What dead celebrity would have a thread here if they were still around today? -

SITHRAK!

ESL teenager spouting gibberish and angry words.
kiwifarms.net
I can finally say it!
Phil Spector.
Edit: Oh, and just adding to the shitpile: Andrea ‘Dumptruck’ Dworkin, porn-hating feminist extraordinaire.
B523A5C8-900C-4A12-89F1-557FC8225EC1.jpeg
 
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Frank D'arbo

It is 5 am and You are Listening to Los Angeles
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

Lunete

I'm not watching you...
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Catherine of Siena (a medieval mystic now regarded as a catholic saint) claimed to be married to Jesus and that Christ gave her part of his foreskin as a wedding ring. She regularly refused food and allegedly sucked the pus out of the wounded.
Actually the entire Mystic movement would have made for an fun community watch thread as they were all pretty crazy.
 

Merrick

kiwifarms.net
Besides Mozart, who eles would be considered a lolcow?
I have a feeling that Schubert could be a cow due to his habits (not having any real relationships outside of prostitutes, drinking heavily with friends, being led around by the nose by Schober, leaving his glasses on while he slept, contracting syphilis, etc.), even though I greatly admire his work. He'd be a loveshy.

Schumann would be a skitzocow.

Chopin would be a cow - maybe dramacow.

Beethoven would probably be labeled as a dramacow and have his own halal thread after trying to a-log another composer repeatedly.

Wagner might halal himself in a similar fashion.

Debussy could be considered a cow for how he got his wife to marry him, and how he treated her - this is to say nothing of her suicide attempt and the scandal that followed.

As far as artists go, I'd recommend Toulouse-Lautrec as a user of this board.

Edward II would be a lolcow for fucking himself over with his wife Isabella and for giving power to the Despensers.

Queen Isabella and Ferdinand II of Castile - the former for torturing her daughter, Joanna of Castile (the Mad) with weights, and the latter for effectively usurping his daughter and claiming she was mentally ill.

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned Lavrentiy Beria, who would be a perfect horrorcow.
 
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Fareal

will definitely consider what you have said
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The problem is that the lollercoaster trajectory of most royalty, heads of state and senior political figures wasn‘t publicly available knowledge unfolding in real time, so the amazeballs BS of many of our suggestions couldn’t have sustained a trad KF thread.

However, luckily many well known figures made a massive arse of themselves in real time and in public, such as these:

Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson - the abdication crisis was a trainwreck followed eagerly by the British public in real time. MI6 was forced to investigate rumours she was a tranny for extra KF points and he was a Nazi sympathiser

Elizabeth Taylor - pains me because I love La Taylor but she was married eight times and engaged in some epic homewrecking to get to that figure. Liberated Eddie Fisher from Debbie Reynolds, causing Carrie Fisher to grow up in a broken home with a drunk ma. Fought with Richard Burton so much they actually divorced and remarried. Had probably the greatest collection of non-royal bling of all time. Tanked one of the comparatively most expensive movies of all time. Spent older years with AIDS riddled homosexuals and Michael childfucker Jackson.

Richard Burton - One of the greatest actors of his generation; break off thread from La Taylor’s above. Drank like the Gunt but remained exceptionally talented and handsome unlike Gunt.

Oscar Wilde - Kanye like figure whose unquestioned genius was backed up by a legit trainwreck of a private life that ended him in jail for bumming. Spirit and health absolutely broken by Reading jail.

Myra Hindley and Ian Brady - Moors Murderers. Still iconic figures of hatred in British society decades after their child murder and torture spree. The cassette tape they recorded of themselves torturing and raping Lesley Anne Downey before killing her, whilst playing Christmas music in the background, was played in full to the jury who the judge then ordered counselling should be made available for. Repeatedly taken on walkabouts on the Moors to identify the spots where the children‘s bodies were dumped. Never parted with any useful information. Would be subject of A&N thread with all time highs of alogging. If you can alog this pair.

Ted Bundy - Handsome! Charming! Fucking insane! Escaped custody TWICE during his Rape N Murder Tour of the US. Allowed to represent himself repeatedly in court on television. Journalists shot the shit with him like he was some kind of star during breaks from cross examining those witnesses who had barely survived his savage attempts on their life. Attracted a vast cult of hybristophilic lunatics and even married the principal one in a courtroom stunt during statements in mitigation after one conviction. Would be used as waifu avatar by posters in a Happenings thread longer than the George Floyd one

King John - Probablee ye shyttest Kinge of all tyme. Lost ye grate Empire of France to ye Incest Guntlinge Philip II of France. Known for Crueltie, Excessive Taxes, excommunication by ye Most Holy Father Pope Innocent III. Shyte Pushed In by ye Barons and Grate Lordes of Merrie England so hard He was Forced to sign ye olde Magna Carta restricting ye Powers of the Royal Prerogative. Historie Dothe Recorde the Royal Shyte also be Pushed In by ye Famed Bandit and Outlawe Robin of Hood. Shat Himself to his Royal Death of ye dysentry whilst losing ye Civil uprising to the Barons.
 
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verygayFrogs

kiwifarms.net
I have a hunch that had the Columbine High School shooters not offed themselves we would've gotten an entire thread about their edgy neoliberal twitter antics and potential mass murder plannings and what not.
Jeffery Epstein would most certainly have a horrorcow thread.
Margaret Thatcher. It's a shame the bitch didn't die 87 years ago.
Mark Twain would definitely be some kind of shitposter, ngl.
Also, that one Japanese cult whose leader tried to run for prime minister would probably get its own Community Watch thread.
Kinda? One was a sociopath and the other one was so depressed he just went with it. And they fucked up the wiring of their own bombs.
They originally had bombs in the cafeteria which were supposed to go off during breakfast/lunch which would’ve killed 600+. The guns they had were meant to pick off the fleeing survivors. Then when police, crews and fire showed up the bombs in their cars were to go off killing them as well. Eric said he wanted to make OKC look like a fucking joke
 

soy_king

I am the Prom King, I seethe at everything
kiwifarms.net
King John - Probablee ye shyttest Kinge of all tyme. Lost ye grate Empire of France to ye Incest Guntlinge Philip II of France. Known for Crueltie, Excessive Taxes, excommunication by ye Most Holy Father Pope Innocent III. Shyte Pushed In by ye Barons and Grate Lordes of Merrie England so hard He was Forced to sign ye olde Magna Carta restricting ye Powers of the Royal Prerogative. Historie Dothe Recorde the Royal Shyte also be Pushed In by ye Famed Bandit and Outlawe Robin of Hood. Shat Himself to his Royal Death of ye dysentry whilst losing ye Civil uprising to the Barons.
Richard II was probably more shite. Total artfag and pissed off his lords so much that he basically destroyed his own dynasty. King John had the badass William Marshal to back him up, and would've probably won in the end, like his equally shit son Henry III did.
 

Truthboi

The True and Honest Man
kiwifarms.net
I think Dante Alighieri would have a thread because if he were around today he'd definitely post on twitter a lot from a-logging against the people he disagreed with on twitter, simp for a woman he barely knew like how Moviebob and Quinton Reviews simped for Lindsay Ellis, he'd also go on tirades how certain places need to be destroyed like how Moviebob wants to destroy the Red States, and act like an autist around the poets/philosophers he idolized
 
If not been listed

William S Burroughs, he deserves it, killed his wife 'accidentally ' , degen junkie, queer (Inc nonce card), mad into guns, one the heirs to the Burroughs Adding Machine.

Ted Bundy, ultimate pick up artist, and the trial alone...

Simone de Beauvoir. Nazi collaborator and nonce. That could be how many titty streamers?
 
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