What Was the WORST Thing that You've Ever Made?

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mulliganfarmer

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 10, 2016
Got stuck in the house once miles from anywhere, no car, with only the bare elements of food. The nearest store was over an hour's walk both ways, in the dark with no streetlights, on a winding country road where the cars tear around past any normal speed limit.

I got a craving for something sweet, but I didn't even have eggs, milk or any of the other ingredients to make a basic mug cake or pancakes. I found a student cookbook recipe online for a kind of fudge made from peanut butter, coconut oil and powdered sugar, so I gave that a try.

It tasted like soap, had the consistency of mucus and looked like square pieces of actual mildly solid shit. I tried to improve it a bit by adding a makeshift 'fudge sauce' out of more icing sugar, cocoa powder and hot water. It just looked like I added a darker, less solid layer of shit.
 

One laugh Too Many

Just waiting for one laugh too many
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 5, 2017
SO im on a diet...and i have these xchicken sausages that make me want to punch infants....

hop em up anput them with some veggies and decided i was gonna make a stir fry. It was so bad.....so bad. The chicken sausages dont crisp up right, they taste like rubber, the veggies took on that taste..... I wanted to die .
 

Koby_Fish

The advice of the GALACTICALLY STUPID
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 24, 2014
Worst thing I ever made was pancakes from "Coyote Brand" pancake mix. That shit's hWHOLE hWHEAT! YUCK. "Howling success" MY ASS. Seriously don't ever buy that shit unless you're all about the hWhole hWheat.
 

Orth

...
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 3, 2017
SO im on a diet...and i have these xchicken sausages that make me want to punch infants....
Try chicken meatballs, just cut them into small pieces before cooking

And on topic, I used riced cauliflower instead of real rice and whatever it was I made turned into modeling clay.
 

Koby_Fish

The advice of the GALACTICALLY STUPID
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 24, 2014
Cunts and bellends
well that goes without saying, but was it like, stolen out of your fridge by family members or whoever, and what did they do with that shit when they got it?
 

Miss Walsh

Strong independent woman.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 1, 2017
well that goes without saying, but was it like, stolen out of your fridge by family members or whoever, and what did they do with that shit when they got it?

Definitely family, but fucked if I know what happened to it 20 years later. I would assume stolen food is often eaten though
 

Koby_Fish

The advice of the GALACTICALLY STUPID
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 24, 2014
Definitely family, but fucked if I know what happened to it 20 years later. I would assume stolen food is often eaten though
nobody fessed up at the time, I take it? Just a round of denials?
 

Hatoful Dandy

Minstrel of Sorrow
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 20, 2016
I once made lemon spaghetti but did not have any lemon juice handy...so I tried substituting it with lime juice and hoped for the best.

BIG mistake. Still had to eat it though because i had no other food in the house.
 

Yeeb-Renzo

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
One mourning I tried making myself pancakes, and as I was following instructions on a website, I realized that I didn't have all of the right ingredients, I think I was missing sugar or didn't have enough milk, or I accidentally used spoilt milk. But either way, when the final product was made, It ended up tasting really dry, stale, and salty. I kept drenching it in syrup but no matter how much I add, it would not go away. I also tried washing it down with orange juice I had with me, but that only made it taste bitter and worse...
 

MerriedxReldnahc

Hammer Whore-er
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 10, 2013
One morning I wanted to make cinnamon toast for breakfast. I buttered my toast, added a pinch of sugar and in my sleepy zombie state added what I thought was cinnamon. It wasn't cinnamon it as celery salt.
My dad once tried to add a tasty dusting of cayanne to his macaroni and cheese only to realize far too late that our cayanne jar and cinnamon jar look exactly the same. Now I always check to make sure I'm not dusting cayanne on my cereal
Speaking of my pop, he once tried to make a turkey sandwich to bring to work only to find we had no turkey. That's ok, he'll just make a peanut butter and honey sandwich. Well unfortunatly we were out of bread. But we had tortillas! Peanut butter and honey tortilla roll-up us fine. Except we were out of honey too. We DID have some old molasses though. So dad ended up with a peanut butter and molasses tortilla roll for his lunch. He went on to father me, who at some point thought that jello and marshmellows were acceptable peanut butter sandwich ingredients.
 

spigot the bear

FINALLY THE WESTMINSTER DONG SHOW
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 17, 2017
goddamn.jpeg
Not "the WORST" thing i made but i can't exactly say im proud of this thing i brought into being.
 

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