What would you tell Past Chris? (Serious) -

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BigBoss

kiwifarms.net
If you were seriously given the chance to go back in time to any time in Chris's life and tell him one thing, what would it be?

The rules are:
[*]You can go back to any saga since he was discovered, but can't go back before that.
[*]You aren't allowed to directly tell him about his future (which could be changed by the one thing you say anyway).
[*]The one thing you say can be as long as you want it to be, within reason. Think of it as though you were sending an e-mail to him from the future.
 

Alec Benson Leary

Creator of Asperchu
Christorical Figure
kiwifarms.net
I would warn him that his daughter Crystal was going to marry a black man, and his grandchildren would be dark-skinned.
 

CatParty

Boo
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
i would just show him this:


Dat-thinning.jpeg
 

Alec Benson Leary

Creator of Asperchu
Christorical Figure
kiwifarms.net
CatParty said:
i would just show him this:
Ah, go back to the day he made his future message and show him that. He wouldn't know what to think. He'd probably deny it was even him.
 

BigBoss

kiwifarms.net
Alec Benson Leary said:
CatParty said:
i would just show him this:
Ah, go back to the day he made his future message and show him that. He wouldn't know what to think. He'd probably deny it was even him.

He'd probably claim that it was a "homo imposter" or something along those lines and would make a video or two about how he likes DYKES and CHINA and not :pickle:
 

Judge Holden

NO!!! MASSA NO!!!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Aiko Heiwa said:
Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead.

I fell a lil bit in love with you there :biggrin:

As for what I would say to him..... honestly I would be highly tempted just to scream JULAAAAAAAAAAY at him, yes I know its stupid and unfunny as all hell, but in this case he will just write it off as another odd moment in the odd life of Christyan weston chandler. Then several years later, when a thousand prank calls, letters, and carrier pigeons arrive at his house a night, all screaming JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, he will know he has been literally mocked through time and space

Other then that though, if I cant change his future or tell him things he shouldnt know, I would instead try to indtroduce him to a work he would have a good chance of liking, while being as flattering to his ego as possible, so that when I return to the present Chris's rip offs have a brand new aspect to them that didnt exist before.

The only question is whether I try to introduce him to stuff like Avatar TLA or the DCAU, something less "weighty and conflict filled" like Thomas the tank engine (or really any british preteen show), or something more "hands on" like an RPG where he can create his mary sue Chris-Ch@n-Sonichu in the setting of Dungeons and Dragons (Tempting as it is to trick him into Call of Cthulhu.... hell maybe thats another thing I should do, make him get into something lovecrafty)
 

Donald Duck

LEGO IS EXPENSIVE!!!
kiwifarms.net
I'd tell him not to give up drawing Sonichu comics as it will eventually get him a sweetheart for life.
 

BigBoss

kiwifarms.net
Judge Holden said:
As for what I would say to him..... honestly I would be highly tempted just to scream JULAAAAAAAAAAY at him, yes I know its stupid and unfunny as all hell, but in this case he will just write it off as another odd moment in the odd life of Christyan weston chandler. Then several years later, when a thousand prank calls, letters, and carrier pigeons arrive at his house a night, all screaming JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, he will know he has been literally mocked through time and space

But he wouldn't. You altered the timeline before Julie even existed, so he wouldn't get the chance to scream :julay:
 

xlk

kiwifarms.net
I'd show him every video and explain to him how to prevent his life from being fucking awful. Show him how to bath, groom, cook for himself, work out, and save his own money. I'd also show him what type of clothes to buy from the Goodwill (they have some good stuff there), how to behave around other people, and to at least be alright with homosexuals. It would take a lot of work but I think he could have been saved; can't say the same now.
 

Coldgrip

Still not Cody.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Come with me if you want to live.

Edit: Alternatively, Chris, if someone ever tries to force you to do something you don't want to do, just tell the as loud as you can that you're your own free bitch.
 

Marvin

Christorical Figure
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
xlk said:
I'd show him every video and explain to him how to prevent his life from being fucking awful. Show him how to bath, groom, cook for himself, work out, and save his own money. I'd also show him what type of clothes to buy from the Goodwill (they have some good stuff there), how to behave around other people, and to at least be alright with homosexuals. It would take a lot of work but I think he could have been saved; can't say the same now.
*yawn*
 

Hyperion

D E A D
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'd go back to when Chris was stopped at a Sonic during his Cleveland trip and steal his car. There would only be a picture of "Clyde Cash" left where the car was parked.
 

Mr. 0

god im not good at computer how did this get here
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'd tell him that his life was going to suck forever in five words:

CURSE YE HA ME HA!!!!
 

Trombonista

はアーさっぱりさっぱり
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"Don't bring a handheld with you to your Attraction Locations. If you play video games, people will think you want to be left alone."
 
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