was what marked this as an act of Recovery. I well remember the crowd that gathered for the execution, solemn but not sad, relieved rather that at last, after so many years of humiliation, of having to swallow every absurdity and pretend we liked it, the majority had taken back the culture. No more apologies for the truth. No more “Yes, buts” on upholding standards. Civilization had recovered its nerve. The flames that soared above the lawn before the Maine State House were, as the bishopess herself might have said, liberating.
She could have saved herself, of course, right up until the torch was applied. All she had to do was announce she wasn’t a bishop, or a priest, since Christian tradition forbids a woman to be either. Or she could have confessed she wasn’t a Christian, in which case she could be bishopess, priestess, popess, whatever, in the service of her chosen demons. That would have just gotten her tossed over the border.
When it was over, none of us felt good about it. But we’d long since learned feelings were a poor guide. We’d done the right thing.
- Opening lines

A Pickle for the Knowing Ones or Plain Truth in a Homespun Dress by Timothy Dexter
At age 50, Dexter authored A Pickle for the Knowing Ones or Plain Truth in a Homespun Dress, in which he complained about politicians, the clergy, and his wife. The book contained 8,847 words and 33,864 letters, but without punctuation and seemingly random capitalization. Dexter initially handed his book out for free, but it became popular and was reprinted eight times. In the second edition, Dexter added an extra page which consisted of 13 lines of punctuation marks with the instructions that readers could distribute them as they pleased.
Timothy Dexter said:
Nowing ones complane of my book the fust edition had no stops I put in a Nuf here and thay may peper and solt it as they plese
Timothy Dexter was pretty much a lolcow in his own time. He blundered his way into wealth, but never fit into that social class. Dexter's contemporaries looked down on him, and attempted to troll him. Multiple times these attempts backfired, and made Dexter richer.
People jokingly told him to "ship coal to Newcastle". He did so during a miners' strike at the time, and his cargo was sold at a premium. At another time, practical jokers told him he could make money shipping gloves to the South Sea Islands. His ships arrived there in time to sell the gloves to Portuguese boats on their way to China.
Lastly, I can't remember the title or author, but I once read this book about an incompetent burglar. Dude would target middle class homes, stalk them for an excessively long time, and only steal little things so homeowners would think they misplaced their stuff rather than had it stolen. When he wasn't bumbling around his victims' houses, he wrote User Manuals for a living. Probably supposed to be comedic, but I was bored and irritated the entire way through. It was weird and terrible, though, so it's at home in this thread. If somebody recognizes this description, let me know.
 

Monika H.

Digging 'cause all good boys are dead
True & Honest Fan
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Don't know if it came to the english-speaking world, but Nadezka by Emil Jãza is one of the most fucked up books here in Bohem.
Essentially it's all about a mother who smothers, rapes and finally murders her son.
It reads like a very bad doujin but there's also been talk about a movie adaptation.
 

tehpope

Ever had a crystal ball?
True & Honest Fan
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Reaper's Creek by Onison is terrible and weird. IIRC, a lot of the chapters don't connect and contradict each other. Onison's SI gets alien powers and eventually becomes god and tries to takedown god as well. Also there's that sex scene between an 11 y/o and a 16 y/o. Nope.
 

Dom Cruise

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John Ringo's Paladin of Shadows series. It's about an ex-Navy SEAL who is a horrible person, knows he's a horrible person, and channels his horribleness into killing people who are worse than he is, except when he runs out of bad guys to kill he beats up hookers instead. He starts out by rescuing a hot college girl from being kidnapped, goes on to fuck up a bunch of sex traffickers, kills Osama bin Laden, and stops a nuke from going off in Paris. And that's just the first book. He eventually becomes king and warlord of a hidden warrior tribe in the country of Georgia, acquires a harem of college girls, sensual Slavic babes, and teenage hookers, kills a bunch more bad dudes, blows stuff up, gets laid a lot, and is generally a huge badass. Ringo only wrote the first book to get it out of his head because he thought it was garbage and didn't want to publish it, but then he posted some of it to his website and a bunch of his fans thought it sounded cool, so he went ahead and did it.
I remember reading about that one on a blog once.

Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk

I downloaded a PDF of it after finding the cover image on DeviantArt, but I never got around to finishing it. I also can't find my PDF anywhere. From what I remember reading, it belongs in this thread.

Victoria: A Novel of 4th Generation War by William S. Lind

The triumph of the Recovery was marked most clearly by the burning of the Episcopal bishop of Maine.
She was not a particularly bad bishop. She was in fact typical of Episcopal bishops of the first quarter of the 21st century: agnostic, compulsively political and radical, and given to placing a small idol of Isis on the altar when she said the Communion service. By 2055, when she was tried for heresy, convicted, and burned, she had outlived her era. By that time only a handful of Episcopalians still recognized female clergy, it would have been easy enough to let the old fool rant out her final years in obscurity.
The fact that the easy road was not taken, that Episcopalians turned to their difficult duty of trying and convicting, and the state upheld its unpleasant responsibility of setting torch to faggots, was what marked this as an act of Recovery. I well remember the crowd that gathered for the execution, solemn but not sad, relieved rather that at last, after so many years of humiliation, of having to swallow every absurdity and pretend we liked it, the majority had taken back the culture. No more apologies for the truth. No more “Yes, buts” on upholding standards. Civilization had recovered its nerve. The flames that soared above the lawn before the Maine State House were, as the bishopess herself might have said, liberating.
She could have saved herself, of course, right up until the torch was applied. All she had to do was announce she wasn’t a bishop, or a priest, since Christian tradition forbids a woman to be either. Or she could have confessed she wasn’t a Christian, in which case she could be bishopess, priestess, popess, whatever, in the service of her chosen demons. That would have just gotten her tossed over the border.
When it was over, none of us felt good about it. But we’d long since learned feelings were a poor guide. We’d done the right thing.
- Opening lines

A Pickle for the Knowing Ones or Plain Truth in a Homespun Dress by Timothy Dexter


Timothy Dexter was pretty much a lolcow in his own time. He blundered his way into wealth, but never fit into that social class. Dexter's contemporaries looked down on him, and attempted to troll him. Multiple times these attempts backfired, and made Dexter richer.


Lastly, I can't remember the title or author, but I once read this book about an incompetent burglar. Dude would target middle class homes, stalk them for an excessively long time, and only steal little things so homeowners would think they misplaced their stuff rather than had it stolen. When he wasn't bumbling around his victims' houses, he wrote User Manuals for a living. Probably supposed to be comedic, but I was bored and irritated the entire way through. It was weird and terrible, though, so it's at home in this thread. If somebody recognizes this description, let me know.
That Shatner book sounds awesome though.

Another weird book was Riddley Walker. Set in England many years after a nuclear war. The whole book was written in what passed for English in that England. Hard to read. Book came out in the mid 80's. You can still buy it on Amazon, but who would want to?
Isn't it supposed to be centuries or even millennia after a nuclear war and England is now back to a pseudo medieval state?

That's a clever idea though I can see why it would be hard to read.
 
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rocknrollmartian

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When I was um...a guest of the county law enforcement for a couple months, someone in my pod had all the "Clan of the Cave bear" books, like the full series. I think I made it about 3/4 into the second book when the whole thing just hit me as fucking insane.
Oh yeah, I liked the descriptions of Ice Age flora and fauna in the first book, but Jean Auel is obsessed with Neanderthal-Cro Magnon rape/sex and even wrote specific details about Ayla's vagina. Plus, Ayla invented literally everything in the world, including jazz. So silly.
 

Questionable Ceviche

True & Honest Fan
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Oh yeah, I liked the descriptions of Ice Age flora and fauna in the first book, but Jean Auel is obsessed with Neanderthal-Cro Magnon rape/sex and even wrote specific details about Ayla's vagina. Plus, Ayla invented literally everything in the world, including jazz. So silly.
Also she gets really high and sees cars and planes and shit. The original premise of a human child growing up in a tribe of Neanderthals is good, but the series got kinda boring after the first couple of books.
 

JosephStalin

Vozhd
True & Honest Fan
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I remember reading about that one on a blog once.



That Shatner book sounds awesome though.



Isn't it supposed to be centuries or even millennia after a nuclear war and England is now back to a pseudo medieval state?

That's a clever idea though I can see why it would be hard to read.
Yes, centuries, I would say. Riddley Walker references the "1big1" (nuclear weapons) and the "1little1" (gunpowder).
 

DungeonMaster

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I got most of this series when he gave out ebook copies for free this one weekend and BOY was it a trip:

This is his website
Here is the wiki

So basically Chronicles of Eden is essentially Monster Girl Quest refitted for westerners (with more approachable fetishes that a) and heavily inspired by Rosario X Vampire. It's about this dude called Daniel Sorres (Named after the author's brother) who was rescued by a kitsune as a kid in a JRPG-inspired world where humans and monsters (read: inbred, bigoted rednecks and superpowered hookers wearing lazy cosplay) so he decides to go out and diplomatically woo some monstergirl nations so they can unite against serious baddies called the Darker Ones, which are like regular monstergirls except they're all evil and some of them are unfuckable.

If you wipe out the fight scenes and the constant, catty bickering between the female characters (which constitute the preponderance of the series), earlier volumes are about him and his harem rolling about the countryside in their TARDIS carriage, bumping into things and getting into fights, then picking up a new member and winning over the leader of their nation. But the most unintentionally hilarious aspect of Chronicles of Eden are its characters, of which there are tons: https://chronicles-of-eden.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Characters

So i'll summarize a select few:

  • Daniel: Pozzed-out wimp, basic harem MC who makes his fuck-buddies more powerful with his beta orbiter prescence.
  • Triska: Catty blonde who immediately throws a fit and swings her sword around the moment someone looks at Daniel.
  • Alyssa: Devious loli witch.
  • Falla: Liar - remember, the entire shtick of her race is that they lie a lot and are really slutty.
  • Luna: Batshit crazy lolsorandumb imbecile who is so dumb it's a miracle she hasn't died yet.
  • Clover: Foul-mouthed elf with a predilection for irrational fits of violence. She cusses like an 8 year old on xbox live.
  • Doku: Ultra-submissive stepford wife with wings, obsessed with cooking and cleaning. Her name means poison in Japanese.
  • Scay: Psychotic snake girl (what a shame, I like lamias but she's an exception) who stabs things randomly and receives zero consequences.
  • Pip: Braindead bimbo whose only purpose is to dive into the knockers of every female who comes by. Subsists entirely on pussy juice.
  • Jovian and Jacqueline: Flattest characters in the whole series - are driven only by their maniacal sadism.
You'll have noticed that the author's chosen quantity over quality when it comes to the characters - a lot of them exist to just stay there and pull off a running gag and maybe have sex with the protag here and there.
I initially read it out of bile fascination; but i'm genuinely interested as to how Gordon can keep his series up like this.

The prose is beyond atrocious. I've derived more arousal from reading IKEA manuals than his sex scenes. It is almost as though you funneled the top 50 worst harem and isekai anime of all time into an AI and this is what it spat out. It compensates for this with a plot with more loose ends than a 75-year-old shoelace.

There is also a scat scene where a bunch of plantgirls force-feed some butterflygirls laxative fruits and force them to shit everywhere as fertilizer - not only was this practice scientifically counterproductive, but if the writing was any better I would have legitimately felt nauseated instead of simply raising an eyebrow during this brief respite of audacity amid that tedious read. Also there is a scene where a witch (all of whom look like prepubescent girls in dodgy cosplay) forces a man to eat her out and drink her piss before feeding him to a man-eating plant.

What I found most interesting is that Alexander Gordon has went to the effort of creating some sort of facsimile of a multimedia franchise. Should you look at his website he's commissioned tons of art, which obviously wasn't cheap - and seeing how much attention he gets it's really strange how desperately he tries to promote his books. It's almost as though he's creating it for an audience which only exists in his imagination, with what, 14 patrons forking over $173 a month.
 

Flaming Carrot

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I forget the title, but a Sci-Fi book I read was about a giant tower ( went into outer space ) where almost all of humanity lived - the higher up you lived, the more important you where. The dregs of society had to live outside the tower on farms.

The entire social order was based on ceks and how fast a woman could have children. Ceks education was started in elementary school * redacted - way too F-ing cringy * . 💢
Every one was basically a swinger -ceks was highly encouraged with everyone.

Was there a story or plot line? H3ll if I know, I stopped reading the book after the first chapter.
I'm 99 percent sure this is The World Inside by Robert Silverberg.
 
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troon patrol

Only here because rehab kicked me out
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A decade ago I got my hands on some Nation of Islam documents abandoned house during a foreclosure of a famous individual whos's name I will withhold. This was years before NOI propaganda was leaked, it talked about "yakub" and genetic experiments created the angloid man as a working lower caste, I laughed my ass off it was pretty much Nazi ideology in reverse with an afro-superior view.

Too this day I still regret not scanning it all and uploading it all, I don't even think ED or anyone else had access to the story at the time. The best part was the documents clearly warned that sharing such with other NOI members who were not privelaged or payed the apropriate fees was forbidden, a policy pretty much exactly like Scientology.
 

Commander X

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I forget the title, but a Sci-Fi book I read was about a giant tower ( went into outer space ) where almost all of humanity lived - the higher up you lived, the more important you where. The dregs of society had to live outside the tower on farms.

The entire social order was based on ceks and how fast a woman could have children. Ceks education was started in elementary school * redacted - way too F-ing cringy * . 💢
Every one was basically a swinger -ceks was highly encouraged with everyone.

Was there a story or plot line? H3ll if I know, I stopped reading the book after the first chapter.
It does indeed sound like Bob SIlverberg's The World Inside



Welcome to Urban Monad 116. Reaching nearly two miles into the sky, the one thousand stories of this building are home to over eight hundred thousand people living in peace and harmony. In the year 2381 with a world population of over seventy-five billion souls, the massive Urbmon system is humanity’s salvation.

Life in Urbmon 116 is highly regulated, life is cherished, and the culture of procreation is seen as the highest pinnacle of god’s plan. Conflict is abhorred, and any who disturb the peace face harsh punishment—even being sent “down the chute” to be recycled as fertilizer.
Jason Quevedo, a historian, searches records of the twentieth century hoping to find the root of his discontent with the perfection of Urbmon life.
Siegmund Kluver, a young and ambitious administrator, strives to reach the top levels of the Urbmon’s government and discovers the civilization’s dark truths.
Michael Statler, a computer engineer, harbors a forbidden desire. He dreams of leaving the building—of walking in the open air and visiting the far-off sea. This is a dream he must keep secret. If anyone were to find out, he’d face the worst punishment imaginable.


While a fan of some of Silverberg's other works and short stories, the themes of dystopia and overpopulation have been examined in other novels, and better.

I mostly read this because of a brief interest in late 1960s and early 1970s science fiction dealing with overpopulation.
 
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