What makes children to single parents so fucked up? - Not specifically about black people

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Pretty much what the title says. The few people I know who had single parents were pretty fucked up emotionally.

 

[Blamo]

Lack of either of the parental role models and the parent having less time to interact with their children. Kids need attention and inputs to end up more well rounded.

 

[Reverend]

Balance and Sanity. True single parent's (where there is no other familiar support system) tend to not have enough time to spend with the children thereby leaving the children to grow up in the environment they live in. Unable to instill any proper values into said children the parent's let the educational system do all the raising while they go work or fuck off to welfare.

Vast majority of Single Parent's are women and I support all of them fully when the Dollar Ballet's opens again in my fair state.

 

[DumbDude42]

female child of single mother: she'll just copy her irresponsible mom's behavior (becoming an irresponsible slut) since there's no father around who could otherwise provide a counterweight to it

male child of single mother: lack of father to serve as role model means he'll either model himself after mom (becoming an effeminate loser who gets bullied) or after his peers (raised by the streets, violence, drugs, crime)

can't speak about single father situation cause it's super rare, never knew anybody who grew up like that

 

[Sylvie Paula Paula]

If a parent has left the picture or passed away, the child might think it's their fault somehow. Assuming that the relationship falling apart or a parent's death (ie. mom dying from birth complications) was 100% your fault can do numbers on your self-esteem, especially if it's not explained to you in a good way or until much later in life. Even then, there's always the underlying thought that "Oh, they're just lying to make me feel better about it".

Others also mentioned the lack of stability; even if one parent assumes both roles, it's not the same as both parents being there. This is also true if the mother wasn't able to form a proper bond with the baby for whatever reason, only being there to fulfill physical needs. A father just cannot assume the same roles in the way a mother would when it comes to nurturing a child, and the other way around. It also depends on the parent that was absent, because it does affect you differently depending on what you're lacking. There's probably been studies on this sort of thing you can do research on, I can only say so much by citing personal experience. Even then, it's only one side of a very complicated discussion.

 

[Idiotron]

Kids of single parents often have to raise themselves because the parent is working and then resting after work.
Try being a 3-4 year old who has to do trial and error in order to figure out the world, shit is tough.
You will get used and abused and, by the time you're an adult, you will be emotionally scarred for life.

 

[Sylvie Paula Paula]

Kids of single parents often have to raise themselves because the parent is working and then resting after work.
Try being a 3-4 year old who has to do trial and error in order to figure out the world, shit is tough.
You will get used and abused and, by the time you're an adult, you will be emotionally scarred for life.

In some cases this is true, but in others it isn't.

 

[albert chan]

Single fathers have much more to work with, since they always get replaced with the adulation that single mothers get for trying to play the role of both mother and father.

 

[Crazedking]

There are various factors, what you learn from your female parent vs male parents will always be different. Its a different experience and viewpoint they can teach. But the most major factor is simply that 2 parent household is most likely to be economically more succesful and this bring about a LOT of things. Better health, better schooling, etc. This is why most program just think that shoving money at single mothers would help balance it all but beside the socio economic difference of a 2 parents household, this is a much more complex situation. We just know that having a father and a mother will make you more succesful. Its not even debatable.

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

Roughly because single parenthood is always sign that something went wrong. Now I don't necessarily mean that anybody did anything wrong but people don't end up raising a child alone just because. Something somewhere went less than optimal and some of those can reasons can devastating to proper child development like if you are so unstable that you can't keep a relationship and a parent dies tragically. Regardless even if the reason for sigle parenthood isn't that bad a parent is still less great position. Without a mate you have less man power to do stuff, nobody to look after you, nobody to call you out when unreasonable and so on.

 

[Retired Junta Member]

I don't have a universally valid answer but all the single parents I have known practically ate spite for breakfast. with a side of victimhood. I guess it's not the best for a child.

 

[Coffee Shits]

Single mothers will raise male children to be weak because they can't comprehend the male psyche, and female children to be cunts because they hate the man who knocked them up.

Single fathers generally do alright, raising children who are emotionally cold, but best of luck finding this in the wild.

 

[DumbDude42]

There are various factors, what you learn from your female parent vs male parents will always be different. Its a different experience and viewpoint they can teach. But the most major factor is simply that 2 parent household is most likely to be economically more succesful and this bring about a LOT of things. Better health, better schooling, etc. This is why most program just think that shoving money at single mothers would help balance it all but beside the socio economic difference of a 2 parents household, this is a much more complex situation. We just know that having a father and a mother will make you more succesful. Its not even debatable.

money can't buy time and that's the one crucial thing a single parent household lacks. unless mommy is content with being a straight up welfare queen for at least 15 years, she simply won't have enough time to be there for the kid as much as would be required for optimal development.
currently the apprach seems to be to just outsource parenting to kindergarten, daycare, school, etc. but it simply doesn't work, a place where 30 random kids are herded by 3 random adult strangers doesn't compare to a home environment where a handful of kids are taken care of by their own parents.

 

[Megaroad 2012]

Had to help my brother in law escape a bizarre situation from his three our four roommates. All of them are from broken homes.

When he had came back home from school for thanksgiving, his roommaes bought all sorts of cleaning supplies and equipment without input from him and expected him to pay for it. He didn't, because why would he? Especially when he was the only one cleaning to begin with.

Anyways, over not getting "paid back" for the shit they bought, they began gas lighting the fuck out of him. Began accusing him of "physically intimidating" his roommates (bro in law is a tiny chinese kid. Roommates were jock jagoffs) and scariest was them going around claiming he is being a creep to some girl who actually likes him (girls defended him).

The take awaay, as my father in law said, all the tactics they started using on his son are learned from watching their parents marriage fall apart and lies they'd spread to fuck with each other and win alliances.

 

[Muscle Manlet]

Because mental retardation is genetic.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

They're usually single mothers because they have no real moral foundations to start with, so they have nothing positive to teach their accidents children.

 

[Sylvie Paula Paula]

Single fathers have much more to work with, since they always get replaced with the adulation that single mothers get for trying to play the role of both mother and father.

Eh, I'd disagree with you there. I don't see people fawning over single fathers other than people who think that DILFs are sexy. They don't get the same respect single mothers do. If anything, the idea of a single father is almost alien to a lot of people. They're not necessarily demonized, but the thought can come across as ridiculous, because how can a dad raise children on his own? Wouldn't it be better for them to be with their mother? Especially if there are daughters thrown into the mix. It seems like to an extent, there's an idea that kids of single parents should be raised by the parent of the same gender. But it feels like that issue's only really with daughters raised by single fathers.

Revelant powerlevel, my brother and I were raised by our dad, and everyone who knew this (including mental health professionals) thought it was an odd situation because of what I mentioned before. Single father + daughter in household + none of that "one week at your mom's, one week at your dad's" visitation rights situation = a decent amount of confusion if you didn't know anyone in the family well.

 

[TFT-A9]

There are various paths to getting fucked over by a single parent situation for a kid.

1. Single parent has to work their ass off and has no time to speak of with their kids. They shunt them into a daycare, or a sitter, or just have them go latchkey - or parentify them so the kid ends up taking care of the parent at times.
2. Single parent starts hopping between various "replacements" for the absentee parent. One or more end up abusing the kids in various fashions.
3. Single parent becomes a welfare sponge. Poor role model, basically ends up not caring about the kids beyond how much gibs they get them, as they're not even this parent's investment. Kids grow up in a vacuum of actual parenting, start seeking guidance elsewhere (gangs, or just "the wrong crowd" in general).

Probably more, and sometimes these can combine.

 

[Maskull]

Surprised no one’s brought up the harmful effects of adoption yet.

 

[Rupert Bear]

Old parents fuck up people six times more than single mothers or anything else. Just the biggest examples i can think of are Chris Chan and Jonathan Yaniv