What makes a lolcow for you personally

[Kaido117]

Someone who does bizarre/eccentric things and is funny. They never seek help or improve themselves so they keep fucking up. Also they must respond to bait, if they just ignore you then they may not be cow material. Typically these people have mental illness.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

They can't stop putting TMI onlie , even when they see the negative repercussions they double down and engage with people on the internet in the same way instead of what any normal person would do which is to shut it all down and lay low. It is chronic behaviour, they never change or improve, they'll always come back to repeat the pattern.

 

[Dahlia Hawthorne]

Stagnation.

A cow is a sedentary creature. It cannot and will not change.

 

[Scheele's Green]

In order of importance:

1) Prolific online posters.
2) Self righteous and unable to see their own faults.
3) Autistic hobbies or interests
4) Generally sucking at life/stupid

 

[Doctor Danny]

>here are super sensitive personal details i am placing on the internet for the world to see
>"ha you're retarded!"
>*8 paragraph message/30 minute rant about how people on the internet cant make fun of you for powerleveling*
>rinse and repeat

 

[Clovis]

They have to keep me wondering: what next?
Even the boring ones who cycle through the same behaviour patterns are on some sort of downwards trajectory. And I want to keep checking back to see how it goes. A good cow is a one-man soap opera.

They have to be more than just a weirdo posting their weirdness on the Internet. And more than just an angry argumentative person getting into comment section slapfights. Or a flash in the pan spectacular fuckup.

It's the combo of maladjustment and hubris and delivery of regular content with an oblivious attitude.

 

[5t3n0g0ph3r]

Requirements:
- Flagellate themselves on social media, expecting sympathy from randos.
- Use the same usernames on every platform.
- Posts TMI about themselves. Shame be damned!
- Refuses to better their lives.
- Cannot take criticism well.
- Narcissistic at unreasonable levels.
- Forms a "community" with cultish followers.
- Mentally ill and/or have substance abuse problems.

 

[KooksandFreaks]

An insane lack of self-awareness. They really don't get why other people find them ridiculous.

 

[Firetruck9000]

A lolcow is someone that posts laughable things on the internet while intending for people to take them seriously.

 

[Jarvis Cocker]

When you can’t believe someone is a real person.

 

[albert the programmer]

I think it’s for starters oversharing personal moments on social media and now it’s rationalizing drug use while over sharing personal moments on social media

 

[Pringles Can]

For me, if it's a trainwreck that you can't look away from where the main issue is caused by someone being a complete retard then they are a lolcow.

 

[Kung Pow Cream]

A lolcow has to have two things: the high probability of doing dumb stuff and also that they never learn or develop. Normal people learn from their mistakes, but lolcows don't. They just keep doing the same thing and never learn or develop. When they start learning, they eventually lose their lolcow status.

 

[Splinters RCVD ✞]

Any severely disturbed, unsettled person who is as badly malicious and egotistic. The former is what attracts ridicule, the latter is what seals it and makes any lolcow deserve it.

 

[Hijaboholic]

Two requirements for me:

• Believe in batshit conspiracy theories.
• Regularly posts content on social media about it.

An optional but funny factor is that they use Windows and mainstream social media, despite believing that those companies are in on whatever conspriacy they believe in. I have yet to see a skitzocow that uses Linux and something like BitChute or Brighteon for their videos.

 

[Sangria]

In no particular order:
- Terminally online
- Inflated ego
- Hyperfixates on politics, especially if they're part of a fringe political movement
- Being extremely open about their weird fetishes (being into BDSM alone isn't lolcow criteria, but talking about it all the time and making it your personality is)

Meeting at least two of those criteria makes you basically guaranteed to be a lolcow,