What is Your favorite Chris quote? - Post your favorite Chris quote here

[Spastic Cologne]

"Hello, I'm the Grimace, I'm not dead.
I've been down; I'm feelin' sad.
All this time in my childhood, everybody thought I was different.
Seriously folks, I was treated differently because I was autistic too. I am... was autistic and very... very shy. Uhhh, the teachers, they took me, they picked on me, they beat up on me, they recorded my screams. What a sad life for me as a Grimace."

https://youtu.be/sn1nguDkalg

Between the incomparably bizarre awful directionless improv, an objectively terrible "costume", how it all "seamlessly" manifests into Chris just talking about himself with a tonal shift that could cause whiplash, coupled with the ultimate defeat in his voice when he inadvertently depresses himself, in what I can only assume was meant to be a comedic depiction of his spirit animal, the Grimace;
I find this clip to be the perfect storm of classic Chris's tomfoolery and misguided everything, all this and much much more in just under 2 minutes!
That and fuck if it don't make me laugh every time I watch the cursed fever dream that is 100 2266.
Closest thing that he has ever made to real art...
6/10

 

[literal autist]

despite all my mental age i am just still a virgin with rage

 

[taintmisbehavin]

A less discussed entry (originally meant for a Valentine’s Day card): “My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in.”

 

[гape]

You are being Unfriendly to me and a Meanie. I hope your house burns down with You and your Jerk boyfriend inside. Good Day.

 

[Unassuming Local Guy]

I don't remember/can't find the exact wording, but it went something like:

I was having a hard time in deciding between three girls, but God and Jesus helped me make my choice by killing one of them in a car accident

As narcissistic and uncaring as Chris is, I think that was the coldest thing I've ever heard him say. I usually just get a little smile out of the dumb shit he says, but that one actually made me laugh out of disbelief.

I never thought even he would frame someone dying young as a good thing because it made his life slightly more convenient.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

'At this time, in my life, I had met, and unknowningly to myself, flirted with three women on the internet. Could choose only one, but with the help of God and Jesus, two paths were taken away' - Chris, at the conclusion of episode 18 of Sonichu.

'Sadly', one died, being smashed to pieces in a truck crash: another turned out to be a troll; but the third, PandaHalo, was clearly Chris's destined heartsweet, virginity-taker, and Twue Luv. Which explains why in the very next issue Chris was proclaiming that God and Jesus ('S'Up?) themselves were declaring that they had fated Ivy to fill that role in his life.

No further comment is really needed, is it?

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

From CWC A comprehensive history 31...

"...and I do not hump my console AT ALL - I only did it that one time cause I was being blackmailed, and I would never do that to any animal. Bestiality is WRONG!"

 

[KnownWeenNumber62]

“Watchmen’s not that long of a movie.”
—Emily

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

From CWC A comprehensive history 31...

"...and I do not hump my console AT ALL - I only did it that one time cause I was being blackmailed, and I would never do that to any animal. Bestiality is WRONG!"

Gotta hand it to Chris, as much of a degenerate fuck that he is he was very explicit about not wanting minors during his love quest and no humping animals. Those two things alone place him very high on the lolcow ethical scale considering the people covered on this site.

 

[Mothramom]

I see more detail, and more clear vision, than anyone of you knuckleheads can put together.... Out of your own egos... That you so richly *taps angrily* consume of.

 

[judge claude frollo]

con sarn it, they don't have a lick of common sense

 

[naught sock account 1]

when he argued with liquid chris...

 

[RealtreeByGod]

The phrase "Swinging D cups" has somehow invaded my own vocabulary

 

[SojuDrnkr]

"Dis is widdle chris dat I created at Create-A-Crare"

 

[elkinbub]

"WWII was a very tragic event with guns, insults, and...yuck!"

 

[KillDaHo]

I got a fish!
Would ya like to make a wish?
I got a fish!
Would ya like to make a wish?
I got a fiiiiiiiiish!
Would ya like to make a wish?

 

[Crass_and_Champ]

"I just might e-mail her and ask her out, with Pleasant Conversations and maybe Tribadism Afterwards."
-Colin Chat 2

 

[horrorfan89]

"Alright, whose joke idea was it to order a pizza?! And try sending my way? You interrupted this thing, and you know what? That says what happened that got me blacklisted from any deliveries from Papa Johns! Why they would never deliver any pizza from this place you FRICKIN-FRACKIN HATING TROLLS! NNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!"

chris was so boring sperging on reading fanfiction that even the weens decided to fake pizza prank him. I know mods look down on behavior like that but its just so damn funny to think thats the only way to mess with him from a long distance

 

[fenny]

Gotta hand it to Chris, as much of a degenerate fuck that he is he was very explicit about not wanting minors during his love quest and no humping animals. Those two things alone place him very high on the lolcow ethical scale considering the people covered on this site.

Let me just ruin this for you a little bit.
23:20 <@ChrisChanSonichu> speaking of animal sex, I've thought about it some more, and if you help me with that and watch, I may do it with a female dog for you.
(irrelevent chatter)
23:24 <@PandaHalo> what kind of dog would you have sex with? a fluffy one?
23:24 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I don't think so; I can imagine myself doing it with a collie at least.
23:24 <@ChrisChanSonichu> you know, like Lassie.
23:25 <@PandaHalo> Ohhh Lassie is a pretty dog
23:26 <@ChrisChanSonichu> IDK why, but something about the color scheme and face of a collie just strikes me in that sense.

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Let me just ruin this for you a little bit.
23:20 <@ChrisChanSonichu> speaking of animal sex, I've thought about it some more, and if you help me with that and watch, I may do it with a female dog for you.
(irrelevent chatter)
23:24 <@PandaHalo> what kind of dog would you have sex with? a fluffy one?
23:24 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I don't think so; I can imagine myself doing it with a collie at least.
23:24 <@ChrisChanSonichu> you know, like Lassie.
23:25 <@PandaHalo> Ohhh Lassie is a pretty dog
23:26 <@ChrisChanSonichu> IDK why, but something about the color scheme and face of a collie just strikes me in that sense.

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)

Welp , i take it back then, Chris is pretty irredeemable, now i am scared for those beagles.