What kind of superpowers would you want? - Mask your insecurities with absurd superpowers

[PsychoNerd054]

ITT, you get to choose your superpowers, so that you can use them in your own personal power fantasies whenever life gets rough.

I'd have the power to shoot yogurt out of my armpits so that I can eat it in the bathtub while crying, as well as the power to conjure up toasters as I'm doing it.

 

[obliviousbeard]

Ability to talk to ducks

 

[Just A Butt]

I want to be superhumanly good at video games instead of total shit, as I am now.

There’s a ton of money to be had out there in “e-sports”.

 

[MediocreMilt]

How 'bout the Power... to move you?

 

[crocodilian]

This one.

 

[TendieGremlin]

being less of an exceptional individual would suffice

 

[Draza]

The power to see through clothes.

 

[Slowpoke Sonic]

Breathing underwater

 

[FixinShibe]

Ability to be Whatever I Want.

 

[Eryngium]

The ability to give myself a massage.

 

[The Manglement]

Wolverine-style regeneration. I would constantly be jumping in front of cars and suing the shit out of people for trauma.

 

[La Luz Extinguido]

Omnipotence

 

[Degenerated]

I want hitler beams.

 

[nagant 1895]

the ability to read the senses of and control the actions of any and all roaches world wide. I mostly just want to be able to get about 200 roaches and send roach text messages to my friends by assembling the roaches in the shape of letters of their wall or floor.

 

[Chin of Campbell]

I would be a shape-shifter. I could turn into a nice young woman and record myself saying, "I love you and hope you have a nice day". Then I could listen to it every day before work until I die alone in my apartment covered in spoiled lunchmeat.

 

[SweetDee]

Invisibility.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

The ability to fly so I can get over my fear of heights.

 

[ForgedBlades]

Freeze time. No doubt.

 

[UE 558]

I want a stretchable, fully opposable penis so I can fuck my own butthole

 

[JULAY]

I would be a shape-shifter. I could turn into a nice young woman and record myself saying, "I love you and hope you have a nice day". Then I could listen to it every day before work until I die alone in my apartment covered in spoiled lunchmeat.

Convert to Judaism. It's a well known fact that the Jews are shape-shifters.