WHAT I ATE ON VACATION - 08/09/2019 -

Bitchinista

kiwifarms.net
Sad. So sad. Food is her life and she's actually in a city that can cook up some decent meals, yet she sits in her hotel room and orders bottom of the barrel shit from delivery services. A 2-minute Yelp search on Lexington revealed tons of highly-reviewed cool local places serving up interesting meals in neat places like re-claimed warehouses, etc. Heck, I want to go to Lexington myself to try out some of these places:

OBC Kitchen (menu)
Blurb from website: "OBC Kitchen is a local, chef-driven restaurant that houses an extremely rare bourbon collection, eclectic craft beer selection and extensive wine list. Centuries-old, local barn wood surround guests as they enjoy high quality, distinctive dishes in a pub like atmosphere. The passionate staff fosters a spirit of hospitality and Kentucky heritage. OBC Kitchen was named after the counties that eventually became Kentucky; “Old Bourbon County” was stamped on bourbon barrels that floated down the Mississippi from Kentucky and became synonymous with the best bourbon in the U.S."

Middle Fork Kitchen Bar (menu)
Blurb from website: " Located in the historic james e pepper distillery, middle fork kitchen bar (mfkb) creates seasonal, creative fare, much of it, cooked over a live wood-burning fire. Owned & led in the kitchen by chef mark jensen, mfkb operates with creativity & passion. Throughout the menu, the restaurant is the culmination of the inspirations & influences from the past and present."

The Sage Rabbit (menu)
Blurb from website: Chef-owned, farm-to-table casual eatery serving
Hand made pasta, burgers, hand cut fries, salads, steaks, house desserts & craft cocktails

But no. Keep eating your Panda Express crap.
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
Sad. So sad. Food is her life and she's actually in a city that can cook up some decent meals, yet she sits in her hotel room and orders bottom of the barrel shit from delivery services. A 2-minute Yelp search on Lexington revealed tons of highly-reviewed cool local places serving up interesting meals in neat places like re-claimed warehouses, etc. Heck, I want to go to Lexington myself to try out some of these places:

OBC Kitchen (menu)
Blurb from website: "OBC Kitchen is a local, chef-driven restaurant that houses an extremely rare bourbon collection, eclectic craft beer selection and extensive wine list. Centuries-old, local barn wood surround guests as they enjoy high quality, distinctive dishes in a pub like atmosphere. The passionate staff fosters a spirit of hospitality and Kentucky heritage. OBC Kitchen was named after the counties that eventually became Kentucky; “Old Bourbon County” was stamped on bourbon barrels that floated down the Mississippi from Kentucky and became synonymous with the best bourbon in the U.S."

Middle Fork Kitchen Bar (menu)
Blurb from website: " Located in the historic james e pepper distillery, middle fork kitchen bar (mfkb) creates seasonal, creative fare, much of it, cooked over a live wood-burning fire. Owned & led in the kitchen by chef mark jensen, mfkb operates with creativity & passion. Throughout the menu, the restaurant is the culmination of the inspirations & influences from the past and present."

The Sage Rabbit (menu)
Blurb from website: Chef-owned, farm-to-table casual eatery serving
Hand made pasta, burgers, hand cut fries, salads, steaks, house desserts & craft cocktails

But no. Keep eating your Panda Express crap.
The thing is that she has zero interest in well prepared food. She cares about quantity, not quality. Her idea of haute cuisine is Cheesecake Factory. We joke about it, but that is the pinnacle of of the culinary mountain for her. I can't imagine her hunkering down to a beautifully prepared steak or truly savoring perfectly roasted veggies. I can't see her paying those prices for the pittance of food she gets. That's how she sees it anyway. She doesn't care how it tastes really as long as it's loaded with salt, fat and sugar and there is a metric ton of it. Those restaurants provide nothing that would pique her interest. They're too "fancy" for Becks anyway. Those aren't exactly the kinds of places to welcome basketball shorts, 90's Nickelodeon T's and snapbacks.
 

Bitchinista

kiwifarms.net
I'm almost 100% convinced she ate UberEats/Door Dash/whatever the entire time she was there. I don't think they left the hotel save to go to Target or the mall.
Did she even go inside the mall? When Becky was modeling her too-tight t-shirts from Spencer's AL was seeing them for the first time, giving away that she wasn't there at the time they were purchased.
 

Gorlax

kiwifarms.net
does she think that real dainty twenty-somethings, those girls who can walk and run and jump, who have healthy bmis and who don’t need help to wipe their asses, who will make it to see old age, does she genuinely think that those girls just eat everything and anything they want, whenever they want it?
I mean...let’s not be Humblynn here. I see a lot of kiwis constantly claiming “MOST people would have an apple for breakfast, MOST people don’t even eat dessert” and I don’t think that’s the case. At least in America, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who follows the food pyramid as they should or works out regularly. In my experience, it seems like most people do in fact eat whatever they’re craving when they’re craving it, whether it be an apple or White Castle.

The reason why we’re not all 600lbs though is because we also want other things, and those other things keep us preoccupied from stuffing our gullet in bed 24/7. You can’t very well hit up two Chinese buff-ettes in one day when you have a job, responsibilities, friends who would look at you crazy if you suggested going out to eat after you just did. On top of that we crave experiences with our food; a lot of people will only go out to eat if it’s with friends or family, or if it’s a new, well-reviewed place that’s caught their interest. But with Amber, everything involves consumption. Friends and family are means to more food. “Dates” with her special boy must involve food and hauls of cheap crap. She can’t even be bothered to experience cooking because she needs her food RIGHT NOW, at all times, no matter what kind of food it is. Anything and everything else is of no interest to her.

TL;DR because my sleep deprived brain is short circuiting, I don’t think she’s the only one who eats whatever she wants whenever she wants, I think a lot of people do. But food is the ONLY thing she wants, so she’s always eating and thus 600lbs of worthlessness.

is the batter edible?

For a dainty gorl perhaps not, but that ain't Big Al, is it?
That part totally slipped my mind lmao. It’s an official menu item, not to mention their specialty...and she claims she really thought it might not be edible. Like that is of any concern to this cow jesus christ she’s r.etarded
 

Strawberry Pocky

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
kiwifarms.net
Whether it is feeding or vlogging or shopping, Big Hamham has always been about Quantity > Quality. The thought alone of higher tier, delicious, finely crafted and prepared food would literally never enter into her dumb, fat simpleton mind. She's not capable of it. Why pay double the price for dishes she can't understand/comprehend and would be far far too small to satisfy her stretched-out, stadium sized stomach....when for a fraction of the cost she can gorge herself to bursting on buckets of white rice?

In classic deathfatty style, Hamber is also afflicted with pitiful, shitty burned-out tastebuds as well. Fine dining and gourmet cuisine is terrifying and alien and frightening to her. She tastes nothing and enjoys less....her garbage tongue and garbage palate register only salt and fat so she cares only about gulping down as much cheap, shitty refried breaded cardboard as possible. Taco Soupslop, anybody?

Imagine porking yourself to over 600 pounds and never once getting to feel and enjoy even halfway decent food along the way. Tragic.
 

ADHD

kiwifarms.net
In my experience, it seems like most people do in fact eat whatever they’re craving when they’re craving it, whether it be an apple or White Castle.

The reason why we’re not all 600lbs though is because we also want other things, and those other things keep us preoccupied from stuffing our gullet in bed 24/7.
And most people, even people with sedentary jobs, don't sit on their asses all day long. Amber's weight gain kicked into serious overdrive when she decided to retire to Pillow Mountain.
 

Keyboard Warrior

kiwifarms.net
Brave fellow Kiwis, I beg you don't do as I have done...I often watch Albert's vids on x0.25 speed purely because she sounds even more of a sped but DAMN I regret this one, it lidurlly can't be unheard 🙈🙉
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Yep Al I feel much the same 🤮
Amber having sex. Interesting. A blind person would NEVER know a chicken kebab is responsible for those sounds...
 

FrownyFace

:(
kiwifarms.net
There is definitely a vlog of her and Destiny sitting in the drive through window of Panda Express bitching about how long her Orange Chicken was taking. Can anyone put their finger on which one?

Go to 5:50. I’m stupid and don’t know how to time stamp. But here she is ordering orange chicken from Panda Express with Destiny. Def less time ago than the “over a decade” that Amber claimed.
 

justagorl

kiwifarms.net
I love that this humongous toddler essentially confessed to searching Uber eats like a picture book and ended up with a quart of brownie batter. That or she's pretending to be shocked to seem "dainty". Either way it's very difficult to believe that a 600lb bitch who spends her life on the internet (more than likely watching videos of "trendy" food on Instagram) couldn't piece together what a location called NoBake Cookie Batter sold.
 
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