I know, nothing right now in his current condition, but what could he do if he had coaching and had the best case scenario?
What job could CWC do? -
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Call center is out, fast food is out...
He could do background work. That is to say, being an extra in movies. He could move to LA and just fill seats on the Judge Judy show all day, or dress up like a pilgrim and stand in the background during a hanging, or pretend to like a shitty band in a concert scene. I think even Chris could handle that. Plus the make-up people, who are mostly women, would be forced to have prolonged interactions with him. It's perfect for him.
He could do background work. That is to say, being an extra in movies. He could move to LA and just fill seats on the Judge Judy show all day, or dress up like a pilgrim and stand in the background during a hanging, or pretend to like a shitty band in a concert scene. I think even Chris could handle that. Plus the make-up people, who are mostly women, would be forced to have prolonged interactions with him. It's perfect for him.
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I was thinking for a while that Rocky should get him involved in handing out the programs and hymn books at the Sunday services, but I wouldn't touch anything he had touched before.
I doubt he'd ever be capable of anything other than packing stuff in a factory.
He could work at a rendering plant.
Uzumaki said:
I've never been inside a rendering plant but I don't think it would be any more dangerous than any other factory type job. There should be redundant safeties on all the machinery, non slip flooring, etc. If his job was scooping guts onto a conveyer belt he should be fine.
I just figure that since his home is full of decaying organic matter he'd be used to the smell, and he smells so bad already it wouldn't impact his social life.
Given how much electronic crap he carries with him everywhere he goes, I think that's perfect. Just attach a wifi box to his hip and people can crowd around him to check their email. Then he'll have more people paying attention to him instead of cruelly ignoring him. It's win-win for everyone.CatParty said:
* Before-model for "before/after"-type infomercials.
* Actor in one of these porn flicks in which a dorky white dude gets drilled by several niggos.
* Fast food joint critic - similar to a restaurant critic, but with fast food places.
* Maybe delivery man of sorts? If he found his way to Ohio without problems, he should be able to drive a van around town and deliver stuff.
* Actor in one of these porn flicks in which a dorky white dude gets drilled by several niggos.
* Fast food joint critic - similar to a restaurant critic, but with fast food places.
* Maybe delivery man of sorts? If he found his way to Ohio without problems, he should be able to drive a van around town and deliver stuff.
What could he do? Well, he's not so profoundly handicapped that he couldn't adequately perform most jobs, which don't require social interaction. But, he's just too lazy and self-entitled to do so, with no appreciable skill or experience to speak of.
Something I've always suspected is that he could be adequate - perhaps even good - at a menial job that's repetitious... IF someone had absolute authority over him, and he wasn't permitted to leave. So much history indicates Chris is a coward, and would probably bow to authority when he learns he has no means to resist. But, that's the thing... Besides the military, prison work programs, court ordered supervised work programs, or a family business; nobody would have absolute authority over him. Chris will eventually learn he can just walk away or get himself fired, and fall back into his useless routine.
Honestly, I don't think necessity would be enough motivation. I sincerely believe Chris would obstinately die of exposure or starvation, before he would accept working any kind of job. His family doesn't want anything to do with his shit, and Barb's knocking on death's door, so there's no family business prospects. The only way Chris could be drafted into the military is as a biological weapon. As such, I also sincerely believe the only ways the world will ever bear witness to Christian Weston Chandler doing any kind of productive work, is to be sentenced to it by a court of law.
This is an extension of my belief that - if Chris ever loses the house, and doesn't inherit a protected trust fund - Chris will probably die of exposure or starvation, if he isn't put into prison. Unless you believe in merciful death, a long prison sentence is his best case scenario.
Thoooooough, my theory assumes nothing absolutely insane happens to Chris like being abducted and brainwashed by a cult, abducted by aliens, digivolving into Colossal Chris, winning the lottery, being bought as a pet for an eccentric billionaire, or some other crazy longshot possibility... Considering craziness hangs around Chris like flies to DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS... Maybe these fates aren't so improbable? :?
Something I've always suspected is that he could be adequate - perhaps even good - at a menial job that's repetitious... IF someone had absolute authority over him, and he wasn't permitted to leave. So much history indicates Chris is a coward, and would probably bow to authority when he learns he has no means to resist. But, that's the thing... Besides the military, prison work programs, court ordered supervised work programs, or a family business; nobody would have absolute authority over him. Chris will eventually learn he can just walk away or get himself fired, and fall back into his useless routine.
Honestly, I don't think necessity would be enough motivation. I sincerely believe Chris would obstinately die of exposure or starvation, before he would accept working any kind of job. His family doesn't want anything to do with his shit, and Barb's knocking on death's door, so there's no family business prospects. The only way Chris could be drafted into the military is as a biological weapon. As such, I also sincerely believe the only ways the world will ever bear witness to Christian Weston Chandler doing any kind of productive work, is to be sentenced to it by a court of law.
This is an extension of my belief that - if Chris ever loses the house, and doesn't inherit a protected trust fund - Chris will probably die of exposure or starvation, if he isn't put into prison. Unless you believe in merciful death, a long prison sentence is his best case scenario.
Thoooooough, my theory assumes nothing absolutely insane happens to Chris like being abducted and brainwashed by a cult, abducted by aliens, digivolving into Colossal Chris, winning the lottery, being bought as a pet for an eccentric billionaire, or some other crazy longshot possibility... Considering craziness hangs around Chris like flies to DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS... Maybe these fates aren't so improbable? :?
GFYS said:
If Chris wins the lottery, I'll go crazy.
Otherwise, I think Chris would make an excellent beggar. I mean, think about it, he could make a "PLEASE HELP" sign with a little Sonichu face and sit around all day in a public place looking pathetic, which is his normal state anyway. It would be exactly what he did for years on his Love Quest - except this would be Money Quest.
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