What if DSP actually opened an authentic Italian restaurant? - All your Phil, are belong to Ramsay.

OneDaySon

kiwifarms.net
He was asked if he ran his own restaurant (which he has said many times before he'd like to run an authentic Italian restaurant ran by an authentic Italian man like himself) what the signature dish of the restaurant will be. He has revealed it would be: Pasta with sauce.
 

Pargon

Engaging in cultural trench warfare
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He was asked if he ran his own restaurant (which he has said many times before he'd like to run an authentic Italian restaurant ran by an authentic Italian man like himself) what the signature dish of the restaurant will be. He has revealed it would be: Pasta with sauce.
Fazoli's would run Casa di Burnelli out of business in a week.
 

ZehnBoat

0-3 sad shitposts
kiwifarms.net
He was asked if he ran his own restaurant (which he has said many times before he'd like to run an authentic Italian restaurant ran by an authentic Italian man like himself) what the signature dish of the restaurant will be. He has revealed it would be: Pasta with sauce.
claims to be proud italian

can only make one pasta dish

yeah okay
 

Pargon

Engaging in cultural trench warfare
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Specifically he said the main draw of this signature pasta dish would be his "special sauce", the awful one we know he makes from canned tomatoes and too much sugar
Imagine being some hapless culinary school student. You're halfway through your program and just trying to find something to help you pay rent in your field that isn't bagging groceries or washing dishes. You see a want ad in your local rag saying that a new Italian restaurant is hiring for a sous chef. You probably don't have the experience but maybe you can make it work. You call and interview and the guy you talk to is a little weird. He doesn't really seem interested in your resume or skills. But he hires you and asks you to come in tomorrow to help out with the weekly delivery.

The next day you show up bright and early and there's the GFS guy. He's unloading bag after twenty-pound bag of sugar.

What do?
 

ZehnBoat

0-3 sad shitposts
kiwifarms.net
The teased kitchen nightmares arc begins.

Gordon Ramsay better tread carefully, Phill-atio could bitch slap the shit out of him if he talked to him like that in real life.
god an episode of kitchen nightmares with phil would be great
phil would be cowering and whipped while ramsay was there, then gloat and\or bitch at the camera when he leaves

edit: imagine him bragging about his 10 year legacy in front of ramsay
 

N0thingICanDo

I'm Pressing Buttons (show controller)
kiwifarms.net
god an episode of kitchen nightmares with phil would be great
phil would be cowering and whipped while ramsay was there, then gloat and\or bitch at the camera when he leaves

edit: imagine him bragging about his 10 year legacy in front of ramsay

Chef Ramsey:

"What is that? This is your Italian Meatball? It's RAW, it's RAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, are you fucking out of your mind Phil?

And why don't you CUT the fucking carrot and onion before you put it in that greasy pot? You DIRTY PIG"



DSP:

"Well chef I told you I specializes in RAW UNCUT content, and I'm not a dirty pig *SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRT* 's Cuze me........that came out of nowhere Ackackackackack"


sandwich.jpg

2019-02-03 (2).png
 
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Martys_not_smarty

kiwifarms.net
god an episode of kitchen nightmares with phil would be great
phil would be cowering and whipped while ramsay was there, then gloat and\or bitch at the camera when he leaves

edit: imagine him bragging about his 10 year legacy in front of ramsay
He'd be more delusional than that crazy eyed bitch and her alibaba husband who ran that bakery and how according to them it's the internet people who give them a bad reputation.
 

tits-Burnell

kiwifarms.net
He'd be more delusional than that crazy eyed bitch and her alibaba husband who ran that bakery and how according to them it's the internet people who give them a bad reputation.
Dave is too submissive to engage in any of the entertaining confrontations that the owners of Amy's baking company did, rather he would mope and stay silent whilst Gordon scolds him, then as soon as he leaves the room attempt to reaffirm his ego by mumbling to the 16 year old sous chef in the kitchen how Gordon is a "fucking idiot, complete moron, knows nothing about running a real adult authentic Eye-talian, bricks & mortar restaurant.....huhh-huhhh".

What does have potential though is the possibility of the socially inept khet operating as the waitress and having to handle irate customers. I'll tune in for that!
 

Dragoonism

Es gibt keine Fakten, nur Interpretationen.
kiwifarms.net
Specifically he said the main draw of this signature pasta dish would be his "special sauce", the awful one we know he makes from canned tomatoes and too much sugar
A part of me wanna see him open the restaurant, knowing it will be a complet failure because of two simple things!
  1. He can't keep up with the tempo in a resturant kitchen!
  2. He can't cook!
 

The tired cat

Fluffy angel of death
kiwifarms.net
A part of me wanna see him open the restaurant, knowing it will be a complet failure because of two simple things!
  1. He can't keep up with the tempo in a resturant kitchen!
  2. He can't cook!
"DOOD! I TOLD YOU! THE DISH WILL BE READY WHEN IT'S READY! IMMA TAKE TEN MINUTE PISS BREAK! AND BE SURE TO DONATE EXTRA FOR MAH AWESUME SAUCE AND MAH AWESUME BREADSTICKS!"
 

tits-Burnell

kiwifarms.net
A part of me wanna see him open the restaurant, knowing it will be a complet failure because of two simple things!
  1. He can't keep up with the tempo in a resturant kitchen!
  2. He can't cook!
Watching him argue with all the negative yelp reviews would provide hours of entertainment, complete with prefacing all replies with “um”.

“Um, blatant insults won’t be tolerated anywhere.
Lol. Idiots.
Management”.
 

Dragoonism

Es gibt keine Fakten, nur Interpretationen.
kiwifarms.net
"DOOD! I TOLD YOU! THE DISH WILL BE READY WHEN IT'S READY! IMMA TAKE TEN MINUTE PISS BREAK! AND BE SURE TO DONATE EXTRA FOR MAH AWESUME SAUCE AND MAH AWESUME BREADSTICKS!"
He is going to get exhausted simply by doing the mise en place and a doubt he will even finish that the first day!

I loved his recipe for "Bread with a hole in it". Instead of spending 30 seconds googling "bread with a hole in it" and giving us the real name for it, he just calls it that.
A personal favorite is when he is dumping the oil from the frying pan in to the toilet because the pipes in the sink will get clogged up while the toilets wont be and how people who lives in cold places can't use frying pans!

Watching him argue with all the negative yelp reviews would provide hours of entertainment, complete with prefacing all replies with “um”.

“Um, blatant insults won’t be tolerated anywhere.
Lol. Idiots.
Management”.
Going on long rants about how one of his parents are italian so he knows more about italian food than anyone that have visited his restaurant and isn't a genuine italian, how it is not his fault that he drops food on guests and makes up sob stories about how people should tip him more so his restaurant dosen't go under!
 
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Pargon

Engaging in cultural trench warfare
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Well you'll walk through the outskirts of Seattle Washington and you'll see many authentic classic Italian restaurants. Such as Luigi's, Alessandro's, Antonino's, Giovanni's and of course, Phil's. Phil Burnell's authentic Italian restaurant.
He'd probably do something deliciously autistic and bring back his name from when he played the Godfather.

Philippo Faggia's Fine """Italian""" Cuisine.
 

JackDavis

kiwifarms.net
A personal favorite is when he is dumping the oil from the frying pan in to the toilet because the pipes in the sink will get clogged up while the toilets wont be and how people who lives in cold places can't use frying pans!
I loved that the water was blue. Made the whole thing even more autistic for some reason.

FYI, don't dump your grease out into any pipes. You got a lot of chinese soup containers, pour your grease in there and put it in the trash. At the very least put it in a thick ziplock bag and toss that.
 

OneDaySon

kiwifarms.net
Imagine being some hapless culinary school student. You're halfway through your program and just trying to find something to help you pay rent in your field that isn't bagging groceries or washing dishes. You see a want ad in your local rag saying that a new Italian restaurant is hiring for a sous chef. You probably don't have the experience but maybe you can make it work. You call and interview and the guy you talk to is a little weird. He doesn't really seem interested in your resume or skills. But he hires you and asks you to come in tomorrow to help out with the weekly delivery.

The next day you show up bright and early and there's the GFS guy. He's unloading bag after twenty-pound bag of sugar.

What do?
With how he treats his fans, imagine how he'd treat his workers. Remember, Phil thinks he knows best. Can you imagine him arguing with his head chef, a person who went through culinary school and has like 5+ years of working in a successful restaurant? You know it'd happen, because the head chef would dare to make changes and would point out flaws, and Phil hates changes and hates criticism. I can picture the "You don't know what you're talking about, I'M Italian so I know how this works. Just because you're a professional chef doesn't mean you know how AUTHENTIC Italian food is made back in Italy! See, you might be BOOK smart, but you're not STREET smart."
 
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