What makes a lolcow for you personally -

Abethedemon

Trve and Honest
kiwifarms.net
Lolcows need to provide milk. If they ignore comments and go about their lives or if they try to shape up, they're not really a lolcow.
 
  • Agree
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Zim

Facebook District Manager
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
To me the biggest defining feature of a lolcow is ego. They not only have to believe they're better then most people but have to be fully committed to it too. They have to think they're so special that they have no choice but to show it off to the world. They have to have no way to look at themselves from others perspectives and see they might be wrong. It takes a special kind of dumb to think like this and it's what makes the best cows to me.
 

AnOminous

But I'm not mad at anyone.
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
They should be completely oblivious to how funny they are.
 

Wagman

The Original Character; Do not Steal.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Someone who doesn't fully understand how the internet works. When ever they post something, they automatically think that it's amazing and think everyone will love it. Then as soon as someone disagrees with them or anything negative happens, they'll lose their mind.
 

CoFAGrigus

Pretzel seeker
kiwifarms.net
Generally for me it's people who are entertaining and also douchey/arrogant so I don't feel bad for making fun of them

Don't get me wrong, I love messing with people but I like to feel like the people I'm messing with deserve it
 

Flowers For Sonichu

2nd Team all-confefence in Kick the Autistic
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
They ignore every single piece of advice thrown their way and never learn from mistakes. They also must have an overwhelming desire for attention that keeps them making content despite the constant trolling they face.
 

kingpin skinny pimp

kiwifarms.net
i doubt you can even call them lolcows at this point cuz they stop being funny and start being kinda cool but my top favs are always the ones who, despite being weird as balls, are generally very nice and hospitable people and overall just genuine pals that you'd have to be a huge fucking jerk to troll, like ulillillia or wesley willis[do they count if they died before the term lolcow came to fruition?]. runners up are conspiracy theorist francis e dec type dudes whose delusional belief systems are like their own universe in and of themselves and, if adapted into a movie, could quite possibly give they live and total recall a run for their money if done right
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Megapiss

Zeorus

voilà la guimbarde
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The big thing that defines a cow for me is, as previously mentioned, a certain degree of obliviousness. More specifically, a very naive obliviousness. I like cows that are boundlessly optimistic (or better yet, wildly ambitious), who believe that things will get better for them and their ambitions will be fulfilled without any effort or change on their part. This sets them up to fail which is amusing to me in a schadenfreude sort of way, but also kind of makes me want to root for them. The best examples of this are probably classic Chris, ADF, Connor Bible (in a particular part of his cycle), Augustus Sol Invictus, or Derek Savage. Nothing like an underdog.
 
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