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What if DSP actually opened an authentic Italian restaurant?All your Phil, are belong to Ramsay.

Discussion in 'Phil Burnell / DarkSydePhil' started by OneDaySon, Feb 3, 2019.

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no one can help you

  1. He was asked if he ran his own restaurant (which he has said many times before he'd like to run an authentic Italian restaurant ran by an authentic Italian man like himself) what the signature dish of the restaurant will be. He has revealed it would be: Pasta with sauce.
     
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  2. Fazoli's would run Casa di Burnelli out of business in a week.
     
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    Pargon

    Pargon Mr. Self-Destruct

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  3. claims to be proud italian

    can only make one pasta dish

    yeah okay
     
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    ZehnBoat

    ZehnBoat Good for health, Bad for education

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  4. Specifically he said the main draw of this signature pasta dish would be his "special sauce", the awful one we know he makes from canned tomatoes and too much sugar
     
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    millais

    millais The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas

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  5. Imagine being some hapless culinary school student. You're halfway through your program and just trying to find something to help you pay rent in your field that isn't bagging groceries or washing dishes. You see a want ad in your local rag saying that a new Italian restaurant is hiring for a sous chef. You probably don't have the experience but maybe you can make it work. You call and interview and the guy you talk to is a little weird. He doesn't really seem interested in your resume or skills. But he hires you and asks you to come in tomorrow to help out with the weekly delivery.

    The next day you show up bright and early and there's the GFS guy. He's unloading bag after twenty-pound bag of sugar.

    What do?
     
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    Pargon

    Pargon Mr. Self-Destruct

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  6. The teased kitchen nightmares arc begins.

    Gordon Ramsay better tread carefully, Phill-atio could bitch slap the shit out of him if he talked to him like that in real life.
     
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  7. god an episode of kitchen nightmares with phil would be great
    phil would be cowering and whipped while ramsay was there, then gloat and\or bitch at the camera when he leaves

    edit: imagine him bragging about his 10 year legacy in front of ramsay
     
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    ZehnBoat

    ZehnBoat Good for health, Bad for education

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  8. Chef Ramsey:

    "What is that? This is your Italian Meatball? It's RAW, it's RAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, are you fucking out of your mind Phil?

    And why don't you CUT the fucking carrot and onion before you put it in that greasy pot? You DIRTY PIG"



    DSP:

    "Well chef I told you I specializes in RAW UNCUT content, and I'm not a dirty pig *SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRT* 's Cuze me........that came out of nowhere Ackackackackack"


    sandwich.jpg
    2019-02-03 (2).png
     
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    #8 N0thingICanDo, Feb 3, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
    N0thingICanDo

    N0thingICanDo I'm Pressing Buttons (show controller)

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  9. He'd be more delusional than that crazy eyed bitch and her alibaba husband who ran that bakery and how according to them it's the internet people who give them a bad reputation.
     
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  10. Dave is too submissive to engage in any of the entertaining confrontations that the owners of Amy's baking company did, rather he would mope and stay silent whilst Gordon scolds him, then as soon as he leaves the room attempt to reaffirm his ego by mumbling to the 16 year old sous chef in the kitchen how Gordon is a "fucking idiot, complete moron, knows nothing about running a real adult authentic Eye-talian, bricks & mortar restaurant.....huhh-huhhh".

    What does have potential though is the possibility of the socially inept khet operating as the waitress and having to handle irate customers. I'll tune in for that!
     
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  11. A part of me wanna see him open the restaurant, knowing it will be a complet failure because of two simple things!
    1. He can't keep up with the tempo in a resturant kitchen!
    2. He can't cook!
     
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    Dragoonism

    Dragoonism Es gibt keine Fakten, nur Interpretationen.

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  12. "DOOD! I TOLD YOU! THE DISH WILL BE READY WHEN IT'S READY! IMMA TAKE TEN MINUTE PISS BREAK! AND BE SURE TO DONATE EXTRA FOR MAH AWESUME SAUCE AND MAH AWESUME BREADSTICKS!"
     
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    The tired cat

    The tired cat Reality is an illusion

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  13. Watching him argue with all the negative yelp reviews would provide hours of entertainment, complete with prefacing all replies with “um”.

    “Um, blatant insults won’t be tolerated anywhere.
    Lol. Idiots.
    Management”.
     
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  14. [​IMG]
    Only thing that came to my brain.
     
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    The tired cat

    The tired cat Reality is an illusion

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  15. He is going to get exhausted simply by doing the mise en place and a doubt he will even finish that the first day!

    A personal favorite is when he is dumping the oil from the frying pan in to the toilet because the pipes in the sink will get clogged up while the toilets wont be and how people who lives in cold places can't use frying pans!

    Going on long rants about how one of his parents are italian so he knows more about italian food than anyone that have visited his restaurant and isn't a genuine italian, how it is not his fault that he drops food on guests and makes up sob stories about how people should tip him more so his restaurant dosen't go under!
     
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    Dragoonism

    Dragoonism Es gibt keine Fakten, nur Interpretationen.

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  16. Well you'll walk through the outskirts of Seattle Washington and you'll see many authentic classic Italian restaurants. Such as Luigi's, Alessandro's, Antonino's, Giovanni's and of course, Phil's. Phil Burnell's authentic Italian restaurant.
     
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  17. He'd probably do something deliciously autistic and bring back his name from when he played the Godfather.

    Philippo Faggia's Fine """Italian""" Cuisine.
     
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    Pargon

    Pargon Mr. Self-Destruct

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  18. I loved that the water was blue. Made the whole thing even more autistic for some reason.

    FYI, don't dump your grease out into any pipes. You got a lot of chinese soup containers, pour your grease in there and put it in the trash. At the very least put it in a thick ziplock bag and toss that.
     
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  19. With how he treats his fans, imagine how he'd treat his workers. Remember, Phil thinks he knows best. Can you imagine him arguing with his head chef, a person who went through culinary school and has like 5+ years of working in a successful restaurant? You know it'd happen, because the head chef would dare to make changes and would point out flaws, and Phil hates changes and hates criticism. I can picture the "You don't know what you're talking about, I'M Italian so I know how this works. Just because you're a professional chef doesn't mean you know how AUTHENTIC Italian food is made back in Italy! See, you might be BOOK smart, but you're not STREET smart."
     
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  20. "You don't have to stay and eat if you're not a fan of authentic Italian food. Just show up when we open and tip me."
     
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