What are your thoughts on empathy? Are you an empathetic person? -

[Cool Username]

To be honest, it's something I've been feeling curious about for a while since I joined KF. I searched for similar threads about the topic but I didn't find any, except for the thread about the Empathy Quotient. If there really is one, feel free to delete this.

At first I thought the forums was full of heartless bastards, but as I lurked more, I realized some of them could show a bit of sympathy from time to time. Even Hitler liked dogs, or so they say. So, even the coldest assholes can have a soft side.

But what I really want to konw is your opinion on empathy in general. Should we be empathetic with absolutely everyone? Is it okay to be unempathetic with some people? What if you aren't empathetic at all? Does that make you a bad person?

I believe the concept of empathy has been warped by the christian religion in Western societies... well, at least in my country. Solidarity and empathy have become synonyms of charity. If you really pity the poor, you have to give them your money. Otherwise, you're a bad person and you go to hell. But what if I don't want to give my hard-earned money away? I understand being poor is really hard and shitty, maybe I pity them but I don't feel empathy. Does that make literally worse than Hitler? Should I give a shit?
On the other hand, if someone has a better life than me; i.e. is richer, happier, lives more comfortable, is more privileged, etc... why should I feel empathy for them? Neither the rich or the poor pity me, why should I?

I started to question if I really was an empathetic person or not when I gave up believing in feminism. To be a true and honest feminist, you have to be empathetic with other women. I couldn't do that, and I also realized 99% of the bitches who call themselves feminist don't give a shit about sorority.
I finally decided to only feel empathy for my loved ones, the people I like, and the people I agree with (to some extent).

 

[SiccDicc]

Not anymore, no.

 

[DumbDude42]

I finally decided to only feel empathy for my loved ones, the people I like, and the people I agree with (to some extent).

that's how empathy is supposed to work in the first place.
this modern notion that it is some kind of moral obligation to extend empathy to everyone and everything is retarded. it makes people naive, gullible, easily manipulated, and vulnerable to being taken advantage of and exploited.

I believe the concept of empathy has been warped by the christian religion in Western societies

it's not christianity in and of itself. look back just a hundred years and you see a society that was much, MUCH more devoutly christian than we are today, yet they didn't suffer from pathological empathy like people do now.

 

[Cool Username]

Not anymore, no.

care to elaborate?

 

[Cool Username]

that's how empathy is supposed to work in the first place.
this modern notion that it is some kind of moral obligation to extend empathy to everyone and everything is retarded. it makes people naive, gullible, easily manipulated, and vulnerable to being taken advantage of and exploited.

I actually never thought about it. I feel a bit better now. Caring about your loved ones is the healthiest thing to do.

 

[JamalActimel]

except for the thread about the Empathy Quotient.

Just did the test got 62/80

 

[SiccDicc]

care to elaborate?

World is a shit. Just too exhausting to empathize with really.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Despite being here, I do have empathy...just not to the lolcows featured here.

 

[Cool Username]

Just did the test got 62/80

Good on you, I only got 38.

 

[LukeMcGregor]

Life kicks the shit out of everyone at times and you can empathise with that, but when people are causing their own problems then it's not worth wasting your energy feeling sorry for them. The cows I follow could turn it around if they really tried, but are too stubborn.

 

[Just Another Apocalypse]

NOUN
empathy (noun)

1. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

I don't think empathy is something you DO, or at least choose to do.

You don't choose who to 'be empathetic with/to', it's just how you are. You are empathetic with the 'deserving' and the 'undeserving'.

I can understand how someone feels and relate to those feelings through my own experience regardless whether I rate them good/bad people.

I choose how to deal with them, how I decide to treat them.

The more empathetic person is the person who has more experience of people/life. the person who only knows people who have had the same life experience as them, will only empathize with those people.

Empathy is probably best judged by other people, not yourself. But then, they'd probably have to be empathetic people to do that...

 

[Johan Schmidt]

Just did the test got 62/80

Good on you, I only got 38.

This test is bullshit. Doesn't fucking work.

 

[Geralt of Rivia]

You should realistically only care about yourself, family, and trusted friends.

At the end of the day, you're always going to be stuck with yourself, so looking out for your own interests is what ultimately matters.

 

[shameful existence]

Some people are triggered just by the idea. In one of the threads I follow, there was recently an upheaval caused by some boomer farmer saying they were "praying for" said cow, as she had been more self-destructive than usual. People were offended. I find that funny.

 

[Just Dont]

I'm a sociopath. I can fake empathy pretty well but deep down I will be laughing at your misery.

 

[Johan Schmidt]

I'm a sociopath. I can fake empathy pretty well but deep down I will be laughing at your misery.

That's not a sociopath, that's just a woman. Ha!

In all seriousness though, pretty sure that the sociopath is the one that can't actually fake empathy. They're characterized in the DSM as typically having conduct disorder diagnosis in childhood, which itself presents as almost a compulsive need to hurt and violate others around them. It's not even that they lack empathy, it's that they're socially retarded thugs. Or they might have merged those two ideas of psychopaths and sociopaths into one now? Last I knew they had distinctions between psychopaths and people with APD.

 

[Just Dont]

That's not a sociopath, that's just a woman. Ha!

yep, pretty mucho.

In all seriousness though, pretty sure that the sociopath is the one that can't actually fake empathy. They're characterized in the DSM as typically having conduct disorder diagnosis in childhood, which itself presents as almost a compulsive need to hurt and violate others around them. It's not even that they lack empathy, it's that they're socially retarded thugs. Or they might have merged those two ideas of psychopaths and sociopaths into one now? Last I knew they had distinctions between psychopaths and people with APD.

Right, is the Psychopath who can fake empathy but they don't feel shit.

This made me thunking: Are all women psychopaths????

 

[Cool Username]

Life kicks the shit out of everyone at times and you can empathise with that, but when people are causing their own problems then it's not worth wasting your energy feeling sorry for them. The cows I follow could turn it around if they really tried, but are too stubborn.

I agree.

 

[Pruto]

I'm very empathic even with people that make me angry because I know I'm often an asshole myself and then regret it.

 

[Cool Username]

NOUN
empathy (noun)

1. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

I don't think empathy is something you DO, or at least choose to do.

You don't choose who to 'be empathetic with/to', it's just how you are. You are empathetic with the 'deserving' and the 'undeserving'.

I can understand how someone feels and relate to those feelings through my own experience regardless whether I rate them good/bad people.

I choose how to deal with them, how I decide to treat them.

The more empathetic person is the person who has more experience of people/life. the person who only knows people who have had the same life experience as them, will only empathize with those people.

Empathy is probably best judged by other people, not yourself. But then, they'd probably have to be empathetic people to do that...

From what you're saying, it makes more sense now why I'm not a very empathetic person. I don't completely agree with your opinion, but I see where you're coming from.