What will Cole Smithey do when Barb dies? - And then when Chris dies?

[heyyyJackiePie]

Will anything even happen to Cole or will he not even notice?

 

[Randy Lahey]

Cole will have the greatest craft beer party known to man.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Be boring and mildly productive.

 

[Golly]

He'll hear about it from the trolls, sigh, then buy a cake.

 

[AnOminous]

He'll be too anal-retentive to shit himself, but he'll still do nothing.

 

[Darndirty]

He should at least send flowers,she is still his mom. She did the bare minimum, he should to.

The far better question, is does jump onto the casket crying at some point during the funeral or as it's lowered into the ground. In a dress and black hat screaming "laud Jesus not my mommy".
I'll take action on that

 

[AnOminous]

He should at least send flowers,she is still his mom. She did the bare minimum, he should to.

He's a completely insecure hipster faggot who just can't cope with the fact his roots are white trash.

What a gutless poseur.

 

[Doc Cassidy]

Masturbate

 

[Sperglord Dante]

How would he know? Cole has probably deleted mails and tweets from weens telling him Barb Wes Snorlachu just died for years by now. When Barbs croaks for real he'll assume it's more weening.

 

[Syaoran Li]

If he had any sense of decency and wasn't a pretentious hipster douchebag, he'd send Chris some flowers or at least give him some form of condolences.

Hell, if it were my mother, I'd at least try to attend the funeral even if I did hate her as much as he does, because it's the right thing to do.

But given what we know about Cole, he will probably be all smug and otherwise do nothing of note. I highly doubt he'll even acknowledge Chris and Barb when she dies, let alone show up to the funeral.

 

[AnOminous]

If he had any sense of decency and wasn't a pretentious hipster douchebag, he'd send Chris some flowers or at least give him some form of condolences.

Hell, if it were my mother, I'd at least try to attend the funeral even if I did hate her as much as he does, because it's the right thing to do.

This is because you're not a shitbag.

Cole is a shitbag. He taunted his own retarded brother about the death of his father.

"Let me know when that fuck Bob finally drops." Who the fuck sends something like that to their retard brother?

 

[DecrepitSimonla]

Will anything even happen to Cole or will he not even notice?

Celebrate, maybe dance on her grave. To be fair, I don't think that will be undeserved.

 

[BadaBadaBoom]

He'll adopt Chris and tie him up in his basement while making him watch his reviews over and over Clockwork Orange style.

 

[Orkeosaurus]

If he were cool he'd do a big stream party while getting wasted off his ass with craft beer and regaling the audience with Barb stories

 

[Subconcious Offense]

He will be solicited by Chris even more than now.

 

[GS 281]

Shit himself and do nothing.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

If he had any sense of decency and wasn't a pretentious hipster douchebag, he'd send Chris some flowers or at least give him some form of condolences.

Hell, if it were my mother, I'd at least try to attend the funeral even if I did hate her as much as he does, because it's the right thing to do.

But given what we know about Cole, he will probably be all smug and otherwise do nothing of note. I highly doubt he'll even acknowledge Chris and Barb when she dies, let alone show up to the funeral.

This is because you're not a shitbag.

Cole is a shitbag. He taunted his own exceptional brother about the death of his father.

"Let me know when that fuck Bob finally drops." Who the fuck sends something like that to their exceptional individual brother?

Barb is an amoral harpy, and everything we have suggests his life with her was hell. She won't even tell him who his real father is and he can't figure it out because she was such a revolting whore back in the day.
I'm not saying he's not a pretentious ass with an absolutely insufferable ego, but it's hardly surprising there's no love lost between them, and Chris' infamy doesn't help.
Would you have kept in touch, knowing that even tangental contact with Chris means that a legion of obsessive internet people will investigate your every word? I wouldn't.
Barb can offer him nothing, has been a source of nothing but misery, and has already screwed her remaining son out of what little he has. That's a kind of person you leave in the past where she belongs.
I'm not defending what a prick he is, mind you, but it's at least half her fault, and I can't blame him for not giving a shit.

 

[AnOminous]

Barb is an amoral harpy, and everything we have suggests his life with her was hell. She won't even tell him who his real father is and he can't figure it out because she was such a revolting whore back in the day.

And he follows his amoral harpy mother well when he sadistically taunts his mentally challenged brother with the impending death of his father.

Unlike other Chandlers, Cole Smithey has no excuse of being just too dumb to know better. The man is a calculated sadist and asshole.

 

[Kumatora]

Dance on her grave then continue his boring-ass reviews.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

And he follows his amoral harpy mother well when he sadistically taunts his mentally challenged brother with the impending death of his father.

Unlike other Chandlers, Cole Smithey has no excuse of being just too dumb to know better. The man is a calculated sadist and asshole.

Yes, the children of disfunctional homes often end up as such.
I'm not pardoning the behavior, but I am placing the blame on her. She nearly killed him with a gun as a child, is it shocking that he's a mean-spirited prick?
Cole is a shithead because he was raised by shitheads. Additional exposure to the family is not going to improve things.