What will happen when Amber dies? - It‘s like the Barb Thread but with Amber

What will become of CadaverLynn?

  • Cremation, local zoo incinerator

    Votes: 139 32.9%
  • Burial, piano box

    Votes: 76 18.0%
  • Science, largest-ever donation to Body Farm

    Votes: 75 17.8%
  • Controlled explosion of her carcass on the shores of Toxic Shock Lake

    Votes: 132 31.3%

  • Total voters
    422

Moonpie

Ride the Lightening
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
When AnberLynn dies they'll need a forklift to carry the coffin, because 6 men can't handle that weight.
Also the size of her grave is most likely the same size you would dig to put a 105mm howitzer in.
Eric, Rickie, Becky, D&D, Hannah and Rafe as pallbearers.
Good grief could you see the funeral parlors director's face? Lol
 

hourglass figure

I know what works for me
kiwifarms.net
You can get trolleys and just have people wheel the casket out instead of carrying it, but I'm unsure of weight limits.

Just had a thought though. The one thing Amber has wanted to do since she moved to KY is to leave. Wouldn't that be some sort of kick in the guts being buried there?
 

Fascist Ferret

reporting for duty
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I think that by the time Al dies (if it is cancer that kills her) she might be able to fit into a normal sized casket or crematorium. But I still chose dynamite on the shore of Toxic Shock Lake. 🌈
I remember reading about a time they blew up a beached whale, but watchers were too close, something caused an issue, and the blubber chunks were so thick and got yeeted at such a velocity that buildings and cars were destroyed, I think there were injuries too.

TLDR
Handling amberlynn's body this way would be fun af but potentially dangerous imo.
 

Mad Asshatter

My other name was Maggot
kiwifarms.net
If she dies while fat, they better hope they can get her refrigerated quickly. Fat bodies retain heat extremely well, and decomposition loves lingering body heat.

Obese bodies bloat and liquify. The skin and fat pads can often slide off of the rotting muscle meat of the body if someone tries to move them, the great quantities of food they often contain in their stomachs and intestines ferments and can come back up, and because they eat a lot (and thus likely have bigger shits) they will also evacuate their bowels in greater quantity.
 

Peetz's Bank Account

hamood's got talent arabic ringtone
kiwifarms.net
I think the extra fat makes it a MESS to examine. The yellow fat in humans is smelly and oily. Not worth the clean up.
Yep. The reason abnormal bodies are usually rejected is because those abnormalities make post-mortem studies difficult and frustrating. There's not enough information that could come out of studying an abnormal cadaver that it would justify spending the time to navigate dissecting and preserving it.

Anyway, I think the Williams clan is going to collectively drag Albert's body out behind Chez Fag and have a bonfire over which they will cook a large pot of soup beans to avenge Norma's death.
 

Darth_Texan

Come to the dark side, y’all - we got BBQ
kiwifarms.net
The only safe way would be to cremate her dismembered limbs one at a time. I doubt they have the willingness and tools to go that far. (They're pyromaniacs, not axe murderers.)

An old fashioned funeral pyre might work assuming they can make a flammable structure that can handle 600 elbeez of dead flesh.

Wait, candles can be made out of fat - they can replenish the fagshanty’s collection with natural, organic ALR candles!
 
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SuiSui1

kiwifarms.net
If she dies while fat, they better hope they can get her refrigerated quickly. Fat bodies retain heat extremely well, and decomposition loves lingering body heat.

Obese bodies bloat and liquify. The skin and fat pads can often slide off of the rotting muscle meat of the body if someone tries to move them, the great quantities of food they often contain in their stomachs and intestines ferments and can come back up, and because they eat a lot (and thus likely have bigger shits) they will also evacuate their bowels in greater quantity.

So you are saying something like this could happen?

anigif_enhanced-buzz-7468-1385565319-12.gif
 

dingobaby

kiwifarms.net
Would they even have to cut her open? Would the post mortem exam be very invasive if cause of death is already known? I know that a corpse is not legally required to be embalmed, though she may need to be by the time she gets shipped to a funeral home that can accommodate her. Maybe just getting her into the ground asap would be the best choice
 
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