What If?: Beauty Parlour Edition -

[Feline Darkmage]

There used to be an entire "What If?" subforum in the olden CWCKi Forum days, but now it's just a longstanding thread in the Chris-Chan subforum (with other versions cropping up with other cows that got their own sub). Well today I bring you the Beauty Parlours own thread of hypotheticals.

For newcomers, the way this works is incredibly simple, somebody asks a question about a cow that has a thread in this subforum and other people will speculate or crack jokes about said questions scenario.

I'll start us off:
What if people actually converted to Onision's made-up religion and started evangelizing it to the masses, and it gained popularity in the public a la Scientology?

What if Momokun knew what she was doing?

What if Ashley Isaacs was a science experiment created to test the human body's endurance?

 

[Broken Pussy]

What if Amber actually did lose 250 pounds?

What if CPS came to take Gracie away and sent her to live with Missy Honey from Mathilda?

What if Gwen Hartley's heart grew three sizes and she took the Meat Puppets to an actual doctor?

What if @Marissa Morris took her goddamn medication?

 

[WeaponsGradeAutism]

What if Alison Rapp actually made enough money off Patreon where she stopped making pictures that have her eyebags photoshopped out?

 

[LithuanianLudibrious]

What if the Slaton sisters were down to an average weight and size for a woman their age?
What if Milo Stewart stopped believing in bs and got off hormones?

 

[BB 876]

What if the Slaton sisters were down to an average weight and size for a woman their age?
What if Milo Stewart stopped believing in bs and got off hormones?

The Slatons would be so much more uninteresting as they'd be your run of the mill backwater hicks. It'd just be easier for them to buy ugly, edgy Looney Tunes clothes from the local Wally Mart now.

 

[Pooquan]

What if Anna Johnson became a contestant on Hell's Kitchen?

 

[Kataomoi00]

What if Lainey finally stands up for herself, takes her kids, and leaves Onision?

Edit: well this didn’t age well

 

[Maiden-TieJuan]

What if Raven knows what she is doing, and her son is just playing along with it for the views?

What if Kaylen Marie isn't as dumb as she pretends and her entire channel is a social experiment on how much shit she can get from others while not being turned in to authorities for wasting her Tugboat Bux?

What if MooMoo Kunt is trying to create a following like Tess, and then have a complete turn around and stops the Fat Acceptance movement in its tracks for a "let's get thin and pretty" movement???

What if Type A Mom quits boozing?

What if Cecily actually leaves LOSER DAD, takeso her kid to a real school, and becomes a Christian Fundie?

 

[Sushinope]

What if Rain Florence stopped drinking her own piss and shoving her milkless tit in her child's face then brought the child back to America?

 

[MistressCaridad]

What if Trisha Paytas stopped binging and hoarding, quit bleaching the shit out of her hair and shooting fillers into her lips and actually got a real job?
What if Alice from GOMI quit drinking herself into liver failure and lying her ass off about her life story?

 

[WeaponsGradeAutism]

What if Tess Holliday is finally outed as the fraud she really is, and held accountable for her treatment towards Maiden's IRL friends and others she's terrorized?

What if Joy Sparkle finally got her crazy sperg self institutionalized?

What if Onision stepped into an American Legion Hall, and met a group of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans who wanted to "have a talk with him?"

 

[Trombonista]

What if Rain Florence stopped drinking her own piss and shoving her milkless tit in her child's face then brought the child back to America?

She'd still probably get arrested.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

What if @Marissa Morris took her goddamn medication?

She'd stop whiteknighting for creepy weirdos (Bryce Cherry, Robert McKim) and scam artists (Brianna Wu) just because we mocked them like we mock her.

 

[Maiden-TieJuan]

What if Tess Holliday is finally outed as the fraud she really is, and held accountable for her treatment towards Maiden's IRL friends and others she's terrorized?

That would be AMAZING. But she is waaaayayyyyyy too into herself and thinks she is too sexy and hawt, and can't seem to comprehend that people actually might find her gross.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

What if Cecily actually leaves LOSER DAD, takeso her kid to a real school, and becomes a Christian Fundie?

The kids probably fucked either way tbh. I'd rather see more Fundie cows, so a fundie Cecily would interest me more than her current form. SJWs are starting to be a bit oversaturated.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

What if Sammie Bushart really was related to all the celebrities she claims to be related to?

 

[Trombonista]

What if Sammie Bushart really was related to all the celebrities she claims to be related to?

That would explain Britney's mental issues.

 

[Trymskvida]

What if Onision actually went to jail?

 

[HIVidaBoheme]

What if Trisha Paytas stopped binging and hoarding, quit bleaching the shit out of her hair and shooting fillers into her lips and actually got a real job?

She'd still post videos of her crying in her kitchen floor and whining about how hard a real job is and how she was happier binging and hoarding.

What if Onision decided to try and prove he's gay and not a pedo by getting together with James Charles?

 

[Burn Book]

What if they actually had Sammie Bushart on Teen Mom? This would be the most entertaining TV since...the beginning of times, probably.

What if Margo Palermo met Lillee Jean?