What makes children to single parents so fucked up? - Not specifically about black people

[Toolbox]

Old parents fuck up people six times more than single mothers or anything else. Just the biggest examples i can think of are Chris Chan and Jonathan Yaniv

I think it's both not being able to connect with your kid as much due to so much generational difference, but also not being able to provide your child with much support in life for long (most likely) is pretty bad. The risk of possibly having a child with mental illnesses and other fuckups is enough.

 

[Rupert Bear]

I think it's both not being able to connect with your kid as much due to so much generational difference, but also not being able to provide your child with much support in life for long (most likely) is pretty bad. The risk of possibly having a child with mental illnesses and other fuckups is enough.

Not just the probability to have mental illnesses, but also having to deal with your geriatric parent's possible own mental illnesses. Older people are obviously prone to emotional disorders and throwing thunderous fits of rage over the smallest shit, which is trauma fodder. In the most extreme cases, they might even get alzheimers or something.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

I'd say the single mothers who do the most harm are those who still want to be young and party, and then shove junior into the care of a disinterested grandma. If you want to see a prime example of a failure of humanity raised by a single mother, watch the Sad Tale of Bohepans:

 

[Lemmingwise]

Good things have already bern said in this thread. The most important thing to understand is that single parent is a cause of a bad situation as much as it is the result of a bad situation. I'll talk mostly on why it's a result of one and then do a quick sumup on why it.s the cause of one.

Single parent often means something has gone wrong. This means it's not just a cause of bad results, but also a marker of bad setup. As such there is usually a big difference between single parent widow (who lost their partner due to war, accident or illness) and other single parents (pregnancy without relationship, rape, poor judge of character, poor judge of the world and thinking single parenthood is desirable).

Typically speaking the latter means the woman fucked up. Though rape has some intersections. Some could have been prevented. Some not so much. But outside of rape most of the time it's getting pregnant by a guy who is not going to stick around. And in most cases there a ways to prevent that happening.

Also think about what that means genetically. People who are genetically made up of deadbeats and rapists on the male side and poor judgement on the mother's side already start at -10 in life even before they start.

People really forget about how influential the genetic component is. A nurse I was acquinted with told me how another nurse adopted first one, then the second child of a drug addict junkie. I asked her at what age the kids started causing problems. She was a little offended and a little bit like I caught her hand in the cookie jar. She told me how the guy at 18 had pushed both his mother and sister down the stairs in an attempt to kill them and she no longer had contact with him, and barely with the daughter.

There is the saying that parents are environmentalists with the first child (thinking nurture surpasses everything) and they become geneticists with their second child, when they discover their child has trained them as much as vice versa and it depends on the child on how to treat them.

So with all of that foreplay out of the way, it's an easy sumup why two parents do better than one. It is also why married parents do better than divorced.

1. More resources (time, attention, money)
2. Covering each other's shortcomings
3. Understanding the unique challenges of opposite sex
4. Learning from seeing a functional male/female relationship
5. Giving children a positive and healthy experience with their first male and first female relationship.

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

Good things have already bern said in this thread. The most important thing to understand is that single parent is a cause of a bad situation as much as it is the result of a bad situation. I'll talk mostly on why it's a result of one and then do a quick sumup on why it.s the cause of one.

Single parent often means something has gone wrong. This means it's not just a cause of bad results, but also a marker of bad setup. As such there is usually a big difference between single parent widow (who lost their partner due to war, accident or illness) and other single parents (pregnancy without relationship, rape, poor judge of character, poor judge of the world and thinking single parenthood is desirable).

Typically speaking the latter means the woman fucked up. Though rape has some intersections. Some could have been prevented. Some not so much. But outside of rape most of the time it's getting pregnant by a guy who is not going to stick around. And in most cases there a ways to prevent that happening.

Also think about what that means genetically. People who are genetically made up of deadbeats and rapists on the male side and poor judgement on the mother's side already start at -10 in life even before they start.

People really forget about how influential the genetic component is. A nurse I was acquinted with told me how another nurse adopted first one, then the second child of a drug addict junkie. I asked her at what age the kids started causing problems. She was a little offended and a little bit like I caught her hand in the cookie jar. She told me how the guy at 18 had pushed both his mother and sister down the stairs in an attempt to kill them and she no longer had contact with him, and barely with the daughter.

There is the saying that parents are environmentalists with the first child (thinking nurture surpasses everything) and they become geneticists with their second child, when they discover their child has trained them as much as vice versa and it depends on the child on how to treat them.

So with all of that foreplay out of the way, it's an easy sumup why two parents do better than one. It is also why married parents do better than divorced.

1. More resources (time, attention, money)
2. Covering each other's shortcomings
3. Understanding the unique challenges of opposite sex
4. Learning from seeing a functional male/female relationship
5. Giving children a positive and healthy experience with their first male and first female relationship.

Also widows tend to get more support than just fucked the wrong guy girls. I have seen a single parent working out pretty great, most cases it has been lost the other parent to unfortunate fate and extended family step in to fill the cap. Family can and does help none widows too but they tend to be more active with widows. This isn't just because people feel more sorry to a widows but because loosing someone to illness or accident can happen to anyone but certain unpleasant attributes direct people more towards unhealthy relationships. Some of that unpleasantness tends come from unstable homelife so less help available in the first place but even healthy family is more likely to stay away for their own mental health and happiness so less support all around.