What sort of boyfriend would Chris be? -

[UltraSonichu]

The latest Jackie emails seem to suggest that Chris would blow hot and cold on any girlfriend he ever managed to obtain; switching between extremes of cold hostility and gushing lovey-dovey words depending on how much the lady appears to be criticising him.

So my question is, if he were in some sort of relationship, what sort of boyfriend would Chris be? Do you think if he had an IRL girlfriend he'd put up with any bullshit to hang onto her? Or would HE be the douchebag?

Discuss.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

He'd "put up" with a lot to hang on to her, but he'd bitch the whole way. And he would never, ever go out of his way to do something to make her happy. In his mind, if she's unhappy with him it's her own fault for not giving exact instructions.

 

[Judge Holden]

He'd "put up" with a lot to hang on to her, but he'd bitch the whole way. And he would never, ever go out of his way to do something to make her happy. In his mind, if she's unhappy with him it's her own fault for not giving exact instructions.

Sooo he would be a male version of Barb?

How the hell the weston genes survived history I shall never know

 

[Shadow Fox]

I think Alec hit the nail on the head. He'd go along with her requests for a little while and then she'd ask for one thing too many and he'd put his foot down and start whining about needing respect and trust and whatever, even though she would undoubtedly be the one paying all the bills and keeping the household afloat. If he were with any sane woman, it would only be a matter of time before he found his vidya, Legos and ponies in boxes on the curb. But no sane woman would ever consider him for a boyfriend in the first place, so I guess that's a moot point.

Makes me wonder if Chris ever bitches directly to Barb about making him do all her errands and stuff. (I know, probably not because he's a huge wussy, but I can only imagine how a confrontation like that would go.)

 

[Bob's Fries]

He'd "put up" with a lot to hang on to her, but he'd bitch the whole way. And he would never, ever go out of his way to do something to make her happy. In his mind, if she's unhappy with him it's her own fault for not giving exact instructions.

Sooo he would be a male version of Barb?

How the hell the weston genes survived history I shall never know

Society in those times. Marriage is more "arranged" than now, you see? So it's probably because of that. Or some mysterious reactions of genes occurred when some Native American and a Caucasian did the hanky panky.

 

[Hyperion]

It's not hard to procreate when you're willing to bang any man with a paycheck.

 

[pickleniggo]

Chris would definitely be the Barb in the relationship: an awful, nagging, lazy companion who refuses to do anything to improve anyone's life.

 

[snowkitten91]

Basically, he'd still behave as the spoiled brat that he has always been and would expect his heartsweet to babysit him just like Barb has done ever since he was born.

 

[GFYS]

If they were cohabiting, and Chris' partner controlled his finances, I could see how a very domineering person could successfully control him like Barb does now. The thing is, what would such a person stand to gain from keeping Chris under their rule? Unless they get off on it (and there are folks that do), nothing else - not his tugboat, not his random access humor, not his collection of semen stained toys - seems worth the trouble of his loose bowels and seeing his hideous face.

 

[homerbeoulve]

Chris as a boyfriend? Well, let's say it this way. He's going to be the type of boyfriend that will treat his girlfriend like a trophy that needs to be showed off everytime.

 

[DJAndyMD]

White version of Chris Brown?

Just kidding

Chris should not have said that he would be cold and hot to a girl. Once he disrespects a girl, they will dump his ass faster than ever.

 

[GFYS]

Chris should not have said that he would be cold and hot to a girl. Once he disrespects a girl, they will dump his ass faster than ever.

Unless he was hot and/or rich, or they had low enough standards and/or self esteem. Most of the people I know have or are disrespectful partners, because it's become socially unacceptable to be single - mental or physical abuse be damned. Fortunately, I can't ever foresee any possibility of Chris being desirable in any way at all, except as a punching bag. He'll never be in a position where he could be disrespectful of a genuine mate.

 

[DJAndyMD]

Chris should not have said that he would be cold and hot to a girl. Once he disrespects a girl, they will dump his ass faster than ever.

Unless he was hot and/or rich, or they had low enough standards and/or self esteem. Most of the people I know have or are disrespectful partners, because it's become socially unacceptable to be single - mental or physical abuse be damned. Fortunately, I can't ever foresee any possibility of Chris being desirable in any way at all, except as a punching bag. He'll never be in a position where he could be disrespectful of a genuine mate.

It makes you wonder what he will do to a genuine mate if she disagrees with everything he wants, like refusing to name their kid Crystal because...I would name my daughter something else without hesitation.

 

[Hyperion]

Chris as a boyfriend? Well, let's say it this way. He's going to be the type of boyfriend that will treat his girlfriend like a trophy that needs to be showed off everytime.

So... like a teenage boy with his first girlfriend?

Sounds about right.

 

[homerbeoulve]

Chris as a boyfriend? Well, let's say it this way. He's going to be the type of boyfriend that will treat his girlfriend like a trophy that needs to be showed off everytime.

So... like a teenage boy with his first girlfriend?

Sounds about right.

E-yupsolutely.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I think he would quickly revert to little boy mode, which in my opinion is something he very much wants to be able to do. Lots more of "I'll be your good boy forever and for always," as he morphs his relationship into something quasi incestuous, taking the submissive role in everything and hoping that the woman enjoys being mommy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to projectile vomit.

 

[2_CUTE_2_BOLT]

If he turned out to be the abusive type, we can rest easy knowing a toddler could overpower or out-run him.

 

[Fibonacci]

I imagine him as being not quite unlike Salad Fingers, if Salad Fingers were someone's boyfriend.

 

[UltraSonichu]

See, I don't think he WOULD push her far enough to see his toys and vidya kicked to the curb. The guy's been desperate for 'twu wuv' for 10 freaking years. I reckon he'd mostly stick to the constant empty platitudes ('I know we're going to be together forever' etc) while doing the same old shit he's always done - playing vidya and eating fast food - except when he occasionally asks her to lie back and think of England (Or Virginia if you prefer) until she gets sick of it all and leaves in the night.

 

[Stratochu]

Male version of Barb. Which he basically is already.