What is Chris-Chan's blood pressure? -

[AtroposHeart]

Today, I had a blood pressure scare. Under my psych doctor's orders I am undergoing a weightloss process and it has been going well so far and I have been exercising nearly every day. Today, I went by the grocery store and go by the pharmacy where there is a blood pressure machine and I get on it. I was shocked to see my blood pressure was 142. I didn't understand. I had been exercising and losing weight, why was it so high? I went home and told my mother about it and she told me that those machines aren't always accurate. It turns out my father had his own blood pressure monitor and my mom put it on me and it turned out my blood pressure was really 121. I was so relieved.

I am thinking we know Chris doesn't get any exercise at all and eats foods that are high in sodium and such. Not to mention all the stress he complains about. So I am thinking his blood pressure must be terribly high. For those of you who know more about blood pressure and health in general what do you estimate it to be?

 

[Some JERK]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

Well first, good luck on your weightloss process. You can do it. It's so much easier than you think it will be if you get your head in the right place.

Second, those public BP machines are notoriously inaccurate. Don't let them freak you out. My BP is usually in the neighborhood of 116/78 like clockwork. I tested myself on one of those things a couple of weeks back and it told me that i was pre-hypertensive. Not likely. Get a reliable bp machine for home and just consult that.

Third, i couldn't even hazard a guess at Chris's BP. Seriously. It's probably not so great though. I'm sure he's stage 1 hypertensive at least.

 

[KatsuKitty]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

I came close to locking this since it seems rather pedantic to discuss, but I think i'll let it go since you articulated your post well (if I saw shit like "lol cause he's fat" it would go directly into spergatory) and it ties into Chris' health in general.

Blood pressure is dependant on a wide variety of factors: genetic conditions, diet, and exercise level. The obvious two out of those three are big black X's for Chris. Considering the house is a wasteland (and the kitchen is very messy since the Tomgirl saga), almost all of his meals are Hungry-Man boxed dinners and eating out, sinced boxed dinners are simple to microwave and takeout is convient. Both of these meal choices are high in sodium and fat. Sodium is a killer for blood pressure, as it depletes your body of water. Fat is hard on the heart, and it has to work harder to compensate, leading to high blood pressure.

We already know Chris is very sedentary. So assuming virtually zero exercise, this is another negatively correlated prognostic indicator Chris exhibits. There's nothing to even discuss on this point, he doesn't move.

Therefore, we're left with the million-dollar question: How good are Chris' genes? You see, if you have good genes, you're virtually indestructable. This is how those centenarians and supercentenarians live off a steady diet of whiskey and cigarettes; their body can take the abuse, like driving a well-built off-road truck down a rough road compared to a cheaper sedan. So is Chris a well-built truck or a cheap sedan? Bob lived to be 84 years old eating Burger King every morning, well into his CHF and leg edema: this would probably put Chris' resilience to disease in the high-normal category. As in, he could live to a ripe old age despite 31 years of eating shit, but only if he changed his habits right fucking now. Which he won't.

Therefore, my evaluation of Chris' blood pressure is that it's reflective of his general health; quite possibly a slight touch above normal, enough for a physician to urge diet and lifestyle changes. He can go on like this well into his forties, but it will very quickly bite him in the ass after that. The most likely serious health event I see Chris suffering from is a stroke or heart attack in his mid-fifties, if only because he hasn't moved around half as much as Bob must have at the same age.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

I'd say that Chris's blood pressure is probably in the 130 range, maybe even the low 140s. The guy isn't very healthy and I suppose that it's reflected in his blood pressure.

I strongly believe that Chris is going to have diabetes in his future if he doesn't change his eating habits and start exercising. It's unfortunate because I know Chris wouldn't stick to a diabetic diet, and heart attack and kidney failure are growing more and more likely every day.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

Given the huge amounts of fat and sugar that Chrissy ingests on a daily basis I would be more worried about Diabeetus rather then BP.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

His blood pressure is too damn high

 

[CalmMyTits]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

Good genes can only take you so far. The ones mentioned who love really long despite smoking or drinking take care of themselves in other ways.I've never seen a obese centagenarian, they're always on the lighter side. I would guess Chris' BP is at least 140 because his arteries have to be pretty coated with lard at this point. And I do mean fucking lard, saturated and trans fat can do a real number on you over time.

 

[Captain Cid]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

Guys, you keep talking about the bigger number (at least I'm assuming for your sake that you are talking about the higher number, the systolic) but it's the lower number, the diastolic, that really counts.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

IIRC, many health factors are decided by 40% genetic and 60% lifestyle, which means lifestyle is generally more important to health than genes, which is why we always hear the health authorities remind us to eat a balanced diet and exercise because those are things we can easily do to improve health. You really can't do much if you have crappy genes.

Chris really does need to exercise. It would make him feel better and would do wonders for his health. He also needs to learn about nutrition and stop eating q-sands and Hungryman meals.

Then again, this is Chris. He'll think that all he needs to do is take a pill and everything will be OK. He wouldn't exercise or eat a balanced diet if his life depended on it.

 

[CatParty]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

wouldn't be surprised if his blood was actually gravy

 

[JULAY]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

Mine is usually around 180/110, but I'm a DANG DIRTY SMOKER. I'm also not as fat as Chris. So my guess is about that, straight up Stage 2 Hypertension.

 

[Pikonic]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

So I'm a big nicotine user, my BP hangs at 90/60.
Chris could have hit the genetic lottery and have hypotension, his shitty lifestyle could raise it to normal.
I went into more detail about this, too lazy to find it, maybe later.

 

[exball]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

wouldn't be surprised if his blood was actually gravy

No, no gravy. Only vegetables.

 

[Mr. 0]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

If Chris's blood pressure is as high as we speculate, it's only because we damn "twolls" got him so worked up. But Chris doesn't work, which means da twolls used some voodoo niggo magic to spike his BP over acceptable levels.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

I'm Chris's ages and am a little overweight myself, but my BP hangs at around 118/90. I'm guess Chris is probably 138/110.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

Brother, if you have blood pressure, it means you need to train more and eat your vitamins. Since Chris does neither, he likely has a very high blood pressure.

 

[José Mourinho]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

I think it's slightly higher than normal.

 

[The Dude]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

I'm currently stage 1 Hypertensive. At the end of last year I was 320 pounds and Stage 2, regularly in the 160s over the low 100s. I'm now down to about 265 pounds and in the low 140s over low 90s. Still high, I know. I'm trying to lose more weight. I'd like to be in the 230s by next spring. I'd wager Chris is easily Stage 2 Hypertensive. His lifestyle is atrocious and his eating habits worse. He never eats a good home cooked meal. It's all garbage food. And his complaints of heart pains when he's upset is disconcerting. He may have already had a minor heart attack and not even know it because he doesn't know any better. My Dad had five heart attacks in his life and was a diabetic. His first heart attack was when I was in middle school. It was minor andnhe didn't even know he'd had one. He went into the hospital because he wasn't feeling well and the doc looked at the symptoms and put him on an ECG and confirmed it. I'm not trying to be A-Loggy or sensational or anything, I'm just speaking from my own life experiences.

 

[Fibonacci]

Re: What is Our Pet Lolcow's blood pressure?

In his mid-to-late twenties, Chris's doctor put him on Lipitor. That says a lot about his heart health. I wouldn't be surprised if Chris's doctor did try to get him on beta blockers and blood pressure meds and he just stopped taking them after awhile.

 

[The Dude]

wouldn't be surprised if his blood was actually gravy

No silly, that's just ridiculous. It's if you cut him he BLEEDS gravy. Jeez, some people.

I hope it gets so high he fucking collapses. Serves the fat fuck right.

Go somewhere else if you're going to A-Log like that please.