What will happen when Amber dies? - It‘s like the Barb Thread but with Amber

What will become of CadaverLynn?

  • Cremation, local zoo incinerator

    Votes: 54 31.2%
  • Burial, piano box

    Votes: 29 16.8%
  • Science, largest-ever donation to Body Farm

    Votes: 28 16.2%
  • Controlled explosion of her carcass on the shores of Toxic Shock Lake

    Votes: 62 35.8%

  • Total voters
    173

derpi

Shaped like a girl
kiwifarms.net
Her death will likely be a slow, drawn out process. She’ll get an infection or her foot will fall off, go to the hospital, stay a while, they’ll declare she’s okay after a few days/weeks, and when she gets home she’ll be fine for another couple of weeks. Then, similarly to A Fat Chance, she’ll get another infection, another hospitalization, repeat ad infinatum until only palliative care can be offered to her.
Then Becky and Eric will pretend to be sad for a few weeks and vlog about it until the views dry up.
 

Dr.Research

Dissertation Topic: Lolcows
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
If you haven't dealt with death on a beneficiary/making decisions level, you have no idea what a pain in the ass it is.

Let's say Amber either lapses into a coma, dies in a hospital or has an emergency, get taken to hospital then dies. The first thing is finding the next of kin. This isn't too hard in this case, since Amber seems to be getting back in touch with her family. The next of kin hierarchy goes: spouse, child, parent, sibling, so on, so on. Since Becks and Amber aren't married and Hamby doesn't have kids, her mom/dad/them together call the shots. Her parents dealing with this out of state is possible, but not ideal. I can't think of the technical term, but there is a legal document that you can have made up that specifically lists a person as the one to make medical decisions for you if you're unable to, and this would be the only way Becky could have any legal say in Amber's care at this state (such as enacting a do not resuscitate order) if she was listed.

Amber not having a will (which I can 100% guarantee is the case) doesn't really matter here since she has no wealth or items worth any money. If Amber's family really wanted claim to her shit ("estate"), they could go to court over it. This would cost thousands on it's own and take time. But on the bright side because there's no will any bills Amber may have probably won't get passed on to her relatives, at least anything in her name only.
Not having life insurance sucks, but only because if someone does hunker down and take responsibility as next of kin they would have to pay out of pocket for all funeral/crematory expenses. I don't know if the price would be higher for someone Amber's size, but I imagine her family would need to disclose her size to any funeral service company they contact or risk them just not being able to take her.

Honestly, I don't know if Amber's white trash family would bother doing this, especially if they know there's nothing in it for them aside from making sure she has a proper burial or they get her ashes. There's tons of being on the phone, explaining your story to a million people, hearing the same "I'm sorry for your loss, let me know if I can help" spiel, keeping track of dates and who's who... and that's not taking into account making funeral arrangements, notifying relatives, traveling to Kentucky, helping Becky clear out Amber's stuff and grieving.

I'm purposely leaving a lot out, but it's a huge ordeal. And again, because of her size she makes an already difficult time even harder. How Amber.

TL;DR Her family with either step up and take care of her final expenses and matters, or just not and let the state or whoever deals with unidentifieds and people they can't find next of kin deal with getting her cremated and dumped somewhere.

I'm not a lawyer or expert, I've just been the next of kin.
 

Dutch Courage

Curious Onlooker
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I noticed upthread somewhere that Amberlynn wishes to be cremated, which sounds so romantic...

Sadly though, a reality check reveals that she is mostly out of luck. Generally speaking, most crematoriums simply cannot cremate persons over about 260 lbs. While many cremation chamber manufacturers advertise weight limits of 800 lbs. (body + casket), and some go as high as 1000 lbs., most crematories won't accept persons over 260 or sometimes 280, for insurance and safety reasons. The fire in a cremation chamber is mind-bogglingly hot, reaching a temperature of up to 2000 degrees Fahrenheit, and fatty tissue burns like gasoline as it liquefies. Normal human tissue gives out 1,000BTUs when burned, while fatty tissue gives out 20,000BTUs, thus burning 20 times hotter. Cremating a body the size of Amberlynn's would be akin to pouring a bucket of gasoline into a blast furnace. The runaway fire effect it causes will and has killed careless crematory operators.

So, few want to play with weight over 260-280. It is literally playing with fire. Insurance companies frown on it, and crematory operators will tell you sorry, but no thanks.

Last year a crematory in Cincinnati took a chance with a fatty and burned to the ground.

https://nypost.com/2017/04/26/overly-obese-body-sets-crematorium-on-fire/

In 2012, same thing happened in Austria. The woman was 440 pounds:

https://nypost.com/2012/06/06/fire-...omans-excessive-body-fat-blocking-air-filter/

So Amberlynn needs to start planning on a double-plot burial. I reckon plots in Kentucky aren't all that expensive, and the choice of caskets at 530 pounds is limited mainly to an overpriced wooden crate, but it is cheaper than the fancy bronze-plated, silk-lined caskets thin people get to enjoy. Not the most romantic of burials, but it will save her survivors a lot of trouble. You'd have to pay a crematory a lot more money than it is worth to take a chance on cremating Amberlynn's corpse. However, Becky still can squeeze under the limit if she keeps going to the gym with the boys...
 

DontTellMeHowToPlay

kiwifarms.net
The only safe way would be to cremate her dismembered limbs one at a time. I doubt they have the willingness and tools to go that far. (They're pyromaniacs, not axe murderers.)

An old fashioned funeral pyre might work assuming they can make a flammable structure that can handle 600 elbeez of dead flesh.

Remember the end to What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
:agree:
Shit, anything is possible at this point.
 

Xenomorph

I've got more demons where that came from.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
'Mad on the internet'? WTF is that about? I'm laughing @ YOU.

I'm going to contact ALR via social media and help her to destroy Zach. He lied that he is out of town due to family matters. Chantal ripped him a new one when she reported him to youtube for copyright.

Hahahahahaha. OMG it's so funny to me how transparent the real cows are. MOOOOO!
Who cares? Most of us dont suck the tribal council of AL critic's dicks.
Also lol @ you caring about ratings. :story:
 

Manapan

Person of Interest
kiwifarms.net
Shit, I literally just realized reading this that the reason Lizzy's cremation was $2000 was likely her size. And she was like 100 ellbees lighter than AL. Gorl needs to prepay her death expenses.

Also to those wondering upthread, they're looking at two extra large urns, minimum. I only have half of Lizzy's ashes (she came home in two full containers and the other one went to her mom). They weigh about five pounds, so it seems like 430 pounds in life reduces to 10 in ashes?
 

ricecake

Food Attic
kiwifarms.net
Let's say Amber either lapses into a coma, dies in a hospital or has an emergency, get taken to hospital then dies. The first thing is finding the next of kin. This isn't too hard in this case, since Amber seems to be getting back in touch with her family. The next of kin hierarchy goes: spouse, child, parent, sibling, so on, so on. Since Becks and Amber aren't married and Hamby doesn't have kids, her mom/dad/them together call the shots. Her parents dealing with this out of state is possible, but not ideal. I can't think of the technical term, but there is a legal document that you can have made up that specifically lists a person as the one to make medical decisions for you if you're unable to, and this would be the only way Becky could have any legal say in Amber's care at this state (such as enacting a do not resuscitate order) if she was listed.
Health care proxy or medical power of attorney (depends on the state as to what they call it).

Amber not having a will (which I can 100% guarantee is the case) doesn't really matter here since she has no wealth or items worth any money. If Amber's family really wanted claim to her shit ("estate"), they could go to court over it. This would cost thousands on it's own and take time. But on the bright side because there's no will any bills Amber may have probably won't get passed on to her relatives, at least anything in her name only.
If you don't have a lot of assets, most states make it fairly affordable to have an estate administrator appointed. Basically, the cost of probate/administration is usually relative to the estate. Really, everyone needs to have an administrator or executor, even if it's just to cancel Netflix and turn off your water. Her family won't be personally responsible for her bills, but the creditors will come after the estate. A good administrator or executor settles the bills for pennies on the dollar to keep more money for beneficiaries.

Amber does have assets. Her YouTube channel is going to continue to earn AdSense revenue if she is bedbound, in a coma, or dead. In fact, she'll probably get a bump in viewership when she dies. Her YouTube channel is worth however much she made off of it last year, I guess. I think it would probably be treated as royalties. Which is enough for her redneck family to go after it to get the AdSense bux. Becky won't see a penny of it, let alone Eric and Rickie.
 

hotcheetospuffs

Bora Bora Eat Some More-a
kiwifarms.net
Shit, I literally just realized reading this that the reason Lizzy's cremation was $2000 was likely her size. And she was like 100 ellbees lighter than AL. Gorl needs to prepay her death expenses.

Also to those wondering upthread, they're looking at two extra large urns, minimum. I only have half of Lizzy's ashes (she came home in two full containers and the other one went to her mom). They weigh about five pounds, so it seems like 430 pounds in life reduces to 10 in ashes?
Pre-paying is a great idea.
How great would that thumbnail be? "Planning My Funeral |*EMOTIONAL" and picture of her looking forlorn with a giant open casket in the background with her "corpse face." She could probably pay for the funeral with the views alone, and get sponsored by a funeral home if she was smart. She'd get tons of sympathy and bonus asspats for being so responsible and thoughtful to her loved ones.
 

Xenomorph

I've got more demons where that came from.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
When AL dies all the money will go into hospital/emergency care since she has no insurance and makes too much for Medicaid.
Also funeral expenses since she has no life insurance that is all out of pocket costs.
AL likes to quickly withdraw her money from the bank and if Becky doesn't have access to her bank accounts or listed as a joint owner she will not get access to that money.
She has no POA or living will, so they could keep her on machines forever if her family doesn't come and make a decision.
 

Whale Lake

Your Favourite Tchaikowski Ballet
kiwifarms.net
I was actually thinking about her pets... after her death, Becky surely won't want to take care of them, as she'll too busy finding another morbidly obese sugar momma with abusive tendencies, and Rickie and Eric won't probably have anything to do with another dog and two cats, because they already their own pets to run after. Her family? Probably won't give a shit about Twinkie Store, Rarity and the other one, so they'll end up in a shelter and will be adopted by some caring soul who actually puts animals before themselves and their stomach.
I can already see a possible video from The Dodo or some other YouTube channel like that. Footage of the poor pets being tortured by Amber and the Thumb Woman, Twinkie Store obese and scared in the car, video proof that they would leave all of them at home alone for days on end, and then footage of them in their new house, with their new owner, who tells how the rescue operation went on and how they made Twinkie lose weight, fixed Rarity, how lovely and affectionate is Wasabi.

Edited because pronouns
 
Last edited:
Tags
None