What are some of the GOOD things that are because of the Corona Virus? -

FuckedUp

Trump's half-Chosen
kiwifarms.net
Not sure if it's still a good thing, but I was thinking I'd have an advantage with graduate school admissions this year due to the dearth of Chinese applicants. Though now with every American university switching online halfway through the semester I'm afraid I'm going to be fucked over too because admissions officers will (rightfully) think it was ultimately easier to ace the four CS classes I'm taking this particular semester than when other applicants took them. *sigh*
NO SCHOOL!!
Found the underage fag.
 

JustFuckinaDude

“You have no idea how hard I fuck wit Zebra Cakes”
kiwifarms.net
My daughter was born last month, and I get to spend time with her, rather than going to school. My wife appreciates my availability to help out as well.
A. My exams are online, so I can cheat easily; however, my clinical rotations are still a go.
B. I'm getting to buy at one hell of a dip, so when everything goes back to normal, I'm expecting great returns.
C. My gym is empty, which is fantastic.
D. It's finally sunk in that it's time to stop relying on China for everything.
E. People don't want to socialize anymore, and I'm okay with that.
 

JULAY

kiwifarms.net
No jury duty for me this week, and they can't get me again for at least 3 years. Praise be unto you, oh great coronavirus.
If you ever want to get out of jury duty (for criminal trials) just tell the attorneys during voir dire that you know that cops are paid professional liars, and that you will automatically disbelieve any testimony by a cop regardless of what it is. Defense attorney will get a raging hard on and want you on the jury, but you'll be the first person the prosecution strikes.
 

Maxliam

You all disgust me.
kiwifarms.net
My job is still going on but we're closed to the public so we'll just be chilling and shit. If they do tell us to stay home we get paid administrative leave. Also this has made my family appreciate how I prep for stuff like this and don't see me as a crazed gun nut like before. Now I'm a sensible gun nut!

But kidding aside, even my anti-gun sis is now asking her husband to teach her how to handle a gun. Not even the hurricanes in Houston could get that out of her.

If you ever want to get out of jury duty (for criminal trials) just tell the attorneys during voir dire that you know that cops are paid professional liars, and that you will automatically disbelieve any testimony by a cop regardless of what it is. Defense attorney will get a raging hard on and want you on the jury, but you'll be the first person the prosecution strikes.
Also you could say you hate minorities and the police arrested them so they must be guilty.

It's funny because it's true!
 

vaporubber

I tell you what, this Goofus fellow is a dumbass!
kiwifarms.net
The parents of my students will finally be able to see how lazy and useless their children are. Once they see that the dumbasses are unable to do even the simplest tasks without EXTREME hand-holding, they will finally be unable to blame teachers for the bad habits they’ve instilled in their kids. It will be all their fault, and they’ll have no choice but to face that ugly truth.
 

Maxliam

You all disgust me.
kiwifarms.net
The parents of my students will finally be able to see how lazy and useless their children are. Once they see that the dumbasses are unable to do even the simplest tasks without EXTREME hand-holding, they will finally be unable to blame teachers for the bad habits they’ve instilled in their kids. It will be all their fault, and they’ll have no choice but to face that ugly truth.
You'd think that but they'll do mental gymnastics and blame you somehow. Idiots breed idiots and lazy people raise lazy people.
 

DDBCAE CBAADCBE

Buying a Switch & Animal Crossing with Trump bucks
kiwifarms.net
I get to be smug for once and point out that I've been stocking up on food and other supplies for years to people whining about the lack of toilet paper and food.
 
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FuckedUp

Trump's half-Chosen
kiwifarms.net
The parents of my students will finally be able to see how lazy and useless their children are. Once they see that the dumbasses are unable to do even the simplest tasks without EXTREME hand-holding, they will finally be unable to blame teachers for the bad habits they’ve instilled in their kids. It will be all their fault, and they’ll have no choice but to face that ugly truth.
I wish I could've had a teacher who used Kiwi Farms. *sigh*
No jury duty for me this week, and they can't get me again for at least 3 years. Praise be unto you, oh great coronavirus.
Shit, I just realized I have jury duty in May. Does this greatly increase my chance of actually being put on a trial considering all the court dates presumably pushed back?
 

DanteAlighieri

I hate commies
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
If you ever want to get out of jury duty (for criminal trials) just tell the attorneys during voir dire that you know that cops are paid professional liars, and that you will automatically disbelieve any testimony by a cop regardless of what it is. Defense attorney will get a raging hard on and want you on the jury, but you'll be the first person the prosecution strikes.

Shit, I just realized I have jury duty in May. Does this greatly increase my chance of actually being put on a trial considering all the court dates presumably pushed back?
All you have to say is "jury nullification" and you're home free.
 
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