What dead celebrity would have a thread here if they were still around today? -

Trigger Me Timbers

Reformed Kekistani
kiwifarms.net
Jim Henson because all he ever did was fist stuffed animals and make people watch.
Didn’t he also refuse lifesaving blood transfusions because he was a Jehovah’s Witness or some shit? Mega Lolcow.

Salvador Dali had a lot of weird shit he was up to, walked like a pimp, had a pet anteater, threw exotic animals as women to scare them and paid his restaurant bills with sketches.
 

Albert Ball

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Pete Burns, the lead singer of Dead or Alive.
Thats a good one! I actually heard the "Dope" cover of "Spin me Right Round" on the radio earlier today.

Howard Hughes - He was definitely a smart guy, but his OCD would cause him to do some very odd things, especially later in life. Towards the end he lived in the top floor of a Vegas hotel with his Morman staff and numerous girlfriends. After the owner became frustrated with him staying so long, Hughes simply bought the hotel. He later also bought the hotel across the street, for the simple reason to tear down its neon sign, which kept him awake at night. When he finally died he was almost unrecognizable, they had to use dental records to confirm his identity.
 

Illiterate Wanderer

kiwifarms.net
Marquis de Sade: Degenerate writer, finding a new rock bottom every day to pedo-rape cannibalism. Criminal.
Murray Rothbard: Father of Anarcho-capitalism and the Left-libertarians who a-log him.

Maybe you could mix in George Carlin but that might be more fitting as a part of the Euphoric atheists thread.
Socrates was the OG lolcow, at least according to Aristophanes.
I've heard that Socrates had a high verbal IQ but his eyes bulged which fucked with people, he once tried to cover for it by of course having a dialogue about "What is beauty?"
 

kadoink

kiwifarms.net
Gene Siskel. He was the original moral authoritarian of entertainment reviews. His sperging out of the slasher genre in the 1980s was cringey as hell, while Ebert wasn't much better he did from time to time appreciate types of slasher horror films. But Nothing can top Gene Siskel sperging out at actress Betsy Palmer for being in Friday the 13th in his paper review and ending with by posting her mailing address for people to condem her for being in such a lowly piece of trash like a slasher film. Gene was one of the original doxers too.
 

discombobulate

kiwifarms.net
Daniel David Palmer, the guy who started chiropractic, and the early chiropractors at large. Palmer wouldn't have called himself the "inventor" necessarily, because he believed he had learnt it from the ghost of a doctor who died before Palmer was born. Palmer had bought into all of the new age medicine claptrap that was popular in the late 19th century; before chiropractic he made his living doing magnetic healing.

The whole idea of chiropractic is that pretty much anything wrong with a person, not just physical but also intellectual and moral, is the result of misalignment of the spine. That's why Palmer opposed most normal medicine, including vaccines. He would absolutely have had stupid slapfights all over the internet.

He also had a very bad but also close relationship with his son B.J., whom he had taught chiropractic. His son resented him for his abusive and distant behavior. They both considered the practice religious, but chose not to register because they didn't want it to be conflated with the other weird new religious-medical practices of the day (like Christian Science). D.D. Palmer had established a school and B.J. took over later. B.J. retooled the school a bit to focus on churning out students for money and changed the underlying philosophy some, which D.D. hated. B.J. also incorporated some mainstream diagnostic techniques, which D.D. also hated. He publicly criticized his son for both methodology and philosophy, a big deal due to the whole "religious" thing. A few years later, D.D. died a few months after being hit by a car, driven by B.J. In the interim, he had filed suit against his own son for the incident. A lot of people believe it was intentional but B.J. wasn't ever charged.

D.D. and B.J. were "straight," which meant that they didn't use tools in their practice. "Mixers," which popped up almost immediately after D.D. graduated his first students, use tools and quickly became the most numerous chiropractors. Each group set up their own organizations to fight each other in the public eye and the two groups still despise each other.
 

Pizdec

Blin it is good.
True & Honest Fan
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Freddie Mercury. The interview his jolted former manager/lover did was only a fraction of the alleged debauchery Freddie and company got into. Other antics Freddie got into were:

- Midgets going around his parties with trays of coke on their head.

- Constant gay orgies. The dude got blown between songs.

- That time he threw a brick into one of his manager's windows after said manager got up from a dinner they were having, and told Freddie off for doing an interview when he wasn't supposed to (Queen at the time constantly was being shat on for being posh, so they were told not to do interviews.)

- He took Princess Diana, with Diana dressed in drag, to a gay bar.
 

Kled

Don't you bite me again!
kiwifarms.net
Sigmund Freud probably
Freud would have been halal'd within a month of joining and you can't convince me otherwise.

My choices would be Easy E, Richard Pryor (had to put coke on his dick to keep an erection), Nixon (skitzoposter) and Joe Kennedy. Out of all of them though, Nixon would easy have a 3k+ page thread with him trying to argue with anyone who has the word fag in their post even if it didn't refer to him. Joe would constantly post DMCAs to Null and Pryor would make Cher tier tweets about the Farms.
 

Florence Sargent

sorry, no uglies allowed.
kiwifarms.net
If Oscar Wilde was around today he'd be a reality tv star on TLC with a Sister Wives variety show. You can't tell me that with the modernity of today that he wouldn't have roped Boise, Robbie and Constance into some weird poly setup. Even back then he thought he was the hottest shit to walk on planet earth. Can you imagine that ego with twitter?

He'd be such a fucking faggot and we were absolutely robbed. :'(
 

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