What dead celebrity would have a thread here if they were still around today? -

[Yuuichirou Kumada]

Diego Armando Maradona.
Son of a bitch ran his mouth on anything and everything, simply because he was "El Pibe de Oro, World Champion, Scorer of the Goal of the Century" and whatnot. Tried (and mostly failed) to be everything under the sun, including talk show host, sports commentator, impresario and football coach. Rather ugly history of spousal abuse. Had a bastard son in Italy that he never recognized. Drank and snorted to legendary levels, and definitely contributed to his death last year. Leaked photos of him stoned off his gourd, fucking possibly underaged Cuban hookers, and snorting coke off a hooker's ass. Supposedly commie, but sold his image to anything that paid big bucks. Personal friends with scum-of-the-earth types like Fidel Castro, Hugo Chávez and Carlos Menem.

And as a matter of fact, all of Argentina served as his enablers. At one point he even had a literal church-like cult. Don't you dare talk shit about him over there, because you will be scorned out of the country.

 

[Niggernerd]

Chris farley.
The name chris is synonymous with lolcow
Also lol fat

 

[Lady of the House]

Chris farley.
The name chris is synonymous with lolcow
Also lol fat

John Belushi too, another fat junkie
Along with
- Christopher Hitchens
- All of the beat poets and french intellectuals for being junkie nonces
- Dennis Hopper (talented but batshit insane)
- Rainer Werner Fassbinder would have an entire German subforum dedicated to him
-The Marchesha Luisa Casati
-The New York Dolls back in the day (especially Johnny Thunders)
-The Collyer Brothers (famous insane hoarders who may or may not have been fucking)
-Paul Gaugin
-Carl Tanzler and his Cuban corpse
- The Mitfords
-Nico, probably Lou Reed during the 60s-80s too
-Peter Sellers
-Andy Warhol and the rest of the factory
I'll add more when I can think of other dead lolcows

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Faye Duna-oh wait.
Amy Winehouse
The dead guys from Stone Temple Pilots
That one comedian who died in like 2010 (?) he was always at Comedy Central Roasts

 

[BrunoMattei]

Klaus Kinski would be a fascinating one.

 

[Thomas Highway]

Charles Bukowski.

 

[Pale Empress]

Despite being one of my personal heroes, Art Bell definitely fits the bill as others have mentioned. For those unfamiliar, he was the creator and original host of iconic late night paranormal talk show Coast To Coast AM.

-Life-long case of yellow fever to the point he abandoned his wife and kids to marry an asian "water witch," his kids absolutely loath him, even in death
-Regularly platformed and indulged disproven sheisters and con artists and never called them on their bullshit
-Pillhead to the point that he blacked out on the air numerous times, especially towards the end of his career
-"Retired" countless times since the late 90s and always eventually returned to broadcasting
-Wife died under mysterious circumstances related to "asthma," promptly married a filipino mail order bride fifty years younger than him a matter of weeks later
-Hugely autistic fanbase filled with schizos and stalkers, eventually retired a couple of years before his death because fans were coming to his house and literally peeking through his windows

There's a ton more, including the time his son got kidnapped and anally raped by an AIDS ridden PE teacher, his "quickening" predictions, and the side characters that emerged from the show (Richard C Hoagland definitely comes to mind).

After his death there was a bunch of drama related to his hand-picked (and probable sidepiece) successor and the online network they used to broadcast on, I didn't bother to follow that shit because what's the point of an Art Bell styled show without Art Bell.

 

[Ed Special]

Kinda surprised nobody's mentioned Princess Diana (except as an accessory to Freddie Mercury a few pages back). Kinda easy to forget now, but she was definitely at the center of a lot of drama in her time, and there's still plenty of people who swear up and down that Queenie had her killed.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Charlie Chaplin maybe.
He was in a mental asylum as a 14 year old.
A lot of acting
Did a satire of hitler
3 of his 4 wives were teens. 2 were 16, 1 was 18. The third wife (chronologically) lied about her age to get him interested.
Yes, she lied about being 17, when she was 22.

I have a feeling if chaplin lived today he'd be metooed or somewhere here.

That was pretty average age of marriage for a woman back than. Marriage ages wouldn't change until the 50's when people started dating people closer to their age and getting married. That's mostly because sex outside of marriage became more common. It should also be known that in the 50-60's you could be looked over for a promotion if you weren't married, chances are you would be looking for someone who you either worked with (which was frowned on) or someone your co-workers knew like a family member or close friend.

 

[proudmethhead]

I'd say David Carradine if he survived autoerotic asphyxiation he had done previous shit but that one is the funniest

 

[Pointless Pedant]

That was pretty average age of marriage for a woman back than. Marriage ages wouldn't change until the 50's when people started dating people closer to their age and getting married. That's mostly because sex outside of marriage became more common. It should also be known that in the 50-60's you could be looked over for a promotion if you weren't married, chances are you would be looking for someone who you either worked with (which was frowned on) or someone your co-workers knew like a family member or close friend.

That's true. In the worst parts of the south the laws didn't change until into the 21st century, a few years ago. 10 year old girls married adult men in Tennessee in 2001.

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/r...s/news-story/bc321cbcb9278d140ec984fd7ed01a59

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

That's true. In the worst parts of the south the laws didn't change until into the 21st century, a few years ago. 10 year old girls married adult men in Tennessee in 2001.

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/r...s/news-story/bc321cbcb9278d140ec984fd7ed01a59

Some States don't even have an age to get married still. California comes to mind. It's really no wonder why so many sex pests live there.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

Some States don't even have an age to get married still. California comes to mind. It's really no wonder why so many sex pests live there.

Judicial consent is required though and I doubt it's really given much anymore. I haven't heard of any cases that bad in the last few years there.

 

[Jarolleon]

Iemitsu Tokugawa literally killed all of his father's staff so he could have his gay sex partners closer to him, so killing smart people on your team seems to be fairly universal when it comes to shit rulers.

Sounds like that's the way to become a truly shit ruler. Otherwise your bad decisions get mitigated by smart people further down the chain of command.

 

[Syaoran Li]

I think Sid Vicious would have a lolcow thread for sure

 

[Danny T.]

Ayn Rand

Absolutely. Ever wonder why hypercapitalist philosophers, the one who think that money and wealth should rule the world without any pesky state restrictions, are all Jewish? Ayn Rand, Milton Friedman, and Ludwig von Mises are just some examples. Many such cases!

Hell, that doesn't just apply for philosophers, there's even a lolcow -who doesn't have a thread (yet)- who's hypercapitalist and Jewish. If no one minds, I'd like to drift away from the original point of the thread to take some time to introduce KF to this individual.

KiwiFarms, say hello to Sebastián Izquierdo (also known as "el Cacas"), a far-right Chilean activist who runs a larper organization called "Revolutionary Capitalism". He's gained fame among Spanish speakers for constantly begging for money from strangers online and shitting his pants whenever he gets doxed. Hell, his home address by itself has become a meme at this point. There's tons of more lore on him, but, going back to my original point...

His dad's full name is Felipe Augusto Izquierdo Bergmann, and he's stated on his webpage that his grandmother was the Ashkenazi-descended model Bettina Bergmann Bergmann.

He currently lives at Nataniel Cox 1302, DP 601 in Parque O'Higgins, Santiago and his Chilean identity number is 16.811.751-5.

Contact me if you're planning on making a thread on him, I've been fucking dying to see him on the Internaional Clique.

 

[CWCissey]

Jimmy Savile.

It would function exactly like the Nick Bate thread.

 

[66andtwothirds]

anna nicole smith
gg allin
kurt cobain (would probably have trooned tbh)
michael jackson (would DEFINITELY have trooned)
freddie mercury
liz taylor