What conspiracy theories do you believe in? - Put your tinfoil hats on

Tron: Deadly Dicks

It's hard to fuck a moth and Godzilla ain't picky.
kiwifarms.net
I believe that we somehow got swapped into an alternate dimension where everything's going to shit. I wouldn't be able to tell you at what point the shift happened though.

I also believe that the rash of hardware computer vunerabilities have been cooked up in collaboration with the hardware makers (intel, amd, etc) and software makers like microsoft to try and force people to get new computers because of crattering PC sales. I also believe that smartphone OS makers are intentionally slowing down their phones and making them unstable to force people to buy newer, fancier phones, and now that smartphone sales are starting to stagnate for the same reasons as PCs did (The hardware is so powerful it just doesn't make sense to get something new every 1-2 years anymore) that they'll also do shady shit with hackers to provide them the means to find severe hardware vulnerabilities that will just happen to only affect older phones so that the OEMs can say "your phone isn't secure anymore but our brand new model we are announcing right now is the most secure in the world!", said model which will also have its share of vulnerabilities.

The massive amount of malware and scams happening around are just a ploy from repressive countries like china to try and push a new version of the web that will be far more restrictive than what we have now, because of their pathological need to control everything people do, see and hear.
 

The 8 of Spades

If Only You Knew How HONK HONK Things Really Are
kiwifarms.net
I believe that we somehow got swapped into an alternate dimension where everything's going to shit. I wouldn't be able to tell you at what point the shift happened though.
Fuck, alright.

What happened is that we changed the nature of reality.

This entire thing relies on the Copenhagen interpretation of Quantum Mechanics being true:

...physical systems generally do not have definite properties prior to being measured, and quantum mechanics can only predict the probability distribution of a given measurement's possible results. The act of measurement affects the system, causing the set of probabilities to reduce to only one of the possible values immediately after the measurement. This feature is known as wave function collapse.
Now in order for reality to change under this theory, we have to observe something that we've never observed, something that has effects on the fabric of reality as we know it. I personally believe that changing the very fabric of reality would require a massive amount of power as well. So with those two ideas, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

The LHC at CERN, 2012: The Higgs-Boson discovery. Considering what kind of powers we were fucking with, I don't believe it's completely wrong to think there's a possibility that we created forces that we aren't even aware existed while completing this experiment. My idea is that we observed one of the underpinnings of physical reality and caused a wave function collapse, all while surrounded by a massive amount of power, and this changed something about our reality. However, it's so imperceptible that no one thinks anything has happened at the time.

A few years later, people start trying to figure out why Bernstein became Bernstain. People try to explain this with "the Mandela effect," which is even stranger seeing as I can't find a single person who thought Mandela died in prison. Trump gets elected president. Stranger and stranger things keep happening and alot of people seem extremely sure that this isn't the same reality they were in before. As far as i can tell, there's not much talk like this previous to 2012, after which it explodes. It's just an idea I'm working on though, so it's not 100% yet.


TL;DR: CERN killed Schrödinger's cat and now we've all got to pay.


Edit: Mandela effect, not theory.

Edit 2: apparently 2012 is also when we think CURRENT YEAR started as well: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/when-do-you-think-current-year-began.52427/
 
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yahooligan

web 1.0 newfag
kiwifarms.net
I also believe that the rash of hardware computer vunerabilities have been cooked up in collaboration with the hardware makers (intel, amd, etc) and software makers like microsoft to try and force people to get new computers because of crattering PC sales.
They still don't have fixes for most of the speculative execution type exploits. If they were doing it for sales as you suggested, they'd already have a solution cooked up and would be marketing the hell out of it. Sorry to vote you as "dumb" but your post isn't right. Speculative execution proves that "when you assume, you make and ass out of 'u' and me" applies even in the hardware domain. To keep with the conspiracy theory theme of the thread, I believe that these kinds of exploits have been used for years by nations/powers smart enough to invest a lot of money in theoretical type exploits. The truly brilliant security researchers have probably all been captured (in the employment sense, mostly) by those powers. Why would you let them run around like the Joker, poking holes in everyone's perception of security, when you can give them a practically unlimited budget for research and access to hardware that's years away from common release? If I were one of those security researchers, I'd jump at the chance. Doing it for Uncle Sam is a small price to pay in exchange for access to amazing hardware.

However, the dimensional shift thing is interesting. My parents and grandparents swore up and down that McCain released one of those forced "America is wrong for their operations overseas" videos while he was imprisoned, and refused to vote for him for that reason alone. I've yet to find any evidence of this online, but they all swear they've seen the "confession" video (decades before faking that kind of thing would be easy to fake). Either he flexed a LOT of political muscle to get all copies of his "confession" eradicated at least a decade before his presediential run, or something branched in reality. I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader which was more likely.
 
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Tron: Deadly Dicks

It's hard to fuck a moth and Godzilla ain't picky.
kiwifarms.net
Fuck, alright.

What happened is that we changed the nature of reality.

This entire thing relies on the Copenhagen interpretation of Quantum Mechanics being true:



Now in order for reality to change under this theory, we have to observe something that we've never observed, something that has effects on the fabric of reality as we know it. I personally believe that changing the very fabric of reality would require a massive amount of power as well. So with those two ideas, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

The LHC at CERN, 2012: The Higgs-Boson discovery. Considering what kind of powers we were fucking with, I don't believe it's completely wrong to think there's a possibility that we created forces that we aren't even aware existed while completing this experiment. My idea is that we observed one of the underpinnings of physical reality and caused a wave function collapse, all while surrounded by a massive amount of power, and this changed something about our reality. However, it's so imperceptible that no one thinks anything has happened at the time.

A few years later, people start trying to figure out why Bernstein became Bernstain. People try to explain this with "the Mandela effect," which is even stranger seeing as I can't find a single person who thought Mandela died in prison. Trump gets elected president. Stranger and stranger things keep happening and alot of people seem extremely sure that this isn't the same reality they were in before. As far as i can tell, there's not much talk like this previous to 2012, after which it explodes. It's just an idea I'm working on though, so it's not 100% yet.


TL;DR: CERN killed Schrödinger's cat and now we've all got to pay.


Edit: Mandela effect, not theory.
Great, CERN glitched the world. There's two possibilities now:

Artificial reality is disproven, because if this was just a simulation its results would be skewed by a glitch and that would be undesirable.

OR

Whoever or whatever runs the simulation has decided to let it keep running like a pokemon red player wanting to see just how far their missingno is gonna screw up the game world before it all crashes.

My parents and grandparents swore up and down that McCain released one of those forced "America is wrong for their operations overseas" videos while he was imprisoned, and refused to vote for him for that reason alone. I've yet to find any evidence of this online, but they all swear they've seen the "confession" video (decades before faking that kind of thing would be easy to fake). Either he flexed a LOT of political muscle to get all copies of his "confession" eradicated at least a decade before his presediential run, or something branched in reality. I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader which was more likely.
I still swear to this day that I once rented an official north american CARTRIDGE version of Mega Man The Wily Wars at the local video store, while today it's well-documented that it was only released on the sega channel in the US.
 

Spedestrian

Big business man sending lots of big emails
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The massive amount of malware and scams happening around are just a ploy from repressive countries like china to try and push a new version of the web that will be far more restrictive than what we have now, because of their pathological need to control everything people do, see and hear.
There's a shitload of malware going around because being able to rob and/or spy on people remotely offers high rewards with comparatively low risk. It's an appealing option for criminals, governments, and criminal governments alike. There's also much more public sharing/leaks of malware and exploits nowadays, so it's much easier for script kiddies to cut their teeth and progress their skills to the point where they become legit hackers.

The massive amount of scams are definitely a Chinese ploy, but it's not some 4D chess shit. Chinese people run scams in nearly everything because that's how their culture works. Their government is paranoid and controlling because they know the kind of shifty fuckers they're dealing with. They already have their own internet locked down behind the Great Firewall of China, so it's actually better for them if the rest of the internet stays open. It lets them keep making money off of scams and gives them access to more data to spy on.
 
I believe in a meta conspiracy that essentially ideology isn't really important and that good and evil exist with a gray mass between them to be molded or convinced. That most of the world tends to be ruled by sociopaths and their sycophants and that one should be primarily on guard for them and how they interact with each other and not for any ideological, geopolitical or social changes per sé. As such it is also most probably more important to vote for the person or characteristics of a movement/party at a certain time rather than its ideological underpinnings.

I've also started believing that some people are more awake than others and are more human than others. Following some theories of certain psychologists I think that most individuals are emotionally re-tard-ed and have not developed unique personalities but are most likely herd animals, the gray mass mentioned earlier. Most evil individuals most probably do not have the ability to develop a true personality, they are shells of men inhabited by wickedness.Allegorically we can refer to them as the reptiles whether using the nonsense of Ike or the far better adaptation of this theorem in the movie "They live" 1988.

I don't really think other conspiracies matter past this but one I think is relevant is the conspiracy alluded to in some German CDU speeches that the migrants being taken in are there (among other conspiratorial or non conspiratorial theories) to be used as a disposable work force for lower end jobs the Europeans no longer wish to do in a way that won't cause much trouble from unions as they tend not to organize and are desperate.
 
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kadoink

kiwifarms.net
Public education now exists to create a bottom line of society that is dependent on the state, and pattern children to accept the new caste system of weirdo liberal progressivism that is akin to a religion. All the bullshit conditioning to accept the magic genders is an attempt to have a generation completely subservient to the state because the states policies are aligned with the progressive stack.

Last 4 years we seen all these states setting up the gender neutral restrooms for the trannies and spending millions on these restrooms, seems like an awful lot of money to spend on what, 2% of the US population? Sure enough now we have more emphasis in elementary school and kidnergarden on being trans and how its like being jesus without the cross.

The whole "Magic: the gendering" bullshit spreading across US state schools, the entertainment industry, the comic industry is just there to have a generation thats so fragile they're dependent on the state and can't approach an argument on a critical level and are eternally limited to emotional responses from people who will be too scared to ask tough questions, create more problems for western society economically, and then when no one is look BAM! The Chinese move in.
 

The 8 of Spades

If Only You Knew How HONK HONK Things Really Are
kiwifarms.net
The whole "Magic: the gendering" bullshit spreading across US state schools, the entertainment industry, the comic industry is just there to have a generation thats so fragile they're dependent on the state and can't approach an argument on a critical level and are eternally limited to emotional responses from people who will be too scared to ask tough questions, create more problems for western society economically, and then when no one is look BAM! The Chinese move in.
@Ebonic Tutor, explain yourself.
 

Ebonic Tutor

"Shitposting at any cost."
kiwifarms.net
@Ebonic Tutor, explain yourself.
I really need to file a DMCA against that don't I?


The LHC at CERN, 2012: The Higgs-Boson discovery. Considering what kind of powers we were fucking with, I don't believe it's completely wrong to think there's a possibility that we created forces that we aren't even aware existed while completing this experiment. My idea is that we observed one of the underpinnings of physical reality and caused a wave function collapse, all while surrounded by a massive amount of power, and this changed something about our reality. However, it's so imperceptible that no one thinks anything has happened at the time.
777103



Sept 30th 2008 is the date I think, it's around the time I started hearing about the Mandela Effect even.
 
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yahooligan

web 1.0 newfag
kiwifarms.net
My conspiracy theory? Dr. Suporn retired to a private island, filled with only the best trannies. He was planning for his retirement all along...

Not much of a conspiracy, mind you, though it explains why he cranked so many of 'em out.

Edit: Also, Elvis and Tupac are on Tranny Island.
 

HolocaustDenier

MEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
kiwifarms.net
Vegetables aren't healthy at all and are the cause of most modern diseases (mental diseases especially, our brains need saturated animal fat). We stepped out of the Garden when we stopped living by the moon (hunting and gathering) started living by the sun (agriculture). We only need animal products .

Global warming is a HOAX. Co2, at .04% is no factor in any warming the Earth may have. Methane gets oxidized by the atmosphere into CO2 and water vapor and is 2 ppm, hence not a factor. NASA and NOAA have fabricated, altered, and erased valid data to fit their narrative of global warming. The human factor in global warming is irrelevant, most people will die in the next glacial period and climate will reset
 
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Lensherr

kiwifarms.net
Bigfoot sightings are the result of a large, undiscovered bipedal primate living in the North American wilderness. However, the reason that its existence has not been proven to the public at large is due to cover-ups by the U.S. government and other institutions. Take the case of the Minnesota Iceman for example:
Basically, what happened was that the body was examined by three trained scientists who all came to the conclusion that it was legitimate, but the Smithsonian wouldn't give it a hearing and the guy hid the body away and replaced it with a replica made by the guy who worked on the Planet of the Apes films.
I believe that the reason why its existence is being covered-up is partially to protect it from poachers and others who would do it harm, but also to prevent any sort of mass panic in the public at large that would result from the confirmed existence of such a creature, i.e., they'd be less willing to spend time and money going to national parks for fear of encountering it. Because the government has a financial stake in these parks, they'd also at least partially be acting out of self-interest to protect their profit margin.
 
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I Love Beef

お前はもう。。。。満でるー!!!!
kiwifarms.net
Anime fan stuff, but still....

*Nobuhiko Watsuki was set up by Shonen Jump and Yakuza, to bolster My Hero Academia because of the superhero trend. Think about it. Overseas, in Japan, people now eat Marvel shit up more than their own manga, and I can't say enough about the Marvel Cinematic Universe and how big and profitable it is here. Outside of the Japanese bubble however, for years, Marvel has been utterly dragging its mangled and greviously injured corpse along the road behind since the Comics Book Crash of 1996, the coming of Comicsgate, and video games, manga and anime utterly filling in its spot and took away all of its profit opportunities upon the late 1990s. Rurouni Kenshin is pretty fucking big too in anime circles; it's probably one of the defining series of anime and manga of its era, and is heralded as one of the best series representative of the best of anime and manga has to offer. Not as big as Dragon Ball Z, but for many it's a premiere and go to mature series that everyone loves for its historic romantic and exotic flavorings.

However, come into the early 2010s. The Rurouni Kenshin movie series was a smash success, and eventually, the Marvel Cinematic Universe shows major signs of getting big. My Hero Academia is Shounen Jump's next up and coming series post Naruto and Bleach. Toriko isn't doing so hot overseas, and what also doesn't help is the post 2008 global recession and aspiring mangaka in the nation facing a shitton of hurdles and a narrow beginning foundation that guarantees a very harrowing success rate with mangaka publications. Suddenly, The Avengers explodes, and the MCU is literally tossed money at. My Hero Academia suddenly seems "profitable".... Who to turn to? The Yakuza and the Cops. Within history, it's been evidenced that they work hand in hand with each other to keep the peace, but it's also known that Yakuza also are shareholders, and I'm sure they've been very interested in the manga and anime market for their stocks, with Shounen Jump being long term partners very familiar with them. Jump reads the news one day about the Hollywood market and see the superheroes are now big again, and get to thinking "gee, maybe My Hero Academia will be big in the US too." Problem is, manga and anime is "too distinct"; "too anime", with "too much identity and recognizable figures that will detract people who know the difference".

What's their solution they present then, when the Yakuza crash the next shareholder meeting? "Cut off a finger to save the hand."

Watsuki is also likely a willing participant to this as well. He is a fan of Marvel and X Men. I also call bullshit on his pedo charges because the guy has a wife and suddenly, in all of the years of him being a public figure, he buys "child porn" behind everyone's back? Either he's been one lucky fucker or that shit was planted, I'm sorry, that's the only fucking way. I find the only reason why his possession charges were made was because 1. Him being caught with something atrocious would be enough to help slander him and his works so that they could make My Hero Academia popular with downsizing the popularity of his works, but not outright make him a monster and 2. If a major figurehead of anime and manga hallmark history was now out of the way with his work now standing on more gray and still profitable ground, they could make more commercial room for newer and "more relevant" talent. I'm fairly sure that Watsuki agreed to this, followed in, and walked out. Anyone else who would be caught in something like this would likely get a greater sentence than he did.

Point out holes. Talk shit. Get me to think. It's not perfect but it's too fucking suspect.
 
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