WHAT I ATE TODAY!!!! - 8/10/20 -

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rainpetalseavesdrop

kiwifarms.net
1 Potato skin
1 chicken tender
3 pepperjack triangle things
1 dinner roll (Sure, Jan)
Salmon
Rice
Mac and cheese
Caramel pie
1,860

It's so crazy to her that all of that could come up to that may calories. Carbs, fried carbs, fried cheese, baked cheese, and sugar. My question is how many calories did she think she would be consuming? I thought she said she was the greatest human calorie calculator in the world.
 

rain and petals eavesdrop

Point Blank Period type deal situation moment
kiwifarms.net
She is disgusting. How many allotted calories is she giving herself? She is so obsessed with food. If you think about it what the hell else does she ever focus on besides food and losing weight. She and Becky have nothing going for them. They sit around all day coloring, playing video games and watching movies. Becky is like an obese Autistic 12 year old boy with a speech impediment and Amber is like her teenage mom.
 
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Moonpie

Ride the Lightening
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Anyone who is almost 600elbees saying carbs are good is fucking nuts.
That's why you've always been a major deformed fat ass.
When you gonna learn that you're known as a freak show?
What a life. Constantly consumed by food 24/7.
Sitting around coloring and playing vid games because you're both too lazy to do anything productive.
 

Slappy McGherkin

Bartender? Make that a double.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
You can thaw it in cold water, though.
This is the first rule of eating cheaply. Buy <whatever> on sale at the grocery, freeze it, then break it out and thaw it for multiple meals when needed.

I ain't talking about Hungry Man meals in a box. I'm talking about chickens, steaks, ribs, pork roast etc.

Gorl will never understand this concept. Too much work.

Spatchcock chickens marinated in Jerk. Total cost? $11.34 and we had tacos from them last night and great chicken salad and pasta for later this week.

Really, Hamber... it ain't that hard to eat healthy... and cheap. But you know what works for you and your tombstone epitaph.

Dance, monkey. Dance! Your ignorance is a constant source of amusement!

20200809_161609.jpg
 

Diet Coke 4 Life

When I peek, it is in the line of duty.
kiwifarms.net
How has nobody summarized this sack of shit yet?

0:00 ‘Hey guise!’ Well, that’s enthusiastic. Hey, AL.

0:10 Professes she woke up not that long ago, so she probably looks, like, super… tired. Her hair looks like shit, that’s for sure. Her sideburn that’s sticking off the side of the moon is looking greasy as fuck, and the rest looks like a rat nest. Plus her eyes are looking sunken in their dark sockets. Left side of her face right by her eye looks bruised. Gorl, you ain’t lookin’ good, that’s for sure, and it’s not ‘tired.’ It’s just ‘bad.’ Oh yeah, and then she professes she looks tired because she is. How? You’re on Pillow Mountain Redux, so you should be sleeping like a fucking baby! You sleep more than a cat! How can you still be tired?!

0:15 FFS, now she’s talking bout how she wants to vary her vlogs but she wants to talk about her weight loss and her noom and shit.

0:40 Waggles her Apple Watch at us. Poor thing probably just logged that wiggling as 8 steps. She looks put off that if she reaches her goal of 2000 or something steps, that means tomorrow she has to do 2300. I am having vague recollections of watching a video in a drunken haze where she claimed she was easily doing 8000 steps and am chortling with laughter.

0:50 So apparently this adding 300 steps upon reaching of a goal isn’t her own invention, it’s something done through noom. And its entire goal is to get a lazy fucker who can’t walk through their own self drive and can’t self motivate to get to 10000 steps a day. I’d say hopefully she’s not counting shaking her wrist about as actual steps, but I’d say ‘gimme rainbows’ as well.

0:56 3700-3800 calories of overeating on day 3. Whining about maintaining, says she weighed in at 483 yesterday and today. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE OUNCES?!!? I THOUGHT THEY MATTER TO YOU!!!

1:36 Without going into detail, she hasn’t read shit. Of course. Because it requires reading comprehension.

1:50 ‘I want to read you guys the titles of what I’m going to be reading, so you understand what I’m going to be endeavoring for today. What? Did that make sense?’ No. No it did not, AuthorLynn. Fortunately you’ve made me quite proficient in reeeeetard, so I understand what you were trying to say. And I hate you for that.

2:10 Says she loves a good quiz, because she wants to learn. But I thought you knew everything, AL? You know what works for you! And you sure as fuck don’t learn from all the hordes of knowledge that are thrown at you by the haydurs!

2:22 Professes that just by the titles, we can tell that noom puts a lot of work in to explaining the psychology of things. HAAH.

2:40 And now here she is saying that it feels so good to get up in the morning and chug lots of water. This bitch. Seriously.

2:48 Cherokee drumming intensifies (Becky popping into frame) Accompanies AL playing with her gross sideburn of greasy ghastliness.

2:53 ‘I don’t really eat my meals in any particular order. This is my first meal and it’s a dinner, but that’s okay.’ They’re putting together dry shitty food. Becky made it, so at least it’s likely not cooked to oblivion and covered with 7 different Mrs. Dash varieties.

3:39 Now they’re talking about salt Becky made from scratch. Here I am, stupidly thinking ‘what, did she dig up rock salt from somewhere? Did she get her hands on ocean water and start distilling that shit?’ Nope. She mixed shit into a Tupperware container with salt. Becky blathers about how she can’t keep plants alive and managed to murder a Venus flytrap. AL is stunned.

4:23 AL whines about Becky killing the plant, then goes ‘Oh! You did it by accident! I thought you done did did on purpose!’ Help me, my brain is oozing from my ears. Ow.

4:30 Still on about Venus fly traps. ‘Yeah, they really do work. Isn’t it weird?’ No, AL. It’s not weird. The fact that a plant called a FLY TRAP manages to TRAP FLIES is not weird at all. You dunce twit.

4:44 Proclaims that at the end of the day she always forgets to film. Because her job isn’t important. And then laughs about the fact that she’s bobbling about with any pants on. TMI, AL.

5:27 She’s so excited over a batch of… yeah. It’s kind of sad. But not the worst.

5:50 Now they’re tormenting the dog by dressing her in a cherry dress. AL wants to send pictures of Twinkie to her mother. Of course, they had to give Twinkie treats to keep her still.

6:26 Ah, so AL proclaims she has been trying to get her steps in, but has discovered that her Apple Watch doesn’t sync with Noom. Uh huh. Except if you fucking type ‘sync Apple Watch and noom’ into google, it instantly pops up an article on how to fucking sync iHealth to Noom, and the Apple Watch will feed Noom via the iHealth app. AL has already failed this goal via dumbassery.

6:35 Now she whines about how her Fitbit won’t sync and says it’ll take a few hours. And now she shows poor Twinkie, who’s staring at the outside world, and explains how her poor dog is laying on the window seal.

7:08 So they had to buy the dog a bed. Because she didn’t have one before. AL professes that she thinks Twinkie’s living her best life. Sure, Jan. What about Wasabi? Is he living his best life?

7:25 Bold and the Beautiful is what she’s binging on while she colors like a ‘tard. Yay.

8:02 And now a blather session from AL. Opens with how she’s been sitting for an hour having a pity-me session about her weight loss (likely while cramming food in her mouth). But then she went to her notepad and saw she’s lost 20 pounds since June. So 20 pounds… in nearly 2 months? Dude, you’re a fucking planet. You should’ve lost more. But she’s going on about how she lost 20 pounds when she’s not focused on it, and now that she’s focused she can do it and whatever. I am seriously wishing she’d shut the fuck up.

9:26 I dOn’T bInGe LiKe I uSeD tO!!!!

9:50 Well, now she talks openly about how she ‘used to’ binge nightly. Except I remember that she used to proclaim that she didn’t binge often or some shit. So which is it, AL? Did you used to binge nightly or was it a rare occurrence?

10:37 ‘I’m gonna have a frozen good.’ A what…? Huh. Maybe I misheard that, but I am not willing to back up and listen again.

11:17 She’s so enthused about having a 220 calorie bowl. And then goes to explain to us how a fucking microwave dinner works. And she’s sing-songs about eating.

11:56 The world’s most responsible pet owner is burning a Tiki Beach candle from Bath and Body Works. And of course she lit all three wicks. Gotta drive out the fupa-stank somehow.

12:01 Totally forgot that she was doing a ‘what I ate today’ vlog so didn’t film dinner. Says she had a snack before dinner, and then had takeout because no meat was thawed and they didn’t have anything prepared or planned. Says she and Becky sat down and did some meal planning for the rest of the week.

13:03 AL says she’s going to be murdering chicken on the regular. Then goes on to talk about O’Charley’s. This has been covered in previous posts, so I’m just going to zone out. Except no one mentioned the pepper jack fried cheese wedges. Those’re tasty. And calorie bombs.

14:00 Oh, here’s her talking about how she doesn’t have a lot of shrimp or any seafood. Hahahahaha. Your videography counters your claims, AL.

14:34 And she got a desert. A caramel pie. Says she ate a fourth, and threw away the rest. Right in her mouth.

15:00 Proclaims that it’s crazy that she feels she couldn’t consume that much over her limits in a single meal. I call bullshit. 405 calories over her allotted amount for the day. FFS. Then she talks about how she won’t meet her calorie goals in the beginning, because she’s not perfect and she can’t follow a plan to save her fucking life.

16:25 Now going in to how she’s upbeat, and she doesn’t like talking about this topic. She says she’s not on any medicine. Except her mood stabilizer, her anxiety medicine, and her blood thinner injections every day. So yeah. No medicine. Except all the medicine.

17:24 Hasn’t used any pain meds in 10 days. So why the fuck aren’t you walking, you fat fuck?

17:44 Now goes on to rag on her old living environment, and how living with the fags made her a sad. ‘I believe that environmental messes with your mood.’ YOU ILLITERATE FUCKWAFFLE. GAH.

18:24 ‘There’s been things that have happened in the last month. It’s been hectic, but we’re thriving in this situation.’ So yeah, relations dying is hectic.

19:01 Says she had a diet soda instead of eating. Why didn’t you chug water, moron? At least she exits with her retarded kiss outdo instead of forgetting to end the video like she forgot to record her dinner.
TL;DW: AL overeats. Becky kills no-maintenance plants and mixes shit together to 'make homemade salt'. Still no Wasabi sighting. Twinkie eats treats. This is a waste of time.
 

497

kiwifarms.net
Poor Twinkie at 6:50 looking longingly at the outdoors she'll never experience.

Edit: Also my fucking god, has this cow been on track a SINGLE day on Noom yet? Nearly 2000 calorie takeout order today because there "wasn't any meat thawed" to make a meal with. Yeah, really thriving Amburr.

I was thinking when she said "twinkie is living her best life" probably not. she probably misses atleast having the giant yard as a poop box. not sure how often becky can take her out for a walk between fetching AL's groceries, Also AL said she is wearing a short dress, pantless and probably no underwear so twinkie has to smell that :(
 

OrderCorn

Is For Me?
kiwifarms.net
She is disgusting. How many allotted calories is she giving herself? She is so obsessed with food. If you think about it what the hell else does she ever focus on besides food and losing weight. She and Becky have nothing going for them. They sit around all day coloring, playing video games and watching movies. Becky is like an obese Autistic 12 year old boy with a speech impediment and Amber is like her teenage mom.
Apparently her Noom calorie quota is 2400, but we all know she's not listening to them.
 

497

kiwifarms.net
1 Potato skin
1 chicken tender
3 pepperjack triangle things
1 dinner roll (Sure, Jan)
Salmon
Rice
Mac and cheese
Caramel pie
1,860

It's so crazy to her that all of that could come up to that may calories. Carbs, fried carbs, fried cheese, baked cheese, and sugar. My question is how many calories did she think she would be consuming? I thought she said she was the greatest human calorie calculator in the world.

so if she skipped the appetizers and dessert she would have been under her noom calories. crazy.
 

Tammy Slaton's Male Aide

Just a little prick💉
kiwifarms.net
I know wasabi is the type of cat that likes being hidden, but damn can we get a quick clip or somthing? She hasnt even spoke of either cat since she moved in besides a 2 second clip of rarity.
I agree! I miss the little bugger.

so if she skipped the appetizers and dessert she would have been under her noom calories. crazy.
But then she'd be "starveeeen!"
 

Antigarden

Incel CEO
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
You're telling me she went pantsless while wearing a dress and we still didn't get any lahgs? I'm heartbroken

She has no willpower at all lol, she didn't thaw any meat for dinner so instead of making something else or simply waiting she just gets takeout. She needed to have that dessert too of course. Never change Amber
 

Ricks Grimy DIck

kiwifarms.net
The fact that this stupid fucking cow didn't die on the table is such a disappointment. Good people pass away everyday due to surgery complications yet this fat fucking lump of cunt gets to live. It's the worst practical joke ever played by the universe.

Let's go ahead and say this girl was at an acceptable weight. Then let's talk about wasting food. Whether she is fat or if she was to lose weight she will be a fucking sponge. She is a parasite.
 
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