What game do you wish Phil would play? - AKA best future TIHYDP material?

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Kanna

Flower~!
kiwifarms.net
I want the masturbating cowboy to play the Shenmue series, but I also don't want to torture the trolls as they sift through decades of videos to find something funny, while he can't even figure out basic clues.
 

Malagor the dank omen

Drakwald's most coveted goat
kiwifarms.net
He went back and finished the game at some point.
Holy shit, for real? I will have to look that up like when someone told me he finally finished Persona 5 after Atlus' copyright strike.
Now if it's the ultra-rare tutorial Shambler, regular shambler or better Brigand Vulf. DD is fucking majestic at bringing salt, DSP would have been sodomized badly, he would be Casca after the Eclipse.
The regular Shambler would be good, but it would be better if it was surprise Dark Run Shambler (on veteran quests has a 15% chance of appearing if your torch is down to 0) or the DLC bosses. Just think about how many heroes he would lose to the Crimson Court or to the Miller... That is unless Stream Chat daddy holds his hand, which is very likely.
He already played them. Not even that long ago.
It was amazing to see him playing Shenmue, and he was quite fucking bad at it too. The most important highligh is the new "Thanks for the money, dummy" that came out of it.
 

Tatu Carreta2

kiwifarms.net
I dont know if this has been said before on this thread (I dont know how to use the search funcion properly) but I would like to see him play League Of Legends since its a game I used to play and I was fairly good at (I used to be diamond one,thats like 0.5% best players in the server) and I would like to pick on his excuses.

I wouldnt expect him to be good at the game since MOBAs have hundreds of abilities and like 100 characters so unless you have been playing for a long time of course you are going to be bad,but I would like to see him pick a champion that is out of the meta,buy all the wrong items,level up the wrong abilities, go alone against the entire enemy team,die and then complain about how his teams sucks and he did everything correct. Also I want to hear him to complain about lag and his abilities not coming out in a game where no one ever has lag issues.
 

Malagor the dank omen

Drakwald's most coveted goat
kiwifarms.net
I dont know if this has been said before on this thread (I dont know how to use the search funcion properly) but I would like to see him play League Of Legends since its a game I used to play and I was fairly good at (I used to be diamond one,thats like 0.5% best players in the server) and I would like to pick on his excuses.

I wouldnt expect him to be good at the game since MOBAs have hundreds of abilities and like 100 characters so unless you have been playing for a long time of course you are going to be bad,but I would like to see him pick a champion that is out of the meta,buy all the wrong items,level up the wrong abilities, go alone against the entire enemy team,die and then complain about how his teams sucks and he did everything correct. Also I want to hear him to complain about lag and his abilities not coming out in a game where no one ever has lag issues.
Same but with DOTA 2 (4.5K MMR back in the day). The average person will need to play for roughly 100 hours before learning how everything in the game (map, items, paths, ward positions, etc...) works properly with a few heroes of choice depending on how you play (Hard support here). As well, anyone worth their salt knows that Valve recommended guides are a pile of shit and you better make your own item and skill guides rather than fuck up big time buying something awfully expensive that has no usefulness to your hero.

And don't forget him dying to neutrals (jungling), diving towes to get the kill, stealing farm from the carry and not helping in teamfights/pushing. And let's not forget other potential braindead team members.
 

Pargon

He don't
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This is such a hard question because Phil doesn't even rage at games anymore, just his chat or old man things, so you can't count on something to reliably piss him off. And you can't expect a game with a good amount of variety or different modes to make things interesting because as we've seen with MLB he'll just zero in on the path of least resistance and limp along that for fifty hours while whining about low participation.

I guess if I had to chain him to a game until he finished it I'd choose something like Silent Hill 4: The Room, and then make him play it with his precious laptop facing away from him and his phone's data switched off. He'd be near tears in less than two hours.
 

Malagor the dank omen

Drakwald's most coveted goat
kiwifarms.net
This is such a hard question because Phil doesn't even rage at games anymore, just his chat or old man things, so you can't count on something to reliably piss him off. And you can't expect a game with a good amount of variety or different modes to make things interesting because as we've seen with MLB he'll just zero in on the path of least resistance and limp along that for fifty hours while whining about low participation.

I guess if I had to chain him to a game until he finished it I'd choose something like Silent Hill 4: The Room, and then make him play it with his precious laptop facing away from him and his phone's data switched off. He'd be near tears in less than two hours.
He already played Silent Hill 4 and he raged quite a lot because he died like a bitch a lot of times in the beginning as he tried to fight every enemy he found. It was later when he started to just run from enemies, but even with that he got fucked a lot of the time. Then, the apartment got haunted and he didn't knew how to get rid of the hauntings which made him rage even more.

Also, Sekiro got a decent amount of rage from him. Mainly Lady Butterfly and the Guardian Ape made him bitch inmensely , and also most minibosses.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Alien v. Predator 2 would've been a good game for the Pig of even 2015-2016 for me. Mainly because I'd love to watch as he gets yeeted by facehuggers or get confused climbing walls as an alien.
 

Shambler

kiwifarms.net
Holy shit, for real? I will have to look that up like when someone told me he finally finished Persona 5 after Atlus' copyright strike.

The regular Shambler would be good, but it would be better if it was surprise Dark Run Shambler (on veteran quests has a 15% chance of appearing if your torch is down to 0) or the DLC bosses. Just think about how many heroes he would lose to the Crimson Court or to the Miller... That is unless Stream Chat daddy holds his hand, which is very likely.

It was amazing to see him playing Shenmue, and he was quite fucking bad at it too. The most important highligh is the new "Thanks for the money, dummy" that came out of it.
correct me if im wrong but don't people just go missing if they die on the farmstead? or is that only during the endless run of farmstead
 

Malagor the dank omen

Drakwald's most coveted goat
kiwifarms.net
correct me if im wrong but don't people just go missing if they die on the farmstead? or is that only during the endless run of farmstead
Yes, they go missing and reappear after a while in the hamlet only in endless run (if you have the "Kill the Miller" objective they will die for good). But Phil would not know this until it happened, which would make him assblasted at first.
 

Shambler

kiwifarms.net
Yes, they go missing and reappear after a while in the hamlet only in endless run (if you have the "Kill the Miller" objective they will die for good). But Phil would not know this until it happened, which would make him assblasted at first.
oh he'll get ass blasted for sure, he'll read some guide and without fact checking fully expect his characters to survive
 

Marsaudiac

kiwifarms.net
Morrowind might be one of the most Philproof games ever to come out of a current, mainstream game series. In fact, I'm surprised he hasn't even touched it yet considering its availability on Xbox One.

If you haven't played it, the combat looks like Oblivion/Skyrim but plays completely differently by rolling dice to hit every time you hit the button, leading to constant misses if you have low weapon skills. On top of that, instead of quest markers, the game expects you to pay attention to unvoiced dialogue, written navigational directions, street signs, etc. I doubt he'd even be able to finish the first main quest.
 

Wurstbrot

This was my depression
kiwifarms.net
If there's any one recent meme game I would love to see Phil play its Cooking Simulator.

Basically you make dishes in a kitchen and its roughly realistic. There are monitors for recipes to follow and a variety of stations.


I absolutely 100% need to see Chef Phil flail about.
I was about to make fun of a potential scenario here, until I looked up the game. It actually looks like a fun experience, bugs and fiddly controls ignored.
Now I have to ask, can you create your own meals? Like for example Authentic Italian Meatball Sauce™?
 

DiabeticSP

kiwifarms.net
I was about to make fun of a potential scenario here, until I looked up the game. It actually looks like a fun experience, bugs and fiddly controls ignored.
Now I have to ask, can you create your own meals? Like for example Authentic Italian Meatball Sauce™?
Unfortunately atm you have to create meals following a recipe guide. It does have a sandbox mode but the game wouldn't be able to give feedback on his dish (only because seeing him get two stars for 'too much sugar, not enough tomato' would be funny).

Its got just the right amount of jank to be a good stream game, it's been popular with Jerma/Vinny/etc.

You can cheese the game with things like Jerma's floor soup too (making lots it soup ahead of time and leaving it in bowls all over the floor) so the entertainment as a stream meme game are high if you aren't Phil.
 

Malagor the dank omen

Drakwald's most coveted goat
kiwifarms.net
Morrowind might be one of the most Philproof games ever to come out of a current, mainstream game series. In fact, I'm surprised he hasn't even touched it yet considering its availability on Xbox One.

If you haven't played it, the combat looks like Oblivion/Skyrim but plays completely differently by rolling dice to hit every time you hit the button, leading to constant misses if you have low weapon skills. On top of that, instead of quest markers, the game expects you to pay attention to unvoiced dialogue, written navigational directions, street signs, etc. I doubt he'd even be able to finish the first main quest.
Not only that, but also many small details that he will not pay attention to, like for example killing a guard while you resist arrest doesn't count as murder, you can insult people into attacking you and killing them and not being a murderer, that the lower your stamina the lower your hit chances are (like the hobo with an enchanted dagger in the sewers of Vivec can kill the entire city guard by herself), the fact that the best trainer NPCs are hostile bandits, that traders will not trade with you if you have moon sugar or skooma in your inventory or that Ordinators will attack you on sight if you wear their chestpiece or their helmets.
 

Shambler

kiwifarms.net
someone tell phil if he pre-orders The Sinking City he gets a free skillpoint, 2 day early access and what looks like a nice gun that will carry him through the game, and a free sherlock holmes game
 
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