• "if you ever feel bad for yourself just remember you're not as sad as the dudes on kiwifarms"

What game do you wish Phil would play?AKA best future TIHYDP material?

Discussion in 'Phil Burnell & The Empire of Dirt' started by Son of Big Boss, Dec 2, 2017.

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@neger psykolog

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bzst8Sc9hrs

    He's also played Justice for All and PL vs. AA.
     
    A Witty Name

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  2. This is a man who can barely handle aim in CoD on console. A game which is infamous for hand holding auto aim on a fucking console. I cannot begin to imagine a game where he would have to somewhat aim using only his own skill.
     
    Pop-Tart

    Pop-Tart No™

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  3. Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

    That game requires a lot of planning and foresight. And some of the more random elements (i.e. skill inheritance, fusion accidents, ect.) would make him one salty motherfucker. Even if chat helps him, I doubt he would really put in the time and effort to try and make a bunch of different demons that fulfill all the necessary niches.

    I'd imagine he'd give up at either Matador or Thor.
     
    scorptatious

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  4. Halo 2 on Legendary. The Jackal Sniper salt alone would be enough for the next decade. Of course that mean he would have to get past Cairo Station first and despite that being the first real level I doubt he could even beat that.
    Other than that...I would have to go with Metroid Prime 2 Echoes. Mostly because he sucked even harder then usual on Metroid Prime and Echoes does not fuck around.
     
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  5. I wish Phil would play one of the Twisted Metal games, his complete inability to comprehend non-modern controls would render the play-through a bigger disaster than usual. I honestly doubt he get past any of the early levels without throwing a massive piss-fit.

    *Edit - just looked it up, turns out he played the 2012 one, no TIHYDP of it though.
     
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  6. The old Tony Hawk games. He did Skate back then and ragequit. Every sports game makes him rage pretty bad, especially the WWE games.
     
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    Pointandlaugh

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  7. I'd like to see him play God Eater, if he would even keep his yap shut long enough not to perv out over the ecchi designs.
     
    IceGray

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  8. Rollercoaster Tycoon 3.: Wild!

    Wild in of itself is kind of the redheaded stepchild of the RCT3 expansions because of how awkward the whole animal raising aspect of the game is, but there's one level in particular that would generate endless salt:

    Tiger fucking Forest.

    Inexplicably, you have to turn a golf estate into a fucking Panda farm. The kicker is that you have to generate a stupidly high amount of profit from selling Pandas and you don't get much by simply buying pandas, getting their health up, and then selling them. Nope, you gotta make those bastards pop out children and you need to make profit, so you can't just buy endless pandas and then sell the kids, because you have to earn back the money spent on pandas in the first place.

    Oh, but it gets better. Pandas are also the neediest high maintenance motherfuckers in the whole game when it comes to animals. Because you have to give them just enough space to make them happy, because not happy pandas won't fuck.

    And even when you finally DO get them to fuck, that's when the ultimate insult begins: the game requires you to wait THREE FUCKING IN-GAME YEARS for the kids to pop out. And there's a LOT that can go wrong in the mean time (when I played the level, I had a panda glitch into a tree and when I finally realized it and removed the tree, the fucking in-game PETA came in with a helicopter and stole the 'mistreated' Panda...and her unborn children. Thankfully my other panda gave birth to twins so I didn't have to wait a zillion hours all over again).

    And that's not even getting into the other ridiculous part of the level which is paying back a huge loan at 29.9% interest while also making ride profit milestones.

    Just the thought of Phil trying to tackle that level amuses me, because even if somehow, the chat is able to get Phil through the money management part, even if using the easy money cheat (name a guy John D Rockfeller, get a million bucks, and it's infinitely abuseable) to cheese the actual management portion, there's NO WAY to cheat at the Panda fucking. It's meticulously bullshit in trying to keep those Pandas happy long enough to sell their children and Phil would inevitably fuck it up due to it taking over an hour at minimum to achieve panda babies.

    Oh, God, KQV. The best part of that would be the silly DRM mechanic with the wall puzzle - which you can only solve if you have the information from the game manual.

    Phil would never learn this so even if he got that far, he'd legitimately hit DRM and chat couldn't really help him at all. He'd also never get the best ending regardless because like everybody says, he can't remember for shit and the genie lamp is a blink-and-you-miss it puzzle.
     
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    Optimus Prime

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  9. I'd love to see him play Ace Combat just to see what he crashes into.
     
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  10. There was a TIHYDP for Twisted Metal PS3, I remember watching it & fortunately archived it, seems to be from around December 2015 by a Ryoku75. I can't find it on his obvious channel or via YT search though. I'll see about getting 0utsyder to put it on his channel as another archived re-upload.
    upload_2017-12-6_7-14-46.png
     
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  11. DanceDanceRevolution
     
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  12. He actually did that (on I what I think is normal difficulty), and yes there is plenty of Jackal Sniper salt (even in just normal mode)
     
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    Pop-Tart

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  13. Wanna see him play European Universal 4 or Hearts of Iron 4, so many things that he needs to think on in those games they will drive him nuts!
     
    Dragoonism

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  14. Its been mentioned before, I'd love to see it too but only if he stops the gout rotting his brain so he actually learns a game rather than brute force it. So when hell freezes over
     
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  15. Something obscure like either the Megaman Battle Network or Star Force games will do nicely - in incurring the wrath of people who love these games to give Phil the rightful shit he deserves. Everyone wins guaranteed, if this ever happens.
     
    Shokew

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  16. Much obliged
     
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  17. To be honest, any game where you need to build your deck would be hilarious.

    His Battle Network deck would be total shit, he would just spam low level chips like Cannon or Bomb.

    Also, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories would be fun as well.
     
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    Son of Big Boss

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  18. Just to confirm, TIHYDP Twisted Metal PS3 has now been archived by 0utsyder. The original upload looked like that (4:3 but with letterboxed DSP video inside) so 0utsyder didn't fuck that up.
     
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  19. Honestly, another game I'd love to see Phil fuck up is the classic GoldenEye for the N64 or it's Wii remake. Mainly the former so he could try and bitch about the controller only having one thumbstick, alongside doing dumb shit like stand near explosives.
     
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    Adamska

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  20. The Train level and Cradle on the original would destroy him.
     
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    Pointandlaugh

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