• "Kirby: whats wrong? mad you cant call me a pedo anymore? cry more, im sorry your little fantasy world is shattering before your eyes"

What ACK?: Gout Edition"What If" but for DSP & Company

Discussion in 'Phil Burnell & The Empire of Dirt' started by Feline Darkmage, Oct 23, 2017.

Forum Guidelines
  • Be civil. Don't get angry over DSP. If you need to tell people you're better than someone, you're probably not.
  • Limit discussion of body parts and functions. DSP is gross. Discussing his gout in detail is unnecessary and disturbing.
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  1. instead of constantly snorting into the mic, he would constantly do this disgusting spitting cough into the mic to alleviate his post nasal drip.
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
    millais

    millais The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas

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  2. Wait...I just realized that.
     
    Smashjitzu

    Smashjitzu Been "WORKIN' ON IT" since '82

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  3. Working for his Dad's company and probably being sued for sexual harassment.

    "Cahmaan dood, I only tuched her butt like once! There was nuthin I could do! It was right there! You're just a detractor!"
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    Aladdin_Insane

    Aladdin_Insane "I have an unfortunate personality"

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  4. He'd probably be a vlogger, not about video games but maybe about his life or maybe about food.
     
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  5. What if Phil's Mother didn't smoke while pregnant?
     
    xenomorph

    xenomorph I need to wake up Leanna to make me dinner.

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  6. What if Phil was the Zodiac Killer?
     
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  7. So you're saying he'd be fatter and even more infested by gout?
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
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    Feline Darkmage

    Feline Darkmage Cat Burglar
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

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  8. What if Phil secretly has a snort/burp fetish that he's purposefully exposing his fans to?
     
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    Dirt McGirt

    Dirt McGirt The Bastard that's Holly and Jolly

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  9. What if Phil actually liked Nintendo?
     
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  10. What if Phil didn't have Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder?
     
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  11. What if Phil was a prefabricated metal chimney?
     
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    Coster

    True & Honest Fan

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  12. What if Phil was into Starcraft rather than Street Fighter?
     
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    scorptatious

    scorptatious is just fine again today
    True & Honest Fan

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  13. We'd see a bunch of Koreans A-Logging him instead of white people.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    Feline Darkmage

    Feline Darkmage Cat Burglar
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

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  14. what if he got with that aussie painter chick instead of panda? from the three sentences i've heard about her she sounded mental, that would have be hella interesting to witness
     
    Lurkette

    Lurkette still haven't lost my virginity; i never lose
    True & Honest Fan

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  15. What's the difference?

    Also, What if Phil watched anime (that's not hentai or anything involving waifus)?
     
    H4nzn0

    H4nzn0 It's Simple Shitposting

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  16. I actually agree, in a way. I mean if you look at his "cooking with the king" videos, they're cringey as fuck and horrible and he's not a good cook, but he's actually more enthusiastic and invested than Ive ever heard him in any other video. I mean he's still talking AT the viewer, I guess, but he's more invested and it seems like he's actually trying to at least explain or be informative. He said he wanted to open a restaurant, so I think, somewhere, he might actually like cooking--as long as it feeds his ego I guess.

    Because he would only like cooking as long as people suck his dick and tell him how good he is at it. Kinda like lets plays. As long as he's top dog, gaming the scene for very little effort (a lot of effort in his dictionary), he loves it. When it gets tough, he breaks.

    He wouldnt last in a kitchen for a week, so I understand, but I think somewhere he does consider it one of his only "talents". It's more of a hobby since everyone can cook and everyone eats, so everyone always gets practice, but I feel like that's one of the pillars of his self esteem in a way, why he's always going on about his "italian" sauce. He thinks he's a "better than average" cook, who has 'a secret' (recipe, ingredient, whatever), a good taste or palate--when the reality is that there is no secret, only hard work. It's like art or music.
     
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  17. What if Phil wasn't able to duck out from Jaha or any of the other FGC members he pissed off enough to try and fight him IRL and so got a righteous ass whoopin'? Would he be less prone to impulsively talk shit?
     
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    Adamska

    Adamska Last Gunman
    True & Honest Fan

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  18. What if Phil went along with the whole TIHYDP thing and took it in stride when EvilAJ's videos were gaining traction?
     
    CartmanKusanagi

    CartmanKusanagi "W? What the fuck button is W?"

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