What is the nicest way to tell a child that you've never met before that Santa Claus isn't real? -

[️ronic]

Asking for research.

 

[Penis Drager]

Get really drunk and sneak into their house on Christmas eve while wearing a Santa outfit. Make a bunch of noise until the kids wake up and find you puking all over the Christmas presents the parents left under the tree. Then you tell them you're not really Santa and it's all a bunch of lies.

 

[Sage In All Fields]

Tell their parents they're bad people for lying to their children and are probably the reason why so many people are going through an epistemological crises right now without realising

 

[Happy Fish]

What do you mean Santa isn't real?

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

Wait he isn't?

 

[ProblematicUser420]

Explain to them that Santa Clause was a marketing campaign created by the Coca Cola company

 

[Lonely Grave]

 

[The Cum Consumer]

Hey, libtard. If Santa isn't real, then why does he have a Canadian postal code?

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Tell them Santa and the Tooth Fairy are just an excuse for your parents to roleplay as burglars.

 

[The Lawgiver]

Explain to them that Santa Clause was a marketing campaign created by the Coca Cola company

He existed before coca cola but became a lot more popular as a result of their ads. You'd be replacing one alleged falsehood for another and it'd result in a smug lil soylent chugging cunt of a child in a few years time.

The kid is gonna end up devastated any way, but the best way to go about it would be talking about shit like how while the santa they knew was just a fairy tale the giving sprit or generosity of their fellow man is like the true santa thats very real or whatever.
It'dalso probably help to teach them about the actual guy santa's based on and named after, and how it evolved through the years to the whimsical mythology we have today.
Now, if they know about Santa's goatman friend Krampus, that might be a little harder to explain.

 

[Ronnie Rocket]

Santa Claus is real but @SIGSEGV isn't.

 

[UtopiaGuy]

I believe in Santa Claus
Like I believe in love.
I believe in Santa Claus
And everything he does.
There's no question in my mind
That he does exist.
Just like love, I know he's there,
Waiting to be missed.

Short answer, phase in the "Santa's helpers" thing, like a department store Santa isn't the real one. That acclimates the kid to the idea of Santa fakery. From there, it's not so traumatic when the truth comes out.